* Posts by Camilla Smythe

1218 publicly visible posts • joined 3 Apr 2009

UK gov sinks £25k into Pi-powered cyberdesk

Camilla Smythe

Nooooooooo....

Let's assume a Pi can be used to RDP into a server thing and present some sort of 'flavoured' desktop for the Student when doing 'dull' stuff. Pi wants 5V@2A. Monitor wants 18V@2A. Break Out supply for experimentation on the IO port wants +/-15@1A and +5V@1A... 60 Watts per Student. Stick 10 Student Desks side by side and supply them with a 700W AC/DC 42VDC power supply, local conversion at desk, from one end of the desks in order to get rid of a shit load of dangerous mains cabling and its associated daisy chained 4 socket 'what the fuck is plugged in where' trip over this stuff and daisy chain the Ethernet. Sorted. Meh... no you cannot program it in Python.

Plusnet ignores GCHQ, spits out plaintext passwords to customers

Camilla Smythe

I occasionally....

Go blurry eyed and do a Google search on my own root password when I am not using it to log into all my other online services. So far it has not come back with any results, unlike 'Huge Cock Transsexual Anime'... that gets lots of results which seems to indicate an affiliation between Google and PornHub, so I think I am fairly safe. Obviously my root password is not 'Huge Cock Transsexual Anime' coz I kept missing out the extra S so I didn't changed it and still have to suffer Google pointing out I cannot spell Transsexual every time I want to visit PornHub.

Grow up, judge tells EFF: You’re worse than a complaining child

Camilla Smythe

“Frankly, it sounded like my son complaining when I took his electronics away when he watched YouTube videos instead of doing homework. And it's completely hysterical.”

That's a bit harsh. Maybe his homework was not teaching him much of any general use about electronics so he got his soldering iron out and resorted to YouTube.

Bit of a crap move on his part but rather than taking his electronics away I might have been inclined to show him how to use the intertubes to do a bit of meaningful research... prior to going down the school and wasting a few teachers for not doing their job properly.

We could also chill out on the Pron thing.

.... Unless .SNR II is expecting .JNR III to enter the legal profession.

Suck it, Elon – Jeff Bezos' New Shepard space rocket blasts off, lands in one piece

Camilla Smythe

Re: Fail!!

OK. Fine. Just to dig my hole deeper.

Suck it, Elon – Jeff Bezos' New Shepard space rocket blasts off, lands in one piece.

Now either El Reg made that one up or they took the intent from the reporting as delivered by Bezos and/or his team.

Of course, it's possible that the landing was on the hairy edge of the thing's ability to correct for, and just lucked out. But unless you know what those limits are, your comment is specious.

Very magnanimous of you.

If you compare the Videos of each landing, Bezos VS Musk, you will notice that the behaviour is largely the same. You might expect that given they are dealing with similar scenarios. So consider the different constraints...

You can basically ignore everything else and concentrate on the landing target size and motion of the landing target. Bezos, big and not moving. Musk, small and subject to both vertical and rotational motion. Spot the difference?

Now go back and look at the Bezos Video. Did it land within the same area that was available to Musk? At the point when it touched down and almost toppled over did the ground rotate and push it over the edge?

Fundamentally given you would not wish to be sitting on top of Musk's one, when it fell over, would you honestly feel more confident sitting on top of the Bezos version. Go back, compare the videos and put your hand on you heart.

Now I don't know you from Adam but given your surnym is Weir I might live in fear that you know something about 'control theory'. However given you can look at the Video and decide that my, fair enough, contrite comment was 'specious' I would almost feel safe in suggesting you do not know a lot about 'control theory' or what you do know is not exactly complete or rigorous.

I would not wish to 'blow my own trumpet' but if Bezos and Musk asked for my input then, prior to getting egg on my face, I'd be fairly confident I could provide them with a documented and general solution using a number of LM324's, they might prefer the MIL Spec version, and some other passive components.

Perhaps El Reg can put us in touch.

Have A Nice Day.

Camilla Smythe
FAIL

Fail!!

Not Slam Dunk Vertically Down with any degree of certainty.

Similar dodgy drunken end of descent to the one achieved by Musk.

Oh and I do not give a rah rah fuck that it managed to do it without falling over and blowing up.

Randall Munroe spoke to The Reg again. We're habit-forming that way

Camilla Smythe

Re: Biannual

Actually it's the 'Sasquatchannual Meeting'. If you can figure out when it is and turn up you are Picnic. Don't forget to bring your own Dressing.

Paris, jihadis, tech giants ... What is David Cameron's speechwriter banging on about now?

Camilla Smythe

Pointy Bra'd Boss....

Probably modelled herself on Claire Perry.

Shocker: Smut-viewing Android apps actually steal your data

Camilla Smythe

Re: Why?

UI optimised for one-handed navigation?

FleshPhone™... Comes with image stabilisation.

Crimestoppers finally revamps weak crypto. Take your time guys

Camilla Smythe

Associated...

