* Posts by SisterClamp

92 publicly visible posts • joined 2 Apr 2009

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Careless tweets cost lives, warns MoD

SisterClamp
Mushroom

Lost on me...

...because I could hardly understand what the two young women are saying! Don't they have elocution lessons in British schools, or are the teachers now literally mind-readers?

As for "It may not just be friends and family reading your status updates", please to remember that that definitely includes members of several government intelligence agencies. Makes you wonder who the real terrorists are.

HP: Apotheker rolls more heads

SisterClamp
Holmes

Two things...

1) Leo's strategy might make sense...if he was a competent manager in any way.

2) Ann's promotion is proof positive of that Dilbert cartoon that says: "Attendance is 90% of success."

Germans completely humourless: Official

SisterClamp
Thumb Up

Thanks for the link,

the kids loved it. Combined mechanics and equipment safety tips, German language (they're learning it) plus gore. Better than a zombie movie! Educational too.

SisterClamp
Devil

Ah yes, "Sex Mission"....

....even just following along as a non-Polish speaker, it was quite humorous. Yes, can't believe the Poles rated so low, although an awful lot of it is/was contextual.

Gordon Ramsay menaced by enormous TURKEY

SisterClamp

Already have one of those darling...

...and a couple of geeklets too, but always appreciate a hat-tip from a fellow Perry fan. Interestingly, I have a degree in psychology and am an ex-martial artist as well. The rest I'll leave to your imagination. ;)

SisterClamp
Mushroom

Oh dear

I know, as a woman, I'm supposed to like these movies but (a) the trailer saved me the bother (well noted, Popbitch), and (b) I'd rather see things explode amidst a gory cacophony of bullets, flesh, fire accelerants and rampaging robots. That's why I, like you gentlemen, am a geek. So I hear the latest Mandriva's out.......

German salesmen rewarded with meticulously organised orgy

SisterClamp
Heart

Aw what sweeties!

The fact that it took soooo long for someone to mention "latex" tells me that, regardless of your ribald, macho comments, the vast majority of you are either in monogamous relationships or banging the ole sausage every night. That's so sweet. Big smooches to each and every one of you darlings.

There really should be a condom icon here, Sarah.

‘We’ll get to the bottom of this’ – HP boss

SisterClamp
Grenade

Managerial fail

His ideas have some merit but I never thought Leo had the 'nads nor neurons to actually execute on revitalising the barren apocalyptic landscape that Hurd left behind. I can see that he's doing a splendid job with the hunting down of people who dare share the bleeding obvious though. Putz.

And, oh yeah, what AC above said.

A once-proud ex-HPer

A grenade because...well, guess.

Trujillo embraces his inner amigo

SisterClamp

Don't forget...

to also include people from Sydney (if you live in Melbourne), people from Adelaide (if you live in Sydney), people from Perth (if you live in Brisbane), and so on. I remember well the anonymous phone calls in Melbourne telling us that "we'll run all you migrants out of our country" and the "Asians Get Out" signs in the Gold Coast hinterland. Ah happy times, happy times.

Acer shows laptop lid look tablet

SisterClamp

I don't mind Acer...

...we have a few Acers around the house but, in terms of features and most bang for your buck, I don't think you can move past Asus. I'll be watching this one for a price (and it does look cool) but I'll be comparing it to any Asus offerings before I make my final decision.

DEC founder Ken Olsen is dead

SisterClamp
Pint

I cut my teeth...

...on the PDP-11, then progressed to the VAX. I still have fond memories of VAX's assembler language and have the occasional delusion of teaching it to the kids, such is my fond nostalgia.

I was devastated at the news that Compaq bought Digital and now to hear that Olsen has passed...? Will definitely raise a glass in his honour tonight. I have great memories of fantastic engineering, all of which have now, as someone else pointed out, been subsumed by marketing crap and vapourware Powerpoint presentations.

'al-Qaeda suicide cat' sends US Iraq war robots out of control

SisterClamp

@Random Noise

Dogs are haram (forbidden). So no al-Qaeda bitches. Only pussies.

Herd of sheep, off tits on drugs, savagely Tased

SisterClamp

@ AC

Altar boys, surely!

Steve Jobs: 'Pad? That's my word'

SisterClamp
Thumb Up

I thought it was funny....

....reading Fake Steve Jobs' blog (http://bit.ly/aQq41Q), but I see you can't beat the real thing!

The desktop demands of board-level managers

SisterClamp
Grenade

You missed a third approach

Put contracts out on the most stupid of the high-level managers. That should buck up their neuron firing a bit.

Spies caught plundering secret Indian docs

SisterClamp

They can plunder all they like.......

if the missile systems are anything like the systems integration work I've seen, nothing will work!

Experts reboot list of 25 most dangerous coding errors

SisterClamp
Grenade

Just the start...

