* Posts by JShel

35 publicly visible posts • joined 12 May 2009

Robot footballers 'will beat Human Race first eleven by 2050'



You want to give them all our best tricks too?!


Am I the only one...

Why give it arms at all (other than goal keepers). doesn't need them for play. It must be quite a bit of programming to keep them out of the way. And if they are there for stabilization, a few gyros should do a better job.

Salvador Dalí style floppy iPad on the way, seemingly


Thank you, no...

I'm still waiting for the monkey butlers

Carnivorous plague mice 'wiping out towns' in US Midwest


That's all fine and well, but...

Can they figure out why they commit suicide under cars?

Drove out Interstate 80 in Neb/Col area, and there were many stretches of road 200-400 feet with literally hundreds of these guys turned to street pizza - a little slick to go over, BTW. Seemed strange, then on the way back, the same thing. But at one of these graveyards I see a little fella standing up on the shoulder, no cars in sight in front or behind, yet he times it perfectly to run under my wheels!

Made a quick backstory in my head though - he came upon the bodies if his slaughtered kin, and decided life was not worth living without them, and joined them when the next car came by...

US legalizes jailbroken iPhones

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Your Title Here

no, Jailbreaking a phone isn't NEEDED in France because they have to allow phones to use any network. That is only one of the two reasons folks jailbreak.

In France you still have to jailbreak to set up apps that Apple won't sell like the ones for tethering, etc. Is it legal for that purpose? I dont know French law, so I can't say. I also haven't seen the French warranty, but I'm sure Apple has something in there against jailbreaking anyhow.

Jobs Horns

Hey, Eddy...

I can imagine a much easier fix from Apple's point of view.

Add a line to the warranty related to jailbreaking, then next time you go for a software update instead of "fixing" your hack, Apple disowns you and will no longer update any software/firmware on that handset. Ever. Even after you sell it.

After all, if you decide to jailbreak their system, a conscious decision on your part, you obviously are only interested in the hardware - which there would still fall under the warranty of merchantability rules/laws. But the bits, well you'll have to "rely on the kindness of strangers."

Good luck with that.

I'm sure AT&T will come up with something unpleasant also.

Oklahoma granny sues cops over tasering

Black Helicopters

the real reason?

I always thought that the taserings are increasing as the good old-fashioned beat down is on the decline. After all it:

1. doesn't leave those massive bruises that prove what you did after the fact.

2. is entertaining while your target goes all jiggly

3. is perfect for the playstation generation - push button to perform an action remotely

and most importantly,

4. avoid the physical exertion involved in giving a beat down - keeping the fat on the pigs

Rainbow plane warps in from gay dimension


an additional bit

Since the RGB are almost aligned along the length of the fuselage (5 deg dif?), the two craft were probably running in almost exact opposite direction to each other, multiplying the speed difference.

Also, a camera that needs to combine these images will be calibrating itself to the altitude above the surface it is imaging, so something 1-10,000 feet short of the expected focus will also screw up the timing as well.

New York Times bans 'tweet'



They don't think ROFL is a word either!


The world's ugliest dog is dead



Remember, this is Pigeon Forge, TN.

Not only is 17 OK, it could even be a sister.

Y'all come back now, hear?

Facebook gives users' names to advertisers

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I am hoping

I am hoping it will merge to become "...Dumb Fucks...Bitch!"

Just keep piling on the boy genius' own words so we can bask in his reflected wisdom.



Probably he is just as bad today, since he never had to deal with any world but his own.

He went from douchebag student at a school that gives its students a feeling of privilege, straight to being the CEO...Bitch! of a company with enough money to literally wall himself off from the opinions of others. Age doesn't apply the gloss, so much as facing the harsh reality that the rest of the world is not impressed with you at all. Think about when you first went looking for a job, except for the top 5% it is a humbling experience - the first of many - that the majority of folks go through.

Has he ever 1) been in the presence of anyone who pointed out what a douche he is, and 2) if so, has he ever been in a position where he couldn't blow them off as "Dumb Fucks"?

Google TV: Android and Chrome on your boob tube

Big Brother


Someone start putting together the hack so we can disable the Google monitors when our providers force these on us.

That and some masking tape over he camera lens (they will of course need to track your eye movements to bill for hits)

NFC will help you find your car - if you're next to it


Not to be a bother,but...

assuming it worked at a distance (which it doesn't) if i wanted to adjust the climate, I would need to have the engine running, hence the key in the ignition, but somehow, I will have brought the fob with me, while leaving the car running elsewhere?


Tories buy YouTube home page


The learning continues...

I appreciate your efforts, but it seems only the Neds would be eligible to vote (and thus earn a party affiliation), the remainder are just there to be chased, Benny Hill style, by the BNPs into the Channel?


Aahh so that's how you split them up

As an American, I thought all your Tea Party types were in the BNP.

Now I see some of your distinctions:

Upper class twits = UKIP

Yobbos = BNP


Always enjoy learning about other cultures.

(yes, a rarity over here I know:)

Adobe CTO paints Steve Jobs as Big Brother

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Hear, Hear!!

It seems that that is up to the application developer no matter what can or cannot run on iPhone.

New drug spray 'makes men as soppy as girls'

Black Helicopters

GW Shrub missed out

Why waterboard? Give your "Guest" a shot of this and then threaten to put a sack of kittens in the drink if they don't tell us everything we want to know.