Previously,

https://fearless.org/give-info-anonymously

Offered that page over a non HTTPS connection but the 'person' concerned got a 'public' slap for it. Now it is over HTTPS....

Association with Crime Stoppers,

https://www.fearless.org/about

https://www.ssllabs.com/ssltest/analyze.html?d=fearless.org

Scores similar.... I mean worse. C as opposed to B.

Cat discovers GNOME desktop bug

Camilla Smythe

Re: Grrrrr...

What an absolute Broken Piece of Fucking Shite...

http://forum.librecad.org/Copying-from-one-document-to-another-one-td5550173.html

http://sourceforge.net/p/librecad/feature-requests/94/

The above relates in particular to LibreCad and generally to all of the previous Software and Hardware Shite that PersonKind has managed to bollocks up since its inception that has anything to do with computahs.

You are all soooooo clever with your broken SHITE.

Go kill yourselves along with your legacy.

Camilla Smythe

Re: Grrrrr...

LibreCad is 'free as in beer' SHIT. Whilst the cat will survive some idiots are due 'Hamster Fate' involving two planks and a foot.

Camilla Smythe

Grrrrr...

Today,

http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2015/11/12/microsofts_1st_major_win_10_update/#c_2696270

The associated miscreant creeps up behind me whilst I am doing some mechanical drawing in LibreCad,

Leaps up on the desk and smears his Fat Fluffy Body all over the keyboard. Again before I get to hit CTRL|ALT|L so that's an hour of, complex for me, work gone. Yes, blah blah blah.. I did try to recover it but for shit.

Now it's sleeping in one of it's multiple sleeping places presumably prior to vomiting a fur ball all over it, along with associated stomach contents, or somewhere else so I get to clean the crap up.. and preening its arse and penis.

The shit will probably ask to go out to shit in someone else's garden after I have gone to bed and will be tapping on the window to come back in three hours later.

BASTARD!

It's like having 'A Boss' who is a deliberate fuckhole and should know better so you toss the job but FluffyBum is truly clueless/unaware and you have been adopted.

From $6bn to $4.2bn to $2.9bn: Square's ever shrinking unicorn horn

Camilla Smythe

Scum De-Rampers.

This is going to worth bazillions but oh no... All of you scum have to come out of the woodwork and start dissing it.

First off you are not allowed to comment unless you are invested. Then if you do comment in a negative manner it is quite obvious you are not invested or otherwise either/and/or,

1) Short on the stock.

2) Work for a competitor.

3) Got the sack from the company.

Do kindly fuck off whilst the rest of us believers, and anyone else we can drag in, gets to share in the new found wealth created from nothing... apart from those we will be dragging in to act as the sink to our profit taking.

Yours Sincerely

Mr Angel Investor/Venture Capitalist/Entrepreneur

George Osborne fires starting gun on £20m coding comp wheeze

Camilla Smythe

1% and GCHQ

Presumably GCHQ, yes you less than credible wankers as Jam in Your Doughnut, do not have a clue and will be relying on the 1% of coders introduced to the program who are going to rail against it to point out where, why and how shit the course is....

Oh... Silly Me A++++++++ E-Bay Grades all around.

Red dwarf superflares batter formerly 'habitable' exoplanet

Camilla Smythe

"Have they stopped Looking?"

"Yes."

"Well switch off that bloody disco rig, put the kettle on and fetch me my slippers and pipe."

MPs to assess tech feasibility of requirements under draft surveillance laws

Camilla Smythe

Re: My submission in full

Perhaps you meant...

"More specific issues of interest to the Committee include the extent to which communications data and communications content can be separated"

Dear Commmittee,

Redefine the meaning of communications data and communications content

Example,

"Given communications content involves data it is therefore a subset of and should be included with communications data."

or apply Section 195.

Example,

"communications data includes any communications content which is not communications data."

Slime, Grovel, Lick.

You are so clever and wonderful. Can I join your club?

Big Defence Contractor.

Camilla Smythe

Dragnet

It is in effect what they want and they are going to want to spread it as wide as possible so that does not restrict 'Communications Service Providers' to 'Internet Service Providers'. Basically anyone or any company that transfers data over the Internet or makes use of the Internet to transfer data IS going to be included.

It is going to be one Fuck Awful mess in terms of implementation, managing, monitoring and regulating but.... hey, that's not their problem. If they, by virtue of delusional stupidity, can string some words together that mean what they think they mean then it must be possible. Anyone who tries to explain otherwise is just incapable of thinking outside of the box, or budget and a subversive too boot.

I reserve The Right to go Godwin.

Microsoft rolls out first 'major update' to Windows 10

Camilla Smythe

These Days...

I have discovered Linux appears to be quite stable.

This afternoon the Cat tried to interface with the keyboard and I did not manage CTRL|ALT|LOCK under his tum before his bum reset the computer. When interrogated about which key combination he had used he resorted to extreme purring.

Can someone remind me why everyone uses Windows... or is that a Facebook thing?

