* Posts by Juan Inamillion

520 posts • joined 24 Feb 2009


Hush now: Baby talk has common features across languages and societies

Juan Inamillion

Re: Ding Dong!

Clearly your mum hadn't used the alternative meaning that the ice cream van's bells meant that it had run out of ice cream...

BT strikes to start this month, 40,000 workers to down tools

Juan Inamillion

Re: Go for it

Very briefly, you're talking out of your fundament.

Train drivers are put through 2 years of intensive training before even allowed to drive (assisted) a train on the network. There's a massive amount to learn about signals, health and safety (they're entirely responsible for every passenger, which can be hundreds), they have to learn individual routes so they know where they are in times of problems.

It is most definitely not pushing 'doors close' and 'go'.

And the most recent strike was not even the train drivers, it was the network staff.

Now get back to your class.

Know the difference between a bin and /bin unless you want a new doorstop

Juan Inamillion

Trash storage

Client says his Mac is very slow and he's very fed up, can I fix it 'now'.

Get info on his HD shows it's very nearly run out of free space.

Check his Trash, ooerrr lots of files there, GB's in fact. So I empty it.


"But that's where I save all my stuff!!!!"

To this day I have no idea of the thought process that says 'Save important data in the Trash'.

I'm slightly heartened by the similar experiences in this thread.

Software guy smashes through the Somebody Else's Problem field to save the day

Juan Inamillion

Wiring for safety

A million years ago (well, the 60's...) a friend of mine was working in an 'electrical shop', where back in those days sold appliance which often didn't have mains plugs on the the power lead as there were still a lot of houses with old two pin sockets. When you made your purchase you told the shop assistant what plug you required, took it home and fitted it yourself.

One day an elderly gentleman comes in to buy an electrical kettle. My friend says fine, what plug do you need. The gentleman says three pin please. My friend tells the chap to very careful wiring it up and make sure it's earthed properly. He came back a few days later complaining the kettle didn't work. My friend opened the plug to check the fuse and discovered he's put all three wires onto the earth pin....

NASA fixes Hubble Space Telescope using backup power supply unit, payload computer

Juan Inamillion

And still BT/OpenReach...

...can't fix the fibre connection to a client's house in Belgravia, central London, after 6 weeks of promises.

Juan Inamillion

Re: Sounds vaguely familiar.. LOL

Maybe they thought you'd have it away on your toes...


The black screen of BIOS borkage haunts Space Shuttle Discovery's new home

Juan Inamillion

Re: Strike the F1

I take Strike to mean 'press and immediately release', 'Press' can mean 'press until something happens'.


Openreach to UK businesses: Switch is about to hit the fan. Prepare for withdrawal of the copper-based phone network now or risk disruption

Juan Inamillion

Re: 1987

In 1976 BT told me there was a 12 month waiting list for a phone. The only way to get one quicker was to install a payphone - yes that's right. Oh and this was in Bromley, Kent.

Australian Federal Police hiring digital evidence retrieval specialists: Being a very good boy and paws required

Juan Inamillion

Re: Ice cream distraction

Just so you know, chocolate can be fatal for a dog, along with avocados, xylitol (sweetener in candy, gum, toothpaste and some baked goods), caffeine, grapes, raisins and alcohol.

A floppy filled with software worth thousands of francs: Techie can't take it, customs won't keep it. What to do?

Juan Inamillion

Not entirely unrelated...

In an earlier life I was a recording engineer in a London studio. Large multitrack (2" 16 or 24 track) analogue tapes were starting to be moved around different studios and eventually overseas, particularly the US. (Much much cheaper to send someone with a tape to New York and record a band there than to ship the band to the UK!).

However, US customs suddenly cottoned on to the fact that these tapes contained 'product', albeit unfinished music tracks, albums etc. So they started to charge import duties based on some figure that they thought these were worth. The courier would then have to make frantic phone calls to make payment. Anyway someone worked out that the courier should say that the tape was only a backup tape (there's your IT angle) with only an intrinsic value of the cost of the tape. Amazingly this worked....

Yep, you're totally unique: That one very special user and their very special problem

Juan Inamillion

Re: When turn off/turn on fails

But you have to remove the teeth...


Watchdog urges Tesla to recall 158,000 Model S, X cars to fix knackered NAND flash that borks safety features

Juan Inamillion

Re: Great

I haven't owned a car for a long time but I rent a lot (e.g. car club or Hertz for longer period - it's cheaper for me than owning), therefore I get to try a lot of different cars. By far the biggest pain in the butts are the ones with everything in the sodding 'infotainment' system. As far as I'm concerned it's no different to using a phone while driving. Even if I familiarise myself before setting off ( Yet Another System...) I still don't consider safe to use while driving. Even having controls on the steering wheel doesn't work as you still need to work out which button does what and how many levels you have to go through to get to what you want.

