* Posts by Chris Tierney

96 posts • joined 11 Jun 2009


'AI is not the cause, it’s an accelerant. The pace of change is challenging' Experts give Congress deepfakes straight dope

Chris Tierney

Jumbled mess

Tidy it up.

How's this for sci-fi: A cosmic river of 4,000 stars dazzles lifeforms as it flows through a galaxy. And that galaxy is the Milky Way

Chris Tierney

Tourist route

Likely doing a flyby to observe the chaos that is life on earth. Not too close though as we are bad news to get caught up with.

London's Gatwick airport suspends all flights after 'multiple' reports of drones

Chris Tierney

Something doesn't fly right with this story

Especially if reports are to be believed and it was raining heavily. Most consumer drones will struggle to fly in rain and operator control using fpv alone would be impossible unless the drone had wipers over the camera. I'm wondering if this is all type?

Chinese biz baron wants to shove his artificial moon where the sun doesn't shine – literally

Chris Tierney

Re: The silver lining

I reckon they could rent out the nightlight to other parts of the world on cloudy days which may help recoup some of the investment.

Thunderstruck: Azure Back in Black(out) after High Voltage causes Flick of the Switch

Chris Tierney

Title should be

Real cloud strikes fake cloud.

Florida Man laundered money for Reveton ransomware. Then Microsoft hired him

Chris Tierney

Lost it

He would probably earned more money from Microsoft's criminal activities if he'd only waited.

Tesla fingers former Gigafactory hand as alleged blueprint-leaking sabotage mastermind

Chris Tierney

Computer forensics

If this plaintiff is half as smart with I.T. as they say he is then surely they already know that any incriminating evidence is already gone and has been replaced with deep fakes of Elin Musk pole dancing with a Falcon 9 stage 1.

Tesla undecimates its workforce but Elon insists everything's absolutely fine

Chris Tierney

Re: Undecimate?

This thread is way off on a tangent.

HostingUK drops offline after losing Farmer vs Fibre competition

Chris Tierney


"there is a 5" (five inch) micro trench that is approximately 2 meters in depth, that has been dug across a field our fiber traverses." Is there a competitor laying their own fiber like AWS?

Who will fix our Internal Banking Mess? TSB hires IBM amid online banking woes

Chris Tierney

Excellent attitude. Demonstrates absolute trust in your team and for that they'll likely work harder for you to make sure it all works.

Chris Tierney

This CIO job was posted 13 hours ago


I guess Carlos Abarca is looking for someone a bit more local.

The tech you're reading these words on – you have two Dundee uni boffins to thank for that

Chris Tierney

Re: Wonderful.

In summary, the publication of their paper prior to the application made it easy for the competition to be first out the gate with the application.

I think this court case may shed some light on it.


SpaceX's Falcon 9 poised to fling 350kg planet-sniffing satellite into Earth orbit

Chris Tierney

Launch Window - gravity assist, minimal...( delta V, lunar resonant & data transfer window )

If my calculations are correct (using Kerbal Space Program) then the rocket scientists who came up with this orbit deserves a pint or gin. In pool parlance this is the equivalent of calculating how to pot the black from break everytime and having the cue ball roll back to the spot.

Boeing CEO takes aim at Musk’s Starman-in-a-Tesla stunt

Chris Tierney


I grew up watching Thunderbird 3 land vertically thinking how cool and idea it was and it simply sparked my imagination as a child. However I grew up and that spark got slowly extinguished that no-one had yet managed this outside of tethered test rockets. Elon Musk with his double booster landing and every other falcon 9 first stage landing has made me realise once again that anything is possible and I should never give up on the imagination of him and people like him. The spark is back and I'm off to watch some Thunderbird 3 err I mean falcon 9 first stage landings on YouTube.

El Reg needs you – to help build an automated beer-transporting robot

Chris Tierney

Special Projects

I'll build you this robot when you complete the LOHAN project I was following closely.