UN privacy head slams 'worse than scary' UK surveillance bill

Camilla Smythe

Re: "Reading is fundamental" too....

You must have clicked on the "We use cookies" box on any website that uses tracking cookies in order to have used their services, therefore YOU are the responsible party who gave them permission to track you. Or maybe you aren't intelligent enough to read?!"

Seriously...? It's all blocked unless I allow it. In fact most times the site does not get to show its 'We use Cookies' message because the script it wants to use does not get loaded. Otherwise I do not click on the box and I carry on regardless even if the message suggests that if I continue to use the site then I accept their use of cookies. They might try to set them but... does not happen.

Who cares about your "letter" did you vote for him or not? If not, you can complain all you want but no one should ever care as you didn't vote.... etc

I did not vote for him or his party. My vote, for what it was not worth, went elsewhere. Tell me is it part of your strategy to enforce incorrect assumptions in order to support your standpoint?

And for what its worth, I have never seen an entire country so devoted to bestiality and sexually transmitted disease as I have yours.

Presumably that explains your lack of understanding about the nature of nhs.uk As a resident of the UK I help fund the NHS through taxes. It is a public service provided by Government through taxation. Otherwise you may notice that it deals with a range of 'personal and sensitive issues', not including bestiality...

I do not expect that a 'Public Service' web site of itself and otherwise in this case which deals with such issues to be allowing external agents such as Google, Facebook, Twitter. Webtrends and the rest to track and profile me across their pages and extend that tracking and profiling across to other sites.... this is exactly what happens.

If you care to look harder then you will realise that URLQuery scans a web page and records the communications require to load the page. It does so without any 'protection' and therefore by and large demonstrates what will happen when someone less careful or knowledgeable than myself and others will experience. URLQuery has its 'off days'...

Of course NHS.UK does explain what the cookies are used for...

http://www.nhs.uk/aboutNHSChoices/aboutnhschoices/termsandconditions/Pages/cookies-policy.aspx

However as you probably know and others have pointed out the majority of people would not go so far as to read that information and even if they did they would either not understand it or the possible consequences. As an aside you may notice that reference is made to ASP.NET because the site is hosted 'In The Cloud' on Microsoft Azure.... 'Safe Harbo[u]r', cough.

I can, almost, assure you that Facebook and Twitter do not actively set cookies during a visit to the site... They do not have to because, like as not, you will already have got yours by visiting another site and they get to read them anyway. Webtrends does modify its previously set cookies both as first and third party.

Whilst the site uses Google-Analytics and supposedly only sets first party cookies under the nhs.uk root which are claimed to be used only for analytics and only for the host site the base information is also shared outside of Google-Analytics with Google DoubleClick. I would offer you an example but URLQuery has, for the moment, caught a cold.

If 'people' were more aware as to what was happening in the background then they might think twice about using a web site service that they have paid for through their taxes and that may or should extend to other sites.

I would expect that the prime use of such a public service, and publicly funded, web site is to help and reassure people with information from a trusted and respected source rather than them visiting a Doctor or dialling 999. It does not help that the first thing the site does is insist that it is going to force tracking cookies down your throat so you can gain access to important information that you have in effect already paid for to access.

Nhs.uk is in certain respects a special case but in my view similar arguments apply to any other .gov.uk or similar public service website where sensitive information is handled. I do not want a Facebook 'Like' button or any similar shit on any page I use to make use of public services. It is 'none of their fucking business'.

Anyway, I've rambled on for too long. You carry on in your ivory tower screaming at people for not taking responsibility for their actions whilst ignoring the very real fact that people are generally unaware or incapable of understanding the consequences of their actions because they are not sufficiently well informed and indeed when they are offered 'advice' that advice is deliberately biased to prevent them from reaching an incorrect conclusion.

I do however take my hat off to you for the down votes. Perhaps you were trying....

Camilla Smythe

Re: "Reading is fundamental" too....

@Dan Paul

http:www.nhs.uk/

http://urlquery.net/report.php?id=1447193517180

http://urlquery.net/domain_graph.php?id=1447193517180

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Gonorrhoea/Pages/Introduction.aspx

http://urlquery.net/report.php?id=1447193647946

http://urlquery.net/domain_graph.php?id=1447193647946

Why does the advertising arm of Google, AKA DoubleClick, need to collect data about my interest in Gonorrhoea?

"Hi.. Looks Like You've Got Gonorrhoea. Would you like to buy some socks to put on your Willy?"

Just like someone who complains about politicians but never votes in an election, I have no sympathy for your umbrage or your "cause"

I complained to my politician about such tracking on the above and other pages on that website just prior to the last General Election. He managed to send me a, hand delivered no less, letter expressing his concerns about such matters and suggesting that we might meet after the election..... The meeting never materialised..

Please do kindly go get fucked by a goat or whatever suits your fancy. If you catch some 'nasty itch' you can look it up on nhs.uk No-one will ever know.

UK citizens will have to pay government to spy on them

Camilla Smythe

Oh.. What?