The Novell NetWare box keeps rebooting over and over again yet no one has touched it? We're going on a stakeout

Juan Inamillion

Re: Fluorescents...

Early 80's I bought a Philips colour tv, I think 19" maybe 21". After a year it started to play up. Had it fixed, a few months later more problems; fixed, a few months later... anyway, you get it. I eventually got a chatty engineer who told me Philips tv's always suffered from dry joints and the fix was to just reflow them every so often.

Much later I had a Philips VCR and Hifi (I was working for someone who was sponsored by Philips CD...). The hifi fell apart, literally, after a few weeks. The VCR lasted a while though. Shit software.

Absolutely avoided Philips ever since.

Who knew that hosing a table with copious amounts of cubic metres would trip adult filters?

Juan Inamillion

Re: Inside joke?

Yep many years ago (before I was in IT actually) I /cough/ came across Wang Care. It was related to some computer equipment on an early very high end synthesiser (Synclavier, since you ask). The staff at the distributors apprised me of it straight way, to much nudge nudging.

Millions wiped off value of Capita outsourcing deal with English councils amid 'further contract variation agreement'

Juan Inamillion

Re: Interesting choice of words

I did the same thing so... surely shome mishtake.

Did I or did I not ask you to double-check that the socket was on? Now I've driven 15 miles, what have we found?

Juan Inamillion

Token ring

Client with half a dozen Apple Macs with the AAUI interfaces and connected via BNC in a token ring. On two previous occasions a connector had 'come undone' and on each visit to fix it was carefully pointed out what had happened when they 'lost their network'. The third time I insisted they checked every connection and they insisted that it was all ok . I walked in and before I'd even removed my coat I pointed to the connector on the desk... 'No No NO' they insisted they'd checked... I connected it and walked out in less than 5 minutes and charged the full call out fee.

If you suddenly can't print to your HP Printer from your Mac, you're not alone: Code security cert snafu blamed

Juan Inamillion


Select generic PCL worked for my HP LaserJet 1015

Bad apples: US customs seize OnePlus earbuds thinking they're knock-off AirPods

Juan Inamillion

The phrase 'clutching at straws...'

"CBP officers at JFK Airport recently seized 2,000 counterfeit Apple AirPods"

Then it was pointed out that the goods weren't packaged as 'Apple Airpods' so can't be called counterfeit.

Whoops! Better find some other tenuous reason to save our sad arse.

“Upon examining the shipment in question, a CBP Import Specialist determined that the subject earbuds appeared to violate Apple’s configuration trademark,”

Job done!

Ancient telly borked broadband for entire Welsh village

Juan Inamillion

Re: One would expect

Do have a

Juan Inamillion

Re: Need a rubber hammer

'clout' Now there's a word you don't hear much of these days...

This is the correct procedure though, always worked in my day.

Angry 123-Reg customers in the UK wake up to another day where hosted mail doesn't get through to users on Microsoft email accounts

Juan Inamillion

Re: Recommendations please


Been with them for years. Excellent support and UK based.

Bunch of mugs keep risking life and limb to 'crockery bomb' sad little roundabout

Juan Inamillion

Re: Oh come on...

Won't somebody think of the children!!

'I'm telling you, I haven't got an iPad!' – Sent from my iPad

Juan Inamillion



NOW HEAR THIS: This e-mail is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humour or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this e-mail is not authorised (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal, or grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this e-mail, although the Kelpie next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If you have received this e-mail in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites and place it in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Whisk briefly and let it stand for 2 hours before icing.

Behold: The ghastly, preening, lesser-spotted Incredible Bullsh*tting Customer

Juan Inamillion

Re: Yes the users are bad

I used to be in Zen's Partner Program so I got a small commission if I sold clients their services (I was an independent Apple trader, retired now). Incredibly helpful, they'd even help out if the client equipment hadn't been purchased from them. In nearly 20 years I never had a complaint about them.

Florida man might just stick it to HP for injecting sneaky DRM update into his printers that rejected non-HP ink

Juan Inamillion

Re: HP printers

That's weird, I've been replacing my Mac clients' Epsons and HP's with Brothers for several years and everyone has been happy. Especially at being able to use 3rd party ink/toner.

Never had a problem with 'drivers', plug them in and it's all good.

That awful moment when what you thought was a number 1 turned out to be a number 2

Juan Inamillion

Trying to teach...

"I haven't got time!"

"Just make it work!"

Either or both....

