Posts by Kenny Millar

Microsoft gets hip with da yoof to flog email

Forget Live

Forget Live, Hotmail and Messenger because .Mac (MobileMe) and iChat are far superior.

Jobs and Apple board fingered in backdating civil lawsuit

The case will go like this...

Court: How do you plead?

Jobs & Co: Put it this way, your Honour, if you find us guilty, we'll move our operation (and all it's tax dollars) to Mexico.

Court: We find the defendents Not Guilty.

Oh, nearly forgot to say, Buy a Mac, they're much better than windows Vista.

Mine is the one with the detachable fake wig.

Asus readies iMac attack with all-in-one Eee

WHat the feck is this?

Why would anyone want to put a hot, noisy fan-heater on their desk right in front of them? At eye level too!

If you want a Mac, buy a Mac and stop farting about with the darkside.

Google's Street View spycar clocked in London

@Tim

Look, Tim, if I can see you walking down the street, and I can remember that I saw you walking down the street, then there is NOTHING to stop me taking a picture of you walking down the street. A photograph, or even video, is just a permanent reminder of something the photographer saw. If you don't want to be photographed, then don't leave the house, and keep your curtains shut.

Oh, and buy a Mac, they are better than windows machines.

Dell offers 'Windows Vista Bonus' to frightened customers

never mind dell, buy a Mac

Buy a Mac instead, they're far superior.

El Reg procures OGC mousemat

2 Things

1. You should adjust the whitebalance on your camera, it's way off!

2. Mousemats - just shows how out of date the UK Gov is.

Oh, and 3, Buy a Mac, they're better than windows machines.

Telegraph falls to the Tw*t-O-Tron

I know who should go into the prison state...

All Mac haters.

There I said it.

Yes, bob, it was me.

Mines the one with the arms that buckle together at the back.

Legless Swede attempts to row home

Voice synthesis?

Ah, yes, you'll need an Apple Mac for that.

Flying cars on the horizon, says Clive Sinclair

The C5 - what's in a name?

CLive Sinclair (before he became, Sir Clive) was really into the Zilog Z80 processor family - all his little, er, 'computers', were based on it.

In Z80 Assembly language, C5 was PUSH BC, which could be construed as 'Push ByCycle' if you take a mental squint at it. However, I prefer to think that it was simply his initials, in that 1980's sort of computer font C5 would have looked almost exactly like CS.

Mine is the one with the big furry hood.

Canon EOS 450D digital SLR

£50 cash back from Canon until August too!

Yip, buy one from any reputable place and you can send off to Canon for a £50 cash back.

AVG disguises fake traffic as IE6

2 solutions

1. Google should put AVG's link on every set of search results returned, the resulting bandwidth directed at AVG should put a squib in their arse.

2. Everyone buy a Mac, since there is much less malware, you wouldn't need the scanner in the first place.

Intel says 'no' to Windows Vista

What's vista?

Oh, I remember, that was the Mac OS X wannabe that no one wnated.

;-)

Knight Rider satnav spied in the wild

It's a NavMan

It's a junked up navman.

Dutch boffins clone Oyster card

DDoS

Are you not going to tell us about the DDoS attack, or do we have to wait for the next installment?

3G iPhone not ready for the enterprise?

Even without encryption

Its a far superior device.

And before you shoot me down, if you've never used one, and never had the chance to compare one to any other 'smart'phone then shut up until you can put up.

I've been using smartphones for a while, and can tell you, the iPhone is years ahead of the competion in terms of usability.

I got OUT OF THE WAY to avoid using my current, Windows Mobile based device, but I love using the iPhone.

US woman sues over exploding thong

Is a V-string better than .....

A Mac Book Air?

Microsoft: keep your sticky mitts off our language runtime

A what release?

What's a 'first-full' release?

One that's full of 'firsts' ?

3 pre-pay database server has a Sunday snooze

They should get this...

www.neverfail.com

UK electricity crisis over - for now

There is something missing here.

In Scotland there are hydro stations such as the one at Cruachan which can come online in as little as 28 seconds, and at worst 2 Minutes notice.

At the time that Longannt went offline, cruacan would have been sitting idle and ready to go. So why wasn't it brought online?

