Posts by Thomas 4

Facebook's CHAIR sat on by 1 billion people ... bitch

Re: Optional

Anyone can sit on a chair. That is why Facebook is ass.

From Dr No to Skyfall: The Reg's one month of Bond

Re: Surely that should be...

Hmmm...it's easier to evaluate them based on individual films rather than overall:

1) Daniel Craig in Casino Royale

2) Sean Connery in Goldfinger

3) Pierce Brosnan in Goldeneye

4) Roger Moore in Live And Let Die.

Rapper rips up Microsoft's Atlanta store during performance

Re: It was just his way of expressing his

Wait, Clippy has snuffed it?

YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Re: Incomprehensible

Some of Wu-Tang Clan's very early stuff is actually pretty decent and considerably better than the crap pumped out by Dre et al.

Samsung Galaxy Note 2 review

I'll bite...

"Quad core is overkill when few applications are massively multi-threaded, just optimise your OS or stop using hooky interpreted Java code."

Damn right AC, this processor is far too fast. Why the hell do we want fast processors in the latest iterations of smartphones and pads? We should have been happy with the 500Mhz processors we had back in the days of iPaq. Goddamn kids.

Oregon farmer devoured by own hogs

Re: "Register-Guard" eh?

Isn't it obvious? This is revenge for the bacon sandwich article.

Pastafarians: Get your noodly appendages off that Facebook suspect

Bitter diappointment

I swung by this protest for "Free Pastitsios" and came away hungry when there weren't any.

Guild Wars 2 game review

Hmmm

While the grind is lessened, certainly, it is still there. There's something like 80 or 90 levels to chew through and while the group quests make it easier, it does still boil down to the usual "kill & collect". That said, the tasks do feel more meaningful - gathering crops in a field, putting out fires after a town has been attacked & picking up items that you use yourself. Other nice touches like exploring for skill shrines and vistas are very welcome and unlike SW:TOR's datacrons, they are actually achievable for someone without twitch reflexes.

Happy birthday, Compact Disc

Re: time flies ...

Does anyone else feel absolutely fricking ancient right now? I remember going to college and my main method of listening to music was on tape! CDs I dallied with briefly but found them too much of pain lugging around everywhere. Minidisc felt like it might have been a solution and then I got my Rio MP3 player with a whopping 32Mb of storage on an MMC card....Goddamn kids and their 160Gb iPods.

Steve Jobs resurfaces in Hong Kong

Dr Who had it right.

It's going to be an Auton powered by iOS.

Also, bonus points to the first person to put an S3 in the model's hand and take a piccie.

AI game bot HUNTS DOWN ENEMIES, passes Turing Test

Re: But ....

Nope, but it's got teabagging down to a fine art now, and its vocabulary now encompasses every racial, sexual and grossly offensive slur known to humankind.

Portugal’s prosecutor punts P2P case

Sanity?!

On MY planet? What madness is this?!

Event Horizon Telescope spots source of black hole jets

Re: Event Horizon

Yeah, demons and possessed space ships are pretty scary but I wouldn't rate their chances against a force that gobbles up stars like mint Poppets.

WTF is... NFC

One thought does spring to mind

Oyster. That would be really handy to have as an NFC system. Granted, it wouldn't be a whole lot more faster than swiping with a card but it would save a lot of resources.

New I-hate-my-neighbour stickers to protect Brits' packages

Some commentard input

Well, if this thing does go ahead, as it looks like it will, what would you want your sticker to say?

"My neighbours have made a fortune on eBay. Please ensure that parcels addressed to me do not increase their wealth."

McFlurry McMisdemeanour costs Welsh lass McJob

Re: Extras

I feel she has excellent grounds for her appeal. She wasn't giving away food, she was giving away McDonalds.

Mighty quake shook ENTIRE PLANET, broke tectonic plate

Broken plates

Does this mean we'll have to pay for a new one? =(

Texas Instruments: Screw smartphones, put our chips in the dishwasher

Seems like a smart move

If you'll excuse the pun. Apple and Samsung, following their most recent bout, are going to be even more paranoid about their patents and anything they haven't produced themselves is a potential patent lawsuit waiting to happen. The whole smartphone market is toxic at the moment and now seems like a good time to get the hell out. Or at the very least, until a more sensible method of dealing with patents and disputes is brought in.

Vandals break into congressman's office, install Linux on PCs

If only Batman had been there.

He'd have been able to stop the Penguin.

NZ bloke gets eel stuck up jacksie

Re: Well done

Actually, yes, I think I can see an IT angle to this story.

Think about it - every day across the world, all manner of things are inserted into assholes, from conveniently shaped bodily organs, to pens, to animals. What we need to do is design a future accessory port for computers modelled on the human asshole. We'd never have compatibility issues again!

Brave copper single-handedly chases 'suspicious' Moon

What does he have to be ashamed about?

He wasn't slapping cuffs on some pre-pubescent lad on the sauce or sitting in the office doing paperwork - he was trying to *arrest the fucking MOON*. If you're going to nick someone, think big!

40 Foxconn staff hospitalised after CAMPUS RIOT

Re: Money

Hey, you're right. I've managed to log onto All Evil's server and I'm now screwing with their admin rights. =P

We thank our employees for bringing these issues to light...

...and their next of kin have already been informed.

Ig Nobels 2012: Physics of ponytails, chimp arse-cognition and more

Re: Proud!!

Isn't science fantastic?

Apple's brilliant plan to fix iOS Maps: Get YOU to do it

Pedant alert

"We appreciate all of the customer feedback and are working hard to make the customer experience even better."

