Posts by Alan B

Tumblr! boss! bags! $81m! if! he! stomachs! FOUR! YEARS! at! Yahoo!

Don't you think the exclamation mark after every word for Yahoo! news items is wearing a bit thin now? It was a novelty the first time it was done, but now it is just bloody annoying.

Doctor Who? 12th incarnation sought after Matt Smith quits

Basically, nobody knows who it will be. There is so much speculation, but even the writers and casting team don't know yet.

Samsung: We can't find any child labour at our Chinese contractor

Not surprised at the result!

If I remember correctly, Samsung told the factory bosses that they would be visited for spot checks, and even WHEN they would be visited. That's a bit like telling a supected burglar that his house will be searched for stolen property by the police next Monday at 10.00 am. They certainly wouldn't find any stolen property, would they?

Samsung to probe claims of underage workers, abuse at supplier

What a brilliant idea

Tell the world well in advance that you are going to inspect the factory so the factory bosses will have plenty of time to get the children out of the way so nothing untoward appears to be going on.

Surely it would be far better to say nothing and simply walk in unannounced!

Lenovo iPad-smiting Windows 8 slate slips out

Article written by an English language/grammar scholar?

"...and it's resolution is higher..."

Why the apostrophe? the word is "its". Using an apostrophe means "it is" which doesn't make any sense in that sentence.

Alcohol DOUBLES LIFESPAN, helps resist stress

What little hair he had left...

...was snow white. His skin was thick, dry, and deeply creased, the texture of screwed up leather, and his eyes were yellow. When he smiled, it was clear that he had long since lost all his teeth.

Interviewer: "Sir, to what do you attribute your old age?"

Man: "I drink 20 pints of lager, a litre of wine, and a litre of whiskey every day!"

Interviewer: "And exactly how old are you?"

Man: "I'll be 24 next month!"

Bit-part actress slings sueball at IMDb over age gripe

Is it really her age that stops her getting work?

If the photo on IMDB is a recent one, I doubt her age would have anything to do with her not getting work, as she looks young enough to act the part of someone many years younger. Maybe her acting talent isn't quite as good as she thinks.

FCC (finally) cracks down on BLARING! TV! ADS!

It didn't work over here!

We have a similar law in the UK which came into force on July 7 2008 but the broadcasters have found a way round it. They digitally compress the audio in adverts. This means the measurable volume is no higher than the program volume, but they sound much louder to the human ear, so we still end up turning the volume down when adverts come on. I'd like to bet the USA companies will do the same.

http://conversation.which.co.uk/technology/loud-tv-television-ad-advertisements-commercial/

Anonymous launches OpRobinHood against banks

Obviously, the banks won't lose out...

...but the bank customers will. If the banks have to foot the bill for the fraudulent transactions, those costs will be passed on the the customers by way of increased interest and general bank charges. The bank bosses will still get their millions in bonuses. TeaMp0isoN and Anonymous need to step back and look at these things using a little more common sense. Also, as already stated, the taxpayer will suffer, so if you rob a bank, you are robbing the general public!

Flinging Facebook insults at Thai monarchy earns fat jail terms

It's a bloody good job...

...that we don't have a similar law in the UK about our royal family. There would be an awful lot of people behind bars for a very long time!

FBI: No evidence of water system hack destroying pump

Ah, but....

**Well, of course there's no evidence. The pump was <i>destroyed</i>**

Yes, but the computer controlling it wasn't, and it would be the computer that was hacked, not the pump itself.

Just trolling: It's OK to poke fun at Christians, says ASA

WTF is a "tittle"?

I've never heard of a "tittle", but it sounds like something from a pr0n movie. If you actually mean "title", the movie is called Trollhunter.

Human 'alarm clock' enzyme discovered

I have a serious problem!

I think my JARID1a needs resetting to go off three hours later. I really don't like waking up at about 5am every morning and not be able to get back to sleep, when I don't need to get up until around 8am

Bank emails punters asking for their, er, email address

How stupid

The idiots at the top of the banking ladder get millions in bonuses for coming up with these infantile ideas!

Who's nicked Vaz's fondleslab?

Hahahahaha!

That is all!

Facebook caught exposing millions of user credentials

Facebook apps?

