* Posts by MattW

87 publicly visible posts • joined 4 May 2007


New iPad: The only review roundup you'll ever need


"It's just an iPad, FFS "

So the Reg isn't looking to get back into Apples good books any time soon?... :D

Motorola Motoluxe Android smartphone


Full sized SIM?

Scareware slingers stumped by Google secure search


Not on .co.uk

Google only defaults to https on google.com, If you're a logged in UK user on the .co.uk domain, you still default to unsecured http:

Russian Mars probe heads into space WITHOUT ENGINES


"and the insurance issue is settled"

Wonder if they stumped up for fully comp?...

Huge US command-&-control airship gets quantum optics


They're on to something

A big, slow, bag of gas with the manoeuvrability of a church must be a right bugger to shoot down.

Royal Navy halts Highlands GPS jamming


No sailors on here then?

Modern GMDSS radios take an input from a gps receiver and will initiate a geo located automatic distress call when a 'big red button' on the radio is pressed (say when the skipper has his hands a bit full trying to control his craft / not sink etc).

So gps disruption may effectively disrupt emergency calls.

This Dianamania is a slur on Jobs


I'm glad someone said it

Excellent article Andrew.

Defendant presents Playmobil rendering of court in court


Don't do it!

"Yeah, we know: Playmobil, or it didn't happen. A Playmobil representation of a woman in court presenting a Playmobil representation of the same scene? Hmmm..."

An infinite Playmobil recursion could open a rift in the space time continuum.

Hey Commentards! [This title is optional]


A travesty!

Was I first to comment on the comment story? Was I?

Facebook wannabe rioters cop large helpings of porridge



Keenan still has a presence on faceache:


Wonder what his status says?....

Pentax 645D medium format digital camera



Thanks for the review Catherine.

Selling Apples to Japan: Complicated as a Nipponese typewriter


Nothing new then

Looks like the Apple culture hasn't changed a lot (as evidenced with their vice-like control of newer 'i' devices).

"I want to do this"

"You can't"

"But why, it's a great idea"

"Because we say so"



Infinite monkeys

Given the infinite vastness of the universe (and hence the inevitability of intelligent life therein), the law of probabilities means that in an alien language it's certain the Nicole's innocent sounding phrase actually translates to:

"Bow before us alien underlings. We intend to launch an invasion force at our earliest possible convenience and you'll be sorry, mark my words"

I'm pretty certain that the 'revelation' due this week will be that they've spotted an alien invasion fleet intent of having a bit of a pre-emptive strike.

Firefox 4 Android beta gets stomach stapled



My Hero doesn't meed the minimum spec...

Bare breast ballot finds scant support in small US town



For pities sake, you might have warned us that gotopless.org was likely to contain nudity and be therefore NWS! Am I a mind reader?!!

Yes, of course I clicked on the link.

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II


Monkeys and typewriters

Oh, how I hate those predicable games.

EU to lift flight ban on carry-on liquids



Aren't duty free purchases ok because you've already gone through security and have bought them airside?

Have hordes of sex workers snubbed the Commonwealth games?


It's obvious...

Moonlighting athletes.

Kia POPs out see-through OLED dash readout


Oh my God

Square steering wheel!

Austin Allergic, sorry, Allegro!

It's doomed...

Giant vulture menaces Scottish skies


'Other pressures'

Is that 'other pressures' like getting T-boned by passing Airbuses?

Council urges army drinkers to break the law


They did him a favour

The pub is a dive - he should be thanking them for a narrow escape.

Our Vulture 1 aircraft begins to take shape



Your paper reinforcing 'brackets' at straw junctions are actually 'gussets'.

O2 limits unlimited broadband packages


Buy cheap, get cheap

Why are people surprised that their 'too good to be true!' super cheap 'unlimited' broadband turns out to be too good to be true?

You get what you pay for - go with Zen

Man uses meat cleaver to fashion UK-ready iPad


Everyone knows that

electricians diagonal cutters are the tool of choice for SIM customisation.

Jobsian Vendetta - Flash stabbed by Mac the Knife



Same story, different perspective?:


BT mops up after flood and fire



The wardens will have him - he's parked across two bays.

Climategate hits Westminster: MPs spring a surprise


Good summary

Nice write-up Andrew.

