* Posts by Juan Inamillion

529 publicly visible posts • joined 24 Feb 2009


Beta driver turned heads in the hospital

Juan Inamillion

Re: Only 2.5 years in the NHS ....

>The doctor (surgeon) who trashed a PCMCIA card (and messed up the slot on the laptop) because he wanted to take it out and look at it. Except instead of using the eject button/switch/slidey thing, he used a set of forceps!!!!

Could have been even messier if he'd have been a gynaecologist...

Lyft driver takes off with cat, global search ensues

Juan Inamillion

Re: That's criminal

How do you know it was the driver who ejected the cat?

Chap blew up critical equipment on his first day – but it wasn't his volt

Juan Inamillion

Give it a boost

In the late 60's when I was a slightly precocious teenage schoolboy interested in electronics, I convinced my father that I could squeeze a bit more life out of our old black and white TV, that was gradually fading away.

Opening it up I located the mains transformer which, like most in those days, had various taps on it to adjust for slightly different AC mains voltages around the country. I moved the the wire to the next tap, which increased the voltage in by about 10 volts. I switched it on and my father marvelled at the increased brightness of the screen. Maximum brownie points.

Three months later there was a bit of a bang and a burning smell.

Oh well, we needed a new one anyway...

Northern Ireland police may have endangered its own officers by posting details online in error

Juan Inamillion

multiple sheets

Many years ago my then partner and I co-owned a house. We were splitting up, not particularly amicably, accusations of misappropriated money from mortgages on the house etc. She sent me a document prepared by her accountant outlining what they thought the split should be with all the costings. At the bottom I saw the the tell-tale 'Sheet 1' 'Sheet 2' 'Sheet' 3 of a default Excel spreadsheet, and lo and behold there were all their workings, comments and annotations.

Needless to say she failed mightily to stitch me up.

Techie wasn't being paid, until he taught HR a lesson

Juan Inamillion

Never. Ever. Attempt. Humour. At. Immigration.

Seriously, boss? You want that stupid password? OK, you get that stupid password

Juan Inamillion

Lots of people here aged 12 with no experience of the real world and all the dickwads in it who can make your life a misery.

Small acts of revenge which just make life awkward and not necessarily catastrophic.

Juan Inamillion

Re: Just the one letter?

Re the @. I had this recently, a client asked me to take 4 or 5 laptops away and erase them for selling/passing on. Easy enough except when I came to the totally unexpected Italian one and found I couldn’t type in the @ that I had in the wifi password…

Service desk tech saved consultancy Capita from VPN meltdown, got a smack for it

Juan Inamillion

Yes I’d imagine you wouldn’t want any red faces round there…

Meet the merry pranksters who keep the workplace interesting, if not productive

Juan Inamillion


Many years ago my then g/f and I went on holiday to Gomera (one of the smaller Canary Islands). It turned out the island and our hotel in particular were very popular destinations for German tourists. Sure enough every morning we got down to the pool all the sunbeds were either occupied or had towels on them, sometimes for hours with nobody turning up.

One night, late after returning from a local hostelry, definitely a bit worse for wear, we thought what fun it would be to take all the towels from the little store room by the pool and put them out on the sunbeds and see what happened in the morning. We came out at about 10am to an eerily quiet hotel and no-one in or around the pool. Obviously very curious we went to reception and asked where everyone was. The receptionist said 'It's Wednesday, all the Germans have gone on their scheduled walk round the island...'

Killing trees with lasers isn’t cool, says Epson. So why are inkjets any better?

Juan Inamillion

Mono laser all the way

Many many years ago a client gifted me a HP laserjet 1015 A4 printer. I don't really know how long I've had it but I just checked and it could be used on Mac OS9 and I'm now on MacOS 12.6. I don't think I've bothered to install drivers since MacOS X first shipped. It's very fast and economical. I've probably used 4 or 5 toners (which I can buy now at £11).

The bane of my life as an Apple tech was always inkjet printers, I recommended several clients (even domestic ones) to buy colour lasers (Brother have always been particularly good) and bin their inkjets and have never looked back.

p.s. I just saw a for sale advert for a refurbished HP1015 for £145. Way overpriced realistically, you can get the similar but WIFI enabled brand new HP LaserJet M110we for under £90, but the new model uses 'chipped' toner carts at £54 each! Hahahahaha! Way to go HP!

iFixit stabs batteries – for science – so you don't have to

Juan Inamillion

Re: Energy has to go somewhere

'110V site tools in the UK'

I thought this was so the tools didn't get nicked and sold for domestic use...