I thought the Doughnut Heads, and mates, were doing this stuff already. All the powerpoint presentations say they are. Are they now saying they were and are lying incapable useless blubber lips and if so where did they spunk the tax payers money?

TalkTalk boss: 'Customers think we're doing right thing after attack'

Camilla Smythe

"You have to admit she has balls to come out with this sort of stuff."

What part of the concept of 'Fuck You Money' are you having difficulty with?

Three men indicted over JPMorgan Chase megahack

Camilla Smythe

Whuh!!

17:30 today I got my Phirst Phish from someone purporting to be from JPMorgan.

Desktop Users:

Open the attachment (message_zdm.pdf) and follow the instructions.

Zip archive attachment (message_zdm.zip)

<u>message_zdm.exe</u>

Oh bugger.. that will be it PhisherMen reading the news... err.

So... How many 'bankers' and associated underlings, assuming the 'bankers' have not provided the training or IT support required to deal with the issue, are going to fall for that one?

Hint... It just takes 'one'.

Still I suppose I can expect another 14 over the next few hours along with various .exe .scr and macro infected .doc .xls files so I can add the associated open proxies or otherwise to IPTables.

Right.. I think I'll just pay a visit to nhchoices and do a bit of research on rectal herpes gonorrhoea smelly discharge with bleeding and pick up a double-click and facebook cookie on the way along with some others.

Perhaps they can analyse my condition and try to sell me some socks.

Facebook brings creepy ’Minority Report’-style ads one step closer

Camilla Smythe

Could Work in The US...

"Hi, I noticed you bought some Socks. Want to buy more Socks?"

"Hi, I noticed you bought some Socks. Want to buy more Socks?"

"Hi, I noticed you bought some Socks. Want to buy more Socks?"

"Hi, I noticed you bought some Socks. Want to buy more Socks?"

-

-

"Hi, Would you like some nice Socks to go with your new pump action?

BLAM!

Working with Asperger's in tech: We're in this together

Camilla Smythe

Don't know what drugs the author is on?

All Aspies are different.

Sorry.. Carry on.

Yay, more 'STEM' grads! You're using your maths degree to do ... what?

Camilla Smythe

Re: Bah!

@aggood

The internal angles of regular 2d shapes are (180 * (number of sides - 2))/number of sides

Apart from the fact that you have answered the wrong question...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/11971692/Can-you-solve-the-50-cent-maths-exam-question-that-is-dividing-the-internet.html

This one 'broke my head' until I waved wet fingers at it. I believe 'rote' has been mentioned elsewhere but to my mind this is a matter of visualisation leading you to a solution which of itself is not necessarily a 'proof' but looks robust, cough. Perhaps I should really have committed all of this stuff permanently to my brane.

Let's say we are dealing with internal angles, IA, and consider a regular hexagon because dealing with 7 makes head division a bit hard.

You quote @gerdesj

"it's a flat septahedron so 360/7 degrees is the internal angle." - ??????

Why not call it a Septagon.? I thought Hedron referred to three dimensional shapes, could be wrong but there is this thing called a Dodecadildron,.. an interesting twelve faced shape with a tool at each corner, so your Flat Septahedron is a Septoganol Prism.

Apparently a Heptagon is a Septagon. Let's listen to a 'Maths Person' explain it. Top hit via You Tube,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pXgiyLvDzA

Note how he has to glance at the 'right numeric answer' before scribbling it on the board.

So... 'I'm Charlie Kasov. I'm a Math Teacher. Now you know the difference between a Septagon and a Heptagon'.

OK. Now I might have missed his point there but if I replay that one a number of times I might only conclude I have not been smoking the right drugs coz... 'No I fucking Do Not'.

In my case as a first stab, and I would be inclined to do exactly the same for the internal angle, would make the answer 360/6 or 60°.. at which point I might be happy, tick the required 'multi-guess' box and carry on. In this case it turns out to be the right answer using the wrong number of sides.

However if I had a picture of a hexagon in front of me I would have a 'wait what!?' moment and notice that the internal angles are certainly greater that 60° so have to think again. If I picked a regular dodecagon then my answer would be 360/12 or 30° and the angle has become more acute.

It would seem that my thinking is in some way upside down. The more sides I have the more acute the angle becomes with an apparent limit of a regular infinigon, aka a circle, with 360/∞ or 0° internal angles which would mean that my infinigon would, in some way, have to tend towards being a straight line.... or something like that.

That makes me wave another wet finger and think I should be taking another guess and subtracting my original guess from something else. So I wave more wet fingers and reach the conclusion that in some limit, as I tend to an infinigon, I end up with something to do with tangents which are straight lines and 180° should enter into my thoughts.

180 - 360/6 = 120°

or more generally for a regular polygon with n sides,

IA = 180 - 360/n <- Yay. Charlie!! n = 7 IA = 128.57°.. pity you had to look.

In your suggestion,

IA = (180 * (n - 2))/n

..... notice how my hand waving ends up with what I consider to be a simpler but equivalent expression to your own....

