What if it was running Windows..?
"Hold on there sir, just need to check you out with my Tri-recorder. Oh wait a tick, it's still booting up.. Enter password.. Wait a few ticks.. No, I don't want to update my virus definitions.. Oh what's it done that for? No, cancel! Argh now it's frozen! Oh wait, no, it was just booting up Steam.. No, I don't want to take part in a HP survey.. What's it doing that for?? Blue screen of death?? Oh you f***ing piece of sh*t!! Damn you all to hell!!!
Sorry sir, it won't be much longer now.
..um, hello? Doctor, it happened again...."