* Posts by Pete 8

164 publicly visible posts • joined 11 Jun 2009

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Doing the maths on Copenhagen

Pete 8
Grenade

@scott

I concur - utter bollocks.

Jail them all.

BBC looks to grab internet TV market

Pete 8
Megaphone

Aliens are coming!

The Gummint known the aliens are coming, so they are preparing to propagandise all content so that the aliens can have their hearts and minds turned to mush like the humans. Its a cuntspiracy.

IBM builds Pacific ring of cloud

Pete 8

Much Faster

Crashes for the airline booking systems perhaps?

Surgery fools Japan's fingerprint checks

Pete 8
Paris Hilton

So it

would really fuck them up if someone swaps an eye onto their finger and vice-versa.

Perhaps do a swap between buttflaps and face?

Paris deserves a mention, but I would rather have a real woman than a model.

Serial slurry fetish man jailed again

Pete 8
Troll

This guy

should never have been voted in.

Won't somebody think of the children?

Kent Police exceeded powers in too-tall photographer case

Pete 8

Who farted

Lets see with this Govt std issue butt-sniffer.

iPhone developer hires worm author

Pete 8
Paris Hilton

Clueless

has been humping too many police chief's legs...

Rickrolling should be legal for exposing faults in our electronic deities..

Had I writ it it would have perhaps been.

Paris

Eat frozen food and avoid line-caught fish, says eco study

Pete 8
Troll

Food Police

Have just issued a Red Herring.

Win 7 remote kernel crasher code released

Pete 8
Coat

VoodooTrucker - those specs

would be fairly close to a P2P system?

mines the one with chuddy in the pocket.

Docs press for probe into 'designer vaginas'

Pete 8
Coat

Zango Gash for Cash!

WE WILL PAY YOU CASH - YES CASH !!!

HOST OUR DESIGNER PRODUCT PROUDLY BEARING THE LOGO®,

AND WE WILL PAY YOU FOR EVERY...

Mines the one with the govt brochure in the pocket.

UK.gov denies innocent will be hit by filesharing regime

Pete 8
Troll

So

As a sysadmin, if a user get snapped... am I complicit? what is the test for this?

A hidden SSID

A wep key?

WPA key?

WPA2

Will Techs need to be 'vetted' to setup connections soon?

Goblins!

Animal lovers say no to radioactive NASA monkeys

Pete 8
Thumb Down

Creepy?

Sell them afterwards as "Glow in the dark Monkeys" for afterhours Gummint positions, or use as employees in unlit underground call-centres.

HP plans a trillion-sensor global stethoscope

Pete 8

Oh no

old mrs davis has gas again.

Bug in latest Linux gives untrusted users root access

Pete 8
Troll

Ewww

Very nasty indeed.

Luckily for most, Windows® doesnt have that 'feature'.

I have a mate who will already be pissing blood over this - hahaha you hippie, thats what you get for going to uni!

Cupcake anyone, while we watch the Trolls and Fanbois over-react?

State attorney nabbed in car with stripper, Viagra and sex toys

Pete 8
Go

Is there a law

in that State that says you can't eat your grannys pie if your sister is your ma/granny too?

The Register Downloads channel is live and kicking!

Pete 8
Go

Yeah Limewire

How else could those, ahem, reports get 'leaked'.

Have a nice day!

Watford council punts parents from playground

Pete 8
Megaphone

Prediction

In a couple of years they will print an article at the bottom of page 58 of the paper that

"The CRB has 3 times the number of pedos as the national average."

Go figure.... if you were a drooliing pedo you would make it your business to get 'vetted'.

Should be spayed instead.

Big brother is watching the children - now we know they arent safe.

Google: Eugenics

Virginia corrections officers on 'dog fondling' rap

Pete 8
Coat

If it were

a non-copper - this would have received different treatment, none of this namby pampy crap.

Production of animal porn - highly objectionable material, doubtlessly commiting:

DMCA OFFENCES!

Dog Masturbatory Camera Acts

MINES THE ONE WITH NO DOG-JIZZ IN THE POCKET.