This is simply another reason not to use any Facebook apps. I use Facebook to keep in touch with friends and family many miles away, but I would never consider using any of the apps.

Facebook boobs over breastfeeding page... again

"...or showing photos that might have a little breast exposed in them..."

What about if they show photos that might have a big breast exposed in them? lol

Really, Facebook, along with many other (dis)organisations need to drag themselves into the 21st century. Breast feeding is the most natural feeding method in the world, so why do some people treat it as porn? I don't understand their logic.

Doctor Who to marry Doctor Who's daughter

"I think she hoped for a chance with him someday..."

I think she hoped for a chance with Who someday?

(Sorry, it had to be said...)

Crown Paint probed by ICO for 'possible' online data breach

Website not there now

They've obviously taken the site down, as it is no longer reachable.

Spuds for laptop fraudsters strike in Huntingdon

£650 for a second hand laptop?

Gullible doesn't even begin to describe them. Who in their right minds would pay that amount even if it was a legitimate deal?

Trucker pulled with DVD and laptop on dashboard

@ Cameron Colley and some others

I don't see anywhere in the article that says the driver was watching a DVD, just that the player was on the dashboard along with a laptop. Having these items on the dashboard does not mean he was watching/using either of them.

Taxman rejects 'lie detector' tech

@ Jonathan Richards 1

Egsackly wot eye woz finkin!

Virgin Media to warn malware-infected customers

They must be joking!

"The firm will also take the opportunity to plug its Digital Home Support service, a £6-per-month remote PC maintenance helpline, "for those who need a little bit more help". A quarter of callers have a malware infection, Virgin Media said."

They can't even keep their email system running for a full week without it falling over, so there is no way in this world they should be trusted to help anyone to sort a computer out! And they have the cheek to ask for £6 a month? Hahahahaha.

Lindsay Lohan goes down for 90 days

Oh dear, poor woman.

It's a pity she wasn't given a proper prison sentence the first time around. Anyone who drives under the influence of drink (or drugs) should be locked up for a year for the first offence, and at least three years and a lifetime driving ban for a second offence.

School secretly snapped 1000s of students at home

@ Glen Turner 666

*Why do school sysadmins have access to student computers anyway?*

Did you actually read the article? The laptops belong to the school, not the students - "...covertly surveilled students as they used their **SCHOOL-ISSUED** Macs..."

New road made from pigsh*t in Missouri

Religious implications?

This means that members of religions that forbid any association with pigs will not be travelling on/living near any roads surfaced with this stuff. I foresee problems on the horizon.

Apple uncovers child workers in its plants

For a company selling the most expensive...

...computerised gizmos in the world, you'd think they would have their stuff manufactured in humane environments anyway, instead of in sweatshops where the workers are paid barely enough to feed themselves. let alone feed their families.

The reason children have to work in those places is so the whole family can afford to eat.

Virgin to offer 100Mb/s broadband by year's end

@ 'Scuse my ignorance

It's FTTC. There would be barely any improvement in performance if it was FTTH on the sort of speeds available at the moment. I think you'd need to be on at least a 1Gb/s connection to get a measurable performance increase by having FTTH.

Vodafone Ireland admits pocketing dormant PAYG cash

Vodafone won't reactivate your account...

...unless you pay for more credit, even if you already have credit on your phone. How can they justify this? I had eight quid on mine , and didn't make a chargeable call within a 90 day period, so they barred out going calls. I phoned them and asked them to reactivate it after just 96 days from the date of my last chargeable call, but they refused unless I bought at least a five quid topup. I told them to stuff their service and asked for a refund of the eight quid they owed me, but they flatly refused, saying it was impossible to do this!.

I would never ever use vodafone again, even if they were the only mibile phone provider in the world.

Tesco store bans shopping in pyjamas

@ Dann - To illustrate the point...

That cartoonist should learn how to spell, shouldn't he? Pajamas? When I was at school, it was always spelt "pyjamas". Send him bak too skool imeediuttly!

Billionaire-funded e-car gets showroom date

Sounds nice

Shame about the price. I'll be happy to test drive one of these free of charge for a year or two, as long as the company pays to have 3 phase electricity connected to my house lol

Police arrest MD of dowsing-rod 'bomb detector' firm

Gullible idiots

Surely the officials who bought the "detectors" should also be arrested.

