* Posts by Rafael 1

141 publicly visible posts • joined 11 Jun 2009

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iPad 2? Let's be kind and call it iPad 1.5

Rafael 1
Happy

"Not different enough"

Let's see if I got it:

1) "Unnamed insiders" spread lots of lies^H^H^H^H facts about features for the new, improved iPad.

2) Some of those facts are supported by badly photoshopped pictures leaked from Chinese makers.

3) iPad fails to deliver all those reported improvements. How DARE they?

4) The Reg complains because the iPad is not what they (we? who?) expected.

OK, people, let's play the iPad 3 Game. Spread facts/wish lists about the iPad 3 and let's help with the writing of the next year's report on how it failed to live up to the rumours. I'll start:

The iPad 3 will be released on June 1st, 2011. At the same time the iPad 2 will start selling for 50 bucks, with that fancy cover for free. It will have four -- nay, 16 times the resolution, weight 100 grams (102 for the 3G/4G model), a full telepathic interface, Bose speakers, 1Tb of RAM, ports for SD, Memory Stick, USB 3.0, Firewire, eSata and Thundercats or whatever the name of the new port is, a *physical* keyboard, a carbon fiber body, non-reflective screen, two 14Mp back-facing and two 8MP front-facing cameras and will be, from day one, available in black, white and Ferrari red.

It will still run iOS (version 7.0) so people can still complain about the lack of whatever they want.

Here's a photo of it, got it from a neighboor's dog, which owner, I am quite sure, eats in a Chinese restaurant whose owner is cousin with someone that may or not be a worker in a Chinese company on something that may or not be related to Apple. There are some teeth marks on it, but if you squint really hard you can recognize the features and endlessly (or at least until June 1st) speculate on them.

+----+

| |

+----+

(ok, I am a bad photoshopper).

Oracle gives 21 (new) reasons to uninstall Java

Rafael 1
Dead Vulture

Re: I dislike this sort of cheap "journalism" too

From the article: "We won't spend much time complaining about Oracle's legal broadside on the Android operating system, but that's another reason you may want to avoid Java."

That explains it all for me -- Oracle is being bad to Android so let's us give Oracle a wedgie by uninstalling Java from our desktops.

Oracle and Java: Mobile dev FAIL dooms Ellison's future

Rafael 1
Thumb Up

Teaching programming

Some people still use Pascal to teach programming -- not that I'd do that, but I agree that *concepts* are more important than *tools*, at least for teaching programming.

In a side note, I love when I get people's CVs which mention HTML as a programming language... I have to resist the urge to ask them to implement a sorting algorithm in HTML.

LinkedIn to go public this year

Rafael 1

spam

I'm thinking about joining in so they stop sending me invitations or whatever from people I met just minutes some years ago... several of those contacts were supposed to be students but never showed up in lectures.

Steve Jobs chops student hack down to size

Rafael 1
Jobs Halo

Lazy students

Once, while working in a local college, I had to deal with complains from a student (administration major) that the librarian "wasn't helping at all with her research".

Following rules, I've asked the librarian about the problem. The librarian told me that the student went to her office asking "what's the difference between culture and civilization". The librarian told the student to search in the encyclopaedia, and five minutes later the student was back complaining that there were entries for culture and for civilization, but not an entry for "difference between culture and civilization".

No sympathy for that student.

Twitter airport bomb joker loses second job

Rafael 1
Paris Hilton

the Twitter joker victim

It's too early in the morning, so all I can think is "is there a Twitter Batman"?

Perseid meteors 'thrill star-gazers'

Rafael 1
Heart

I salute you...

... for not putting several long exposure photos and calling them "meteors" as the Daily Mail (and Folha de São Paulo: http://www1.folha.uol.com.br/ciencia/782325-chuva-de-meteoros-da-espetaculo-no-hemisferio-norte-veja-fotos.shtml) did.

Germany bans BlackBerrys and iPhones on snooping fears

Rafael 1
FAIL

And...

"bans" is not the same as "advise not to use". Even the "ban" being considered will be applied to "certain German ministries".

But hey, they've got our attention.

Apple as a religion: How the iPhone became divine

Rafael 1
Pint

"they invented the Graphical User Interface"

I don't care -- I also don't care about who invented the mouse, the wheel or the pizza. I just use them.

Google versus Facebook: stop your photocopiers

Rafael 1
Boffin

I declare...

