Posts by Ian Ferguson

OMG! US science quangocrats surf porn at work!

And how much does a porn filter cost?

And how much does a porn filter cost?

Bletchley Park earns first ever lottery grant

Brilliant

Lottery money heading in the right direction for once.

Now if only they could get the Enigma-cracking machines predicting lottery results ;)

Microsoft's support tweaks leave some email admins out in the cold

What?!

Bahahaha - and Microsoft wonder why us sysadmins refuse to upgrade to a new OS or system application for the first year or so, or more in the case of server operating systems.

Swedish military combustobra: Jubtastic snap

C'mon

Where's the gun nuts to complain about the unrealistic weapons and how US citizens would never be seen dead using the same ammunition as the Swedish military and how the Reg are obviously inept because they don't know the difference between .44 and .45? :D

Personally, I'm more concerned that nobody's noticed the stealth bomber overhead. Is it an overpriced, underequipped Eurofighter?

Twitter gets $100m injection

I'm confused

I read that in the wrong order.

Archos punts 9-inch Windows 7 tablet PC

OK but

no 3G, no multitouch - what's the point?

There's water on the Moon, scientists confirm

So there's water...

...but are there whales?

Talking DAB and the future of radio

Not convinced

I can buy a pocket-sized FM radio for a pound, in the pound shop. Almost all second hand cars come with FM radios. Many mobile phones do too as the electronics are so basic.

This almost brings FM into the 'free' mentality of pirated music - why should we pay for a more restrictive service, when we can get what we want for free?

DAB is going to take a loooong time to take off; I think it's more likely that other data and content networks will replace radio, like Spotify and iPlayer but more evolved.

Pull the plug on Pandas, declares BBC man

Interesting

I kind of agree with 'censored' above - even without human involvement, pandas would have died out. But I disagree with anyone who says it doesn't actually matter what we do, though. Taking it to it's logical conclusion, in the grand scheme of things, it won't ACTUALLY matter if you live or die either, so why don't you jump off a tall building?

Google tramples on 'keywords' meta tag charge

This is why

the semantic web is stillborn. Yes, you can apply meaning to objects, but what's to say the meaning is correct?

Elon Musk, Eberhard 'resolve' Tesla Motors wrangle

There's only one way to decide this...

Electric car destruction derby!!!

Society bible lectures students on etiquette

Fresher's advice:

You don't HAVE to drink continuously and copiously.

I do drink quite happily myself, but I find it intensely irritating when people ASSUME that students have to get drunk constantly. It's putting unneccessary social pressure on young minds who may be experiencing alcohol in unlimited quantities for the first time.

Twitter slaps itself with $1bn price tag

Great!

This is great news - it means the Twitter service will carry on for at least a year or two without pushy advertising; and by that time the next big thing will have come along and I won't be interested in Twitter any more!

I love the internet freebie ride :)

Rich people cannot feel pain, don't care if they're liked

Rich or happy?

A bit of simple logic will tell you that these people made to 'feel rich' will feel happier as a result, and the people made to feel poor will feel less happy.

A more obvious and scientific conclusion is that the happier you are, the less you are affected by pain.

Doctor Who fans name best episode ever

What?!

Where's the excellent episode with Peter Kay as the baddie?

Or the one where David Tennant shrivels up and is kept in a little cage before being saved by the power of human luuurve?

Muse eye Bond theme

Eh?

I'd like the chance to have a go at the next James Bond theme, too. So? Unless the producers ASK them if they'd like to, how is this news?

I'm not denying they're a good band, but I'm not sure why the press are climbing over each other to report this. I'm sure there's lots of bands who would like to do the Bond theme.

Bus driver becomes Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov

Funnily enough

he looks exactly how I'd expect a Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov to look.

Abigail's Windows 7 Party

Meheheh

I do hope your guests were a young, affluent, stylish mix of races.

BOFH: Trussssst in me

There are two things that make work on Friday afternoon bearable

1. BOFH

2. B3ta

Church altar smites devout Catholic

Can this be nominated for a Darwin Award?

After all, he was stupid enough to believe an invisible man in the sky released him from his lift ordeal.

British troops get nifty techno-gunsights

I agree with the troll

More kit to help British people kill foreigners. I don't see how this is progress.

I know, peacekeeping, blah de blah - but the arms trade fair is sick, no two ways about it.

Not to mention how much kit is bought from the Israelis - funding their illegal ethnic cleansing.

Asus intros stylish binary-inspired monitors

Oh I get it

From the side it looks like a 1 and a 0. Kind of. Maybe. Hmm.

Byrne's naked shorting crusade outs Yahoo! security vuln

Hacker?

So Judd Bagley is freely admitting that he's been hacking, illegally? As much as I agree with their cause, his actions are not going to help their point.

Microsoft tells US retailers Linux is rubbish

Missing the point

Rather than claiming that Linux is incompatible with most devices (technically incorrectly), Microsoft should just point out how easy it is to set them up in Windows, and how bloody complicated it is in Linux.

I'm sure the Linux fanboys are whining about how every item in the list can be achieved just fine in Linux, but the fact is 99.9% of consumers don't have the patience or motivation to try.

Super-soldier exoskeletons ready for troop tests in 2010

You know you want to

Push him over onto his back :D

Italian Army gets medi-telemetry earrings

Arms Fair

I've got nothing against you Lewis - your journalism here is always excellent - but the arms fair is just plain sick.

Microsoft pimps bogus Windows 7 'launch parties'

Multicultural?

Whoa, whoa! Where's the token Asian student in that picture?

