* Posts by Xris M

41 posts • joined 10 Jun 2009

US East, West Coasts face fast-rising sea levels

Xris M

Isostatic movement of the continents due to loading and unloading occurs over timescales of thousands of years.

Data from Topex and Jason have clearly shown a GMSL rise over the last 20 years (although not an acceleration) but local sea levels will be affected by both the eustatic thermal expansion due to changes in the oceans thermal vertical profile and geoidal-eustatic changes due to changes in ice masses.

There are many different things going on and we can't yet model them all.

Suppressed data on mutant H5N1 human-killer virus PUBLISHED

Xris M


Thankfully for them lots of other people have invented it too.

Climate change linked to extreme weather surge

Xris M

Should we care?

Maybe, maybe not.

While current estimates of change (50cm (ish) sea level rise, increases in precipitation and extreme weather events) pose a level of risk the problem is the uncertainty of triggering one of 736 doomsday scenarios e.g. collapse of the West Antarctica Ice Sheet, disrupting the ocean conveyor, methane clathrate release, in which case we could be royally f**ked.

So, what IS the worst film ever made?

Xris M

Does straight to DVD count?

If so War of the Worlds 2: The Next Wave is definitely a contender.

Quite frankly how anyone can even get away with using the name and making something this terrible (check out the imdb user reviews) without being taken out and shot etc. is beyond me.

Even Battlefield Earth seems Oscar worthy next to this!

Asteroid could SMASH INTO EARTH in 2040

Xris M


For something this size it will probably have a yield of between 100 to 1000 megatons, a 3km crater and a land impact would destroy a large urban area (e.g. New York/Tokyo/London).

Of course the chances of it hitting a major population zone are slim, a more likely oceanic impact would create a sizeable tsunami that, depending on its location, could affect a considerable number of people.


Xris M


I for one welcome our new tiny.......

Phobos-Grunt 'crippled by US aurora station', 'is a bio-weapon'

Xris M

Does this mean that...

Using my powers of deduction it seems the Russians are intent on wiping out the population of Cardiff with some sort of mutated HIV bio weapon.

Oh well.

Climategate: A symptom of driving science off a cliff

Xris M

RE: balanced reporting

Have to love the fact that on the New Scientist article discussing this (http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn21203-climategate-2-hacked-emails-released.html) the second story down in the more news box is 'CO2 may not warm the planet as much as thought' (http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn21212-co2-may-not-warm-the-planet-as-much-as-thought.html).

Of course this research "omes from considering just one climate model, and unless it can be replicated".

This shit just goes round and round doesn't it.

Japan develops powered armour suit for nuke workers

Xris M


So your telling me a company called "Cyberdyne" actually exists and it makes robotic suits. Surely this is not a good idea!

Scottish TV news pumps goatse link

Xris M

Love it!

For the Luiz!

Gamer claims complete console collection

Xris M
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Missing the Sega 32X, which is needed to make the Sega Mega-CD 32X.

Pick a winner: The Sarah Hunter Google competition

Xris M
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Has to be...

John-Paul S interpretation of Moore's Law. It almost sounds like it makes sense without being overtly wrong or stupid, definitely warrants being tried out on some sophisticos.

164XXX jubs shake Middle England

Xris M


Surely in accordance with El Reg Standard Units (ERSU?), these must be some sort of Bulgarian Super Funbags, not mere Bulgarian Airbags!

New 'iPhoD' can 'adjust the speed of light by turning a knob'

Xris M


I assume Prisms weren't included in your GCSE/O-Level syllabus then.

Independent bigs up the 'Wanky Balls festival'

Xris M
Big Brother


Unfortunatley it seems that Dean Macey is no longer fond of cats.

Seeing as it was corrected only half an hour after you pointed it out, I would be careful what you say in the future.

Sepp Blatter dubbed 'Bellend' by SA gov website

Xris M
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I saw this yesterday and it was on another site as well, politifi.com. I just went back to check and it seems as if it has been changed although the google cache still shows the page as of yesterday:


Very strange yet appropriate.

World Cup stars by the numbers

Xris M


Is it Sunday already!

Must lay of the beer.

Biometric cash machine lands in Europe

Xris M

@Dan 55

Exactly what is there to stop you currently from being hauled up to a cash machine and being forced to enter your pin by someone with a knife or a gun in your back?

Vote Lib Dem, doom humanity to extinction

Xris M


I for for one welcome the day an "aggressor nation" launchs a nuclear strike at Lewis Page.

The iPad will doom humanity to painful bog-roll horror

Xris M

Does this mean......

....that we should start preparing for the toilet paper gap?

Tinfoil Condition Red! LHC 7 TeV mega-blasts today

Xris M

A title.

Ummm, does anyone know what time this is happening tomorrow. I only ask because I have exams and don't really want to spend all night revising only to find the world being destroyed around me before I even get a chance to sit them.

My time could be much better spent drinking beer and something like that is just going to annoy me.

Only nukes can stop planetsmash asteroids, say US boffins

Xris M

Lots of rocks...

