Posts by Wonko the Sane

IBM slips automatic tranny into Power7

Alfred NORTH Whitehead

The man was British for godsakes, how can you get his name wrong.

Office for Mac steps closer to Windows version of software

iWork

Apple has their own iWork. It claims to be able to read and write Office files but from personal experience it isn't quite up to interoperability with Office. That said, I much prefer it to Office's bloat and general MS crustiness.

Hurd's HP legacy: Dell racer, IBM chaser

HP 8150 Printer vs HP 4515 Printer

We have an HP 8150 printer, built to withstand Armageddon and roughly 10 years old (probably older). We recently purchased a HP 4515 printer. Built to withstand a light breeze but only if we hold its cheap little hand. In 3 years, we'll have an HP 8150 printer and be looking for a new printer. I think that about sums up the state of HP.

Inside Microsoft's innovation crisis

2 makes a habit

So with iPhone and iPod, Jobs now has a habit of taking the banal and making it great? How about the Newton, how'd that fare? The correspondent is merely phoning this article in, making the usual whine about MS and taking the requisite pokes at Apple.

Possibly the reason MS fails is Powerpoint. PP encourages the reduction of everything to bullet points and arrows to no where. I was once watching an interview with David Patraeus, now commander over U.S. forces in Iraq and Afghanistan. He repeated said that, "if Microsoft will allow, blah, blah, blah..." I couldn't understand the repeated references to Microsoft. I also noted one slide he repeatedly came back to because it had several meaningless arrows on it. Then he finally let us in on the little secret, MS had a staff person assigned to make the presentation for him. That would explain the arrows to no where.

Reliance on PP has destroyed innovation in MS and the will to live among those of us who must put up with yet another PP to no where.

Pants bombs vs America: The infernal conflict

Euro-Whine

"the childlike populace safe", I think you mean the childlike pols, the proles will take care to defend ourselves.

"where laymen have been conditioned to view them as magic wands", evidence?

Your whole rant sounds like the usual EuroWeenie Whine about Americans, you actually believe what the media tells you about us. Us, on the other hand, have been living with American media most of our lives and know better than to imbibe.

And your rant will be shown silly by the first butt-bomb that actually works...bet you hope you won't be sitting next to the unfortunate mule.

Russia plans asteroid-defence space mission to Apophis

Gaia?

How does Gaia fling rocks like Apophis at...uh...herself? 'Tis the Universe that wants us dead. The reason is political ads. The Universe finds it offensive that Earthlings have advanced to the point where political ads are sent out via electro-magnetic waves increasing the total political pollution that other more advanced civilizations have been attempting to control via the Pol-Ad Test Ban Treaty. Every time a Klieg light turns on to illuminate a pol blathering on upon his/her next expensive project, an extra-dimensional being dies. Frankly, they've had it. Apophis is their rather blunt answer.

iPhone gets a decent keyboard

iDentures

Coming soon to an Apple Store near you: iDentures. The problem with keyboards is all those damn keys, it is inelegant. Now which part of the human anatomy has lots of knobs that generally are not used for anything except during short intervals when a keyboard wouldn't be used anyhow?

Yep, teeth. The new iDentures will fit into your mouth and be connected via Bluetooth to the iPhone. Each "tooth" resonates at a unique frequency picked up via a downloadable iApp for what I assure you is a mere pittance. All one need do is tap a tooth with a tongue...doesn't even have to be your own. Those with wisdom teeth gain an extra 4 characters and eligible for the Steve Jobs Effervescent Glow Club. Plus there is the cool retro-look you'll gain by appearing as a 13 year old with braces.

Wind River takes Android commercial

Yep

Intel owns Wind River. We presume support for Intel processors is forthcoming and support for ARM processors is outgoing.

No more UFO reports please, says MoD

Beware, Ye Brits

Clearly this means that MoD has been compromised by the Pod-People from the Central Alien Galaxy of Zook. The National Health Service has already been compromised, how else to explain the failed IT projects; the Zookians can not abide an efficient NHS since that would uncover the extent to the which the pods have been implanted. The Monachy was taken over years ago until Princess Di threatened to blow their cover. Charles ears are actually satellite dishes for receiving their nefarious signals. And his preoccupation with architecture...just the sort of thing to cover up the electronic brain-mapping equipment meant to keep tabs on Brit brain function.