(180*(n - 2))/n = (180*n - 360)/n

(180*n - 360)/n = 180 - 360/n

Of course it would appear, as per the link offered above, that 'we' are answering the 'wrong question' and it would appear that Mr Chirgwin may have been trolling a bit tongue in cheek by not offering the original version.

However having worked out what the internal angle is we can, once again, guess by inspection/visualisation that the final answer for two coins butted against each other as shown that the final answer for the angle requested is...

AR = 360 - 2*IA

AR = 360 - 2*(180 - 360/n)

AR = 360 - (360 + 720/n)

AR = 720/n

Of course one of the major problems with 'multi-guess' is that you cannot really tell who knew the answer they learned as of rote, who understood why the rote answer was the right one or who when presented with a 'new' problem either took an initial guess and realising it was wrong went back and worked out what the right answer should be.

Then again if 'the student' were asked to give their reasoning, rather than ticking a box you might get closer to someone who can actually reason through a problem to find a solution, assuming they are not just regurgitating the reasoning offered to them. Even so you might almost feel confident that they understood the reasoning rather than just regurgitating the result....

Hmmmm...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gY7BKdNxjeQ

No doubt I would be marked down for producing non-standard 'wiffle' however I would still maintain that answers without reasoning are worthless.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/11960777/Why-555-doesnt-always-make-15-Maths-exam-question-divides-the-internet.html

"I would totally argue with the teacher over that for my child," commented one user.

However another replied: "This is a mark of a good teacher. If your question doesn't achieve the desired result then the question was the problem, not the answer."

I almost get the impression that they are dealing with Matrices here. Unsurprisingly Maths is a Language. I had a Geography question once...

"There are several countries somewhere that do Nom. Name them?"

I had no concept of the meaning of 'several' and could only remember two of what looked like the requested seven. It turns out there were three, that they told us about, so I got that one wrong even though I tried to argue, having found out what several might mean, two names should have qualified.

Oh Crap..

http://imgur.com/KtKNmXG

I might get the concept that 'the order' of a Matrix is important, this 'looks like' something beyond 'BODMAS and The Pit' but that looks like shite to me.

I assume this drivel is meant to be leading on to the concept of Matrices but if so then why not go the full banana and explain why such matters are going to be important 'later on' if not introducing the 'later on' in the same lessons.

"I would totally argue with the teacher over that for my child," commented one user.

However another replied: "This is a mark of a good teacher. If your question doesn't achieve the desired result then the question was the problem, not the answer."

Really? I might be inclined to read the teacher course notes, attend class and try to figure out where things may have gone wrong.... after poking my brain back up my nose because it dribbled out as a result of not being able to properly decipher the above comments....

Like WTF!1!

http://imgur.com/KtKNmXG

Math Formative:

3.OA.1: I can use multiplication strategies to help me multiply.

3.OA.3: I can use the structure of a word problem to help me solve it.

Looks like 'teachers instructions', as delivered by 'department of' to me. Perhaps 3.OA.2 was a 'special effort' from 'teacher'.

... and someone is complaining about the kids?

Windows 10: Major update on the Threshold as build 10586 hits Insiders

Camilla Smythe

That reminds me. Maybe I'll upgrade to 17.2 from 17.1 ... or just not bother.

BTW what is this 'Threshold' thing and, presumably having got over Threshold 1, what did they do wrong on Threshold 1 such that they encountered Threshold 2?

Surely everyone knows by now that you have to pick up the dusty feathers and ribbed condoms.

TalkTalk offers customer £30.20 'final settlement' after crims nick £3,500

Camilla Smythe

Re: That Dido photo

"Internet comments FTW, or not, as the case may be.

You guys are disgusting."

No, as a shareholder in the company who does not give a monkey's fuck about what it does to the customer as long as it makes me a profit I expect the bint to put some make up on when she has a photo opportunity....... Unless you are suggesting she does not have to because she knows what she is talking about.

Fuck me. Even Theresa May makes an effort.

UK govt sneaks citizen database aka 'request filters' into proposed internet super-spy law

Camilla Smythe

Re: OK... That's StalkStalk.

Obviously Huawei is 'good' enough for us Peons as defined by Ms Perry and Ms Dido but Ms Perry needs to know her e-mails are 'protected' by, NSA, professionals...

http://www.claireperry.org.uk/contact-me

ITMT my local elected numpty is quite happy to spaff all of his personal communications to Google...

camilla@smythe ~ $ dig mx bengummer.com

; <<>> DiG 9.9.5-3ubuntu0.5-Ubuntu <<>> mx bengummer.com

;; global options: +cmd

;; Got answer:

;; ->>HEADER<<- opcode: QUERY, status: NOERROR, id: 28976

;; flags: qr rd ra; QUERY: 1, ANSWER: 7, AUTHORITY: 0, ADDITIONAL: 1

;; OPT PSEUDOSECTION:

; EDNS: version: 0, flags:; udp: 4096

;; QUESTION SECTION:

;bengummer.com. IN MX

;; ANSWER SECTION:

bengummer.com. 14400 IN MX 10 ASPMX4.GOOGLEMAIL.com.

bengummer.com. 14400 IN MX 10 ASPMX5.GOOGLEMAIL.com.

bengummer.com. 14400 IN MX 1 ASPMX.L.GOOGLE.com.

bengummer.com. 14400 IN MX 5 ALT1.ASPMX.L.GOOGLE.com.

bengummer.com. 14400 IN MX 10 ASPMX3.GOOGLEMAIL.com.

bengummer.com. 14400 IN MX 10 ASPMX2.GOOGLEMAIL.com.

bengummer.com. 14400 IN MX 5 ALT2.ASPMX.L.GOOGLE.com.