C'mon guys, I know there are a lot of real techies here. Aren't you just the least bit sick of "developers" who wouldn't know a pre-test from a post-test loop? Managers who don't know the difference between a web server and a mail server? As a computer scientist, I've seen the industry go to hell in a handbasket, and it's not just due to the Indians. Tell me you haven't seen a complete dunce get employed just because they know the hiring manager? I've seen History graduates, secretaries and frickin' carpenters hired as IT developers and consultants. Where's the quality under such conditions?

HP used to have a policy that only people with computing degrees were employed within the company. (Okay, they also had one against hiring women, but let's just go with the positives for the moment.) I say we get back to that and maybe claw back some of the self-respect that disappeared when our promotion got given to someone who could swim 200m faster than anyone else. Bitter? Not much.

MySQL handler Jacobs walks out on Oracle

SisterClamp
IT Angle

Wow, all these replies...

...and nothing on Ken Jacob's resignation. C'mon guys, focus!

Mozilla overlooked malware-laced Firefox add-ons

SisterClamp

@kissingthecarpet

I can't think of anything more boring than (2^8)-1 virgins...unless it's 2^8 virgins. As with most things in life, give me real experience anytime!

Scott McNealy signs off in style

SisterClamp
Coffee/keyboard

@GreyCells

I don't know, GC. I was in Silicon Valley and nobody wanted to work for Sun back in the late 90s. From what I gathered, the culture was highly aggressive, back-stabbing and with a high turnover. Hardly anyone seemed to last more than 2 years in the company. Burn out.

When we, in another high-tech company, lost one cunning and less-than-honest manager, we (peer managers and our direct reports) weren't too surprised that he went to Sun.

Maybe it was different in other parts of the world? Loved, loved loved their hardware though!

Asus goes wide with Bang & Olufsen laptop

SisterClamp
Gates Horns

All that....

....and only a pissy 120GB hdd??!!!!! How can they be serious? Nice kit otherwise. I'll be looking at Linux compatibility myself.

Ladies put off tech careers by sci-fi posters, Coke cans

SisterClamp

Letters and/or digits

My desk is stacked with Linux distros on CD, catalogues, bottles of nail polish, USB sticks and a couple of nail files. It also contains 3 screens (2 lappies, 1 desktop, 2 of them running Linux, natch!). The rest of my home office contains another Linux lappy, an Enterprise model with light & sound effects :), an ST:TOS shuttlecraft perched on top of my polarised light lamp, books, 2 printers, blank CD/DVD spools, a digital frame that shows cool wallpapers I've collected along with pix of the family, and posters from Reservoir Dogs and Trainspotting. Oh, and a 5ft aquarium. It's dark and warm. Hubby's home office is bright, spotless and airy with the obligatory 3 machines as well on his desk as well. But the rest of it is clean, sparse, less humid and more pastel-y. Also, he likes pink. We're both in IT. Gads, I love stereotypes.

New Zealand rated least corrupt country

SisterClamp
FAIL

SINGAPORE??!!!

Not corrupt???!!! Hold on while I faint in my kopi C here. Just to be clear, Singaporeans don't "perceive" anything that messes with their little group-think "all foreigners are evil and just want to destroy us! Destroy us, I say!" mindset.

Asus to make grab for Toshiba's notebook biz?

SisterClamp
Thumb Down

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Say it ain't so! I was only telling hubby this morning how I lurve me my Tosh lappies. They're not as fugly as Lenovo, don't run hot like HP/Compaqs, don't have funky BIOSs like the Dells, aren't as flaky as MSIs, and are not as pretentious (or unrealistically expensive) as Sonys. Tosh lappies look nice, are nicely specced and Just. Work. What more does any serious user need?

Asus gunning for the Toshiba notebook business? Say it ain't so!

Latest Moblin Linux polished for netbooks

SisterClamp
Thumb Up

Aspire One? No problems

Worked a treat from a USB stick boot. Loaded fast. Looks rather cute too. My only question is, how do you exit? No, really. Where's the Shutdown button? Couldn't find it.

Microsoft in Bing jingle kiddie vid outrage

SisterClamp

Oh Christ!

It's five-thirty in the morning as I'm writing this and I already need a stiff alcoholic infusion. First on my eyes to burn them forever, then ingested to keep the repression going.

Japanese algorithm 'can tell if you're about to die'

SisterClamp
Happy

I believe efficiency is increased...

...if you say things such as, "OMG! I'm about to--" and then cut the line in a dramatic fashion. But I think that might just be a software Enhancement Request as Development won't be sure whether you're coming or going! Oh, I slay myself!

Ralph Lauren says sorry for incredible shrinking pelvis

SisterClamp
Thumb Up

Second the thanks

@Kwac: thanks for that. Have a daughter growing up and shall keep that in mind.

And I second ToeShoeGirl's sentiments. You guys can be pig-headed, gross, single-minded, simple-minded, etc. etc., at times, but you're now officially OURS after this outpouring. Thanks for the support. Many many smooches, dudes.

