Posts by Jason Yau

RUPERT MURDOCH HIT BY PIE

It's

only a trifling matter

I'll leave now

Apple seeks patent for keyboard that sucks

Blows and sucks?

Paris - for obvious reasons.

Fukushima explained in crap cartoon

Thank god

Nuclear boy doesn't have violent diarrhea

Ubuntu 'Maverick Meerkat' erects own App Store

Had to be said

Simples.

Microsoft Windows glider crashes

Should of

pressed ctrl+alt+delete

Apple eyes kill switch for jailbroken iPhones

Less iPhone users

means less people buying fart apps

Mine's the one with cups and string in the pocket.

iPhone consumed by solar 'death ray'

Apple

will still say it is water damage

Hoodies swipe bus for YouTube joyride

The word

plonker isn't used enough nowadays so here it goes

What a bunch of plonkers

Mine is the sheepskin coat.

Grow-lamps roast Yorkshire dope farmer in his sleep

There's a reason

that it's called dope.

FOSS vendors lick chops over ConLib IT plans

Penguin

Nuff said

NZ spider objects to Canadian's todger

Oh well

cheaper than an overdose of viagra.

Britain's bingers out-boozed by Irish

Irish drunks?

Never!

Google chief 'paranoid' on security after China attack

Google?

Using IE6? Why not chrome?

iPod implicated in US attack sub prang

He was

playing doodle jump really.

Alleged spy traitor's bail bid blocked

Who needs to work at MI6 to get secret information

Just look for it on your next train journey

Loud sex ASBO woman back on the job

"failing to put a sock in it"

It's best if she doesn't put anything in it.

Incredible Hulk snared on Street View

I for one

welcome our giant winged overlords

Paris Hilton canes the Brazilian lager

I'm not

used to seeing paris not in night-vision mode.

Wales Audit Office boss sacked amidst laptop smut claims

I bet

the queen is not amused.

Apple's iPad - fat iPhone without the phone

Me

waits for the iPad 2...

Selfridges punts £1,800 Spanish ham

Umm

I'll stick to bacon.

Microsoft Office 2007 retailers dodge patent injunction

Openoffice

nuff said

UK.gov dismisses Tory claims UK cyberspace is defenceless

Secret teen hacker army

would be useful here.

Guinness to hit three quid a pint

It's

not the supermarkets causing the binge drinking, it's the people themselves that don't know when to stop.

25kg of cocaine hits Spanish supermarket shelves

Would

this count as one of my five fruits and veg a day?

Santa sticks up bank to 'pay elves'

Feeding

flying reindeer must cost a pretty penny

Mine's the one with the mince pie in the pocket

Microsoft loses appeal on Word injunction

I have an idea

Buy multiple copies of office 2003 & 2007. Sell back to people in US

$$$$

UK mobile networks line up to bash net snooping plan

Information Modernisation Programme

What part of wanting to pry even more into people's private lives counts as modernisation?

Pig plague alert: Our safe sex guide

Does this

count as extreme porn?

Zuckerberg pictures exposed by Facebook privacy roll-back

Hmmm

"Users who would rather retain control on who can see their pictures or other personal information would do well to steer clear of Facebook altogether"

That sounds better.

Apple's alleged Kindle-crusher set for spring release?

I hope

it can be used as a giant iPod touch.

Swedish lactating bloke's dream turns sour

You could say

his plan went tits up.

NHS hurls iPhone into booze abuse fray

Has to be said

Cheers!

Windows 7 - Microsoft minus the martyrdom

This is not a bug

this is a feature

Johnson refuses to intervene in McKinnon extradition

Hello

Sorry für die schlechte Grammatik Mr Grammar Nazi

Maybe

it would of been a good idea if Gary didn't hack into the military computers right after 9/11.

What do you call a flash-based super?

FLASH

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Microsoft in Bing jingle kiddie vid outrage

WTF

Sums this up perfectly.

Mandy declares 'three strikes' war on illegal file sharers

Now

would be a good time to install that free Ghostsurf Platinum trial I have.

Dell unveils exclusive Microsoft-branded Ubuntu OS

Umm

"UBUNTU is not a Microsoft Windows operating system - and is not compatible with Microsoft Office programmes - so it's important you make the right choice:"

OpenOffice anyone?

What if you had a launch party and nobody came?

@ AC 15:15 gmt

If the cost of using linux is using sudo to install applications, I'm more than willing to sacrifice my windows machine crashing everyday for that.

UK fatties demand 'hate crime' status for lardo-baiting

Suggestion

Fat people could always, um, lose weight.

Paris, cause she knows how to deal with a fat one.

MoD 'How to stop leaks' guide leaks

Irony

This is it.

Reg reader turns 'homo devil machine' on eBayer

Ummm

I'm guessing the sign wasn't printed by a gay computer then.

Microsoft, Asus launch anti-Linuxbook campaign

Ummm

Isn't this just a smear campaign by Microsoft?

Hindus take divine mace to Sony Playstation

Wouldn't it be

more fun if you played as Jesus killing bad guys with guns?

Russian blows off ex-boyf's todger with firecrackers

Paris

Cause she knows how to blow up a todger without explosives