Posts by Camilla Smythe

London's e-van drivers club together

Do deal with London E-Train Drivers

For Onion Membership.

Phorm gets £15m lifeline

Please Enable JavaScript

http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/2177/capture4y.png

How would you like me to enable it?

JavaThing did update itself this morning so... Maybe Phorm is not up to speed on the latest JavaThing.

Perhaps JavaThing got updated due to security issues and is now flagging Phorms webshite as being untrusted content and therefore ignoring it.

Tell you what Phorm.... why not disable yourselves.

Still. Nice to see that 'Phorm WebWise Discover' is sooooooo bleeding edge that it does not work. Well done Sun.

Wonder what Phorm shareholders feel about Phorms FlagShip product not Phucking Working because JavaThing is not enabled when JavaThing IS?

Oh...... you can see it coming!!!!

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/06/02/nebuad_and_resurrection/

Here we go three, four eight.

Phorm *is* about to go down the pan. This is the setup for the stitch up of shareholders. If it is not done via NebuAdd or Insight Ready then it will be done by a 'Ready Made' company set up just before they 'steal' the company on the basis of a 'Pre-Pack'.

Company is now 'in debt' to 'creditors' under what is termed a 'floating charge'. Creditors convert the 'floating charge', i.e. call the debt in. Phorm can't pay. Creditors slap Phorm into administration. You wan't to see how fast that can happen????

It only takes a day!

Administrators need to 'sell' company and smarm about keeping it as a going concern and maintaining the number of employees and servicing customers. Look around for offers on the table.

The only one is coming from the creditors.

Administrators sign the company over to the creditors for what is effectively zero money.

"We are pleased to announce that we have managed to keep the company as a going concern with all staff in employment and customers happy. Shareholders will get Jack Shit"

Now Phorm has cleared all its debts and pissed off the Shareholders. It belongs to the 'new' named pre-pack company under private ownership, that or maybe Insight Ready??

BT/Virgin/Talk Talk et al suddenly stop dithering and sign up to the service. Full steam ahead.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Now what I've said above might be slightly contentious regarding publishing it so I would not blame The Reg if they don't but have a look around for what happened recently at Axeon Holdings. Check out how a pre-pack can be and is mis-used and then see if 2+2 = PROFIT

Otherwise if you do publish and someone, more knowlegeable, picks up on it and tests for fesibility then..... fingers crossed. They will be caught before they try it. The share will get shorted to buggery and then suspended and.... hopefully someone will get prosecuted.

Still the shareholders get shafted, although they deserve it for investing in such shit. Then the company still gets bought out of administration for nothing and BT et Al carry on with the master plan.

:-(

Hmmmmm.......

http://img230.yfrog.com/img230/3030/capture3.png

Well, at least that's the lights taken care of.

Facebook to offer vanity URLs

Copy Cats

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/06/09/register_comments_handling/

Still at least Steven could have become 'Steve_ is_ Brill' rather than Steven003.

Millions opted into UK mobile phone directory

Hmmmmm Broken Business Model

"Hi CompanyX. Would your business plan be viable if you used opt-in?"

"No!"

"You therefore do not have a viable business plan. Refused."

"Hi CompanyX. Would your business plan be viable if you used opt-in?

"Why..... errrr yes!"

"Why are you using opt-out?"

"Errrrr."

"Still since it works under opt-in you may operate on that basis."

"Buh-buh-buh...."

"Problem?"

Anyway it would be interesting to see what their business model is and whether it is viable on the sole basis of people wanting to pay the call charges to find out if their 'mates' number is on an undisclosed list that is not guaranteed to be on and then pay £1 to have a text message with their details sent to what is likely to be an out of date or incorrect number.

Face what might be facts. You know the mobile phone numbers of the people who are important to you. Anyone else, there is hardly likely to be much urgency involved so you would probaly avoid the cost and uncertainty and contact them for the number in a different manner... assuming they wanted to give it to you in the first place.

So..... does this look like a business model that, even with opt-out, when based on uncertain data is going to generate a business sustaining income?

