* Posts by Nick

45 publicly visible posts • joined 3 May 2007

Apple power brick sparks lawsuit


How you treat it?

Surely a power cable should be designed to be treated in the way that most users treat them - winding it up and unravelling it every day, and the ocasional yank where someone trips over it. If it can't stand up to that usage, then it needs to be a stronger design.

Those who don't have this problem because their laptoprarely leaves their desk - Isn't the whole point of a laptop to be able to take it (and the power supply) with you?

BOFH: Spontaneous Legal Combustion


Platinum Cookie

Where do I get one of those platinum cookies?

Lotus offers to end e-car silent running


Michael Stipe

Didn't you run a story that silent electric cars should have ringtones to warn pedestrians?

Oh, yes, there it is over 4 years ago: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/09/28/electric_car_ringtones/

Can I have mine in Phantom Menace Pod Racer mode? And can I replace the horn sound with that of a laser blaster?

PS3 players prefer gaming to bonking



I thought that 32% was somewhat of a minority.

Surely the title should be "Most PS3 players prefer shagging"

UFO fleet menaces east London


It's the Red Arrows

The Red Arrows fly in that formation.

They don't appear in focus probably because streetview cameras won't be set up to capture things moving that fast, or up high. (It's a similar effect to when a person blinks when taking a slow exposure of their eye -a brown eye can look blue)

All the people in the street are watching them, or taking photos (although the Alien death ray has disrupted the photographer's legs on the corner of the road)

I for one welcome out formation flying overlords!

BOFH: Defiling the profile



That was laugh out loud funny - as in it made me actually laugh out loud, not just the "mildly amusing" which people usually mean by "laugh out loud funny".


and keep it up!

'Nanodiamond' asteroid tracked from space to desert impact

Paris Hilton

Heathrow Airport Sized?

So that's about 46 Brontosauruses long then is it?

Use the correct measurements please.

Paris because the meteorites would have been Hot! Hot! Hot!

WAG sues CPW for phone pic nick

Paris Hilton


This Article Is Useless Without Pics

Why on earth did she give her phone to somebody without removing the pics first

Paris, because it's got to be really

London to get EV charging post network


Have we moved stateside?

The last time I read a dictionary, London was the Capital of England, not the Capitol!

Evoasis may be an american company, and their press release may have been spelt in american, but neither London or the Register are american. Please get the Moderatrix to discipline Alun forthwith!

Thank you.

Oh, and the artist's impression of the charging station seems to have missed out the charging posts - they're red in the first diagram, but no red in the second.

I hope the roof is made of PV cells.

And, in common with all artist's impressions and architects drawings, they've missed out the urban tumbleweed, vagrants, dog crap, pavement pizzas and other urban accoutrements which will inevitably surround the place.

ID and Passport Service brings in ad men


Why does IPS need to advertise?

Why do they need to advertise?

What will they say? "If you need a passport, don't go to our competitors for one. Get your passport from us. We're much better value than anyone else!"

But: Oh, they haven't got any competition. They're the only option if you want a passport.

I can only assume that it's more of an advert to improve public perception that the cost of a passport and the need for ID cards are justified.

Cebit 09 too dead to trash says Greenpeace


re: Offending the Germans?

"...his fellow German speakers"? Schwarzenegger is Austrian.

Well, he'd probably be a German speaker then. What with German being the official language in Austria.

That's "German" the language, not "German" as in "From Germany"

US warboffins update Where Eagles Dare gizmo-bombs



I hope the timer has a large red LED display showing how much time is left to detonation. Otherwise people won't be able to defuse it with only 2 seconds left.

The Borings renew Street View fight


Private Road Sign

So there's a dispute about whether there was a private road sign. surely the easiest way to settle that is to look on the Google streetview images!

Brit nuke subs exposed on Google Earth


Aliens already found SAS

Look at the crop circles in the NE corner of the pic.

I don't think there's anything available on Google earth which a well organised terrorist cell could find out for themselves.

It's one thing to see an aerial photo of something, but another thing to figure out whether it's a sleeping barracks/ missile facility/ heavily reinforced concrete bunker/ WMD creation facility -

It takes a lot of skilled photo interpretation and then political interference to figure out what something actually is.

Police search another Tory MP's office



It seems to me that it's more likely that the police went to see him, asked him for the letter, and he gave it to them. Then he thought about it and thought "Perhaps I shouldn't have done that so easily. Perhaps they should have had a warrant. Perhaps I can get my name in the papers for this."

419ers take Canadian for $150,000


This is not a crime...

It's a tax on stupidity!

One-eyed woman wants techno-vision


We are the Borg. Resistance is futile.

Does she look like Seven of Nine?

Pictures please!

York council gets sniffy with Street View


Need a licence to take photos?

I can see that they'd need permission to drive down the pedestrianised areas, but does the council think its powers extend to stopping people from taking photos?

Next we'll have people being arrested for using a camera in a public place. Well, they could be peadophile terrorists!

Woman cuffed for deleting virtual husband


RM -R *

So, he willingly gave her his username and password, and now it's a crime for her to delete some files for him?

Some people really need a life!

Radiation warning for low-energy lightbulbs


30 Centimetres?

What are these strange centimetre things of which you speak? I think you mean just over two Linguini.

Who uses a lamp that close anyway?

US boffins: Laptops will be as hot as the Sun by 2030



Surely the heat output of a processor is a function of the power input? In order to be as hot as the sun, either the battery life will be miniscule, or the power supply will be huge.