Evernote's fall from grace is complete, with sale to Italian app maker

Juan Inamillion

Re: Found an interesting explanation recently

That's really interesting. Yes you could use 'tipping point' but that lacks the the catastrophic imperative of 'trust thermocline'. Or I may be talking bollox.

This maglev turntable costs more than an average luxury electric car

Juan Inamillion

Re: Meh

What puzzled me most was looking into studio recording technology and thinking that was the limiting factor. So no matter how much you waste.. I mean spend on playback stuff, you'll never be able to reproduce sound that wasn't there.

Yep, I worked in recording studios most of my working life and can vouch for that. Always especially enlightening when some audiophile named Tarquin rabbits on about things he (it's always he) can allegedly hear on a disc on his Turbo ZXZ1000 Mega system, when I was there at the recording and I know he's talking complete and utterly bolleaux.

Bad UI killed the radio star

Juan Inamillion

Re: And the lesson

Hallelujah to that and double ditto. Errr never happened to me, oh no...not ever...

Hush now: Baby talk has common features across languages and societies

Juan Inamillion

Re: Ding Dong!

Clearly your mum hadn't used the alternative meaning that the ice cream van's bells meant that it had run out of ice cream...

BT strikes to start this month, 40,000 workers to down tools

Juan Inamillion

Re: Go for it

Very briefly, you're talking out of your fundament.

Train drivers are put through 2 years of intensive training before even allowed to drive (assisted) a train on the network. There's a massive amount to learn about signals, health and safety (they're entirely responsible for every passenger, which can be hundreds), they have to learn individual routes so they know where they are in times of problems.

It is most definitely not pushing 'doors close' and 'go'.

And the most recent strike was not even the train drivers, it was the network staff.

Now get back to your class.

Know the difference between a bin and /bin unless you want a new doorstop

Juan Inamillion

Trash storage

Client says his Mac is very slow and he's very fed up, can I fix it 'now'.

Get info on his HD shows it's very nearly run out of free space.

Check his Trash, ooerrr lots of files there, GB's in fact. So I empty it.


"But that's where I save all my stuff!!!!"

To this day I have no idea of the thought process that says 'Save important data in the Trash'.

I'm slightly heartened by the similar experiences in this thread.

Software guy smashes through the Somebody Else's Problem field to save the day

Juan Inamillion

Wiring for safety

A million years ago (well, the 60's...) a friend of mine was working in an 'electrical shop', where back in those days sold appliance which often didn't have mains plugs on the the power lead as there were still a lot of houses with old two pin sockets. When you made your purchase you told the shop assistant what plug you required, took it home and fitted it yourself.

One day an elderly gentleman comes in to buy an electrical kettle. My friend says fine, what plug do you need. The gentleman says three pin please. My friend tells the chap to very careful wiring it up and make sure it's earthed properly. He came back a few days later complaining the kettle didn't work. My friend opened the plug to check the fuse and discovered he's put all three wires onto the earth pin....

NASA fixes Hubble Space Telescope using backup power supply unit, payload computer

Juan Inamillion

And still BT/OpenReach...

...can't fix the fibre connection to a client's house in Belgravia, central London, after 6 weeks of promises.

Juan Inamillion

Re: Sounds vaguely familiar.. LOL

Maybe they thought you'd have it away on your toes...


The black screen of BIOS borkage haunts Space Shuttle Discovery's new home

Juan Inamillion

Re: Strike the F1

I take Strike to mean 'press and immediately release', 'Press' can mean 'press until something happens'.


Openreach to UK businesses: Switch is about to hit the fan. Prepare for withdrawal of the copper-based phone network now or risk disruption

Juan Inamillion

Re: 1987

In 1976 BT told me there was a 12 month waiting list for a phone. The only way to get one quicker was to install a payphone - yes that's right. Oh and this was in Bromley, Kent.

Australian Federal Police hiring digital evidence retrieval specialists: Being a very good boy and paws required

Juan Inamillion

Re: Ice cream distraction

Just so you know, chocolate can be fatal for a dog, along with avocados, xylitol (sweetener in candy, gum, toothpaste and some baked goods), caffeine, grapes, raisins and alcohol.

A floppy filled with software worth thousands of francs: Techie can't take it, customs won't keep it. What to do?

Juan Inamillion

Not entirely unrelated...

