* Posts by Mothballs

24 publicly visible posts • joined 6 Apr 2009

F-B-Yikes! FBI bod allegedly hid spy camera under desk to snap coworker's upskirt pics


Bathe it daily?

The flash was a bit of a giveaway.

Which scientist should be on the new £50 note? El Reg weighs in – and you should vote, too


And the winner is...

Jethro Tull gets my vote. Not only did he invent the Seed Drill, which revolutionised agriculture in the 18th century, but he was also quite good at playing the flute while standing on one leg.

123-Reg customers outraged at automatic .UK domain registration



I haven't used 123-Reg since they sold one of my fully paid-up, parked domains to someone else. They said sorry and blamed a system error, but that was enough to show me exactly the kind of outfit I was dealing with.

TomTom update breaks satnav live links

Paris Hilton

TomTom's lost it

This is merely the latest episode in a long line of tomfoolery. Their system still refuses to recognise my Go530T as eligible for Traffic updates since they inadvertently managed to disable that function with a similarly half-baked update some time ago.

Paris, because that's probably where you'd end up when driving to Penzance.

Edward Woodward dies at 79



Farewell, Edward Firewood.

Virginia corrections officers on 'dog fondling' rap

IT Angle

A pedigree chum

All together now, "Nick nack paddiwack..."

Windows 7 - The Reg reader review redux

Thumb Up

Shakey start

I must confess to having an underwear-threatening moment during the upgrade from Vista. When prompted to plonk in the magic number, it advises you not to type the dashes as they'd be inserted automatically - they weren't.

Apart from that, and the extra steps now required to accomplish a basic task, it's worth the money to finally have a stable, fully-functioning and much more responsive system.

Windows 7 - the Reg reader verdict


Just Another Lemming

The very instant that Amazin' finally gets its act together and lets me have my pre-ordered Upgrade version of the W7 upgrade, I'll be dropping it over the top of Vista on this box, while fervently hoping it doesn't all end in tears. I therefore confidently predict that this thread will be dead and buried long before I'm fully up and running again with a shiny new OS.

As a committed Luddite, I'm open to any and all suggestions as to how I can stick with the 'Classic' interface I've insisted on clinging to, despite improvements that Redmond keep trying to foist on me with each successive version of Windows.

Answers, on a postman, to...

IETF forges botnet clean-up standard


Licensed To Kill

In the real world, before anyone's allowed to drive a car they must take a competence test in order to acquire a licence. Then, if they screw up, the licence attracts penalty points until it's eventually taken away and they're prevented from driving for a while.

So why not send first-time computer users and their thumbprints off to web-wisdom school?

An ISP should then be required to see a user's licence before letting them loose on the web. Consequently, if the user gets a dose and doesn't clean up their act, they should be issued a warning and some idiot points - too many points and they lose their connection. In that way the dangerously stupid can be prevented from arsing things up for their peers.

Call me a control freak, but I've suddenly gone all Biometric. Let's not put the government in charge of such a scheme though, eh?

New Guinea sex cult eyes bumper banana crop


Fyffe knuckle shuffle

They sound like a slippery bunch.

TomTom goes Jock to abuse English 'bas'


Humble Pie, or Pork?

TomTom have now apologised - fair enough. However, since the explanation given in their apology differs from the explanation they gave in their original excuse, would it be terribly uncharitable of me to assume that at least one of those explanations must be a porkie?

I could forgive a little bit of creativity from their PR department after such an almighty b*lls-up, but even the new map they were announcing now seems to have been nothing more than a figment of someone's fevered imagination over there at Muppet Labs.

Paris - because that's where you'd end up if looking for Bristol.

Good Housekeeping readers play hunt the G-spot



My wife has no need for such devices, preferring instead to use a pole. I have, of course, complained to their embassy.

Boozy chess grandmaster passes out mid-game

Thumb Up

Check, please.

I once did something very similar during a game of Dominoes in a North-east pub one Sunday lunchtime. I don't recall any press involvement.

Zombie plague analysed by Canadian maths prof

Big Brother

I have a cunning plan...

Why not take away their driving licences?

Shop risks legal action for posting 'shoplifter' CCTV online


Extreme shopping

Why not take things to their logical conclusion and start calling "stock shrinkage" by its real name?

Aussie woman's toilet trauma prompts lav-overhaul call



This problem could be easily solved if they designed smaller Australians.

Airbed-fixing German blows up mattress flat


No rest for the wicked

Does he plan to li lo for while?

Orange UK exiles Firefox from call centres


Pipped off

Whilst I commend Orange for employing people with learning difficulties, I'm still trying to get them to restore access to my email which they broke when 'upgrading' my mobile account at the beginning of May.

Could we fix the important stuff first, please?

Western Digital slips todger to horrified Brit


You call that hardware?

Willy get a replacement?

ASBO woman cuffed over raucous rumpy-pumpy


Perhaps I've just been unlucky, but...

Don't all 'women of a certain age' make loud moaning sounds?

UK agent leaves secret drugs info on bus

Paris Hilton

Memory like a whassaname

It's easily done. I once went to work without my sandwiches.

Teenage hacking menace jailed for 11 months


Come Uppance

I'm sure he'll prove so popular in jail that he won't want to sit at a keyboard after his release - or sit anywhere for that matter. Result!

Olympic cock-up knocks East London off Internet


Loneliness of the long-distance punter

It's quite a coincidence how the three of us whose webs went missing for an entire weekend all live in Dorset. I firmly believe this warrants investigation at the highest levels, or something.


ISPs Shafted

As result of this particular piece of contractual shafting, customers of the ISP Namesco and others enjoyed a lost weekend from around 1pm on Saturday until 3am this morning. Luckily, a recorded message on its telephone support line directed customers to a helpful page of updates.