I notice that their FAQ page says that if you make the enquiry via the website then the charge is £1. What if you dial them.... from your mobile. Pick 75p connection charge and add 75p per minute their side. Say it is two minutes, if they don't keep you hangin on the line [not that they would just to screw more money out of you?] so you are up to £2.25.

Virgin mobile will 'apparently' charge you a 75p connection charge and 75p per minute for dialling 118 if you call from your mobile. Hmm maybe that includes both sides but... I'm feeling nasty and anyway it's less profit for the dirt on the other side so I am sure it all comes out in the wash.

http://www.118tracker.com/mobile.shtml

Now we are up to £4.50. Add on the £1.00 for the SMS and that's £5.50 blown away and you are still not gauranteed a right answer or a result.

How often, at that rate, are you likely to do that? Even if you 'joined' and used the web interface you are not exactly going to spuke money in their direction. How often do you 'need' to know someone's mobile number? Once you have got it, again assuming it works, what's the 'repeat business' going to be like?

Let's 'guess' 60 million people in the UK....

http://www.statistics.gov.uk/cci/nugget.asp?ID=6

20% under 16 gives us 48 million

http://www.csu.nisra.gov.uk/Mobile_phone_ownership_by_sex_and_age_Trend.htm

84% in the range 16-Dead gives us just over 40 million possible customers. What's a good percentage for the number of people who are going to use this service from their mobile..... once? Is 1% generous? I think it is.

So that is 400,000 customers @ £3.25 for turnover of £1.3 Million. After that the business goes tits up because there is no repeat business. On the web? Who knows but I'd doubt it's going to skew the figures that much.

That's about 1110 enquires a day. Call it a 12 hour day.. 90 calls an hour. Three minutes on each call. 20 calls per member of staff so.... about 5 staff on the lines. National minimum wage, you don't really think they are going to outsource this do you? 1 supervisor @ £35,000, office plus tech staff @ £40,000. Basic anual wage cost £200,000. Add 20% for tax NI and such stuff... £240,000. Add 25% for operating costs, offices etc £300,000.

Add in the four[?] execs at £100,000 a pop and we are up to £700,000... May as well lay in another £100,000 for their 'staff', bottom wipers, and that will be £800,000 first year operating costs with £1.3 Million turnover that is net profits of £500,000 before tax and then the company dries.....

I'd guess we are looking at something that is not viable as a business? Or, and I would not be surprised, maybe my figures are wrong.... However I just do not see it working. How much have the 'investors' bunged these people??

So... what might 'really' be happening?

Lets say these people have 'scraped' up various lists, cheap, from all the sources of 'marketing contacts' they can. Now they need to 'sanitise' the data. First off we need to get rid of the ones that are wrong or don't exist anymore. It would also be good if we could verify current details about the ones we have got and, whilst we are at it dragnet a greater number of 'marks'.

Hmmm OK let's set up a Mobile Directory with an opt-out so people come to our website to... opt-out or in [natch]. Get the details off them, shunt it through the data we do have, 'loosley' cross-reference things and what do we get out the other side.....?

We paid £5.00 per thousand for dirty data. Let's say..... woopsy.

"Hello Mr Home Improvement Company. What would you pay for verified names addresses and numbers of people who bought double glazing in the last five years."

"Oh, well we get something like a 10% conversion rate for those with an average spend of £500 pounds. Uhm we'll deal you 20% so how about £100 per thousand? Can we try some out first to see how it goes?"

"Sure how about 1000 and, if you pay £150 for them we'll group them close to your operating centers and... we'll knock that down to £125 since you are going to... errr, if you tell us what they buy from you?"

"Deal!"

So... that will be £125 for an outlay of £5 OK, so I haven't included costs but if you are charging people to sanitise their own data and then making a little bit on top of that.... So... that will be £125 for an outlay of £5.

Run that to a Million numbers and.... £125,000. Do it for 10 outlets in one product area and that will be £1.25 million. Take 10 product areas and that will be £12.5 million. Run the data you generate from sales and demographics back through the system to make the data 4 times more reliable and that's £60 million.

Do it on 5 million numbers and we are up to £120 million. Run 'the scheme' three times a year and £360 million. Start including land line numbers and mass mail marketing and presto! What was once only worth a one off £500,000 has become a BILLION pound a year on year money spinner!!!!!111!!!

