The Register Home Page

* Posts by Mark McNeill

91 publicly visible posts • joined 29 Apr 2009

Page:

Anti-piracy laws will smash internet, US constitution - legal eagles

Mark McNeill
Big Brother

No small print needed

In practice, action will probably depend on the clout and credibility of the entity making the claim. If your ISP gets a letter from $BIGMEDIA threatening them with legal action over your website, they'll cave quicker than you can say "fair usage"; if Universal or Disney get a letter from you claiming infringement, it'll be in the bin before you've even finished licking the envelope.

Woz's key to success: Burn the tie, wear T-shirts to work

Mark McNeill
Trollface

O tempora o mores

It's "strait-laced", not "straight-laced". Strait means narrow or tight, confined, or strict. Straight means, er, straight.

Oh, and Woz, it's "want to", not "wanna". You'll never get anywhere using language like that.

Boffin bothers frogs until they spill super power secrets

Mark McNeill
Linux

"Why, yes, as it happens I am a Linux user. Why do you ask?"

iPad baby baffled by paper magazine

Mark McNeill
Flame

Three pretty obvious points

One, babies have always pointed at things.

Two, babies have always loved shiny moving things.

Three, what should we conclude? That we should dumb down interfaces to baby standards?

Don't buy your iPad in a McDonald's car park

Mark McNeill
Trollface

Value for money

It had an Apple logo on it, what more did she want anyway?

Tyneside police website defaced, used to serve phish

Mark McNeill
Linux

Lorem ipsum

And this story turned up in my newsfeed with an ad for Windows Server attached. Excellent targeted advertising!

UK could have flooded world with iPods - Sir Humphrey

Mark McNeill
IT Angle

Power To The People!

Nineteen posts so far, and none of them pays homage to the Tooting Popular Front? They had the right idea:

http://youtu.be/4TxZQClIqQY

BBC explains 'All your Twitter pics are belong to us' gaffe

Mark McNeill
Pirate

Lorem ipsum

""Twitter is a social network platform which is available to most people who have a computer and therefore any content on it is not subject to the same copyright laws as it is already in the public domain"

As it happens, I've found a fantastic platform which is available to most people who have a computer at http://www.bbc.co.uk/podcasts - can we assume that its content is in the public domain?

Atlantis computer goes down: Fixed by 'nauts

Mark McNeill
Coat

Hope they tried the Help facility first.

It looks like you're transferring cargo from the space shuttle to the ISS.

Would you like help with that?

The Osborne 1: 30 years old this month

Mark McNeill
Thumb Up

Happy days

"Portable as a suitcase full of bricks", people said at the time. The luggability wasn't an issue for my father and me (it never moved once from where we first installed it); what sold it for us was the software bundle, which was unique.

The tiny screen gave us pause. The salesman pointed out that text was the same size and legibility as newsprint: all the same, we splashed out on a whopping 9" green monitor. When that died, we never bothered replacing it. It was the easiest computer to maintain I've ever had: if I recall correctly, there were no software updates in nearly ten years use!

Eventually, of course, clients started asking for Windows-compatible files: we decided with some regret to retire the Osborne and buy an IBM PS/1, as I recall, running Windows 3.1.

(And that, gentle readers, was where our troubles began...)

Norwegian MP nominates Wikileaks for Nobel Peace Prize

Mark McNeill
Coffee/keyboard

the Dali Llama

Playmobil figure pliz!

US lawmakers eye internet 'kill switch'

Mark McNeill
Big Brother

Have you tried switching it off and on again?

Can't have independent media, now can we? It's not exactly unheard of for anti-terrorist legislation to be used to keep the proles down.

"...the Internet would need to be shut down to prevent further damage to the country, which apparently can no longer function without the Net..." - "In order to save the village, it was necessary to destroy it."

"...those bills were tabled": I do not think that word means what you think it means. In the UK, to table an issue means to put it on the table for discussion. Where a USAian would say "those bills were tabled", we would say "those bills were shelved".

Android bites big chunk out of Apple iPad market share

Mark McNeill
Pint

I'll have a P please, Bob

"Android came equally out of nowhere to capture 2.3 per cent of the market with total shipments of 2.3 units". So, um, not a huge market, then.

Pint because a nice bitter would be about 2.3 units.

DDoS attack, sex warrant won't stop Assange's leaky discharge

Mark McNeill
Linux

A new game to play with any news item

"What dumb knee-jerk response is Sarah Palin going to make to it?"

Seagate DeLorean: World's priciest hard drive?

Mark McNeill
Boffin

Of course,

if you spin the platters up to 8800rpm you can retrieve that file you accidentally deleted. Except that your USB connection has to deliver 1.2GW.

Chicago officer beats off dildo-wielding bill-skipper

Mark McNeill
Paris Hilton

Rigid but wobblesome

It's perfectly possible to conceive of a device, member or extremity which is intrinsically or under certain circumstances rigid, but flexibly attached to a handle, body, arm or control device, which makes it act in a wobblesome manner, particularly when waved.

Paris. Do I need to draw pictures?

Super-tough wireless sensors 'to be dropped into volcanoes'

Mark McNeill
Coat

That's canny hard like

Next up: Newcastle University sensors dropped into the Arctic Ocean wearing a strappy top and a pair of white stilettos.

Howay man, mine's the t-shirt with the snow on it.

Google squirrels into human brains with Scribe experiment

Mark McNeill
Boffin

riverrun

past Eve and Adams, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth, Castle and Environs. Sir Tristram, violer d'amores, fr'over the short sea, had passencore rearrived from North Armorica on this side the scraggy isthmus of Europe Minor to wielderfight his penisolate war; nor had topsawyer's rocks by the stream Oconee exaggerated themselse to Laurens County's giorgios while they went doublin their mumper

Sussex police try new tactic to relieve snappers of pics

Mark McNeill
Linux

If you've got a clever phone & a decent signal

http://www.miqlive.com.