Last I did not hear Ms Perry's sons did not manage to haxor the pron filters or get arrested for hacking TalkTalk... becoz.

Camilla Smythe

OK... That's StalkStalk.

Every URL you visit will be fed up the back end of a Huawei GreenNet device,

http://www.huawei.com/ucmf/groups/public/documents/attachments/hw_111690.pdf

and passed through a 'request filter' after the Chinese and various UK teenagers have had a snout at it... then they will try selling socks to you based on your browsing history in order to support the cost of the equipment.

Cash injection fuels SABRE spaceplane engine

Camilla Smythe

Why is it Bent?

Oh, Yeah Like Hey Men and Women. I was like the graphic designer back when and they said 'Do us one of these. Long with wings in the middle and the usual front and back bits.' So I roughed one up in blue and sent it back for appraisal and they come back and tell me they want it in black and I forgot to put the engines on and like they like want it in four hours with animations 'cause they are going to press' the next day. Hey I'm already on my fifth spliff and now I have a serious deadline so I drop some LSD and go into overdrive so they get the answer back within three and a half hours... I think it was something like that, and they phone me back yammering on about how cool it looks what with being black and the animation stuff and the curved engines and the way they integrate into something or another and I'm like 'curved engines!?' But everything has sort of gone swirly by then until I wake up the next morning with a dry mouth in a pile of vomit next to my bed. Anyway... much... later on in the day when my head feels almost right I check my e-mails and they have published all the marketing literature and I go look at the web site and I'm like 'whoa shit! curved engines. Which crazy Dude came up with that idea? So I potter about for a bit 'cause I'm feeling kind of fragile and later on the Girl Freud comes around with stuff to cook and after special cheese cake we retire to bed, like don't worry I had tidied up the previous. Right... during the farting competition the next morning under the duvet the phone goes off so she gets it then breaks me off mid trump with an elbow in the ear and says it's some Chief Engineering Bloke from Nylon and I'm like 'What?' because although it is my portfolio I haven't done anything to do with Lingerie for ages ever since... well, best not mentioned. So I take the phone and say 'Like Hi, How can I help?' and I end up getting called all bastards under the Sun for about five minutes until this Dude runs out of breath so having reached the 'word in edgeways' period I ask 'What's the problem Dude' and he says 'They're Curved!', he still sounds a bit tetchy. Now I really do not have a clue as to what is going on here so I take my best shot and suggest.. 'Yes. A Woman's legs are kind of curvy which is what makes Nylon such a good encasement material since it conforms delicately but tightly with the form whilst camouflaging the inherent imperfections in the fe-....' Crap!' I thought I was on a roll there but my left kidney has just suffered an assault from the Girl Freud and the Dude on the phone has gone ballistic about Nylons. I am now standing up and he runs out of breath again. I'm slightly worried he might go terminal so I ask. 'Who are you and what is the problem.' There is a long pause and I think I might be lucky and can hang up but then he draws breath and says 'I am the Chief Engineer at Skylon. The Engines are Curved!' There still seems to be a bit of acid in his voice.. Like, now I'm on the case. It's got nothing to do with Lingerie but those curved engine things that they put up on their web site yesterday having babbled on at me about how good they looked so I'm like... 'Well your marketing department thought they were good like how they integrated into things and stuff and I was sort of wondering which Cool Dude came up with the concept but like I did all the stuff they wanted in the specification, you know.. long, two wings, some other bits and a couple of engines... and in black, and they seemed happy. What's the problem?' He's silent for a while and then I hear gentle sobbing interspersed with some sort of repeated 'They're Curved' Mantra. So I take my cue and in order to avoid more kidney disruption do a bit of Yoga and ohming on the floor. Eventually he goes quiet for a bit, sniffs and then asks if we can meet so I'm like OK cool and he drops by and explains stuff. Apparently curved engines are a bad idea but now the 'higher ups' have released the marketing material, which they think is brilliant, he now has to come up with a curved engine which is not going to work. I take the opportunity to suggest he is not 'thinking outside of the box' and he collapses in a fit of giggles. Possibly something to do with the chocolate and bran flake muffins. At this point the Girl Freud interjects and asks if anyone else knows that curved engines don't work so we both collapse in a fit of giggles and then go catatonic in a deep thought phase. Mine appears to last longer, I appear to be more attuned to chocolate and bran flake muffins than our new acquaintance, because when I next reach for a slice of toast he is talking to my Girl Freuds Girl Freud. Thankfully they have already explained that they are monogamous bisexuals and I am just a 'bit of spare' for when the Girl Freud feels like a break so I do not represent a threat to him in a man to man sense. He seems to be good with the concept and, if I am not mistaken, is blatantly flirting with the Girl Freud's Girl Freud. Now, assuming you have suspended your disbelief so far, and at the risk of another elbow in the ear I will not go Deus ex Machina. In as much as I am a visual artist my Girl Freud practices her art in the arty side of literature. She actually gets a bit pissed off when I have to do work shit that involves drawing 'Machines of Destruction' when she could support us with her contributions to 'Mills and Boon'. However I am foolishly concerned about my own independence. However her Girl Freud is also into literature but the darker side of things along with a healthy lashing of Science Fiction and 'the match is made'. My new Engineer friend becomes my Girl Freud's Girl Freud's 'bit of spare' and is quite happy with the arrangement for reasons other than sex and farting under the duvet in the morning. It became quite easy to explain why curved engines are quite good to his lesser colleagues and have them pass on the message to a wider audience and.... I feel an emptiness in my head. A void that is filled with the words 'Wouldn't they look better if they were curved?'