In an earlier life I was a recording engineer in a London studio. Large multitrack (2" 16 or 24 track) analogue tapes were starting to be moved around different studios and eventually overseas, particularly the US. (Much much cheaper to send someone with a tape to New York and record a band there than to ship the band to the UK!).

However, US customs suddenly cottoned on to the fact that these tapes contained 'product', albeit unfinished music tracks, albums etc. So they started to charge import duties based on some figure that they thought these were worth. The courier would then have to make frantic phone calls to make payment. Anyway someone worked out that the courier should say that the tape was only a backup tape (there's your IT angle) with only an intrinsic value of the cost of the tape. Amazingly this worked....

Yep, you're totally unique: That one very special user and their very special problem

Juan Inamillion

Re: When turn off/turn on fails

But you have to remove the teeth...


Watchdog urges Tesla to recall 158,000 Model S, X cars to fix knackered NAND flash that borks safety features

Juan Inamillion

Re: Great

I haven't owned a car for a long time but I rent a lot (e.g. car club or Hertz for longer period - it's cheaper for me than owning), therefore I get to try a lot of different cars. By far the biggest pain in the butts are the ones with everything in the sodding 'infotainment' system. As far as I'm concerned it's no different to using a phone while driving. Even if I familiarise myself before setting off ( Yet Another System...) I still don't consider safe to use while driving. Even having controls on the steering wheel doesn't work as you still need to work out which button does what and how many levels you have to go through to get to what you want.

The Novell NetWare box keeps rebooting over and over again yet no one has touched it? We're going on a stakeout

Juan Inamillion

Re: Fluorescents...

Early 80's I bought a Philips colour tv, I think 19" maybe 21". After a year it started to play up. Had it fixed, a few months later more problems; fixed, a few months later... anyway, you get it. I eventually got a chatty engineer who told me Philips tv's always suffered from dry joints and the fix was to just reflow them every so often.

Much later I had a Philips VCR and Hifi (I was working for someone who was sponsored by Philips CD...). The hifi fell apart, literally, after a few weeks. The VCR lasted a while though. Shit software.

Absolutely avoided Philips ever since.

Who knew that hosing a table with copious amounts of cubic metres would trip adult filters?

Juan Inamillion

Re: Inside joke?

Yep many years ago (before I was in IT actually) I /cough/ came across Wang Care. It was related to some computer equipment on an early very high end synthesiser (Synclavier, since you ask). The staff at the distributors apprised me of it straight way, to much nudge nudging.

Millions wiped off value of Capita outsourcing deal with English councils amid 'further contract variation agreement'

Juan Inamillion

Re: Interesting choice of words

I did the same thing so... surely shome mishtake.

Did I or did I not ask you to double-check that the socket was on? Now I've driven 15 miles, what have we found?

Juan Inamillion

Token ring

Client with half a dozen Apple Macs with the AAUI interfaces and connected via BNC in a token ring. On two previous occasions a connector had 'come undone' and on each visit to fix it was carefully pointed out what had happened when they 'lost their network'. The third time I insisted they checked every connection and they insisted that it was all ok . I walked in and before I'd even removed my coat I pointed to the connector on the desk... 'No No NO' they insisted they'd checked... I connected it and walked out in less than 5 minutes and charged the full call out fee.

If you suddenly can't print to your HP Printer from your Mac, you're not alone: Code security cert snafu blamed

Juan Inamillion


Select generic PCL worked for my HP LaserJet 1015

Bad apples: US customs seize OnePlus earbuds thinking they're knock-off AirPods

Juan Inamillion

The phrase 'clutching at straws...'

"CBP officers at JFK Airport recently seized 2,000 counterfeit Apple AirPods"

Then it was pointed out that the goods weren't packaged as 'Apple Airpods' so can't be called counterfeit.

Whoops! Better find some other tenuous reason to save our sad arse.

“Upon examining the shipment in question, a CBP Import Specialist determined that the subject earbuds appeared to violate Apple’s configuration trademark,”

Job done!

Ancient telly borked broadband for entire Welsh village

Juan Inamillion

Re: One would expect

Do have a

Juan Inamillion

Re: Need a rubber hammer

'clout' Now there's a word you don't hear much of these days...

This is the correct procedure though, always worked in my day.

Angry 123-Reg customers in the UK wake up to another day where hosted mail doesn't get through to users on Microsoft email accounts

Juan Inamillion

Re: Recommendations please


Been with them for years. Excellent support and UK based.