NSA boss: Trump won't pull trigger for Russia election hack retaliation

Chris Tierney


So what he is suggesting is that Russia somehow fooled the U.S. population over a long period and managed to manipulate this false information and hence put a Russian sympathetic president in the White House? Surely there is a domestic solution to that problem? I like to think I can filter out the fake news from the real news quiet quickly but even then I'm being biased.

Dinosaurs gathered at NASA Goddard site for fatal feeding frenzy

Chris Tierney

Re: My eyes are the age of that slab...

here you go


H-1B visa hopefuls, green card holders are feeling the wrath of 'America first' Trump

Chris Tierney

Re: But the good doctor hasn't been keeping his nose clean!

So many questions. But one sticks out...how did you get your car to and from the U.S? Is there a ferry?

Sysadmin tells user CSI-style password guessing never w– wait WTF?! It's 'PASSWORD1'!

Chris Tierney

Re: "They looked for the password on the CD . . ."

@David123 I suspect your perfect Thumbs up score on this comment will end around 12:30pm BST

How alien civilizations deal with climate is a measure of how smart they are. Just sayin'...

Chris Tierney

Wrong tense used here.

We used to be a Class V planet now were just a Class IV who is merrily on our way to becoming a Class II skipping a whole Class III bit. Sound about right?

Hackers able to turbo-charge DJI drones way beyond what's legal

Chris Tierney

DJI can't police this.

DJI aren't the only route to drone ownership and at least should be commended for having a stab at drone safety restrictions for the uninformed masses.

If you really want some high altitude footage then invest in some helium, weather balloons and learn how to submit a Notam.

SpaceX nails two launches and barge landings in one weekend

Chris Tierney

Doesn't compare.

My newborn son managed to land a stream of pee onto my shirt while I changed his nappy this morning. Your move Musk.

PC rebooted every time user flushed the toilet

Chris Tierney

Cattery equipment failure

Once went to a cattery to repair a borked PC, I opened the side cover and found a mound of dust housing at least 4 small rodents (mice?)

Zuckerberg's absolutely mental: Brain sensors that read YOUR MIND at 100 words a minute

Chris Tierney


How long before DHS asks you to wear one of these going into and out of America?

Feel guilty for scoffing Easter chocolate? Good news: Scientists have made NEGATIVE mass

Chris Tierney

Re: Pushing back


DNA-bothering eggheads brew beer you were literally born to like

Chris Tierney

Clearly a load of bollocks.

As an occasional social drinker since the age of 14...errr I mean 18 I can testify the my taste in beer changes with time. As does that of my friends. It's unlikely I'll ever enjoy too much of the same beer all the time. Now where's that Giunness

RAF pilot sent jet into 4,000ft plummet by playing with camera, court martial hears

Chris Tierney

Career as a photographer?

Boffins turn timid mice into psycho killers – by firing lasers into brains

Chris Tierney


Once again Dr Evil proves he was way ahead of us.

Stupid law of the week: South Carolina wants anti-porno chips in PCs that cost $20 to disable

Chris Tierney

Land of the free and home of the brave

There's nothing brave or free by gluing blinkers to your citizens heads. Maybe they should start "heading"off their children by some intellectual discussion and robust education.

LinkedIn's training arm resets 55,000 members' passwords, warns 9.5m

Chris Tierney

Cyber security courses

They have some good cyber security courses available.

'Public Wi-Fi' gang fail in cunning plan to hide £10m cigarette tax fraud

Chris Tierney


These chaps must have missed the Edward Snowdon news articles.

One-way Martian ticket: Pick passengers for Musk's first Mars pioneer squad

Chris Tierney

Send Trump?

We would probably end up with a great big bloody wall on Mars before he gives up and returns to Earth. However given that he doesn't pay income tax then his absence might be good for the global economy.