Have they done a straight line extapolation from historic and existing temperatures? That sort of reasoning seems a little flawed - a bit like saying that because cars are safer now than they were 20 years ago, by 2030, it will be possible to drive a car into a wall at full speed without any injury.

Chrysler grows iPod Peapod


Top speed

Its top speed of 25mph means that it doesn't require airbags, which means it can't travel on freeways.

Can't it travel on freeways because of the lack of airbags, or because only doing 25mph on a freeway would be suicide?

Gordon Brown's secret life as network admin



I didn't miss the 5 year / 4 year thing. Although now everyone probably wonders what I was on about as it's [*] been changed.

(that is - "it has" - the apostrophe signifies ommision of " ha")


2012 in five years' time?

<pedant> what calendar are you using?

Well done for getting the apostrophe correct though </pedant>

Blinking to replace remote controls, claims Japanese boffin


This has already been given the kiss of death...

Because I saw a similar thing demonstrated on Tomorrow's World! It was a product for disabled people to use instead of a computer mouse and worked on following the direction of gaze to point, and wink to click. They had someone demonstrating it by playing solitaire. It must have been ages ago as they were using windows 3.11.

Morgan shows 'light & slippery' fuel-cell car concept


@JonB - only 22 kW

I think they meant that's not much - for a car. It's only about 30bhp, which is puny for a conventional car (unless it's 40 years old - my old 1971 Hillman Imp had 39!)

Most production Morgans at the moment have between 190 and 333 bhp, so that's whay it seems to be "Only 22kW"

MS takes Windows 3.11 out of embed to put to bed


Long Gone!?

We're still here. I remember using (and crashing) Windows 3.11. I remember being impressed with using a GUI for the first time instead of using DOS.

And at 38, I didn't think I was THAT old!

Rabbit murderer stalks Ruhr Valley


Satellite Images

"the perpetrator might be using net satellite images to pinpoint hutches."

I wish the satellite imagery available on the net in my area was good enough to pinpoint a rabbit hutch. I can barely see my garage on google maps or live.com mapping.

Eco-satnav software solves 'drive or walk' decisions


Carbon emmissions

Well, according to that screenshot, that car outputs 1150g/km of CO2. Is it a Humvee? I thought mine was bad at 240g/km!

Government orders data retention by ISPs


the Home Office would not release details of the bill?

"The Home Office would not release details of the Bill and how it would work"

If it's going to be a law, then surely it'll be written down there for anyone to see. Or is it one of those "Unwritten" laws?

PETA offers $1m for test tube chicken

Dead Vulture

Douglas Adams got it right:

Instead of worrying about the issue, why don't they cut through the whole tangled problem and breed an animal that actually wants to be eaten and was capable of saying so clearly and distinctly.

(Restaurant at the end of the universe)

Dead vulture, cos it'll "Taste like chicken"

Oz to get satnav cemetery for Down Under dead


Now That's what I call...


Apprentice contestant to offer Zeppelin trips above London


I Am... Your Boss

"I am - your boss"

"You're nothing to me"

BBC races away with five-year F1 rights deal


I just hope that

they manage to get Murray Walker back over to commentate. I've watched Grans Prix on TV in other countries, and it's not the same without him.

Yes! It's the vacuum cleaner mouse!



Why on earth would anyone want to clean their mouse mat while they work?

Beeb censors Fairytale of New York


What about...

Dire Straits' Walk of Life - "See the little faggot with the ear ring and the makeup? ... that little faggot he's a millionaire"

Looks like a publicity stunt for BBC if you ask me.

Carphone slated over iPhone porkies claim



Surely, if you've lost / broken the handset in order to claim on the insurance, then you won't ba able to / want to keep the subsidised handset.

Unless of course, you're not only suggesting, but admitting insurance fraud?

Perhaps this is why we keep hearing stories of how careless people are with their phones.

iPhone to get 3G in May 2008


Not A Suprise!

No suprise there then! Just a chance to sell everyone (well, the iFanboys) a phone, then sell them a 3G one six months later, then in late 2008, Apple will put a decent camera on it, and they'll buy it again!

Isn't there an iCon for iPhone

US man blasts stubborn wheelnut with shotgun


And he didn't think of using

A bloody long torque wrench?

Or failing that, a cutting torch to burn the nut off?

Master crim leaves vital clue at scene of burglary


Who's going to pay for the rest of the damage?

Caused damage totalling £2,175

Each ordered to pay £750 compensation

By my reckoning, that leaves £675 worth of damage for someone else to pay for.

Boy racer cuffed for 140mph YouTube jaunt


New Offence?

So is the offence:

a- "having posted a video of himself on YouTube driving at speeds of more than 140 mph"

b- dangerous driving / speeding, and the YouTube video used as evidence

c- just being a muppet

140mph out of a Ford Escort? I presume it was of the Cosworth variety!

Restored Dam Busters fly again


@National Anthem

Perhaps we should change the national anthem to the dambusters theme (Complete with hands rotated about face to form flying goggles with elbows as wings)

Orange dismantles Bristol Tower of Doom



Orange, Vodaphone, O2 and T-Mobile should all join together and remove (or turn off) the cells which cover the 'tower of doom'. Then we can all look forward to the local papers reporting about how bad mobile reception is in that area.

Home Office wants officials to watch more TV


Politicians should watch more TV

That's just what Richard Curtiss said in his speech at the Baftas this week!

Intel consigns Cornish town to oblivion


And what's the first hit?

The top of a search on penryn is El Reg's very own reghardware site! Expect to see yourselves banned from Cornwall!