Bunch of mugs keep risking life and limb to 'crockery bomb' sad little roundabout

Juan Inamillion

Re: Oh come on...

Won't somebody think of the children!!

'I'm telling you, I haven't got an iPad!' – Sent from my iPad

Juan Inamillion



NOW HEAR THIS: This e-mail is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humour or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this e-mail is not authorised (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal, or grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this e-mail, although the Kelpie next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If you have received this e-mail in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites and place it in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Whisk briefly and let it stand for 2 hours before icing.

Behold: The ghastly, preening, lesser-spotted Incredible Bullsh*tting Customer

Juan Inamillion

Re: Yes the users are bad

I used to be in Zen's Partner Program so I got a small commission if I sold clients their services (I was an independent Apple trader, retired now). Incredibly helpful, they'd even help out if the client equipment hadn't been purchased from them. In nearly 20 years I never had a complaint about them.

Florida man might just stick it to HP for injecting sneaky DRM update into his printers that rejected non-HP ink

Juan Inamillion

Re: HP printers

That's weird, I've been replacing my Mac clients' Epsons and HP's with Brothers for several years and everyone has been happy. Especially at being able to use 3rd party ink/toner.

Never had a problem with 'drivers', plug them in and it's all good.

That awful moment when what you thought was a number 1 turned out to be a number 2

Juan Inamillion

Trying to teach...

"I haven't got time!"

"Just make it work!"

Either or both....

Post Office burned £100m in UK taxpayer cash on Horizon IT scandal legal fees, MPs told

Juan Inamillion

Beyond reason

How did it come to this? It seems impossible that what should be simple accounting ends up with lives at stake, lives and families ruined. And all the associated people, relatives etc and what about friends and neighbours? \all the people in their local communities who trusted them and all that trust erroneously cast aside. All who came to mistrust these sub-postmasters and for what? A fucking computer error.

If I had a few million I'd put it into their fund to ream those bastards. Paula Venells for a start. Millions she 'earned' and then off to another highly paid job with no accountability for what havoc she's caused.

It's an utter utter disgrace and no doubt none of the fuckers responsible will ever be held to account.

Sorry it's been a long day...

Don't be fooled, experts warn, America's anti-child-abuse EARN IT Act could burn encryption to the ground

Juan Inamillion

Ian Bru


Thanks for the Irn Bru adverts video, absolutely made my day!

It's official! The Register is fake news… according to .uk overlord Nominet. Just a few problems with that claim, though

Juan Inamillion

Re: The problem with "fake news"...

It seems to me that if an article was referred to as 'lies' it would be taken a whole lot more seriously by it's author and m'learned friends in the public domain.

Using the phrase 'fake news' is almost childish, playground banter-ish and so much less likely to be taken seriously, but ultimately devaluing the discourse.

Brits may still be struck by Lightning, but EU lawmakers vote for bloc-wide common charging rules

Juan Inamillion

Re: Hopefully the UK will follow this


Have a beer for that word. Lovely.

Remember those infosec fellas who were cuffed while testing the physical security of a courthouse? The burglary charges have been dropped

Juan Inamillion

Left hand meet right...

See title.

Windows 7 back in black as holdouts report wallpaper-stripping shenanigans

Juan Inamillion

Spinal Tap...

World-record-breaking boffins reveal the fastest spinning thing on Earth – and it's not George Orwell in his grave

Juan Inamillion

Thanks, it was the mere mention of a Ford Transit Van on a m-way that evoked ancient memories of a life past lived...

Juan Inamillion

Actually, to be more specific, I'd say a Ford Transit Van on the M1 heading toward what was the Blue Boar services at Watford Gap at 2AM. Never been beaten I'd venture...

A user's magnetic charm makes for a special call-out for our hapless hero

Juan Inamillion

Not exactly IT..

Back in the '70's when I was a sound recording engineer for while I remember one client who was paranoid about the safety of his multitrack tapes and insisted they were wrapped in aluminium foil (sigh) and that he took them home every night. One day he came in, we lined up the tape and pressed play... and the tape sounded like the old Radio Luxembourg with the sound fading in and out. Obviously it couldn't be the studio's fault and he hadn't travelled home by London Underground (oh yes, that was supposed to be a problem too!). But when he'd got home the night before he'd parked the reel of tape next to his (CRT) TV....

Antarctic researchers send an SOS to the world: Who wrote this message in a bottle?

Juan Inamillion

I say, top banana!

You Reg chappies (and -esses) are the best, what a superb bit of community-spirited detective work.