El Reg receives message from planet 'Female Pigeon'

Pete 8
Pint

I want to name all

the planets and stars in the rude-persons galaxy.

Tee Hee.

Security boss calls for end to net anonymity

Pete 8

...is a Globalist Idiot

Eugene = Eugenicist perhaps

Google "Eugenics"

hmm

"Google Eugenics"

Mr K & friends want you RFID chipped.

Have a nice day.

DARPA, Microsoft, Lockheed team up to reinvent TCP/IP

Pete 8
Coat

They need

Microsoft® to harness the distributed computing power of all PCs so they can defend & attack.

With 70-80% of CPUs on the interweb by the short & curlies, SKYNET will have dominance and be near impossible to shutdown without doing that freaky green digital rush thing like cousin Neo.

Mines the one with the EMP in the pocket.

Zeppelin-borne boffins in Bay Area alien 'extremophile' hunt

Pete 8
Troll

Distributed Bong Software

Searches for seeds, relays them back to motherships server core, collates it all in one toke.

Got any chocolate?

Hey how did I get to this site?

'Amateur' IBM brings down Air New Zealand

Pete 8
Happy

I recall a slogan...

NOBODY EVER GOT FIRED FOR CHOOSING IBM.

HIVE A NOICE DAE

Yank slams El Reg 'zio-fruitcake' Playmobil 'crap'

Pete 8
Happy

Close relations

mum=sister

uncle=brother

(Former) IT consultant confesses to SCADA tampering

Pete 8
Paris Hilton

S.C.A.D.A.

Skinny Contrived Aristicratic Dolly Automaton

Microsoft apes Google with chillerless* data center

Pete 8
Pint

RotM

When data centres using AI become fully aware they will crack a cold one and reduce cycles.

Meatsacks will still be required for recreational purposes only.

Geordi LaForge video-to-brain rig built at MIT

Pete 8
Coat

RotM

iPhone connector socket could be wedged onto the end of the optic nerve using sputtered beer solution in a social vacuum, then the user could not only see >1Mpx, jerky video, but also be able to hum a tune for 99c, navigate and select things by shaking and flicking head and...

<Blink here to download>

Add a new meaning to carrier "tethering'.

RotM: a cyborg wearing some cute meat accessories is still a cyborg!

Mines the one with the "ThoughtStore" url in the pocket.

Microsoft Live Messenger in worldwide hiccup

Pete 8
Paris Hilton

We are

just having a look at your contact lists you can have them back in a mo - k?

Paris - no reason really.

US Spec Ops operates psywar websites targeted at UK

Pete 8
Megaphone

It isnt working...

I still think the war on terror is a pack of lies.

Trial set for 'botnet for hire' duo

Pete 8
Joke

I donated US$22000

to their legal defence fund, as requested in their email.

I do hope they - (ahem) - 'appreciate' it.

British troops get nifty techno-gunsights

Pete 8
Paris Hilton

Snot

Fair, is it guv, all we got is these here rubber band powered slings, with ping pong balls for projectile.

I want one of those scopes to get a closer look at Paris.

A day in the life of an email manager

Pete 8
Happy

Trip Trap Trip Trap...

mSexChange s fscking great, just watch your space & i/o limits,

Dont believe these trollolololols who havent opened Exchange since 199x.

I have spent $0.00 on tools to fix or tweak it.

With SBS it is almost free, along with 5 outlook licenses.

I run 20+ of them and spend less than 40 hours a year maintaining it.

I spend over 100 hours a year (on behalf of 200+ users) talking to ISP drones fronting for operators of other larger email systems, and have noticed a standard 'user=meatsack' approach by such operators.

It is so much easier to have a standardised, fully transferrable system to offer a friendly personal brand of service.

Cupcake anyone?

Have a great day all :)

Explorers unearth cat-sized rat

Pete 8
Go

And...

I thought this was a political article.

Man remanded for extreme porn offences

Pete 8
Coat

So lock up the town...

Judge

Mayor

Lawyer

Puhlease cheif

school headmaster

county engineer

uni lecturer

business owners

from the lodge, who do unspeakable things to goats, in rooms with no usable windows.

All for the common good ay chaps.