Did I hear someone say PROFIT!? Hmmm... perhaps the numbers are making me dizzy

Someone else on commenting on another article on El Reg gave this link....

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1741347

Where someone else quotes Wikipedia [yaw hawk spit]...."Wikipedia's plain English version of the act: "Data may only be used for the specific purposes for which it was collected.""

No worries. You [did not] did too give your permission for your details to be used for home improvement products. See, says so here.... you bought double glazing. We got your data, you sanitised it for us so now we have sold it on, at a huge profit compared to what we bought it for, so you are getting lots of calls from companies selling home improvement products. See, all legal and above board.

Anyway we don't give a shit, we are on a Billion a year. Do we look bothered. DO WE?

Doesn't look very Fly by Night to me...

http://wck2.companieshouse.gov.uk/2ba7ccfd5f578e8996268da12720477e/wcprodorder?ft=1

Here's an Idea for them

When people opt out via the website give them a random 38 digit alphanumeric password in order to protect their privacy. I'm afraid I'll have to insist on this because you don't know who might choose to opt you back in again so you are protected. Then they can opt you back in and claim that it was you who did it because the person had the right password. Of course they will be happy to opt you back out.... all they need is your 40 digit alphanumeric password. What do you mean you've forgotten it? What do you mean its only 38 digits long? Sorry sir if you can't verify yourself with your password then.... you know, privacy and data protection and stuff.

Take off and Nuke them from Orbit

You know its the only way.

I would like to be more constructive but dealing with people prepared to squirm a profit out of such practices will only result in a lot of drawn out wiggling, weaseling and zero action. All indicators are that they are going to opt people who's information they have in to all the 'services' they provide and also use the opt-out procedure to opt-in the people who choose to opt-out. Then they will swear blind that you have opted in. It will be a while before people scream blue bloody murder at a level that gets any authorities attention and then they will string it out with 'system'/'software'/'database' errors until Beelzebub gets frostbitten tootsies. Where's the bit in the T&C, in Wing Ding 1 point, that says you agree to be opted back in after a period of 3 months if you do not opt out again.....?

Engineers are troublesome 'expert loners', says prof

Grrrr Grrrrr Slaver Wooof Woooof Chomp Chomp

I say Lewis, that's a bit uncivilised. Digging out some insignificant tosser and throwing him to the dogs....

Just in case....

Leonardi, P. M., Jackson, M. H., & Diwan, A. (in press) The Enactment-Externalization Dialectic: Rationalization and the Persistence of Counterproductive Technology Design Practices in Student Engineering. Academy of Management Journal

Can be read here

http://www.soc.northwestern.edu/leonardi/research.htm

Without having to subscribe.

50 fucking pages of crap cross-referencing another bunch of meaningless shite spouted by another bunch of insignificants.... Probably pass muster at Wikipedia for 'sources' and that would be all.

Also includes links to other non papers with similarly warped titles. Sad thing is he will probably think there is something wrong with us. Delusionality is often the last barrier before mental breakdown.

Anyway, very tasty but can we have something with nicer shoes next time?

Grrrrrrrr snarl Bark Bark Wooof Woooof Woooof.

Adobe's quarterly patch cycle to commence Tuesday

Why not go for shit

And stop implementing this shit that means you have to sort the shit out after you have shat on it.

Hint... like it's bad enough I have to go de-construct some twats warpdom down to a text file before I can consider dealing with it.

Aww stuff it I think I'll go cook some comfort food.

Hulu headed for subscription service scheme?

Fucking Internet!!!!1!!!!!

And I had to take my pinky off the shift key.

Feh.... Local [not] 'captive' audience makes Biggums. Scroffle Scroffle Scroffle.

Remembering the true* first portable computer

Autonetics?

I'm sure Ron.L could have done better.

Still, these days we have the DPL so the Ruskies better watch out.!

Google tracking cookie spans AdSense, DoubleClick

Re: How

Perhaps they just log your IP addy and date/time of access then cross reference it to your ISP's dirtybase of what they gave you at the time.

Hacker disrupts economy of annoying Twitter-based game

Hai

I am have to vote tomorrow?????