The surveillance cameras on every street corner and in every loo report back vital functions to the Great Zook. Aliens are recording every bit of information for a Grand Moronic Convergence scheduled for the next planet alignment. The combined gravitational influence plus the total informational awareness of the aliens can only point in one direction...the French. Repent now ye Brits, thy doom approacheth!!

Windows 7 soars while Mac OS X trips online

Linux?

"+1 here for discovering the joys of Ubuntu, and hey, there are themes that give you mac / win style look and feel if that's what you need."

Understanding this deep is why it will never be the Year of the Linux desktop.

Google and Murdoch - a divorce made in heaven?

Rupert believed his own lie

In Rupert's world, he is the center of vast empire of trash....err....content producing organizations. He's used to getting his own way and vain enough to think everything has the value he assigns to it. When he 'discovered' sites like Google stealing his jewels, his first reaction was to make them pay. Asking Google nicely won't work because they'd just cover him in sticky goo about how information wants to be free. So, in a predictable move, he goes to Google's competitor, MS, and wanks widely about a deal. It was really never intended to block Google, it was always intended to force Google to pay thinking in his own perverted little way, that's what he would do were he running Google.

it is all part of Rupert's nefarious plan to take his gold with him when Satan comes to claim his own. The man is 78 years old and not all that spry looking. He has maybe 5-6 more years before his brain is so addled he comes up with schemes to monetize the ineffable. He's just getting in a bit of practice before going 'round the bend.

Murdoch puffs Microsoft over Google

You must be joking

"But if Murdoch thinks Google is playing hardball with his precious content, we'd love to see him haggling with Steve Ballmer."

C'mon, MS and Ballmer will pay Murdoch to help MS beat Google. That is how it will start out. If it doesn't crash and burn and actually succeeds in making Bing successful, Murdoch will be rewarded with a knife set...in his back.

H Ross Perot Jr fails to grab rhino by the horns

size compensation

If the little twit takes after his old man, he's surely a bit lacking the men's department. This was merely his pathetic attempt to compensate. Some men go for fast cars, some go for killing innocent animals of endangered species.

Killing with a gun is not a sport. If he were to attempt to kill the critter with his bare hands, now that would be sport. Hell, there'd be plenty of us would pay good money to see that.

"In this corner we have rootinest-tootinest cowboy east, west, south, aaaaaand north of the Pecos (think Yosemite Sam from Bugs Bunny). In this corner we have the meanest, two horned wild blood thirsty beast who hasn't had his savanna grass this morning. And let the match begin.

He-boy charges at the rhino...rhino yawns looking around his corner for some savanna to munch on. He-boy jumps onto the rhino's back and proceeds to pummel the mad, human-eater with his fists. Rhino yawns and complains to his manager about the lack of savanna and asks for a fly swatter. He-boy grabs the monster by the throat and proceeds to choke him. Rhino uses fly swatter to great effectiveness and, gee, notices that a bit of protein might make a good hors d'oeuvre...chow, chow, chow. Match over, rhino takes the World Weenie Crown and stomps off to find some savanna to chew on."

Charlize Theron to travel Mad Max's Fury Road

old people

"Don't ya just love old people coming back to action roles..." Frankly, I do, what are yer, some under 30 whiny little creep who hopes he'll die before he gets old?

Apple's Q4 'most profitable quarter ever'

bitter pills

I think, in the interests of bitter Apple-haters, someone should make the obligatory derogatory comments about Apple, c;'mon you know the ones. Let me prime the pump:

1. Apple is only succeeding is fooling people into buying 'cool'.

2. Apple stuff is over-priced fluff with no inherent value...errr...or something...'cause it doesn't do some stupid manly thing.

3. Jobs is Satan with a reality distortion field commonly obscuring the sight of the faithful....or was it a distorted reality field...some bitter old coot want to help me out here?

