Formula for Apple Envy
1) Dismiss all new Apple products as evil AND/OR over-priced AND/OR lacking functionality
2) Suggest Steve Jobs is the Devil Incarnate
3) State unequivocally that product X will fail
4) Grunt and moan about media hype generated by the Apple Marketing team (whose job it is to create marketing hype)
5) When sales figures show product X is doing well claim this is only fanbois and the rest of the world has sense.
6) When sales figures make is clear the rest of the world is buying product X, claim the world is full of idiots.
7) (My favourite) - Proclaim your business acumen and say something like "When will Steve Jobs learn x about y" yada yada yada. Because he clearly has no clue what he is doing and needs to be put right by your genius.
Oh and the golden rule. Make sure you always, and I mean ALWAYS make comments on articles written about product x. Even though you have no interest in product x,
(except you do, you really really do but you could never admit it)
Keep it in the closet boys. ;-)