The reason in twofold. 1. Hydro power is expensive - more expensive than gas, coal or nuclear fuel.

2. It's GOOD for the power companies to create the illusion of power shortages as they can then trump about the 'power crisis' and justify inflated prices.

The honest truth about this is that Scotland's hydro stations could have matched the missing power from Longannet and Sizewell within seconds. But this option wasn't used - for political and propaganda reasons.

Palm's new OS not dead, just going Nova

Why don't they...

...just license Mac OS X as used on the iPhone/iPod Touch?

Mine is the one with the flame retardant finish.

Asus speaks out on UK Eee PC 900 battery issue

Can't legally have a shorter warranty in europe.

European law REQUIRES that everything comes with a minimum 2 Years warranty. A fact that seems to be lost on most manufacturers.

We should also remember that warranties are IN ADDITTION to our statutory rights, which state that anything we 'buy' must be 1. Merchantable quality, 2. Fit for purpose and 3.Last a reasonable amount of time.

No amount of clever wording in your '12 month' warranty can take away from your statutory right for things to work for a 'reasonable amount' of time.

Apple sued over Mighty Mouse

Now I'm normally a Mac Head...

...but this time I'm in favour of M&M's case against Apple.

Come on the wee man!

Mine is the one with the leather patch on the elbow.

3 told to cut rates

Still a rip off

Still a rip-off compared the actual cost of providing the service.

Sikorsky X2 superwhirlybird enters ground spin-up phase

You only have to look

... at something to know it's wrong.

Even if it was whisper quiet and could do 400 Knotts whilst sipping gently at a non-organic fuel, people still wouldn't use it simply because it just doesn't look right.

What would be so wrong with a good old fashioned jet turbine, mounted just below the rotor disc, with harrier-style nozzles to aid VTOL ?

Mine is the one with the oil stains.

Serve up iTunes with Apple's media browser

Great

Nice article. Thanks! I'd like to see more like this on El reg.

Feds nab modern-day Bonnie and Clyde

heh heh hehehe you said 'Burglarizing'

So they turned their friends home into a burglar?

I think you mean 'burgling'.

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/burgled

Windows XP SP3 blame game begins

How long before..

..MS state that affected users should update to Vista - and it won't be long before many more problems rise to the surface - somewhat suspiciously - for XP, causing people to upgrade to Vista out of shear frustration with XP.

Windows XP SP3 sends PCs into endless reboot

Forget XP, Forget Visat

Buy a Mac.

Seriously. Why not? They are safer, faster and no more expensive. (Despite what a few XP Zealots who have never even tried one will tell you.)

If you've never tried a Mac in recent years, then don't even bother to reply since you have no right to talk about things you've never tried.

Inventor of first practical transistor dead at 91

Not invention, discovery

The transistor, the bi-polar junction etc were not 'inventions' they were discoveries.

Google starts Street View in Europe

'Privacy' is not the correct word.

You are not 'private' when you walk down a public road, or otherwise appear in public. Neither is your cars number plate.

If I can 'see' you with my eyes and 'remember' that I saw you with my mind, then whats the problem if I see you with my camera and remember that I saw you with some kind of storage system?

Secondly, the process of blurring faces and number plates, if they really must, is easily accomplished by means of techniques such as Amazon's Mechanical Turk. This uses humans to identify faces and other privacy senstitive information. Not every frame needs to be analyzed, one in 10 or 20 frames may be sufficient for an automated system to interpolate the rest.

Ballmer bitch slaps Vista

Unbiting my toungue...

Why not just get a Mac?

Cheaper, faster, safer, runs everything you need.

Hacker blasts Mac clone maker's licence 'violation'

Brick in waiting.

Like that's not gonna get bricked at the very next software update!

Schoolboy's asteroid-strike sums are wrong

Spoilsport

Here was me thinking how nice it would be to switch of the TV and have a few nights out watching a chain reaction as one satellite spins out of control into the next and so on....hopefully the first to go would be the Astra sats so loved by BSKYB.

My left arm is already in...

Nintendo preparing DS Lite update, pundit claims

Its the revolution

It'll be 3d motion based (Like the wii controller) and be called the revolution.

Nokia confirms 'iPhone killer' handset in pipeline

@Ya Tube

Yip indeed!