SCO boots boss McBride

MS in the Story

Yes, Microsoft was in the story, they gave a certain amount of money to SCO for licensing of Unix IP. So did Sun. Together their contribution to SCO was $26.5 million. Neither needed to, they just felt that, all things being equal, helping SCO take a bite out of the Linux arse was good business. A pox on both of them....errrr....I guess between Ballmer and Ellison this has already occurred.

Windows 7, Bing and mobile will determine Ballmer's future

Ballmer IS Microsoft

MS was never seen as an innovator, ever. And there's nothing Ballmer can do to change that. The man is basically generic Business School Product. He has no technical ideas. Neither did Gates so there's no point in him attempting to out-Gates Gates. MS's only claim to fame is/was being a nasty competitor which would sink far below any level necessary to undermine competition.

The retail pricing of Windows 7 is also meaningless. Most users will only upgrade when they get a new machine. Business already does this because the pain and agony of tampering with any MS Malware is likely to sink one into a cess-pool of technical details. Windows 7 will be a success to the extent people/businesses buy PCs.

US Army doubles fleet of enormous floating eyes

one word

"So its like hitting an object at a distance of 79.20 feet that looked like an object 0.4 foot high by 1 foot long. So about the size of a shoe box. That sounds very possible. (Although I doubt it would do much damage)."

One word: wind.

DARPA seeks orbital wheely-bin plan

velocity

Velocity matters; the stuff is moving very fast in all different directions. Anything standing in its way is likely have a hole poked in it or worse, blown into many more pieces compounding the problem. I don't blame DARPA for being weaselly since the problem is so intractable. One the other hand, we could promise Congress Critters that they could use their campaign coffers to collect the stuff; then even the planets wouldn't be safe.

Microsoft $358m patent violation damages tossed

Patent reform

"The case claimed Outlook's calendaring function infringed on the patent in the way it displays a month's calendar as a grid and then translates the date into an appointment date form."

What a crock. Yes they got the patent, yes MS violated it. But a patent that stupid and obvious should never have been granted in the first place.

Silverlight swallows off-line DRM pill

vending machine

I don't think you all are thinking of the future Microsoft Vending Machine Corporation. You connect it directly to your bank account. From then on, you can sail the web, play any content you like, buy merchandise, etc., and all safe with the knowledge you have properly anted up....at least as long as your bank account is in the black.

Parallels unfurls desktop virt for Windows, Linux

language

I think, as an American, the Americans should take offense at the Brits for blatantly stealing our isms. Don't make us patent the use of the comma to make you understand. Think of the children....errr...or something.

Microsoft goes Darwinian with evolutionary tree patent

language

"The laws create the playing field and the rules ... the companies then have to figure out how to play the game to their best advantage."

Oh, and Microsoft is in the vanguard of getting rid of process patents? There are two sides to this debate, not three. Microsoft and its hacks do not get to hide behind, "its the law, what can a little company like us do".

SCO sale blocked by court

don't buy that bozo a beer

The judge is almost clueless. SCO should have gone directly to chapter 7. The whole point of chapter 11 is there is some plan on the table to reconstruct the company. The judge ruled there is no plan, yet he still allows them to stay in chapter 11. The judge also disallowed as evidence emails from a SCO insider claiming there was no plan, yet now has the gall to appoint a trustee to see if there is a plan. The ruling makes no sense.

Microsoft's Windows 7 price gamble - and why it's flawed

As long as supplies last?

"This is a limited time offer and will run until supplies run out."

Wow, MS has invented physical software, they produce 1000 copies, they must sell 1000 copies. What will Ballmer think of next?

I very much doubt MS users are going to upgrade in significant numbers since most are scared to death of changing their machines lest they turn into bricks.

Microsoft ultra-thins to 'out cool' netbooks, Apple

language

Listening to calls for Ballmer to be replaced....are you out of your minds? Ballmer is the best thing that could happen to MS...he's just not the best thing that could happen for MS.