Surely lots of small rocks are better than one big one. If you had the choice between getting shot in the chest with either a large calibre (.50) handgun or a shotgun I would assume the chances of survival favour the latter.

If a plus Vatican sized object was to hit then your looking at world wide destruction, extending the impact area with multiple catherdrals may only destory North America.

LHC smashes Tevatron record: Humanity enters the unknown

Xris M
Paris Hilton

How long....

Even if it does end up destroying the planet aren't the most important questions:

1. How much warning will I get?

2. Is this enough time to get round to my girlfiends, with a few minutes to spare?

Super-soldier exoskeletons ready for troop tests in 2010

Xris M
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Screw artillery sheel

I think you will find the over shoulder gantry has been designed to mount a minigun, Predator style.

Or maybe one on each side to balance it out.

iPhones get sun, leg power

Xris M


Exactly how large is the carbon footprint for producing the solar charger anyway? Considering its design, construction and transportation to the end user, how many of these need to be sold/used in order to see any positive net gain in total carbon reduction?

One wonders.

US Navy aims to make jetfuel from seawater uranium

Xris M
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Do other US surface vessels like Cruise and Destroyers also run off jet fuel?

The other limit of a carrier battle group is the fact that these vessels must also be refueled and technology like this could go a long way to improving their independence and reduce the need to rendezvous with tankers during combat situation.

Just a thought.

Nuke-nobbler raygun 747 scores 'surrogate' test success

Xris M

The real question is...

If they don't use it, can I have it?

I don't know how much it would cost, but having your own raygun totting jumbo jet has got to command some serious respect.

Plus it would look lovely in my volcano lair.

El Reg space paper plane christened Vulture 1

Xris M

@ Paris Hilton

Vehicular Agents Guaranteed Intergrity Nesting Assembly is a bit more of a mouthful.

Vote now to name El Reg space plane

Xris M

It has to be...

Ground control to Vulture 1

From tracking sex performance to tracking sex offenders...

Xris M

How does?

How does the accelerometer measure your "performance" exactly. Do you tuck it between your arse cheeks?

Landlord sues tenant over moldy Tweet

Xris M

I need a lawyer

Blah blah blah. I was going to write something insightful and mildly comical but instead I just want all of these people to die.


Windfarm Britain means (very) expensive electricity

Xris M

A very simple solution

I propose that we have two separate electricity supply networks.

The first is mainly nuclear based, for all those who want as much electricity as the they can get all of the time, its supply of uranium will come form invading third world countries and eventually strip mining the moon.

The second network is only powered through non fossil fuel renewable energy sources for those that don’t mind having a limit on the amount of electricity they use and suffering from power outages but keeps their conscience clean.

Boffin calculates cash value of memories

Xris M

Bad Memories

I have lots of bad memories that I wouldn't mind loosing, can I sell them to DARPA who will turn them into some type of weapon of mass depression.

Xbox 360 reverses plunging console sales trend

Xris M
Dead Vulture


Strange sales figures seeing as there haven't been any decent games released for the 360 this year.

As for NATAL, el Reg hates NATAL and everything it represents but when it revolutionises the gaming industry I will be standing outside of their offices gloating and laughing at them.

If it doesn't.....well who cares.

Microsoft hosts Feynman lecture series

Xris M
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Feynman is one of my favourite physicists and I will be defintely be watching these later tonight.

Who cares that I have to install "another" piece of software to run it, turns out it was already installed anyway.

In the words of The Fast Show


RIP tennis gal's DD jubs

Xris M



I'm done.

US docs claim world record musical-kidneys game

Xris M


I rather hope that Kidney donation does remain opt-out because you don’t necessarily have to be dead to donate one.

Of course once I’m gone your welcome to anything that still functions properly.

A woman spends 287 days choosing what to wear

Xris M

You gotta have a system

Work shirts are on a rotation system and trousers are choosen to match the shirt except that they cant be worn on two consecutive days.

Leisure wear consists of favourite pairs of jeans and shorts on a rotation policy plus t shirts of multiple colours depending on either my mood or what is clean.

You got to keep it simple.

Robot land-steamers to consume all life on Earth as fuel

Xris M

Took me a minute...

...to remember where I had seen this before. DARPA as just copying ideas from Star Wars.

This is just a World Devastator.

"The world devastators were designed from ground based walking construction droids, which use a molecular furnace to 'consume' and remake debris and other items into useful/new constructions."

Paris Hilton in Dubai hotel spycam shocker

Xris M


When did we get new icons and why wasn't I informed? Or have I slipped into an alternate el reg reality.

Regarding the story and Miss Hilton


One fifth of humanity deprived of Milky Way

Xris M

Say what!!!!

"This was believed to be linked to "unnatural light at night affecting levels of hormones such as melatonin and estrogen"

Is not the more obvious reason here the fact that people living in areas with high light pollution are living in the most developed areas. The same developed areas that will also contain much more of every other sort of pollutant possible, from vehicle exhaust fumes to chemically processed foods to electromagnetic radiation.

Obviously not no, obviously a little bit of extra unwanted light at night is going to fuck us all up and destroy the world!


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