Mine's the one with a bit of cardboard in the pocket.

Trojan pr0n dialers make comeback on mobile phones

It was inevitable, wasn't it?

As soon as mobile phones were designed to access the internet, and send and receive emails, it was only a matter of time before this happened. I use my mobile phone as a mobile phone, and my computer for accessing the internet. Makes sense to me.

eBay fined 1.7m euros in perfume kerfuffle

Well, we can expect...

...Ebay fees to increase now to cover the cost of the fine

'Alien spies live among us' says Bulgarian gov space boffin

Oh yes...

...I remember seeing that movie as well.

NASA to irradiate monkeys for science

Why don't they...

...leave the poor innocent monkeys alone and experiment with radiation on members of the UK government instead? Perhaps their behavioural patterns would change enough to make them consider the welfare of the general public instead of simply making sure their own pockets are well lined.

Japanese bloke gets arsey over artificial rectum

That's a bummer, isn't it?

'nuff said...

Lloyds TSB's online banking system shows no love for Firefox

Working fine here

I use FF 3.5.3 on XP SP3 with NoScript running, and have no problems whatsoever, and that is on two desktops and two laptops, all running the same OS with NoScript.

4 in 10 Brits feel lonely without a daily texting

How sad can life be?

Anyone who feels lonely or unpopular because they don't receive texts or phone calls must lead very sad lives. Technology is supposed to enhance ife, not replace it.

Man on trial over £600k NatWest phishing scam

@ dunncha

You said "Maybe I'm dumb but isn't electronic fraud easy to track. The money left account 123 and went to account 234 then off to account 345 then off to account 456."

Not really that simple, is it? The money that was in account 123 most likely gets drawn out as cash. How do you track it after that?

Japan gives the wheelchair a hi-tech overhaul

Not exactly the best design...

...for people with back or hip problems. No back support at all, so many elderly and/or disabled will simply fall off.

Then there is the problem of people who can't walk at all. From a normal chair, you can get them to an upright position, then sit them down into a conventional wheelchair. How are you supposed to safely and comfortably move them forward onto the seat on this machine? It would be much the same as trying to sit them on a small motorcycle.

Ditching ID cards would save £3bn

A bit late, don't you think?

The ID card idea should have been scrapped many billions of pounds ago, before any money was spent on it. Just think how much healthier the UK finances would look if all that money had been used in a more sensible manner.

Truck drivers! Don't go texting now

@ Enough specific laws - Martin 6

You said "...the UK introduces a law banning cell phone calls while driving, but didn't include txting..."

Erm, Try using a little bit of common sense. It certainly DOES include texting! The law BANS THE USE of a handheld mobile phone whilst driving. If you are texting, you are using a handheld mobile phone, therefore it is forbidden whilst driving. Pretty obvious when you think about it, isn't it?

Tasered Oz man bursts into flames

@ The First Dave

"I presume you got the ethnic/non-ethnic thing reversed?"

No, you got it the wrong way round.

The statement by Jo 5 is correct. It says that there were hardly any police who were of ethnic descent at that time. Your statement says that almost ALL police were of ethnic descent.

Staten Island manhole swallows texting teen

Not surprised to hear this

Kids and young adults walk along texting without being aware of anything going on around them. Young mothers with babies in pushchairs are the worst. They push the baby straight out onto the road in front of them because they don't see the road, then there is a blast from car horns and a screech of brakes as drivers try and avoid hitting the pushchair. Then the mother screams at the drivers telling them they should look where they are going, when it is the mother at fault.

I'm surprised there aren't more deaths and serious injuries from this.

Texting whilst walking should be against the law.

People without broadband in 'I don't want broadband' shock

@ Kerberos

I really can't believe you posted that. Some people have barely enough money coming in to eat properly. Even if they had a computer given to them free of charge, many can't afford to have a phone line installed, or the monthly line rental, let alone the cost of broadband. Alternatively, where does the £40 a month come from for a mobile contract? There are a huge number of people who have too much month left at the end of the money.

It's time you joined the rest of us in the real world. Exactly what is your idea of a low income? It's obviously far higher than reality!