Posts by nichomach

BOFH: I'll get my bonus even if it kills, well, someone

Erm...12?

Seriously...who's abducted an episode?

Boundaries Commission slammed over mega map dump

...because the only POSSIBLE format for presenting that data is one used by the US Geological Service, and there's no such thing as open-source GIS software. Aside from the fuckton or so listed at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_geographic_information_systems_software .

"I'm not interested in it...

....therefore nobody else should have it." Bravo. *slow handclap*.

British warming to NUKES after Fukushima meltdown

A good point well-made, especially in these fora - normally The Reg is highly sceptical of the "wisdom of crowds", their ongoing dismissal of Wikifiddlers being a prime example. Perhaps there's a little confirmation bias creeping in - crowd wisdom is fine as long as it's a crowd we agree with?

Parliament has no time for 100,000+ signature e-petitions

"We're replacing the petition website put in by the previous government that nobody paid any attention to with a redesigned one that nobody pays any attention to. Isn't that just lovely of us?"

Galaxy Tab remains illegal in Germany

Seriously? Smooth simple surfaces are banned unless you buy them with a fruit logo on? I look forward to mullioned windscreens and frosted cockpit canopies, as well as phones faced with glass splinters....

Hey Commentards! [This title is optional]

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!

*this post still requires a body, however*

Samsung unveils 20Mp EVIL shooter

True enough, but just looked at pricing...

...for their existing optional viewfinder, and at £150 it's a pricey omission.

I know I'm picky, but...

...is the the EVIL (electronic viewfinder, interchangeable lens) tag REALLY appropriate for a camera that doesn't come with, I don't know, an actual viewfinder? Seriously, though, like, it seems, a lot of other commenters, the lack of one is what puts me off a lot of these cameras. I've tried using LCD screens on cameras for framing shots and really, REALLY can't abide it, especially in sunlight.

Deus Ex: Human Revolution

But...

...I LIKED playing inventory tetris!

LG to demo mouse with diddy doc scanner

No word on pricing or availability *cough* ?

http://www.dabs.com/products/lg-electronics-lg-scanner-mouse--usb-2-7K12.html?q=scanner%20mouse

Do try to keep up...

PETA to launch .xxx smut site 'to help animals'

oooOOOoooo,,,

Nice downvote - truth smarts, eh?

I hold no brief for Gummer

But his daughter declined the burger (stating that she was full and that it was too hot) and the daughter of the family friend who died of vCJD wasn't involved in the incident at all. See http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article2641749.ece. It's always a very good idea to have a clue BEFORE you start jumping down other peoples' throats.

Apple changed shape of Galaxy Tab in court filing

Something else noticeable

is that the Tab's "Samsung" branding is removed from the photograph. Had that been left on, it would have demonstrated (as per the review shot on the left of the article) that the default view for the Tab is landscape. So, Apple have had to:

1. Mislead the court about the size and aspect ratio of the Tab

2. Mislead the court about the user interface of the Tab (and other Honeycomb devices)

3. Mislead the court about the default orientation and thus expected use of the device

...and after all that, the Reg still has the brass neck to post creepy spin like "More likely, however, is that Apple presented the image to show the similarities beyond the physical shape..." .

It bears repeating that Apple did not invent tablet computers. Nor did they invent tablet computers that display a grid of icons on the screen (hint: Google (I had to say it...) Motion Computing and many others). They didn't invent touchscreens, nor yet did they invent capacitative touchscreens. I don't object to their defending their legitimate IP. This is not that. This is an abuse of the legal process, and in light of this, blatantly dishonest abuse at that.

Google SHOCK! Snaps up Motorola phone biz for $12.5bn

Perhaps the Droid

...may have been a bit rough, but we have a few Defys in service and they're very popular, so they haven't been doing everything wrong.

US Air Force in a seriously stealthless state

I was a little puzzled...

...by the balanced and measured coverage on problems with US defence projects until I checked the byline; one assumes that problems with Lewis's oxygen supply have caused him to forget El Reg's office address/email address/fax number...? That's what you get for buying that overpriced American tat... *

*Note to US-ians; trolling LP, not you, OK?

Murdoch muscles BBC out of Formula One driving seat

Can we now have an evil Murdoch logo, please?

Seriously, this is absolutely bloody dire news and I can only assume that this inane Slater woman doesn't actually like sport (or certainly F1) that much. "Delighted" to lose half the rights? The stupid, smug, self-satisfied cow. "delivered significant savings"? Yes, by screwing the audience.