RACISTS!

Wikipedia to crack down on celebrity Wikideaths

Ted Kennedy

So he's still alive really?

;-)

Three-way fight for Real's iPhone-Rhapsody application

PR hit at rejecting it?

Hell would freeze over before I let a Real application on my iPhone.

Internet junkie detox center claims US first

I have a better solution

There's a much better solution, which might take a bit of initial effort but brings all the same benefits, without ANY cost. In fact, you'll make a profit!

It's called, 'Getting a Job'.

Sites pulling sneaky Flash cookie-snoop

Um, so?

Hands up who reads the terms and conditions of every site they visit.

Sex Offenders returns to iTunes

Next logical step

I'm going to write an app that uses 'enhanced reality' and image recognition to check all faces in your field of view against publically available criminal records (ie. the mugshots of every arrest available through court records online in America). Then you'll be able to wander down the street, finding out who in your field of view has been arrested, and what for.

Web 2.0 - making mob mentality simple!

Tr.im cuts air supply, says no money in tiny Web 2.0 pot

Shame

They provided a pretty good service, with statistics and wotnot; but all these services are pretty much the same.

I'm not sure why Twitter themselves prefer bit.ly - do they have a stake?

I used tr.im because it's a whole letter shorter than bit.ly.

So... how long until the statement on their homepage appears on the Twitter homepage verbatim, except that 'tr.im' is replaced with 'Twitter'....

YouTube clarifies ban on privacy, harassment and threats

"Don't leave threatening comments on other people's videos."

Good heavens, does that mean I will be forced to stop posting insightful criticism such as "LOL UR A MORONN"?

Researcher: Twitter attack targeted anti-Russian blogger

Twitter FAIL

Can't they just block all requests to view this guy's profile, for a few days?

Twitter is still struggling today, they really don't know how to handle this, do they.

I don't know where to shout my pithy statements, so I'll have to do it here for a while, sorry.

Apple blueprints warranty Big Brother

Warranty only

I don't see why this is a big deal. If you want to take your iPhone apart, it'll almost certainly be to replace the battery. If the battery fails within the warranty period, then get Apple to pay to do so, why bother yourself? And if it's outside the warranty period, then it doesn't matter if it can detect you opening it, because there's no longer any warranty to void.

The only circumstances in which this would be annoying is if you just want to open it up to have a poke around. Most people (like myself) inclined to do this won't be too bothered about a warranty.

Apple denies censoring App Store swear words

Just to be sure

If a 16 year old goes into Waterstones and tries to buy a dictionary, they check his ID and then refuse the sale? Right?

Twitter sued for patent infringement

Oh, Texas lawyers

You cr-aaaazzzey bunch!

Murdoch says Page 3 won't be free from next year

Meh heh heh

As they say on Slashdot; "...and nothing of value was lost."

Mind you, there is one subscription system which DOES seem to work online; adverts on the free version, pay for the ad-free version. I'm surprised more places don't do this (The Reg, I'm looking at you); they may only get a trickle of subscriptions, but it's not giving up the core advertising business, not crippling links, OR turning away readers who only want things for free.

Robotic personal photographer unveiled

Parties?

How long before one of these is 'accidently' left on in the corner of a girl's dormitory.

MoD to bin F-35B navy jumpjets in favour of tailhook birds?

War news

This genuinely isn't a troll, I find Lewis Pages' articles interesting and excellently researched; but I'm just wondering why The Reg, an IT news site, runs so much military vehicular news?

I realise there is a IT tech / mechanical tech interest crossover, but The Reg gives commercial vehicle news just about the right coverage (ie. articles about electric vehicles and other innovations).

8GB iPhone 3GS inbound?

Wrong end of stick

The snapped headline reads to me that they are running down their stock of 8gb 3G, to be replaced by the 3GS (of indeterminate size); not that the '8gb' part applies to the '3GS' part.

Met amends journo photo guidance to prevent interference

Awesome

I'm going to print out that page from their site and keep it with my camera.

Just to clarify, does anyone know if these guidelines will hold any weight outside of London? It's all very well if the Met are clued up, but the village policeman in the provinces are just as anti-camera, and probably less knowledgable about these laws.

X-51 ordinary-fuel scramjet to fly in December

Come on, be honest

This technology is being developed for missiles, not planes.

Home Office mum over mad March at the CRB

Appeal in 21 days?

Seriously, if I was offered a sensitive job, and then my CRB check came back with a positive, does anyone really expect the employer to hang around for 21 days while I appeal it? Nope, they'd drop me like a greasy lead weight and employ the next sucker to walk through the door.

Likewise, if I did have a dodgy past but the check came back with a negative, who would notice? Who would appeal?

What's Welsh for Orange?

Fail

1. No press release in Welsh

2. No Welsh version of their website

3. Will their bills be in Welsh?

4. Will their customer service lines be manned by Welsh speakers?

5. No jokes about dial-a-sheep please

Launch your own satellite for only eight grand

Awesome!

Anyone fancy chipping in so I can send a poo into space?

Is Apple plotting a search of its own?

Wouldn't matter so much if Google worked better on the iPhone

I agree, internet search on the iPhone is pants. But it would mainly help if Google created a decent iPhone application to cover all their services. The current application appears to just be a launching pad for opening services in Safari. Native app fail.

Linux Foundation urges fans to sign up to Visa credit card

Awesome!

I'm going to get one of these and then rush out and buy Linux!

Oh, wait...

Satire website survives domain name challenge

@ Roger Pearse

Yeah, and they're ALL OUT TO GET YOU, right?