I totally agree, any one who thinks £700 costs in the first year before any call or texts is a good deal, must be a tube.

Tube, as david says, is a derogatory term in scotland, meaning the same as Ya Dick.

As for the nokia, shouldn't it be called the 'Nokia ME2' ?

Royal Mail sites hit by downtime cock-up

It'll be up in 24 hours

If they tell you it'll be up by 9:30 tomorrow morning, you can actually expect it at 14:45 on tuesday.

How BA handles lost luggage complaints: Shock picture

And she was wearing

She was wearing White trousers when she got off the plane ;-)

New banking code cracks down on out-of-date software

So they should outlaw IE too

So are they going to tell you that you should only use FireFox, Safari or any other non-IE based browser too?

Facebook security hole exposes Paris Hilton's . . . um, pics

Stupid users.

You posted photos to an internet site. Of course they're gonna be public, regardless as to any so called security the site promises.

When will people learn that there are no locks and bolts on the net.

Tool makes mincemeat of Windows passwords

The real issue

Is not firewire, the firewire protocol or any 'bug' in firewire.

The real issue is that windows uses well publicised <i>physical</i> memory addresses for various parts of the OS and this is bad.

Having direct access to physical memory is not as useful as it first seems, since all modern operating systems use virtual memory, and any virtual memory block could be read/written into just about any physical memory locations, which makes it very difficult to predict what is where in physical memory at any time, except of course for Windows', linux's and Max OS X's placing of some sensitive parts of the OS into known and publicised physical memory locations.

The real solution is for the OSes, if really necesary to have these things at a fixed physical location, to dynamically allocate that location at boot time and prebind executable as they are loaded. Rather than hard coding it into the libraries.

Apple sued over iPhone caller ID

simple solution

How about a change in the law such that:

When filing for a patent, the patent OWNER must show that he will actually develop and sell products based on said patent. Patents may not be obtained purely to prevent others from creating such products, or to collect royalties from others. In other words, patents would only be issued as a means to protect a companies IP in real products.

Apple posts iPhone 1.1.4 update

iPod Touch gets the same update too.

Yip, 1.1.4 for iPod out at the same time.

Software company seeks 'Senior BJ assistant'

There more to this than meets the eye (sorry!)

Take a look at the 'how to apply' section...

Hmm, why would you need to send naked piccies, unless of course there may be 'other duties' attached to this position... I mean job... I mean ... err....you know.

Samsung laptop battery burns

Not as obvious as it seems

Surely, regardless as to the merits of using a laptop on a pillow, the machines internal monitoring should have simply shut the machine off, and stopped charging the battery, as soon as the temperature reached some critical level.

US declares 1400-mile Pacific sat-shoot exclusion zone

Aegis?

Aegis? Surely they won't be trying to do an insurance job on it?

I can see the claim form now..

Item: A big secret satellite.

Cost: $100M

Damage: Totally destroyed

Cause of damage: I smacked it with a big explosive rocket.

CLAIM DENIED - Damage self inflicted.

Ofgem, MoD attack pricey terror-friendly windmills

How exactly

..is wind renewable? How does that work then, plant a wind tree?

Hamster-in-rain emergency prompts 999 call

Police? Emergency? Don't make me laugh.

The police (Scottish: Polis) don't know the meaning of the word 'Emergency'.

Our local police force (Strathclyde) wouldn't turn out for a shooting, so what difference does it make? Whether it takes you a long time or not to get through, you're still not gonna get the copper out of his nice warm station.

Apple on the lookout for one million unlocked iPhones

The missing matter...

I think that due to the way the phones are sold, I think a significant number of people will have bought the phones, took them home then failed the credit score to activate the phone.

Germany flicks off-switch on DAB

It didn't catch on because it is inferior.

The problem with Digital Radio is the same as with Digital TV.

It's fine up to a point, but when you get a moments interference on analogue you might get a slight click, hiss or crackle, but with digital you get a drop out. In terms of radio it means a moments total silence, in things like Digital TV it means a frozen or jumpy picture.

As humans we simply prefer to have a wee bit of interference than to have drop outs.

Sony denies $299 PS3 talk

@The_Police

I think you mean 60GB not 60Gb - please learn the difference between bits and Bytes.