The one wiith the secret handshake in the pocket.

Month of Facebook flaws gets underway

Pete 8

I just

picked my nose and ate it, and thought that I should tell the world + dog.

Bletchley Park to restore 112-byte* '50s Brit nuke computer

Pete 8
Welcome

When I was a lad

We had to use painted rocks for the storage media.

And they were damn heavy too.

Kids these days I dont know.

How much of the EU's data will the UK lose?

Pete 8
FAIL

The Acronym should be...

STALK - which is what creepy cretin control freaks with serious boundary issues do.

FAIL - by breaching the social contract.

Have a nice day all :)

Fed chairman hit by ID thieves

Pete 8
Thumb Up

But

Surely a member of the Illuminati is 'protected' from this sort of thing.

It must be just a psyops ar-tickle.

German state election exit polls leaked on Twitter

Pete 8
Troll

A Business idea for Twitter®

Print out all tweets onto a soft 2-ply tissue, roll it up like a scroll on a tubular inner and sell in packs of 4/6/8, so people can wipe themselves and flush.

This would allow for:

- promotion of the company,

- an actual use for the info,

- and an actual revenue stream!

I would call it "Twatroll, even the Pope visits the woods!"

Feds break Apple's code of App Store silence

Pete 8
Troll

Yer wot about

the poor guy who wrote the Chernobyl virus, his software got blocked too!

Internet Archive stares down Google book mine

Pete 8
Grenade

Cat spray & Pidgeon Poo

First monkey sticks twig into anthill and discovers the world's first confectionery.

Should the 2nd monkey pay intellectual property rort (fees) to feed his family too?

At what point do copyright holders take responsibility for holding us all back, or jeopardising our survival, for their arrogant clutching of ther initial advancements?

Codex Alimentarius for brunch anyone?.

Ants are great protein. Here try a line now:

..............................................................................

Tasty, plus they tickle!

Food for thought... Thinking is actually free despite being frowned upon.

Mass web infection pinned on hardened crime gang

Pete 8
Happy

When China

finally takes possession of America, will most malware come from those shores?

Haha just kidding :)

Doctor investigated for posting inkblots to Wikipedia

Pete 8
Paris Hilton

@asiaseen

I saw that, what you did just there.

Paris, cos if she issued a sentence it would be nicely corrupted too.

Bungling cybercops' r00t-y0u.org sting backfires

Pete 8
Thumb Up

Great big black

LOLcopters are whirling around the scene of the MASSIVE FAIL.

See what happens when the media cretins and the cops get too cosy with the goats down at the lodge.

A true pyramid of idiots.

Nearly a new ketboard.

Bug exposes eight years of Linux kernel

Pete 8
Thumb Up

So

I ran windows setup cd and it fixed it - look nicer too.

It has this cool browser called IE8 too.

Have a really great day!

Virus arms race primes malware numbers surge

Pete 8
Troll

But think

of the children who will be saved by the pandas.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww its so cute.

Increase in comms snooping? You ain't seen nothing yet

Pete 8
Joke

hmmmm

randomMailFooterAdd program, add chunks of random text from web and appends to the email, hidden or not.

Random pseudo-coded (garbage) images too would create a shitstorm of nice dud garbage steganoploppy. Just like the way the MPAA RIAA seed garbage content on torrent networks.

Tee hee.

TechLoLogy has so many uses

MoD website outflanked by XSS flaws

Pete 8
Happy

Uploading...

Peace_plan.doc

Just kidding :-)

Carry on fighting for whatever it was you were fighting for which has gone.

Government rubbishes ID card hack report

Pete 8
Thumb Down

ROTM

The alien machine-tards from Xenu that run the politician-tards cant just come out and tattoo us at birth with RFID chips, until they get people-tards completely used to being stopped and searched every hour, every where you go etc...

Ubiquitoius Security by insecurity.

Efficiency, govt style.

Sack them all... EMP anyone?

Head shop rolls out disk size roadmap

Pete 8
Paris Hilton

That will please

...the govt lepers who will need all that extra space for storing all our pr0n, phone calls, and twattery

Paris, because even though she is small form factor, she knows size is status.

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