Thank God for Stringer.

BBC iPlayer rejects open source plugins, takes Flash-only path


I pay for this content BBC!

Looks like it's broken beebPlayer on Android too.

Words fail me with the BBC.

Intel says warranties evaporate when kit resold


Situation normal

Original purchaser warranties are vastly more common than transferable ones and apply to just about every item of consumer electronics you can think of.

About the only exceptions that spring to mind are cars and houses (I guess due to market pressure).

NHS hurls iPhone into booze abuse fray


I can be happy in my ignorance ...

... as they haven't made an Android version.

iPhone upgrades - a one-way control-freak street


One more reason

to go with an Android phone.

Sure they aren't as quite as slick as iPhones (yet) but at least you have control and don't have to repeatedly drop your trousers and let Apple have its way with you.

MS store staff in spontaneous electric boogie


My breakfast resurfaced

Words (almost) fail me.

What a nauseating experience I've just had - I couldn't force myself to watch to the end - make it go away.

Guardian recruits citizen journalists to cover Climate Camp


Just like the BBC

I can't be the only one who's irritated by the "were you there, do you have any pictures / videos" question tagged onto the bottom of most of BBC news on-line's 'breaking' stories.

Paris Airshow kicks off


I've never seen a rusty space rocket before

are they making them out of Iron these days

eBay put Skype on iPhone 'to boost price of NSA backdoor'


Just remind me

what's the date :)

Wallet-stretching li-ion G-Wiz e-car goes on sale


All the glamour of an orthapedic boot

and it cleverly sidesteps the road vehicle crash tests.

For the bargain price of 15 grand.

Can't see any downsides myself....

College IT departments told to deploy anti-terror dragnet


That's discrimination!

The Irish are going to feel really left out.

After all, they're all in the IRA aren't they?

UFO wind turbine prang site sealed


UFO's my ar*e

So one blade failing at the hub couldn't take out another as the windmill continued to rotate?

UFO damages Lincolnshire wind turbine


Occams razor

Let me see....

UFO's or mechanical failure? Ooh tricky.....

Follow the Somali pirate scourge via Google mashup


Ah, but.....

"In the meantime, fear not - the Reg will not be bulking out its coverage with any more non-digital piracy stories unless something out of the ordinary happens."

I like the pirate stories, especially when we have at the scurvy dogs and give them a jolly good thrashing.

Bring back the Somali pirates.

Bebo users release interstellar spamgasm at Gliese 581


Alien invasion is nigh

One look at the mindless bebo drivel stream and they'll fire up their starcruisers and pop over for some easy pickings.

Apple probes poison-pumping Mac claim



You don't want stuff doing that (or indeed evaporating).

Tiny MyCar named electric vehicle of the year


40 mile range?!

wouldn't even get me to work and back - what bl**dy use is that?

Cisco.com suffers lower case t breakdown


An ovewraed ler anyway

he world would be a beer place wihou 's

VoIP order to allow 999 calls and give caller location


Not according to Skype.....

Terms of Service: http://www.skype.com/intl/en-gb/legal/terms/voip/


1.1 No Emergency Calls: More important than anything: please remember that Skype does not support any emergency calls to any type of hospitals, law enforcement agencies, medical care unit or any type of emergency services of any kind. Skype is not a traditional telephone service or a replacement for Your primary telephone service. There are important differences between traditional telephone services and the Products. You need to make additional arrangements in order to access emergency services. It is Your responsibility to purchase, separately from the Products, traditional wireless or fixed line telephone services that offer access to emergency services. If, with Your permission, another user uses Your User Account or the Business Control Panel, it is Your responsibility to inform that user that it is not possible to support or carry emergency calls using the Products.

Yes, there was a viable liquid bomb plot


This is why I continue to read the Reg

Outstanding article.

El Reg net closes on Street View fleet


Not exactly stealthy are they

and must have a tough time with height barriers when they pop to Salisbury's for a lunchtime sandwich....

Byron Review will create videogame delays, warns EA


Byron Review will create videogame delays, warns EA

And this matters?

Get a life.

Why have Radiohead broken copyright activists' hearts?


You gotta love this comment...

"The only reason that music is so expensive now is the system of high barriers to entry that the music industry imposes"

What? Barriers like having some freaking talent?!!