Retired joint chiefs chairman dons a Red Hat

Mark McNeill
Linux

Subtractive mixing?

I for one welcome our new brown-hatted overlord. Doesn't sound right, somehow.

Wiki crew launch attack on FBI official seal bluster

Mark McNeill
Coat

Nice bit of law from Mike Godwin

Nothing about Nazis in there though.

Mine's the one with the copy of "Downfall" in the pocket.

Lord Peter views the logfile

Mark McNeill
Linux

(untitled)

"To look at the bland expression of polite interest on Wimsey's face, one would have garnered no clue that he belonged to one of England's great Unix families, who had never so much as knowingly used Internet Explorer, much less installed Windows."

You've cheered my morning no end. Chapeau!

Microsoft dubs Windows Phone 7 'ad serving machine'

Mark McNeill
Linux

Hear that sound?

That's the sound of the world's smallest open-source violin.

New cycle helmets emit stench if they need replacement

Mark McNeill
Boffin

I'd be interested to hear your stats

As I recall, rates of deaths and serious injuries in the various Australian states fell when helmets became compulsory, by about the same % that levels of cycling fell: in other words, the individual risk wasn't materially changed. Of course, we could reduce the stats for deaths in pretty much *any* activity by doing something to discourage 30% of participants.

If you have different or more up-to-date data, I'd be interested to hear: I've changed my mind once on this matter, and I'll do it again if the evidence supports it.

Mark McNeill

That's right.

My head came within a couple of inches of the ground at low speed, but didn't hit. If I'd been wearing a helmet, I might have hit my head, with unknown, but probably minor, consequences. No consequences is better than unknown-but-probably-minor, in my book.

The plural of anecdote is not data; and so far I've heard no data here, only anecdote. The onus is on those who think that helmets do good to provide evidence to support their view.

Mark McNeill
Boffin

By the way, just so everyone's aware

Small-scale elective studies indicate that cycle helmets may alleviate serious injuries: large-scale population studies indicate they don't. The risks are in any case very small; and in the couple of minor accidents I've been involved in in my life, I was glad not to be wearing one.

Steve Jobs talks Flash, 'lying S.O.B' devs, sex, and Gizmodocrime

Mark McNeill
Joke

Well, he is hard of hearing

Steve's enigmatic last response:

"Are you feeling betrayed?" != "Are you getting laid?"

Windows 3.0 turns 20

Mark McNeill
Linux

I was just talking about this in the pub

of how, after eight or nine years using CP/M at work, I was suddenly introduced to a graphic interface. That was the biggest shock I experienced in computing: moving some years (and versions of Windows) later to Linu^H^H^H^H a better OS was nothing in comparison.

Ubuntu's Lucid Lynx stalks PC and Mac converts

Mark McNeill

Yes:

I followed the installation instructions to the letter; when the scanner wasn't detected I tried the latest drivers, with no success.

Mark McNeill
Linux

Ho yuss

WIndows never detected all the functions of my HP multifunction printer, but Linux picked it up perfectly, and it's worked flawlessly for the last couple of years.

This *proves* that Windows will never be ready for the desktop. Or something.

Jesus descends to Google Earth

Mark McNeill
Pint

I can get you a toe, believe me.

They may *look* like Jesus, but they usually turn out to be either Frank Zappa or The Dude. This one's Zappa, you can tell by the nose.

Austrian takes pickaxe to Street View spymobile

Mark McNeill
Badgers

word geek

Estivation, not summer hibernation.

Computer Engineer Barbie coming soon to a toy store near you

Mark McNeill
IT Angle

Sorry, but

if she's not wearing a pizza-stained FSF t-shirt and carrying a major source of caffeine, my cash is staying in my re-purposed 8-inch floppy-drive moneybox.

Combat games disrespect war laws, report claims

Mark McNeill
Grenade

They covered that 13 years ago

From the Quake manual:

Q: Don't you worry that Quake teaches people that all problems can be solved by the misuse of deadly force?

A: No.

["And may it please the court, I would like 218500 other offences to be taken into consideration..."]

MS store staff in spontaneous electric boogie

Mark McNeill
Linux

First Family Guy, then the Launch Party...

and now this. Has the Microsoft marketing department been infiltrated by the Rebel Alliance?

And what next? I'm guessing something starring Steve Martin, but that's just me.

Spanish Army builds ant-colony AI conquistador algorithm

Mark McNeill
Linux

All together now:

I, for one, welcome our new insect conquistadors.

Female fruitbat fellatio frenzy: 70% give head

Mark McNeill
Paris Hilton

I can imagine...

...next year's IgNobel ceremony being illegal in some jurisdictions.

Paris, because - no, it's gone.

Microsoft ropes in Family Guy to pimp Windows 7

Mark McNeill
Flame

They've been there, surely

Hasn't MacFarlane already covered Windows?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4m31d7fESNk

Microsoft hosts Feynman lecture series

Mark McNeill
Linux

Sorry, your browser is not compatible.

You're using Feynman to send a great message there, Bill.

Steve Jobs spotted at Apple HQ

Mark McNeill
Linux

Get well soon

and I hope that the new liver is thinner, weighs less, and metabolises even faster than the old one.

Pig plague and Twitter: The terrifying truth

Mark McNeill
Dead Vulture

and you didn't mention

http://xkcd.com/574/

That is all.

Page: