* Posts by Dave Cradle

57 posts • joined 17 Nov 2009


Super-powered 'frankenmalware' strains detected in the wild

Dave Cradle

Didn't need fixing.

It didn't need fixing since Windows is ubiquitous. A few niche or hobby OSes don't count.

Now I don't believe that, but I thought I'd give you a sample of what ignorant, patronising shite coming towards you was like rather than radiating away from you as per the norm.

Best Buy fires parting shot at Dixons with closing down sale

Dave Cradle


You're going to cook your wife?

Gallery mulls 'damage' after cleaner scrubs modern art

Dave Cradle


Just snobs. Being snobby about other snobs doesn't not make you a "reverse snob", just a normal snob with a different target from the other snobs.

'Boss from hell' knuckle-rapped for 'firing contests'

Dave Cradle

A bit up your own

I don't see any mention of monkey dances or hurling furniture in the article.

So which of your own irrational prejudices are you trying to squeeze in here?

Games review site goes titsup at launch

Dave Cradle

re: re: Spew

A navvy? Jeez, that one's got more tat's than the Navy. *brrrrr*

Blue Screen of Death gets makeover for Windows 8

Dave Cradle


"I often wondered if there ever was anyone in existance that could actually glean or understand anything from a BSOD or a MS Crash report log."


OFT boss: 'Google is fantastic and should be applauded'

Dave Cradle


The two-faced steamroller antics of Google far outstrip even the microsoft of the '90s. The more I hear about them the more I weep for the company that showed such promise of reforming the way big tech business does big business.

The fact that they give away loads of cool stuff shouldn't blind an intelligent person from this. Some more cynical than me might even call it a bribe for the stupid. Not ME you understand. I'm a pragmatist not a cynic.

Memo to kid coders: Enterprise software exists

Dave Cradle

Re:Can I try?

Sorry for being off topic.

>> along with a retired enterprise programmer whom showed me the ropes

In these days when people tend to use "who" whether or not it should be "who" or "whom" you would think it would be a pleasant diversion when someone uses "whom" when it should be "who".

But it just feels like someone is stamping on my bell every time I see it.

Impatient punters trade PS3s for Xbox 360s

Dave Cradle

Written before reading??

I could only see one post with a negative slant towards gamers in general, and even that one I wouldn't call "hate".

Did you read the article and then just post your standard "hate" response?

I hate too. Hate stock indignant posts.

Jon Bon Jovi accuses Steve Jobs of murdering music biz

Dave Cradle

I'd get nostalgic if I ever stopped listening to them.

Amen indeed, Brother Fuzzy.

(I always skipped over "Escape" on RTL though. Never liked that song)

Assange ambushes Australian Prime Minister on live TV

Dave Cradle

@AC - Is this a troll?

Rights and wrongs aside - it's hard to see how you could have got it more wrong.

He clearly states he's refering to Manning, not Assange. :-)

Republicans believe in 'climate change' but not 'global warming'

Dave Cradle

Is it just me or is it warm in here?

"Only to those who have fallen for the sceptics propaganda. I have yet to see a sceptic claim that is not thoroughly debunked."

Depends what you read. I've yet to see a sceptic's OR zealot's claim that the other side hasn't debunked, then the original side claiming that it hasn't and that the other side uses pseudo science, and only idiots believe THEM because anyone can SEE we're right, etc, etc. Ad nauseum.

I feel sorry for both sides and only actively hate the lying, trough-snouting scientists that lied to produce results their paymasters wanted, and thus muddied the whole issue to the point it's a high-finance slanging match where both sides know they are right and the other side all smell of wee. Deadlock that may kill us all (either naturally or by our own hand depending on your standpoint).

Mac Trojan uses Windows backdoor code

Dave Cradle

Yes, they do.

It's a very profitable business. You buy your template malware, customise it to your needs (sending credentials, card details, etc, to your own server) and then release it.

This business model allows criminally minded people with only limited technical know-how to prey on the general public.

European child abuse image law a step closer

Dave Cradle

Whilst and amongst

Whilst and amongst are perfectly good words. I use them all the time, so do a lot of other sane, modern-day, educated, non-pretentious people. They're probably just not popular in chavsville, init?

Now, people who say "methinks" in forum posts. You can shoot them by all means.

I'd never heard anyone use outwith before, though.

Delete all you like, but it won't free up space

Dave Cradle

Saints preserve us.

Welcome to storage 101.

I really hope the last sentence of the article was meant sarcastically, but I fear not.

Assange assault accusers sought 'revenge,' attorneys say

Dave Cradle

Why ask?

>> Did Assange leave the country before or after the case was closed? etc etc etc

Using the search engine of your choice it takes less than 20 seconds to answer your own question and render your post moot. Probably less time than it took you to compose your comment.

