Posts by Ray0x6

Sweden: IP numbers are personal...unless you're a pirate

Uh, so...

Guilty until proven innocent, then?

Fiancée discovers boyf is grumble flick stud

Antoher tragic Bristol story.

Honestly. Brakes my heart.

I'll get my coat and leave immediately.

Bristol crim caught with mobile up jacksie

Southville

Well, he's from south of the river, innit? They're a bit special that side of town... nevertheless, top marks for trying.

9/11 hero mutt cloned

Woof2.0

Did this guy name his dog in lolpspk?

Home Office kicks ID cards into touch

Small step in the right direction

But it's a common misconception that the cards are the problem, when really it's the database plans that need scuppering. I got pasta and mud on my last No2ID hoodie, so I will soon be buying more merchandise to wear proudly around Bristol and hopefully swell their coffers a little. Think about doing the same! I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that they are a hugely important cause and need all the help they can get to help safeguard the future of democracy in this country.

PETA pronounces on Obama fly-swat

You are outdoing yourself, today!

Famous person thwacks insect -> No story generated -> Meeja confusion -> Different famous person asked why no story generated -> Boring response hits Guardian shleb pages -> Cue further meeja confusion over public's yawning face -> Front page meta-article on El Reg -> Profit!

I see your game, Lester!

Microsoft cries foul over Google Outlookware

Suboptimal experience

Is using Outlook.

Gay animals going at it like rabbits

@Inachu

Totally correct, my man. The military industrial complex is definitely to blame for all these animals and people turning homo. But also, it seems to be the only way to get rid of 'em! I have to say, that last step of yours took application of some serious friggin logical genius. That turns me on and I am totally hot for you and bat bugs, right now. Smoochies?

Catholic social club ousts coven of witches

Burn thee, Wytche and Catholicke!

This is naught but an vile anachronistic bedevilrie, I prithee! Such individuall as aforespoke hath not one place in this time of heathen rationalry. Mark these words and return their wicked sowells back from whence they hath arrived, to the century of playgue, fylth and Shaykespyr. Or, at the verrie least, By The Lord's Dyvyne Hand, removeth of their besmyrcked fayces their 3G moabyl telyphoans and of their desk the broad-banded inter webbe for of this madjick, they have not an atomme of apprecyation.

Curseth they awl! And a pox on their festivities and diseased halls, both!

US lawmakers call for AppleT&T probe

Phase 1: Profit. Phase 2: Mutual Back Scratch. Phase 3: Milk, Cream, Repeat

"Such deals can also enable more innovation by juicing manufacturers' R&D budgets."

Yeah, bollocks. The negative-impact-on-product-quality ruse is a classic defence for imminent-wing-clip multinationals making huge stacks of money for shareholders at the expense of their locked-in customer base. Multinational execs never spend money on R&D at the expense of shareholder profit as they must maintain the confidence of their funders in order to keep drawing their pork.

GPS-guided wreckers flatten wrong house

Incredulous

Some persons less charitable than I may suggest that the gentleman featured in this story deserves to have his house knocked down for his complete failure to understand the proper contextual usage of the word "incredulous".

I, however, laugh in the face of semantics (but not angry workmen in JCBs).

Bing boxes off mucky vids

ORLY?

'Quote: "Register readers seem evenly split on whether this was bad or good."

That'll be XY vs XX chromosomed readers then.'

I have spotted a lady commentors on here and, of course, dear Ms. Bee must also count as a reader of this publication but I will eat my space suit helmet/left moon boot/own head if 50% of the Reg's readership is female.

obligatory lame xy get coat/paris/alien overlord/black helicopter/and i claim my 5 pounds gag here

Berners-Lee hired as gov internet adviser

don't understand

gov... uh... does not compute... divide by zero error/////

Pressure group demands UK apes China net filter plan

OH!

They're all religious! Well, that explains everything. Back to sleepzzzzzzzzzz

Waste of air.

I just went and checked out their website. Their manifesto is unchanged from 2004. Their September 2008 update has been printed on paper, scanned and then uploaded as a PDF. I think that pretty much says everything about their commitment to the Internet.

People like this really do make me wonder about their motives. I have a hunch they want to shout about something, anything, then pick whatever seems to be the one which will generate the most publicity. Why don't they pick a topic that actually matters, say... nuclear arms, HIV, corporate crime, government restrictions of freedom, overfishing, atmospheric pollution, etc. etc. etc. instead of one that offends their petty moral sensibilities? The cynic in me wants to believe it is because it will generate column inches and get their names in the media. But that would be just TOO ironic.

Small minded, useless idiot.

Apollo 11 - The Owners' Workshop Manual

@BoldMan

Are you Brian May? If so, say hi to your son. He stayed in halls with me at uni and wasn't anywhere near as good as you on the guitar.

Cartoon lion urges Lancs kids to dob in terrorist classmates

Children as spies? Gobsmacked.

I think this is probably well intentioned, but by God, there are some dumb f*cks running this country. This is the kind of sh*t that was poured int he ears of my Russian ex whilst she was still at school. You know, before the Iron Curtain came down. You know, when Stalin was in power. She still calls him The Devil.

When we start fearing our own children and neighbours, we will surrender the last vestiges of freedom we currently possess.

Resist these idiots. Spend the money on some f*cking history lessons instead, please.