Other bonuses, leaves no marks, and if the video gets out, it will create a whole new meme on YouTube - blubbing terrorists

Hugo Chávez goes a-twittering


Mao had his Little Red Book..

maybe we can collect his outpourings into a volume as well.

I vote for "The Big Book of Twits"

One fifth of humans say aliens walk among us



Because they are dim government bureaucrats? Like dim government bureaucrats worldwide.

Seems like they should remove the others at some point. After all, the IRS eventually removed the line on the tax form where you enter your income from "criminal or illegal activity." After 10-15 years of nobody seriously checking the box, they'll figure it out. Now, if they actually distributed the declaration before you got on the plane, not 30 minutes before landing - there is some language about not being allowed on the plane depending on your answers. I'm still waiting for the report of someone being chucked off by a dim crew member taking it literally!

The one with the base jumper rig built in, thanks.

Black Helicopters

No, No, No...

He's yours, not all the nut jobs come from the US.

Austrian takes pickaxe to Street View spymobile


Apparently, so is language...

Sorry, but if you want to act superior and smug in pointing out the errors of others, you may want to understand the language you are using in your attempt to belittle them..

GEOGRAPHY is obviously what you should have said. In the US, TOPOGRAPHY relates to the physical features of the land. Geography refers not only to the physical features, but also the geopolitical as well. Not knowing the human construct of Austria, therefore has nothing to do with topography, which in the most general description is topographically mountainous.

Yes, Americans knowledge of the world is pretty lousy, but you demonstrate that being an ass knows no bounds.

And, to finish off in your own tone, I assume you would not mind if I refer to you as a lowlife, since you come from the lowlands?

iPad security broken in less than 24 hours


Yes an appliance

It should be fine for its purpose. I'd love to sit out back on a cool evening, and be able to do some browsing/reading, drink at hand.

You complaint sounds typical of the folks that do not understand that some products are focused on doing particular tasks, and are not supposed to be all things to all people. Have you ever wondered why you can't buy a riding cooker.

If you have to though, you you can always do your own genius hacks like this ;


Frisco fanboi frenzy on 'iPad Day'


You're missing the point

This is so when the fanbois next meet up at WWDC or a Trek Con, they can one up the others telling war stories of how they waited overnight to get their iPad, and it was horrifying the deprivations they went through - no more Red Bull?!?!?!, AT&T 3G clogged with the hundreds of fanbois tweeting about waiting on line, etc.

NY chef offers mam cheese canapes


Its special!

This is an upscale joint, ice cream won't do. Besides calling it gelato allows you to double the price...duh!

Antitrust incoming? Google hit by EU complaint, FCC filing


Just watch your screen

Plenty of the posters are citing Yahoo! and Bing showing preference for their own products, but that is just the tip of it.

Anyone remember the week the Nexus was announced? Were there any sites you went to that serves Google display ads that DIDN'T have ads for the Nexus on them? I only found it mildly annoying until I searched, then went to a site looking for care of bamboo plants, and there were Google served text and display ads for all sorts of plant care junk - AND the Nexus!

After that I was conscious of every one of their ads that showed up. Without fail if a site had display ads, at least one of them was Nexus regardless of the subject of the site. Became a bit of a challenge for me to find a topic on the web that was not deemed Nexus ad worthy.

Side note - with the rise of the Google apologists here, can we have an official designation for them? My vote is for Googleooids

Climategate witchhunt fingers scientist


The Denialists

turned the ice cap into a newt!

Obama plagiarist has a legal posse


I'll Second Cope...

but Rope sounds too much like Dubbya and Palin



Have been wondering for some time now when I hear Fairey /Obama issue come up why there isn't a mention of the folks HE sued for using his *ahem* Original work product.

I think his suits against the folks who modified his Obama/Hope image to Nope, Dope and Hype should be mentioned since their one character edits express a lot more political content than the artistic content of his tri-tone posterization, and appropriation of Obama's keyword ever conveyed.

RockYou hack reveals easy-to-crack passwords


Why not ms Vance?

She wrote the article on this in the NY Times today, conflict of interest, or has she left El Reg?

Inmate gets 18 months for thin client prison hack


Welcome to Mass.

The IT contract either went to the nephew of someone at the prison, or the IT firm that has been bribing State Senators for contracts :)

Will Ferrell is Hollywood's most over-rated overpaid star


@ is he funny

Unfortunately, that type of humor is very American. Over here many of the people need to be told what to feel or think, so they can fit in as a regular guy. Saddest comment I ever heard was from someone at a party saying that she liked the laugh track on sit-coms because then she knew when to laugh. Really.. someone did say that.

It is also why you will always export plenty of comedies here, because the rest of us (or should that be U.S.) enjoy laughs from a clever set-up, or witty banter, which more a staple of the Brit comedies.

iTablet suppliers named


Why is everyone going iTablet

Just because it is the category name. Somehow iPad sounds like something the marketing folks could run with,pay off the iPod etc..

Apple pulls Tank apps after Cartier complaint


@ Paul

And one for the old timers - IBM went after "2" as a registered trademark

Tram driver crashes while texting

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No...It's Just Boston

It is just the way they run things here. As long as things are manually operated they can give more no-work-required jobs to their kids and other relations.

When I moved here from New York I was floored when I saw the driver of one of these trams stop it, get out, grab a pry bar, throw the track switch with the pry bar, hang it up and get back in and resume driving. They cannot manage automated switching, so please don't expect them to figure out anything as advanced as safety systems.

The transit system here isn't designed to move people efficiently, just to drain taxes/fees to support the connected dim bulbs in the area.