Disney rollercoaster helps pop out kidney stones

Chris Tierney

health Hazards

Do not ride

During Pregnancy

If you've have Heart, back, or neck trouble

High blood pressure

Casts or braces that restrict movement or may interfere with the ride's restraint systems

Motion sickness or inner ear infections


Excessive height or other body proportions that could interfere with safety restraints

Bodily control issues that may prevent a rider from properly bracing themselves within the ride unit

Do ride

If you suffer from Kidney Stones

FAA powers up an invisible hand, groping the skies for rule-busting biz drones

Chris Tierney

Burj Kalif

So it's ok for me to fly over 400 in Kansas as long as I claim I was trying to film the burj kalifa in Dubai, and I'm assuming the earth is flat?

Did mock cop bot trot on fraught tot? Maybe not

Chris Tierney

Crush! Kill! Destroy!

Err...I mean Stop!

Apple will be grilled by Irish National Planning Board over €850m data centre plan

Chris Tierney

We will call it

Operation Apple Tree

Scottish MP calls for drone-busting eagles

Chris Tierney

National Security Threat?

Surely a determined national security threat could design something that would ruin the first bird that came into contact with it. We need a mechanical way of bringing down dangerous drones and maybe at the same time re-deploy the eagles to hunt down the operator and claw their eyes out?

Alternatively they could provide the eagles with steel nets that could be 'dropped' onto a drone of any current size and bring it down without harm to the bird.(possibly a risk to anyone underneath but you can't win em all)

The left field idea would be to fit Air to Air missiles to the birds and maybe a go pro to monetize drone destruction.

Apply online to go to Mars. No, seriously

Chris Tierney

Re: Astronaut application

Must be a really keen potato farmer. See Icon

Enraged Brits demand Donald Trump UK ban

Chris Tierney

"Border Guards to ask the Muslim question at point of entry"

That'll stop the terrorists.

Boffins could tune telescopes to listen to lasers on Mars

Chris Tierney

Struggling with BT

Here I am shouting my ass off at bt and virgin to provide me with a faster dl than 3mbps for 5 years now and meanwhile a moving target millions of miles away is about to get a faster uplink than me. This isn't fair I've much more interesting things to stream.

Your taxes at work: Three hours driving to turn on politician's PC

Chris Tierney

Re: Colour blind


There might be a cure for you depending on the type of colour blindness that affects you.

Take a look


Ahmed's clock wasn't a bomb, but it blew up the 'net and Zuckerberg, Obama want to meet him

Chris Tierney

Plug in bomb

From the released photo it looks like it has a power cord and a mains transformer attached. Last time I heard of anyone making a bomb I'm sure they didn't need to plug it in first.

Jeremy Corbyn wins Labour leadership election

Chris Tierney

Re: Interesting times

As you have proven sir, the most popular people are those who sit on the fence! :)

Crazy Chrysler security hole: USB stick fix incoming for 1.4 million cars

Chris Tierney

USB sticks in the post

Hello Chrysler owner,

I noticed your shiny car in the drive and thought I'd send you a usb stick with the fix.

Please ignore the other USB stick as we sent you this in error.

Yours Truly


DOLPHINS SMELL MAGNETS – did we hear that right, boffins?

Chris Tierney

Whats that flipper?

G'day flip, your picking up a surge in solar geomagnetic activity that might launch a CME towards earth that will wipe out all television and internet news except for the BBC news because nothing in this universe can halt their B.S?

Scottish independence: Will it really TEAR the HEART from IT firms?

Chris Tierney

Registered office.

I'm sorry but the other media outlets appear to be reporting that the banks would only "consider" moving their "registered" offices leaving scottish jobs intact. Why does El-Reg have a different slant to this?

The police are WRONG: Watching YouTube videos is NOT illegal

Chris Tierney


Perhaps the Met were just using the Booleen method. False OR True = True

Scottish independence debate: STV player flops under weight of viewers

Chris Tierney

The border

Ideally we should redraw the Scottish border around Downing Street and Westminster then poll for independence. I would love to see that become a separate state



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