... this "the desktop is dead and the web is the future" to be the 2010's version of the 1950's "we will have robots and flying cars and weekends on the moon".

Loud sex ASBO woman spared jail again

Rafael 1
Megaphone

Don't.

There are still many vuvuzelas on the loose, El Reg may be tempted to use some on the soundtrack.

Also, the lady in question is 49. Nothing against the age and the sex, but that isn't something I'd want to see.

Iomega Prestige Portable 1TB

Rafael 1
Headmaster

I was about to write the same comment...

... in a different way:

Ugh. Colorful but pointless graphics. Edward Tufte'll get you while you're sleeping.

Google heats up native code for Chrome OS

Rafael 1
FAIL

"Soon you will have 100Mbit Internet in your home."

I've heard that one before -- circa 2000, if I am not wrong.

F*ck you, thunders disgruntled fanboi Apple user

Rafael 1
Dead Vulture

Come on...

Who is really, truly obsessed by Macs, iPads and iPhones, and can't talk about anything else? Regtards, of course.

I am surprised we don't see more "news" like:

"New botnet discovered -- by a AV researcher who, when asked, said the iPad is cool"

"Naomi chucks another phone at a servant... if it was as heavy as an iPhone it would really hurt"

"Watch out for the next Microsoft's Patch Tuesday -- iPhone upgrades not included"

"Obama says Nasa will go again to the moon... which is orbiting the Earth... which contains several million iPhones."

"Several UK voters used their iPhones before voting -- what does it mean?"

Steve Jobs bans all apps from iPhone (or thereabouts)

Rafael 1
FAIL

Ho hum...

Yet another "stop doing what Steve Jobs says and do as I say" visionary.

Apple backs down from Pulitzer putsch

Rafael 1
Happy

Yeah, right.

"We can only hope that Apple has learned a lesson about freedom of expression - but, to be frank, no breath is being held here at Vulture Central."

Heh, I bet you like Apple just the way it is -- much easier to write about it this way, right?

Adobe man to Apple: 'Go screw yourself'

Rafael 1
FAIL

"Consumers should react !"

<sarcasm>Yeah, they should stop doing what Steve Jobs tell them to and start listening to YOU!</sarcasm>

---------------

"A democracy is when I order you around. A dictatorship is when you order me around. -- Millor Fernandes"

Nicole Richie turns Twitter hacker on celeb chums

Rafael 1
Unhappy

"Several million followers of these accounts"

There is no god.

Apple uncloaks deep details of its 11 iPad apps

Rafael 1
FAIL

"So WTF is the point of this piece of kit. Only a retard would buy this"

Read as "I don't want one and I don't want you to have one either".

Is iFlorist the greatest website in the universe, ever?

Rafael 1
Happy

Why not...

... order some flowers for the lovely Ms. Bee? Then we can be sure of the quality of their service.

Steve Jobs spotted not hating Eric Schmidt

Rafael 1
WTF?

Yeah, right.

Just two guys chilling out, drinking some coffee (is it a tall glass of something on Steve's side? And it seems he have TWO cups of crapuccino or whatever he's drinking), without several bodyguards and no bystanders/patrons gawking in awe or asking money or throwing pies. All in a low-resolution, blurred photo.

And I am quite sure I see Elvis on the reflection of one of the glass windows.

'Switch to Century Gothic to save the planet'

Rafael 1
Thumb Up

Good idea!

"So if you really must print something, do it in 6pt and buy a magnifying glass..."

... and go read it on a very sunny place. Yes, with the sun at your back. Notice the very bright point of light on the paper? Is it too bright? Douse the paper in gasoline and it will disappear.

Patchy Windows patching leaves users insecure

Rafael 1
WTF?

"75 patches from 22 different vendors"

PANIC! PANIC NOW! THEN BUY OUR SOFTWARE! OR ELSE!!11!

So the average user has software from 22 vendors? Let's see what I have on one Windows machine: stuff from Microsoft itself, damn blasted Free AVG, Firefox, Acrobat Reader, Java, Eclipse, what else? Am I missing something? Will I attract more girls if I install more software on this machine? Will I lose that promotion if my boss discover I have software from <10 vendors? Is that what you mean by "leaving the user insecure"?

Sorry, it's Sunday morning and I'd better go back to bed.