Ubisoft revisits Internet-at-all-times DRM

Good reportage of dick move

Well done for picking this up, boo to Ubi for not learning their lesson.

Feds investigate $17m of missing kit at CompUSA

17...million...dollars worth...

FFFFUUUUUUuuuuuuuu......

Apple ups Mac Mini spec, lowers price

Yeah...errr...

Someone copied and pasted a bit, didn't they? After telling us that the optical drives had been pulled from the desktop models, we read, of the server variant: "It has 4GB of memory and two 500GB 7200rpm hard drives, but lacks the optical drive found in the desktop models."..?

Nokia ‘giving away phones at cost’

Eh?

"It's a sign of how uncompetitive and undesirable Nokia's high-end offerings have become that the company practically has to give them away"

I think it's more a sign that no-one in their right mind is going to buy into a platform that Nokia are actively shitcanning. We have a fair few Nokia E-series smartphones in service and, peace be to our AC above, firstly, you haven't needed to download Mail for Exchange for some years now, since all the current E-class phones have had ActiveSync built-in, and secondly, it works well. I would probably buy more, except that I know there will be, effectively, no further development of the platform; the developers have gone, so there are unlikely to even be any bugfixes for the phones they're still selling. That doesn't mean that the phones are uncompetitive or undesirable (E7 and N8 are very nice), just that I can't feel comfortable buying a device that's effectively completely unsupported.

Samsung rolls out Galaxy Tab 10.1

Looks nice...

...but aren't they supposed to be doing an 8.9" as well, which I thought sounded more interesting?

MPs round on plans to offshore gov IT work

Ah...

"Balaclava Management"; "half a league, half a league, half a league onward..." - I knew I recognized the theory...

Ofcom ignores radio in annual report

£197m?

Wish I had a license to sell air and claim that I was generating income...

New tumor trial rules mobiles 'not guilty'

I liked...

""we have only up to 15 years of observation time of larger numbers of users – which is perhaps too short to see an effect, if there is any.""

The guy does irony well, doesn't he?

Lenovo ThinkPad Edge E420s 14in Core i5 laptop

And that, yer honour...

...is why I now but 15.6" machines with 1920x1080 screens. Still telly resolutions, but about as good as I can get at a reasonable price.

Well, with...

...right or left handed touchpads; why not? The touchpads are usually built into the plastic keyboard surround; it's not as though you'd have to move other stuff around to fit, or as if the actual part would be expensive. I've seen figures of about 1 in 10 being left handed, and I'm sure they buy laptops too. There's left-handed guitars, watches, scissors etc. Maybe shops wouldn't keep large stocks of southpaw laptops, but you could easily have them as a special order item.

True, but...

...at least you can shrink the Ribbon to a bar with just the text labels for each section.

NHS told: freeze all Microsoft spend

Errrr...

Did you not read the part where the NHS had an Enterprise Wide Agreement? Which they let lapse amid much fanfare of cost savings and the efficiency of local procurement?

Cameron backs public inquiry into NotW hacking claims

If I may summarise the PM's response...

Meaningless platitude

Meaningless platitude

Meaningless platitude

Kowtow to NI

Kowtow to NI

Rinse

Repeat

Good reportage of a crap response

BSkyB/News Corp merger: Wait for the cops, says Ofcom

Fantastic.

So they're going to proceed on the assumption that everything's hunky-dory and not even consider delaying the takeover unless and until the rozzers (because they've been SO reliable) decide that something untoward has happened. The bang you just heard was a stable door being determinedly and firmly closed after a finding that the horse had indeed bolted.

NotW accused of hacking Milly Dowler's voicemail

If, note IF...

...the actions of NotW, NI and that slag Brooks hampered the police investigation and allowed Bellfield to escape detection, then the truly horrific aspect is "Former bouncer Bellfield was previously convicted of murdering two other young women, Marsha McDonnell and Amelie Delagrange: both crimes happened in the two years after Dowler's murder.". Their actions may not just have interfered in the capture of a murderer, but freed that murderer to go on and kill two more people. As others have commented, people need to be jailed for this, and not just the lowly peons; Brooks and others of her ilk MUST have known what was being done, and they should be jailed also.

MS advises drastic measures to fight hellish Trojan

Next, John Leyden

exclusively covers the Olympic Torch virus.