BT bumps up broadband speeds

Perhaps I missed the...

Lack of point but according to this...

http://yfrog.com/2fsmartaxp

My TalkTalk modem/router is way ahead of the game because it can do ADSL2+.

I will kid you not if I say it has decided, in the past, to connect as such. Then, for whatever reason, the service got stuffed and repaired and, as things work out, GDMT is more stable and still does enough.

Yes yes.. I know. You are out in the sticks and get 1 bit per month but I iz lucky coz I am close to the exchange.

Now Mr BT is going to offer me ADSL2+ and another 'Up To'.

Well.... unless I am wrong all those websites that tell me my max is something else and the fact I don't get it anyway.... plus an attempt from TalkTalk to upsell me when I seem to know something different.

That's a nice one.

'Hai Can I speak to Account Holder?'

'Not here at the moment, can I take a message.'

'Oh Hai, I am have calling from Indian Call Centre based in other place. We can am have upgrade you to lots of bits per second.'

'Yes but no but.. K but I live etc so I don't think you can give me faster stuff and the other bits don't interest me.'

'Oh KtnxBai'

I don't get ADSL2+ because I am too far away from the exchange. Are BT doing something about the wires OpenReach has to deal with or are they installing shit to bypass it or have they redifined ADSL2+ or are they just jumping on the 'Up to' bandwagon?

Phorm woos browsers with personalised web

Hai

I am have to vote tomorrow so can I haz some recommendations as to wat to put my smudge againts.

Tah +++++

12 of the best... mice

I am have bought....

Optical mouse from local shop 5 years ago for £3.99. I might have been a bit concerned but like hey... five years later it's still working.

I particularly like the 'lift up' function where you take it off the desk and it switches into total high power mode and lets you laser explode heads of those who are being particularly irritating at the time.

Brill

Triangular buttons key to touchscreen typing success - inventor

The man is a Dude

I'll take nine to have his babies, just the one though.

I tried to find him via...

http://v3.espacenet.com/searchResults?locale=en_GB&IA=David+Baker&compact=false&DB=EPODOC

but could not find it and the chat-room function is not implemented.

"For this to happen, he requires Apple’s aid, something he described as "very difficult to get"."

Yes... I would assume that Apple, being most voluminous in the area of screen fiddling patents themselves, will be a bit miffed at not coming up with this one themselves so that will be tough fuck. Perhaps he can link up with some iPhone programmer to get an implementation on the iPhone so Apple can reject it.

To everyone else who does not, at a bare minimum, consider the concept, wherever it comes from, to be a bit 'in your face' cool may I just say I have an IQ above yours so keep practising on your Nintendo DS.

Oh BTW... not wishing to seem biased but if Matey David has a UK patent on the idea then it has to be quality.

Gordon 'to sacky' Wacky Jacqui

Last time I checked

On the Register No Less. It turned out that some bloke copped, to the FBI, for the 'lesser' charges of 'hacking' in order to avoid getting stung for possession of kiddy porn and time in jail with, dare I say, Bubba Smith.

Is this some similar sort of 'deal'?

Ms Smith seemed to be putting up a 'good' defence for her fiddling and now she folds and 'walks away' in the same way, it would seem, that others are taking the opportunity as well.

MuHuh

......

Firefox users flip out over sneak MS add-on

Excellent a Blibble

In a fit of disgust I went to the place you delete shit and ploffed [Specifically anything .NET and arbitrarily Microsoft] it off. Not that I should be bothered that...... later on in the excercise it was saying some of me software would not work if I did it.

HAH!!!!!! KILL KILL KILL

Still..... I did notice that [grumble] when I tried to uninstall one bit of cruft I was told that I did not have the 'Administrative Privilidges' to do so. YahFuckingBut I, don't know who the fuck you think you are but am Admin/Root God and shit coz you let me be.

Strange to say that having arbitrarily got rid of the cruft putre [sic] boots real quick and still works.

I suppose I'll just install Firefox again and gain a lack of .NET compatibilty until my shit get upgraded.

Whoopy Fucking Dooo!!!!