Extreme pr0n suspect has his internet access suspended

Rafael 1
Paris Hilton

She-ra

?? Without the quotes, check the first hit.

http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/79320/detail/

Toys depicting fictional characters which we may assume are not underage -- is it a crime?

Rafael 1
Happy

Here's what to do

....."possessed images which explicitly and realistically portrayed an act which "resulted, or was likely to result in serious injury" to a person's breasts and genitals,"....

Google "Robot Chicken She-Ra TPM" (great subject for a SPAM message!). Watch the video. Now please go to jail.

Stubborn trojan stashes install file in Windows help

Rafael 1
Thumb Up

1%?

Just out of curiosity, what's on that 1%?

'Doctor Dark Energy': The Ultimate LHC eccentric?

Rafael 1
Happy

It's worse than that!

Sometimes I see equations with an 'y', and in an ancient Russian book of Physics there was an equation with a 'z'. We're doomed! DOOMED I SAY!

Apple seeks OS-jacking advert patent

Rafael 1
FAIL

Almost cool!

If only they could integrate it with an iAnalProbe that delivers high-voltage shocks if you dismiss the ads!

Brazilian Playboy eyes miniskirted uni student

Rafael 1

Quick!

Act surprised!

Google 'experiment' crossbreeds Python with C++

Rafael 1
Grenade

@Just what we need

LEARN GO IN 21 DAYS

PROFESSIONAL GO

GO FOR DUMMIES

LEARN GO IN 24 HOURS

SECRETS OF THE GO MASTER PROGRAMMERS

THINKING IN GO

KILLER GO

LEARN GO IN 7 DAYS

ADVANCED GO

GO IN A NUTSHELL

GO HOW TO PROGRAM

GO GO GOOGLE GADGET INTEGRATOR!*

Yes, I am shouting. I'm also very glad I don't teach CS1 anymore so I won't have to hear students saying "but C++/Java/C#/C/Pascal/Whatever is dead, why don't you teach us Go?"

*Actually this last one sounds cool.

Next generation spammers rise up in Asia, India and Brazil

Rafael 1
FAIL

How many percent...

...correspond to those incredibly stupid "Hi, we're your webmail company and we need you to send us your name, e-mail and password to reactivate your account" idiots? Three just today.

Data-gobbling, dollar-munching iPhone bug unearthed

Rafael 1

HP

"avada Safari"... isn't that the course Voldemort used to empty Harry's bank account?

Got to stop drinking before 8am.

Shuttleworth stretches Ubuntu from netbooks to heavens

Rafael 1
Troll

@Sid D

"I think Ubuntu's focus should be to work with Sun and significantly improve their productivity suite or for MS Office to ship on Linux (and not thru Wine which has mixed success)."

MS Office to ship on Linux? Heh.

Facebook enshrines dead people profiles

Rafael 1
Flame

..."to that big social network in the sky"

Blargh, are there social networks in heaven? Hell looks more and more interesting (not that I have a choice)...

Montblanc punts £14k Mahatma Gandhi pen

Rafael 1
Go

Why not a...

Jesus Assault Rifle?

Buddha Beer?

Google fits web with meta comments engine

Rafael 1
WTF?

Web 2.5?

"What if everyone, from a local expert to a renowned doctor, had an easy way of sharing their insights with you about any page on the web?"

He could use something called "e-mail".

I wonder whether the "insights" any moron could add will be anonymous, and how long would it take to be filled with spam.

Brain-jacking fungus turns living victims into 'zombies'

Rafael 1
Happy

@if God designed something like that

> "if God designed something like that, then why would he bother, it's gross and ickky and pointless."

My god would do it just for the kicks.

> "If there is a God he was possibly smoking something dodgy when he thought that one up"

Yup, that's him, all right.

Amazon sued for cracks in Kindle

Rafael 1
Coffee/keyboard

@Tom Maddox

Brilliant!

Dutch clotheshorse menaces plastic surgeon

Rafael 1
Coffee/keyboard

@Grace Jones

Sorry, just an excuse to use this icon.

And what's this "Rafael 1" crap?

Microsoft fans call for Opera boycott

Rafael 1
Go

Awww......

.... how cute. All we need now is a "leave Microsoft alone, hasn't it suffered enough?" video on Youtube

Boffins: Bebo interstellar spam aliens don't exist after all

Rafael 1
Go

List of English words

Is "spamgasm" on it yet? spamgasm spamgasm spamgasm spamgasm spamgasm

I'm doing my part.

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