Here's how TalkTalk ducked and dived over THAT gigantic hack

Camilla Smythe

"It's as if a car manufacturer sold a new car that can go at 100 mph, which turns out to use the brake technology from a 1908 Model T. They would be liable for the subsequent deaths and injuries."

"It's as if a broadband supplier sold a package that can go at 50Mb/s and throttled it to 10KB/s. They would be liable for errrrrr mumble mumble mumble."

As you were.

EMC shareholders slap biz with class action suit

Camilla Smythe

Shareholders... Hah. Hah Hah....

Last in Line. Buh-Bye. That is all.

In-a-spin Home Sec: 'We won't be rifling through people's web history'

Camilla Smythe

Go Girl...

We won't try to enforce stuff on people who are likely to forcibly tell us to Fuck Off and over whom we have no expectation of influence because we will get comprehensibly Fucked Over if we try... So we will pick on someone else.

Anything else we do not understand and is almost within our reach is fair game as long as you minging bastards let me and my fold have my way.

Why doesn't she go chat up Nick Stringer at the IAB? She obviously needs a, similarly warped, Toy Boy. Maybe someone can toss a Grenade under the bed when they are doing the two backed beast.

Silly me, that's incitement to do something, violent, about the problem. Presumably Dancing Bears do not have access to Grenades..

Maybe she will realise Nick, along with the rest of her attempted sexual conquests, is simply not evil enough to Father her spawn and, having ripped him to shreds in another orgasmic frenzy of powerlust, go into an extreme sulk and vaporize herself.

Something like that anyway. Hopefully there are better people on the case than myself.

The story of .Gay: This bid is too gay! This bid is not gay enough! This bid is just right?

Camilla Smythe

At the risk of being....

Not sure what the word should be,

Are they having the same problems with, for example, Dot Lesbian or is it the case that Dot Gay is doomed to failure because the Dot Hetero community associate Gay with being a 'bloke' thing whilst all the other flavours of sexuality get left out?

TalkTalk downplays extent of breach damage, gives extra details

Camilla Smythe

Allow Me..

Gimp|Iwarp

...Erm... Nope.

...Erm... Nope.

...Erm... Nope.

...Erm... Nope.

...Erm... Nope.

Bugger!1

...Erm... Nope.

...Erm... Nope.

...Erm... Nope.

That's strange. Every attempt improves her.

Fuming Google tears Symantec a new one over rogue SSL certs

Camilla Smythe

ATDT 999

Click-Beep-Beep-Boop-Beep

"Which Service do you Require?"

Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

"Oh Fuck.. Bugger. Drop The Line. Fuck! What's the command?"

Rips the cables out.

'Profoundly stupid' Dubliner's hoax call lost Intel 6,000 hours of production

Camilla Smythe

Wuh?!

"Hammond made the calls from a public phone box 50m from his house at the instigation of a friend with whom he had been “drinking and taking tablets” and who didn’t want to go to work at the factory the following day."

How did Hammond's best pill popping mate get a job in the factory in the first place?

UK ministers, not judges, to sign off on Brit spies' surveillance

Camilla Smythe

Re: Yo Gobshit Granny May

In part. Granted..

"Or perhaps, a lot of them looked at the options and thought ... "hell no, but the alternatives are far worse !". Lets face it, none of the available option at voting time had any plans to do other than this - but the others would have foooked up the economy far more badly while also foooking us over in the name or terrorism."

Your latter part is left for the newly elected people with a 'mandate', when they arrive, to say it was those in here before us who fucked it up but we are going to make it better.

Your latter part is left for the newly elected people with a 'mandate', when they arrive, to say it was those in here before us who fucked it up but we are going to make it better.