Microsoft is downloading updates to take care of me.... or sniffing about elsewhere after my rape to see what I got rid of.

Well Turgle My Burds...

http://yfrog.com/5dcapture1sp

So Microsoft 'upgraded' FireFox without asking or saying so and then left the 'prompt before fucking you over' checkbox unchecked.

Well done.

One thing I don't understand is.... well I just don't understand.

Wikipedia bans Church of Scientology

Is a matter outside the remit of science

CanIhasCheezburger?

Not yet. Try to 'believe' in Gravity and it will succumb to your plate.

CanIhasCheezburger Now?

Is it on your plate?

Uhm. No, Can I has it now?

It's called gravity!

K. So pick me up and....

Nom Nom Nom Nom

See, that was not so hard then... Purrrrrrrrrr

One thing that [does not] surprise me...

Is the Place of Fark has run up to 532(?) posts with the majority arguing about semantics, looking for gain or just generalised preening .

There appears to be some 'leakage' here.

Just in case 'new' members of the 'Cult of Reg' have not noticed.... Your posts are moderated so that might be a reason why attempts at voluminous diatribes of shit are not appearing here in voluminous amounts.

Statement [1]

Given two 1Kg weights placed at opposite ends of a symmetrically pivoted see-saw the result will be a system in balance.

Statement [2]

Your Religion becomes a Cult when you Game It.

You may notice that Statement [1] is subtle and subject to discussion whilst Statement [2] is an invitation to slip in voluminous amounts of meaningless wordyshit.

Or maybe it is just so succinct that wordyshit does not work so we shall just ignore it.

Off course there is the possibility that the Moderators have cancelled your posts trying to argue against Statement [2] but I'd take a basic guess that 'those concerned' are ignoring it in favour of slapping keyboards for wordyshit.

Sigh... Religion versus Cult

Your Religion becomes a Cult when you Game It.

Re: Religious Prejudice

'Religious'

Wrong.....

'Prejudice'

"An adverse judgement or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts."

Wrong.....

'Religious Prejudice'

Wrong + Wrong = Wrong

So...... that will be wrong then.

Please don't feel the need to try harder.

Beeb names new Who companion

Eeeeeeeee When I wert Child

Dr Who and the maggots was back of the sofa stuff before Mum served up toast and dripping with the opportunity for Bovril.

Kids these days don't know they have been born.

"I say, Substitute Doctor, Do these CGI Aliens make my bum look big in this?"

"What Ho!!!! I'll just Switch on My Thing and Zapp Them with the Blu LEDz stuff."

"Gosh! Earth Saved again!!!!!"

CUT!!!!!

That's a take.

'Bitch!'

'Well it's not as if you are Pewtree.'

'Oh, like sure Lena?'

'Bastard Bald Osmond!'

"Hai. I am like from makeup and need to put these green spotz on yu. Green spotz have no artifecal bitz and other things plus hav nuffink to do with experiments in maggot vomit. Plzzz ignore headpipes and sign here.

KthnxBai.... purrrr"

Microsoft's Google challenger is not a search engine

Re: Let's Hope....?

Cancel that emotion.... Registrar Name: Markmonitor.com

Chances are the original owner never knew it was Microsoft behind the bid and, although it was a catchy 4 letter .com they would not have realised its 'real' worth. It would be really nice to know if they are feeling a bit sick at the moment....

Let's hope....?

That the previous owner of Bing pocketed some serious wonga from Microsoft for the domain name....

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://bing.com

http://web.archive.org/web/20041210181943/http://bing.com/

http://web.archive.org/web/20070113223154/http://bing.com/

http://web.archive.org/web/20080106094125rn_1/au.bing.com/

Hmmmm... Looks like the Aussies might have downed a few tinnies of Fosters.

Ooooooo..... Bing For Sale!!

http://web.archive.org/web/20070124060034/http://bing.com/

Microsoft's Silverlight 3 due in July?

Duz it come with a HTML5 tag?

Refer to Title

Critical Windows vulnerability under attack, Microsoft warns

@Slappy Frog

"wanted to share that as of 7:26pm San Francisco time"

OH CRAP!!!!!!