(I'm not going to tell you the answer as I'm capricious)

Stephen Fry cans Japan trip over nuke survivor quip

Dave Cradle

Being fed propaganda?

In the unlikely event that any English speaking Japanese in Japan are reading this: has anyone over there actually heard this story and does anyone actually care what Mr Fry said?

Or are we just being fed a load of old pony by the press (who love a story like this) after one person took it upon themselves to complain?

(Bloody hell I'm feeling jaded and cynical today)

Microsoft lands big handbag on Google's copy kisser

Dave Cradle

What did I misunderstand?

Isn't this a complete set up by Google? They know how clickstream data works.

As I understand from the original story they had their own guys opt in to the Bing clickstream feedback thing, they searched repeatedly on nonsensical terms and then clicked on the same link each time after searching.

Later, they enter the term in to Bing and the only matches that it has are the clickstream data that says "when people searched for this term they then clicked on this link". So that link is displayed as the search result?

So is this not them opting in to another companies "improve our results" program, sending poisoned results back, and then complaining that the poisoned results were displayed?

Wouldn't this work for "strings no one is ever going to search on" with any automated feedback system?

Microsoft insists autistic Xboxer is a cheat

Dave Cradle


Those images are of a till where the APPLICATION is not starting.

Neither shows a BSOD.

US Wikileaks investigators can't link Assange to Manning

Dave Cradle


Why persecute the ass for the crimes of the owner, even if he's an arse.

Won't somebody please think of the asses!!!

Gates, Woz, and the last 2,000 years of computing

Dave Cradle

VERY minor correction

Orac was off of Blakes 7. The micro was Oric. I had an Oric-1. (And a Spectrum. And a BBC B eventually)

Chinese Trojan blocks cloud-based security defences

Dave Cradle


Most of Microsoft's stuff. Almost all of Linux. And no one runs Apple stuff on anything but toys these days so we don't need to consider that.

OS code aside, The Register would lose half its stories if drone workers didn't find ways of circumventing security and running stuff they weren't supposed to or copying data they shouldn't.

For the sake of the Reg, keep networks open!

US woman @theashes gives in to Twitter, flies to Sydney

Dave Cradle

No offence meant, but...

Carefully, but incorrectly.

Just because you wish history happened in a way more to your current political liking doesn't mean it was so. There are many Scots, Welsh and even Irish that made important contributions to the terror that was the British Empire.

Man caught w*nking over Alan Sugar's autobiography

Dave Cradle

That'd be...

...the 40ish year old retired footballer?

yeah. Well modern.


Crazed reindeer stalks, attacks Scottish woman with antlers

Dave Cradle


All? ONE person with an under-developed sense of humour mentioned it and then you, somewhat ironically for a person called Bee, accused us of behaving as if we were a hive mind.

Horror AVG update ballsup bricks Windows 7

Dave Cradle

The server version of Win7 is...

...Windows Server 2008r2

World's most advanced rootkit penetrates 64-bit Windows

Dave Cradle


So if your machine is already compromised to the point they can change the MBR (which any half decent AV should spot and prevent) then they can run this admittedly very clever bit of code on your machine.

Pisser if you're infected, but easy to prevent.

MAD Students Union bars 'racist' ZOMBIE PHYSICISTS

Dave Cradle

In fairness...

...I doubt these London types from t' Register read the Yorkshire Post.

But everyone reads the Daily Mail. (Unfortunately, some people take it seriously).

Security major strops over MS free scanner auto-downloads

Dave Cradle

You're doing something wrong then

I've installed it on umpteen machines, possibly even a plethora, and I've never had any problems. It goes on, does the business, and doesn't cost anything. Easy life.

Czechs tell Google to stop StreetView

Dave Cradle


>>if i wifi acess point has not been locked and secured and marked private then as far as i am concerned it is open.

...luckily for the entire rest of the world your personal opinion does not constitute law.

The reason we have these laws is to stop parasites and wankers preyiexploiting the weak and stupid.

UK hacker fined for personnel database mischief

Dave Cradle

According to HR...

Are they balls.

Superhuman Chinese monk does a bunk

Dave Cradle


Do you know how journalism works?

Both the "220 volts" thing and the "underwater for 2 hours" things were "abilities" that he claimed to impress his dumb audience.

He reported the guys claims and I imagine didn't bother running a robust analysis of the volts claim for the same reason he didn't on the underwater one.

(Oh I wish I could remember the sketch I'm hearing in my head now, I think it was a sermon in a church where everything was tediously picked apart. Might have been Stuart Lee)

Although making electicity circulate is quite an achievement. Go fake guru!