Beer drinking model to get caned in Malaysia

SisterClamp
Thumb Down

It's a lot more complicated

1) The Koran says nothing about punishment for drinking alcohol. While it's seen as something Not Good, the Muslim good book considers it to be more a personal matter between the sinner and God.

2) Sisters in Islam, a Malaysian women's Muslim group, has condemned the practice as "cruel and inhuman" and has urged the woman in question, several times, to appeal the decision. With the Koran on their side, there's a good chance the ruling may be mitigated, if not reversed. The woman doesn't want to.

3) The govt. (not the Islamic court) has also tried to give the woman an "out" by suggesting appeal avenues, jail terms (which will, in all probability, quietly melt away to a quick shoo out the door after a couple of months).

4) No man has been caned for alcohol consumption in the past few years; this woman is the first.

So, bearing all the above in mind, why is the woman wanting to go through with it? Only she knows.

Scareware package mimics Windows Blue Screen of Death

SisterClamp
Paris Hilton

@Stu

"Surely the team behind this vaginal belch..."

Is that the same as a penile fart? Paris, because she'd want to know

Tory Lady tries to give bodice-rippers the snip

SisterClamp
Grenade

@GuyHerbert

(I'm sorry to say I don't know who the patron saint of anuses is.)

It's Angel St Michael, Guy. Go to http://www.tetherdcow.com/ to read more than you probably want to know on the painful topic of Anal Haunting. Um, she's serious, it seems.

A grenade, 'cos that's sure to get things moving.

Welsh mum amazed by Marmite Messiah

SisterClamp
Thumb Up

Hand it over

I'll eat Jesus! Lick him off slowly, savouring his salty goodness. Who knows, he might even like it. Should be good for a miracle or two, right?

Cobol hits fifty

SisterClamp

Sister Clamp's definition of Hell

Debugging a COBOL program to a deadline on a 300-baud teletype machine. Decades later and I'm still in therapy.

'Della': Dell's very special site for women

SisterClamp

Oh thank you Dell...

...for seeing through the facade of my skills, experience, and knowledge of tech and getting to my hot, wet core of girly, angsty longing. But not so many pictures of sisters wearing spectacles, please! They look too geeky, too far removed from the moist caverns of my womanness, and I so too want to be a fully capable, cooking and emailing woman like you suggest. (And for only $399. Your generosity knows no bounds, oh masculine masters of Dell.) Big kisses on preferred anatomy portions to all the manly men involved in this. They obviously know exactly what women want. Mwah, sweetie.

2060: Humvee-sized, bulletproof meat-eating spiders attack

SisterClamp

Example from Nature

"Pardosa glacialis are apparently well known for snacking ... (among the females) on insufficiently alert sexual partners." Which is as it should be. Power to the feminist, meat-eating, armoured spiders!

OpenOfficers pitch Oracle on life after Sun

SisterClamp
Linux

If you find OO Writer is too slow to open...

...you can tweak the settings under Tools > Options > OpenOffice.org > Memory. Revise downwards the number of steps required to undo, and the graphics cache required, etc. From taking many many seconds to open, OO Writer now comes up in less than a second for me now. Play away!

Yorkshire man wakes up Irish after brain surgery

SisterClamp

It all sounds...

...like a zero-sum game to me. And the "terrifying" comment...? Priceless.

Konami nixes Six Days in Fallujah

SisterClamp

I wonder...

...what depictions the merkins objected to? The lobbing of phosphorus on all remaining residents, or the graphic gunning down of small boys? I mean, since they did it (as filmed by an Italian TV crew), the least they could do is have the balls to own up to it. Right?

Wikipedia's Norwegian press officer cuffed for killing mum

SisterClamp

Sometimes...

...you gotta do what you gotta do.

Brazilian ejected as lingerie arouses border staff suspicions

SisterClamp

Hold on a tic...

If she wasn't carrying any explosives, or hair gel more than 50ml in capacity, or Swiss army knives, or plastic chopsticks, or wearing an incendiary t-shirt bearing the image of Optimus Prime, why did she get stopped in the first place? A single, brown-skinned woman who's been stopped and questioned at LAX (prior to 9/11) wants to know if this is a UK case of profiling?

Conspiracy theories aplenty as Amazon delists gay books

SisterClamp

Not just homosexuality...

...but also anything tagged "erotic" or "sex" as one of its metadata categories. And also seemed to affect all worldwide sites. (I know, how will El Reg readers get their jollies now?) Also, this has been slowly happening for at least a couple of months, so any of the "sudden glitch" explanations sound more like CYA than the truth. Other than that, everything's peachy!

Moderatrix quits El Reg: Latest

SisterClamp
Flame

Piling on

After all that, it's obvious that Samantha can't be expected to shoulder this burden on her own. Just the impetus I needed to join this rowdy crew.

Flames because -- as someone married to someone somewhat famous once said (XY, btw) -- sometimes throwing gas [sic] on a fire makes it worse ... sometimes it puts it out.

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