"This Fix It By Camilla Smythe Posted Friday 29th May 2009 00:27 GMT

Is being fixed..."

Sorry about that peeps. Looks like trying to use the fix in Firefox under Ubuntu ended up breaking Miscrosofts website. :-(

@AC @Kwac

Sigh..... Although I may be wrong as well...

1) Turn off Computer.

2) Turn on Computer.

3) Tap DEL (or as appropriate) during boot.

4) Find appropriate settings, Under Advanced Cmos settings ?, and select Boot From CD as first option.

5) Select boot from HDD0 as second option.

6) Insert Live CD

7) Save settings and exit, F10 Y, ?

Oh...... silly me. It's Windows. Autorun/Autoplay will sort things for you.

1) Insert LiveCD.

2) Follow On Screen Instructions.

That's the trouble with you Linux people. It's always got to be so 'bloody' complicated. Even Windows makes migration to Linux simpler than your sort would have things.

This Fix It...

Which was being fixed......

Has now gone AWOL

http://yfrog.com/89screenshot1crep

This Fix It

Is being fixed...

http://yfrog.com/63screenshotlryp

I was just checking if it would work in Firefox under Ubuntu just in case the authors problem was trying to use Firefox under Windows. I'll let you know, if I can be bothered, if they get around to fixing the fix it but, for the moment, everyone else will have to use the fix it to fix Internet Explorer under Windows when they manage to fix it.... the fix it that is...

Perhaps someone else can check, when it is fixed, whether it fixes the problem using Safari, or whatever browser folks use, on a Mac.

Can't be too careful about this Critical security stuff you know!

Google: The internet is 'the right programming model'

Oooooooooh Look

Nice new 'no' clothes.

Let's see now.....

ANDROID will become the new KERNUL. CHROME will become the new OS. HTML5 will become the new HLPL. And.... when you work OFFLINE you will be using your locally stored HTML5 progrums [Fluffy Toys].

Hmmmmmm

METUL

KERNUL

OS

HLPL

PROGRUMS

Well Fuck Me if that isn't what we haven't got at the moment. Better call it a Pardugm then.

Google toys with plug-in free YouTube

When is a plug-in not a plug-in?

"Google has mocked up a version of YouSandwich built around the HTML5 sandwich wrapper, serving mini-sandwiches inside a browser sans fillings."

"Browsing his not-YouSandwich page, he showed five or six sandwiches with different fillings simultaneously inside his Chrome browser. "Thanks to the [HTML5] sandwich wrapper, sandwich fillings are served between slices of bread right in the browser and they're intrinsic to the HTML page. Those are not ... six fillings. It's just JavaScript and sandwich wrappers and that's it."

So.... just the bread and the illusion of BLT or Coronation Chicken then?

Excuse me whilst my head implodes...

Ubuntu brings Google Android apps to netbooks

What?????

"Microsoft and Intel have reportedly taken steps to carve up the netbook market to suit their product roadmaps and business-unit plans.

DigiTimes said the companies had "reached a consensus" to limit the size of a screen for netbooks running Windows to 10.2 inches. The move means OEMs that go over this size would not qualify for the low-priced versions of Windows 7 - Starter Edition - for netbooks."

Naturally I'll be wrong but isn't this pretty close to acting as a cartel?

Microsoft backs 'Bing' with big ad push

Microsoft Disenfranchises Bong

'Bing hands Satchel to Ballmer for cream cake with extra cream. Ballmer hands Bing cream cake with extra cream from Satchel.'

When questioned Bong said...

'Didn't tell me nuffink about it, great big lump. He's not exactly the brains on the team. I guess that's the Universe then.'

If they can break the law, why can't we?

I'm surprised....

No-one, MP or otherwise, has gone beyond trying to claim it was 'within the rules'... and therefore OK... to saying something like... 'I put the claim in and it was accepted so it must be OK'.

I mean... like fuck me sideways but there is an opportunity to shift the blame elsewhere so why not go for it?

Buh? Someone gets refused a camera but someone else gets 3000 fridge magnets. Who the fuck was in charge of that decision making process then?

I mean like who was auditing the auditors?

Could this be the tip of the iceberg for the 'Expenses For Favours/Votes' Scandal?????!!!!1111"""222

"Right! Let's get down to it.