Microsoft: GPL violation didn't drive Linux donation

language

Linus's point, at least I hope it was his point, is that for FOSS to succeed, it must succeed on it's own merits, not as opposition to MS. That said, I wouldn't trust MS farther than I could spit a two-headed rat.

Apple profits up 15 per cent (again)

no no no

Derek, no no no, you haven't been listening to the anti-Apple crowd. Apple only makes things which are trendy, that's how they're doing it, people only buy Apple because it will bring them a lifestyle they can be proud of...wine, women, song....errrr...or something like that.

Mac OS X gets rootkit coding manual

showing hidden files

One doesn't have to type in a command at the command line to show hidden files. Just go to ~Library/Preferences/com.apple.finder.plist and use xcode's plist editor to open the .plist. Then toggle AppleShowAllFiles and restart the finder.

Microsoft embraces Linux 'cancer' to sell Windows servers

language

As someone mentioned, this is just MS's attempt to monetize Linux. Also, I think it a cheap way for MS to cheapen F/OSS. They pollute the F/OSS atmosphere by GPLing only bits and drabs and only in a way that points the clueless back to Redmond.

Ballmer, if you were anymore transparent, you'd be in a bigger freakshow than MS.

Microsoft 'deal factories' fast-track customers to block rivals

language

I think this is merely a front for Satan doing "deals" to get business souls. I'll bet it is tough finding Business School Product willing do sign a deal that haven't already sold their soul.

Microsoft stores to get in Apple's face this autumn

Apple vs Crapshoot

Could MS do a deal with the usual crowd of flacks, i.e., HP, Dell, etc. and put their machines loaded with the usual MS crapware in their stores? Between the large number of MS running machines out there and the problems continually plaguing them, it might be that MS stores are inundated with business of the form: it runs too slow and hiccups a lot, fix it.

US employers cut 467,000 jobs in June

language

Chris C pretty much nails it. However, I think we must weigh more heavily the damage Business School Product did to U.S. business. They've been shipping manufacturing out of the U.S. long before the Chinese decided to leach off the rest of the world. BSP did this because they (1) never really understood manufacturing anything, that's why they graduated from BSP schools, and (2) have no loyalty to anything beyond their own self-interest. The fact that engineers and laborers worked hard to manufacture a product is meaningless to them; they are only interested in shipping design and manufacturing somewhere else to capture that last fraction of a percent of profit which can duly be reported in support of their year end bonus.

They have finally achieved what no other group has: they have become the moral equivalent of lawyers.

A Google monopoly today means packet snooping tomorrow

language

'Other than the subscription fees that carriers collect for access to the Internet itself, the only reliable revenue stream the net has ever generated is ad sales'

I agree with the previous poster. Tell Amazon that money they are counting doesn't exist. Tell the states those internet taxes they are on the verge of levying are not going to generate revenue because, as the writer explains, there's no money there.

Ballmer clashes with Obama over US tax rules

language

As much as it is fun demonize Ballmer and MicroSloth, they are not the cause of the U.S. recession. That job was done by (in order of blame):

(1) the American people - who signed for mortgages they couldn't afford, bought second houses, took the equity out of their houses and pissed it off. They also bought cars and trucks that were destined to be unaffordable once the price of oil went high enough..which it clearly was going to do once less developed nations decided they wished to be developed.

(2) the banks, capital markets, and Wall Street - who designed debt instruments even they didn't understand. They also managed to sever the link between investment and risk, and also produced "financial instruments" that turned a profit if some part of the economy failed.

(3) Business School Product - who thought running a company didn't mean one needed to actually know the company's products (the kind of understanding an engineeri has by designing them). And who also decided that shipping production, product development, and research to China was a wise decision.

(4) Government regulators - who forgot that the "free" in "free market" means freedom of entry and exit, not freedom from government laws designed to keep freedom of entry and exit, thus promoting the establishment of monopolies and oligarchies.

(5) Speed and efficiency - the push for speed and efficiency meant that the global economic system is so tight that a problem in one part gets immediately translated into other parts with no time lag, no buffering, no looseness.