Your latter part is left for the newly elected people with a 'mandate', when they arrive, to say it was those in here before us who fucked it up but we are going to make it better.

Your latter part is left for the newly elected people with a 'mandate', when they arrive, to say it was those in here before us who fucked it up but we are going to make it better.

Camilla Smythe

Yo Gobshit Granny May

I did not vote for you along with the rest of your want to be stasi and neither did 64% of the population.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Kingdom_general_election,_2015

The other 36% were 'persuaded' by 'you and yours' lies, their own vested interests or just general shitstupidfuckery.

Reg...

Stop publishing pictures like this,

https://regmedia.co.uk/2015/07/06/theresa_may_648.jpg?x=648&y=348&crop=1

"Not only would they tie things in knots very quickly, but they are not elected and answerable to nobody."

It really really incites me to take a break from downloading tentacle pron and go out on a head/cunt kicking spree.

Ex-Microsoft craft ale buffs rattle tankard for desktop brewery

Camilla Smythe

Bollocks

If the house is not trashed during the party and the guilty bodies are not lying on the floor saying 'Ooh Me Head' the next morning after a gentle kick prior to being re-animated with Full English, including carcinogens, so they can clean the place up prior to brushing their teeth and going down the Pub then it is not 'Home Brew'.

We suck? No, James Dyson. It is you who suck – Bosch and Siemens

Camilla Smythe

Re: Digital motors?

The windings are driven, on or off, using Pulse Width Modulation. PWM.

That makes it digital.

It becomes 'more' digital' because the circuit that generates the PWM signals is probably based on a embedded controller.

No doubt it also becomes even 'more' digital because the embedded controller is capable of being interfaced to The Internet of Things.

"One of the latest Dyson adverts on TV has him saying his are the best because the motor is digital."

I would recommend that you put in a complaint into the ASA. At least they appear to be prepared to deal with blatant fuckwhittery.

Camilla Smythe

Errm

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AAAA_battery

I would have thought such a device would be totally inappropriate for the supposed use purpose.

'Govt will not pass laws to ban encryption' – Baroness Shields

Camilla Smythe

Re: Buh-Duh...

Next thing you know they will be banning something because they are not very good at it. Obviously broken Boris Bikes and cycling in general is safe but you have to wonder about November 11th..

https://regmedia.co.uk/2015/10/28/david_cameron_pmq_smut_filter_law.jpg?x=648&y=348&crop=1

Note to Dave..

See that subversive Boris? Ay? Ay? Behind You!

He's got his poppy on upside down and is after your job. Don't try to see if he floats. Burn the bastard now... Tis the season.

Camilla Smythe

Buh-Duh...

She said: "The Prime Minister did not advocate banning encryption; he expressed concern that many companies are building end-to-end encrypted applications and services and not retaining the keys.

She added that companies that provide end-to-end encrypted applications, such as Whatsapp, which is apparently used by the terror group calling itself Islamic State, must be subject to decryption and that information handed over to law enforcement "in extremis".

Excuse me Mr and Ms complete and utter fucking stupid fucking dimbulbs.

As a member of '$OurDeity Against $YourDeity and Your Spawn, The Only True Path' me and my colleagues regularly use our Linux things to generate TLS and PGP key pairs so we can exchange tasty recipes securely over the Internet and via e-mail.

You may ask "in extremis", has that got something to do with being at the point of orgasm?, for our 'secret' ones but expect to get a face-full of Bolognese Flan up your respective fannies in response.

UK.gov plans to legislate on smut filters after EU net neutrality ruling

Camilla Smythe

Look..

Stop publishing pictures like this,

https://regmedia.co.uk/2015/10/28/david_cameron_pmq_smut_filter_law.jpg?x=648&y=348&crop=1

It really really incites me to go out on a head kicking spree and helps me identify other glib faced targets beyond the obvious subject.

Balloon-lofted space podule hits 30,000m

Camilla Smythe

I'm the pilot.

Just got to work out how to explain why the Yuppies look like they have been blended when we get back to Earth.

European Parliament rejects amendments to net neut rules, waves through law

Camilla Smythe

Never Mind...

I am certain Mr Orlowski will be along to explain things in due course.

TalkTalk attack: UK digi minister recommends security badges for websites

Camilla Smythe

Yes and No

"Yes and no. For example, I can buy something using Paypal and, although Paypal have my details, the retailer that I am buying from does not."

you received a payment of $XX.XX from 2+2=5@pantysniffers4U.yandex.ru

Glad to be corrected..

Camilla Smythe

Here's a Good Idea.

<caps on>

WHY DON'T YOU COMMENTARDS JUST FUCK OFF AND MING ON ABOUT SOMETHING LESS IMPORTANT LIKE THE SIZE OF JUSTIN BEIBER'S ARSE BECAUSE IT IS NOT AS IF ANYTHING YOU SAY ON THE PRESENT SUBJECT WILL MAKE A FUCK OF A BIT OF DIFFERENCE.

</CAPS OFF>