Right Honourable Blah claims for fourteen Rubber Horse Dicks plus lubricant?"

"Didn't vote for 42 days."

"Rejected."

"Right Honourable Flah claims for 3000 fridge magnets and paid for dogging sessions?"

"Voted for 42 days and pump action shotguns for plod."

"We haven't proposed plodpumpguns yet!"

"Oh, sorry. Will vote for plodpumpguns at a future date."

"Excellent! Fridge magnets approved and get the dogging sessions changed to cameras or laser printers. Any more for today?"

"No."

"Good."

Federal judge muzzles Craigslist-threatening AG

Well... There you go then..

Judge Weston.... and may I just say that was Judge Judy.... slaps your hands and stuff gets sorted. I'll assume that one was for minimal lawyer cost? ? ?

ITMT I notice McMaster has not credited my account for 'Public Toilet Blow Job Services in Plastic' for the last four services rendered. Sure, his defense will be I did not swallow. Like as if I am still waiting for delivery from Mr Floppies Floppy One.

xxx

Your English Gurl

Atlantis homecoming delayed again

Yay! Megan McArthur!

That is one serious Zero G ready hair style. Nom Nom Nom.

Safe signals in Perl

Meh

"If you’re trying to parse malformed HTML, you presumably want to actually do something with the result."

Well Obviously!!!123

Just let me get the wrong Error Code here....

"HTTP Error 612. Your HTML is MalFormed.

Either

You are not connected to the interweb.

Your browser is generating malformed HTTP requests.

We wrote some shit HTML on our webpages.

We recommend you re-submit your credit card details.

Or

Use the following Handy Wizards to set up your Home Computing Experience."

That should be job done.

Perhaps someone should invent Knit1, apparently PerlN is dropping too many stitches.

Meh

"Fuck Off I am busy."

"Fuck Off your request is no longer valid."

Sorted!1

Craigslist sues South Carolina attorney general

Blimey...

http://www.scattorneygeneral.org/inside/index.html

Well Mr McMaster... Ignoring the introduction I think you might find that your numbered bullet points giving your interpretation of what you feel your duties are..... are sort of not. Perhaps someone who is not so flash about themselves will be along to explain stuff to you.

Don't get me wrong!

I still want to have your babies. I am still totally in awe of you in front of those flags and seals and things in your videos. You look so sincere as well as powerful and I know you are having seen your orgasm face and I do understand about the floppy thing and it is my fault that you had to pretend and I apologise for pretending first and being ugly.

Your English Gurl

Camilla

xxx

What the Fuck....

Is Boss Hogg doing living in California?

Shouldn't he get his fat lardy ass back over to Georgia?

.... just a moment....

http://www.scattorneygeneral.org/

Oh... Must be brothers then.

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha MONSTER SNURK

Boss Hoggs, unlardy ass, brother is a Scat Torney General. That will be why he spouts shit, probably been eating some roscoe's.

The Great Spotify Mystery

Yes... To all of the above.

But I know something you do not so that makes you sort guessing that you might be some sort of stupid with the opportunity for denial.

Another 0.03% of Blighty goes wind powered

What's all this WindFarm Building Lark About?

I haven't seen any reports of TeleTubbies becoming an endangered species or running out of habitat. Is this some move by that Huggy bloke from the BBC to carve up big swathes of National Trust land as retirement estates for him and his mates at Phorm?

Vatican declares 'the internet is blessed'

Catholic Church

Exposed in systemic child abuse report. Vatican resorts to internet.....

Just a mo.. This sounds like another bunch of people with nothing to sell discovering the internet as a means of selling nothing. Does that mean they'll be after a 3% surcharge as well?

Pope claims invention of internet. Al Gore miffed. Modern age pagans unite against the creeping scourge of Catholicism.

NebuAd knocks at death's door

Isn't there some law

About not being able to start up another company for a period of time after your last one gets stiffed.... or do they just make TV programs about cowboys who do that sort of thing?

Still if NebuAdd were covering up their demise what are the chances that Phorm is a similar hollow shell at the moment? Yes, yes... wishfull thinking but...