Well it can't exactly make it worse. >.>

BlackBerry network goes titsup inopportunely AGAIN

Huh

I haven't received any messages about this and I've been checking my 9360 all day. >.>

LONDON iPHONE 5 MADNESS: 'You must be CRAZY to buy Apple'

Oo

I am creeped out and slightly scared now. This is not normal behaviour.

Single NFC bonk subjugated Samsung Galaxy SIII and slurped it out

And this folks

Is why we don't bonk random strangers.

The Jupiter Ace: 40 years on

@david

Don't be too downhearted for the 6502 will actually make a comeback in the distant future, serving as the CPU of Bending units.

(It's in the episode of Futurama where Fry is looking inside cans of Slurm with an X-Ray. He shines it on Bender's head and clear as day, there's a 6502 chip in there. I always wondered about the reference.)

Taiwan's civil servants caught by sexy email trap

Re: "Those who clicked on the message will be forced to sit through................

Yes, I do have one suggestion. Make speakers a mandatory requirement for all PCs. Then the next time someone clicks on a link for high quality adult relaxation therapy, trigger a macro that cranks the PC volume to full and then disables the mute function.

Works very well in cubical office environments.

After all

You can't spell "internet security course" without intercourse.

Mars rover Curiosity gets ready to blast its first rock

Re: But...

That last paragraph brought to mind the most wonderful mental image of the sands of Mars being affected like tides.

Who queues for an iPhone 5? Protesters, hipsters and the jobless

I love gadget queues!

I sell them teas and coffees and then charge them 5 quid to use the portaloo when the laxatives take effect.

Ballmer: Win8 'certainly surpasses' Win95 in importance

Re: "Not a chance, too many businesses require Windows software."

Deep in a forgotten basement at the headquarters of a major IT company, there is endless darkness, lit by the glow of a single CRT display. A...creature...sits at a desk, typing away on a rubberised keyboard, the letters of which have long been worn away. He is not lonely, for there is always work to do. A bug fix here, a new application there. He pauses and sniffs the air. Something has changed, up there in the Daylightworld. A Great Power has become weakened, a result of one style-over-substance decision too many. He cackles. The time is ripe once again.

Across the world, people have nightmares about an endless line of 3.5 inch floppy disks and thick, snake like tentacles comprised of storage tape. At Linux conferences, very, very small groups of individuals don the sacred robe and chant the name of their master, as he rises to snatch the computers of the world from the weakened grip of Redmond.

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh OS/2 Warp Armonk wgah'nagl fhtagn.

Yahoo! ditches! BlackBerry! for! 'smart! fun!' phones!

Seriously?

They make billions in revenue each year but they can't afford a decent editor or news team for their home page?

Reg hack uncovers perfect antidote to internet

Re: Amateurs

For an amatuer effort, I thought it was very well done.

Post-pub nosh deathmatch prompts paprika potato pierogi

Re: Suggestions for a 3-way...

Another Swedish dish suggestion could be the Flying Jacob. I just like it because it has a cool name. =P

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

Hey

Listen!

Mars probably never wet enough for life, nuclear bomb crater indicates

Well....

I'm no astrophysicist, so I don't know if this is actually feasible, but would it be possible to land a rover at one of the polar caps? That way we can easily discover whether water is still present on Mars and if there is microbial life, wouldn't there be traces in the water?

Airbus predicts catapult takeoffs and formation flying by 2050

Re: Lifecycle cost?

My main thought is that aircraft guzzle a hell of a lot of fuel and there's a lot of them. How exactly do you generate that much biofuel to keep the world's aircraft supplied every day? I'm not saying that standard fuel is the best solution but the sheer logisitics and quantities involved with biofuel makes me skeptical.

Listen up, Nokia: Get Lumia show-offs in pubs or it's game over

Well....

I don't know if the Lumias are going to be enough to give Windows 8 Phone its presence but it would be really nice to have 3 active OS ecosystems to choose from instead of just Apple vs Android. Slightly tempted here - might have a look in February when it's time to renew my contract. By then, hopefully any big snafus will have been ironed out.

Boffins computerize giant cyborg cockroaches

@AC

There's something wonderfully philosophical about that if you applied it to human existance.

Assange movie debuts this weekend

Re: Spoiler alert

Meh, sounds kinda dull to me. The hero comes off as a right Mary Sue. Might want to work on that.

Wales: We'll encrypt Wikipedia if reborn gov net-snoop plan goes live

Re: Soooo...

Come now AC, our government has a proven track record in managing important data securely and safely.

It's just a shame that it's not a good one.

The world's first Windows Phone 8 hands on – what's it like?

A request

Is there any chance we could have an in depth comparison of the differences between Windows 7 and Windows 8? Or are there not really any major changes?

China and Japan face off over Pacific Ocean rare earth rights

Fhtagn

I live in hope that one day our deep sea overlords will rise up and devour all of them in a chaotic maelstrom of tentacles and insanity.

'Immortal cancer' found in Australia

Re: It's somewhat sad...

Besides, if you've seen a piccie of a Devil without a tumour on it's face, that's pretty much "d'awwww" as well. With sharp bitey teeth.

Global strategic maple syrup reserves hit in Canadian mega-heist

Re: You what?

How the fuck do you steal *five thousand tons* of maple syrup? You'd think someone would notice the fleet of tankers being driven by guys in balaclavas? Actually scratch that, how the fuck do you *fence* [five thousand tons of maple syrup without anyone being any the wiser?

Reality is really bad for my brain at times. X_x