Faking reviews? You should fret about more than illegality

Sir, you have my profoundest sympathy...

That is one SERIOUSLY creepy-looking ****er. Icon for this post's obvious when you think about it; a dash of silver facepaint and voila...

Oracle's Android claims slashed by US patent authorities

The words...

...."with Intel" were superfluous in that statement...

I have to admit, I liked...

..."Oracle wants to proceed to trial regardless of any further reexamination of the claims."; that seems to be saying something to the effect of "We want you to find Google guilty of violations of patents that may in fact not actually exist...". I can imagine the reaction of the average judge to that...

Google: Our rapid load won't give you anything nasty

Another reason...

....to never, ever, evererverever use Chrome, then...

Spawn, since there's still no evil SergeyLarryEric...

BOFH: CSI Haxploitation Cube Farm Apocalypse

Really needs...

the words "MATCH FOUND" in foot high letters to appear somewhere on a screen, but awesome nonetheless. Sherlock seemed appropriate...

8m health records go walkabout

Look, that's not EXACTLY a big ask...

...given that Truecrypt and many commercial products do whole disk encryption; the disk is encrypted, and unscrambled when the user either provides the password or some form of token (biometric, smartcard, whatever). It's policy here now that all laptops are encrypted before issue, so yes, everything on the laptop *is* encrypted and then decrypted before being worked on. Whatever you may believe.

Wait, what...?

Contrast the following statements:

"All the laptops were password protected and our policy is to manually delete the data from laptops after the records have been processed."

and

"The machine was one of 20 lost from a storeroom at London Health Programmes - a research body based at NHS North Central London"

So the machine was obviously inactive and stored. If the policy is to delete the data after processing, how the holy fuck could it have 8.6m records on it? Answer: their response is bullshit; said policy's an arse-covering piece of paper that no-one actually reads, let alone enforces. Dammit, how hard is it to DBAN a laptop when it comes back in and reimage it before reuse?

RAF Eurofighter Typhoons 'beaten by Pakistani F-16s'

More fail

The national as opposed to international Anatolian Eagles are internal Turkish Air Force only, so there would have been no NATO or RAF foreign aircraft involved regardless of whether PAF pilots were flying TuAF F-16s.

Fail.

They have committed to buying a new MRCA and Rafale and Typhoon are the two remaining candidates. They are also developing the FGFA with Sukhoi, which is planned to be a kind of Indian-ised two-seat version of PAK-FA (kind of).

A better conclusion would be...

...to note, as other posters have above that Lewis hasn't even done any basic fact checking, which fact checking would have revealed that the PAF have never faced Typhoons at Anatolian Eagle at all, making the entire article a load of rubbish.

iTunes Match is iPiracy, claims loopy Oz industry troll

OK, yep

I get the distinction, and thanks for the response, much appreciated.

I don't hold any brief for the record companies, but...

...have Apple actually agreed this with them, or are they simply telling them "this is what we're doing, suck it up or take your ball home"? If the latter, isn't this close to being the sort of flat-rate market destroying hell that your colleague Orlowski's banged on about previously?

Has Steve Jobs killed the consumer hard disk industry?

*cough*

"disk really does face becoming the new tape over the next five, ten and twenty years"

What, the medium that everyone keeps saying is dead, but when you scratch the surface is still doing the same job it always was? Seriously, no. Have a look at your won reportage to see how dead tape is:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/04/15/google_streamline_lto/

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/03/18/tape_in_the_cloud/

Entire London 2012 Olympics' cultural events database held on Excel

@Niall 1

More like:

Are you in the spreadsheet? Oh yes, you are, I can use the share and track changes features to be in at the same time and review your changes, thanks.

Toshiba reveals iPad 2 rival

Interesting currency conversion...

"16GB will cost $480 (£355), while 32GB sells for $580 (£355)"

Ultimate case of YMMV (Your Money May Vary)?

Gordon Ramsay menaced by enormous TURKEY

Oh...

...oh dearie, dearie me; things ARE looking a bit grim, aren't they? Thing is, it's a decent cast (the non-chef parts, at any rate), so is this just a case of a very bad trailer for a half-decent film, or is it truly as bad as the trailer suggests...either way, I can't see a BAFTA in Gordo's future anytime soon...

Francis Maude goes back 110 years for cybersecurity strategy

For some reason...

...the phrase "series of tubes" keeps leaping, all unbidden, to mind...