NZ woman pays motorised tribute to A RYAN 1

Dave Cradle

Geek up.


Nandos 'village bike' ad not sexist, rules ASA

Dave Cradle


A fair request, but mix these three ingredients in any measure you like and what would you imagine the result would be?

i) The usual level of comment for a bootnotes article

ii) An article about double-entendre and sexual inuendo...

iii) ...and the people that complain about such things.

Wikileaks publishes encrypted 'insurance' file

Dave Cradle

@frank ly

>> "..It seems a regular piece of garbage claimed by leftists, communists, and socialists,... "

>> You forgot the gays and the Jews and the Gypsies.

Just because someone doesn't hold the same political views as you doesn't make them a homophobe, an anti-semite or a racist.

Typical leftie. :-)

Nude trampolinist bounces free from court

Dave Cradle


According to the article, he wasn't just having a bounce but cracking one off at the same time.

And the neighbour was so shocked she had to continue watching and eventually call the police rather than shut her curtains and go back to bed.

Street View spooked by 10 Rillington Place?

Dave Cradle

No you won't.

Not a chance in hell.

Zuckerberg: I'm 'quite sure' I own Facebook

Dave Cradle


Having done no research on this other than read the article, I don't believe it's anything to do with code.

" Ceglia's lawyers say different, and that he invested $1,000 in what became Facebook, after employing Zuckerberg to work on a separate project."

Sounds like they met when Z was employed by C, and that C stuck a little cash (with contract) into the fledgling enterprise.

I'm with the popcorn guy above: this is going to be fun to watch.

Extraterrestrials strafe Bosnian with meteorites

Dave Cradle

Concrete breeze blocks

I'm no builder, but I thought breeze blocks were made of breeze (or brieze) whereas concrete blocks were made of...

England versus Germany: Quaff real ale

Dave Cradle

maybe it's time you went to the pub...

...as anyone who can miss the point by so wide a margin probably needs a drink.

While you're there, why not talk in a loud voice about how clever you are.

Have a good weekend.

UK.gov preps bonfire of the vanity websites

Dave Cradle

Cart before horse

cost to build and maintain divided by number of hits over this time period.

So if it cost 24 quid to build, and 2 people visited the site, that's 12 notes per squint.

Not a measure of quality: if you were trying to measure its cost compared to its worth then it would either be infinite or zero, depending on how drunk I am.

Old timer cleared of extreme porn charges

Dave Cradle

Partially true

The knock-on effect of one person slowing down is, of course, well known and proven.

But you will see people slowing down when they obviously don't need to so they can gawp and hopefully see another human being in pain. Or some blood.

There's an awful lot of scumbags in this world.

Want nips like church coat pegs? Click here

Dave Cradle

You were expecting?

It's an article about the female chest area. You were expecting originality? Wit? Satirical observation?

To be honest, I only visited the comments page to see what your take on the posts would be :-)

Make Isle of Man drugs paradise, says Jagger

Dave Cradle


...sorry to be pedantic, but the area in which this discussion is taking place by no means resembles a corner. :-)

(NOTE: Please don't reply to this. I have fuck all interest in dragging this out).

Reg reader applauds World's Crappiest phish

Dave Cradle

Nice idea.

I wouldn't mind a bet it's being done already. Have to be careful of spam filters, though.

Bill Gates backs ball-busting ultrasound

Dave Cradle

Don't worry.

You'll still be able to finish in 20 seconds, just as normal. The difference is that the semen you pump in to Polythene Pauline won't contain viable sperm.

Probably. In not a doctor. I just wanted to make a prem/doll comment. :-)

MS withdraws ineffective security update

Dave Cradle

FAIL indeed

One assumes the "FAIL" icon was aimed at yourself? ABBA didn't do "You win again". The Bee Gees did. :-)

Music festival organisers warn punters about dodgy tickets

Dave Cradle

Mostly agree.

There should be (might be?) a legal way to transfer the ticket or get a refund if you can't go. But, as much as I hate to agree with the overpriced festival organisers, it's the wanker touts buying up huge swathes of tickets and selling them on at inflated prices and con artist scum selling forgeries to the gullible/desperate that forced this state of affairs.

'iPhone 4G' found on floor of bar

Dave Cradle

"Crapple" indeed

And why wouldn't they call Apple "Crapple". It's no different from writing M$ or Linsux. Has anyone called anyone a shill yet?? That's always hilarious.

Police send Reg hack CRB check database

Dave Cradle

If only...

>> The IT systems would have been adjusted to make sure such a breach does not occur again whether the aritcle was published or not

IF that were true then maybe you'd have a point. But it would have been hushed up and ignored. "No harm done, no one found out. We'll keep everything as it is and it definitely won't happen again."



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