Post Office burned £100m in UK taxpayer cash on Horizon IT scandal legal fees, MPs told

Juan Inamillion

Beyond reason

How did it come to this? It seems impossible that what should be simple accounting ends up with lives at stake, lives and families ruined. And all the associated people, relatives etc and what about friends and neighbours? \all the people in their local communities who trusted them and all that trust erroneously cast aside. All who came to mistrust these sub-postmasters and for what? A fucking computer error.

If I had a few million I'd put it into their fund to ream those bastards. Paula Venells for a start. Millions she 'earned' and then off to another highly paid job with no accountability for what havoc she's caused.

It's an utter utter disgrace and no doubt none of the fuckers responsible will ever be held to account.

Sorry it's been a long day...

Don't be fooled, experts warn, America's anti-child-abuse EARN IT Act could burn encryption to the ground

Juan Inamillion

Ian Bru


Thanks for the Irn Bru adverts video, absolutely made my day!

It's official! The Register is fake news… according to .uk overlord Nominet. Just a few problems with that claim, though

Juan Inamillion

Re: The problem with "fake news"...

It seems to me that if an article was referred to as 'lies' it would be taken a whole lot more seriously by it's author and m'learned friends in the public domain.

Using the phrase 'fake news' is almost childish, playground banter-ish and so much less likely to be taken seriously, but ultimately devaluing the discourse.

Brits may still be struck by Lightning, but EU lawmakers vote for bloc-wide common charging rules

Juan Inamillion

Re: Hopefully the UK will follow this


Have a beer for that word. Lovely.

Remember those infosec fellas who were cuffed while testing the physical security of a courthouse? The burglary charges have been dropped

Juan Inamillion

Left hand meet right...

See title.

Windows 7 back in black as holdouts report wallpaper-stripping shenanigans

Juan Inamillion

Spinal Tap...

World-record-breaking boffins reveal the fastest spinning thing on Earth – and it's not George Orwell in his grave

Juan Inamillion

Thanks, it was the mere mention of a Ford Transit Van on a m-way that evoked ancient memories of a life past lived...

Juan Inamillion

Actually, to be more specific, I'd say a Ford Transit Van on the M1 heading toward what was the Blue Boar services at Watford Gap at 2AM. Never been beaten I'd venture...

A user's magnetic charm makes for a special call-out for our hapless hero

Juan Inamillion

Not exactly IT..

Back in the '70's when I was a sound recording engineer for while I remember one client who was paranoid about the safety of his multitrack tapes and insisted they were wrapped in aluminium foil (sigh) and that he took them home every night. One day he came in, we lined up the tape and pressed play... and the tape sounded like the old Radio Luxembourg with the sound fading in and out. Obviously it couldn't be the studio's fault and he hadn't travelled home by London Underground (oh yes, that was supposed to be a problem too!). But when he'd got home the night before he'd parked the reel of tape next to his (CRT) TV....

Antarctic researchers send an SOS to the world: Who wrote this message in a bottle?

Juan Inamillion

I say, top banana!

You Reg chappies (and -esses) are the best, what a superb bit of community-spirited detective work.

What is this, 1989? Laplink is still a thing and wants to help with Windows 7 migrations

Juan Inamillion

Re: external USB hard drives

"your photos will still be viewed decades from now." You're going to be sorely disappointed in 'decades from now' if you believe that. I researched the ability to used optical media for archiving data a few years ago and found that even the very best genuine (there's a lot of fake stuff out there) 'Archive Quality' media would certainly not be good for 'decades'.

If it's that vital I'd say you need to store on at least twice on two different types of media. You also need to keep at least two systems capable of reading and outputting the data. It all depends on the importance attached to the data and your intrinsic paranoia.

Not a death spiral, I'm trapped in a closed loop of customer experience

Juan Inamillion

Re: If you have a new house

So if the 'sharer' can't/doesn't have any bills in their name/address, how do they verify ID?

You've just created the closed loop that everyone here has complained of!

Devon knows how they make it so steamy: Phantom squatter of Torquay curls one out on bloke's motor

Juan Inamillion

Now then now then..

The police should have taken a sample of the chod for DNA analysis. There's the IT angle, Shirley?

If servers go down but no one hears them, did they really fail? Think about it over lunch

Juan Inamillion

Re: re One should always check the current standards for voltage before plugging in

Just a shout out for a British company making (IMHO) the best charger/adaptors that I've come across. The company is nothing to do with me personally although I did meet the owner once and he gave me a couple of samples (we were getting drunk on a train!). Amazing stuff, very compact and they FOLD FLAT, no dodgy pins to wreck screens!

Anyway, you can see there stuff here:


BT to up targets for FTTP rollout 'if the right conditions are met'

Juan Inamillion


I'm curious about the downvotes posted to the comments here. It seems anything criticising BT gets a few downvotes... Even though it's generally agreed that BT are the source of much of the problem with broadband roll out in the UK.

Cops use bread and riot shields in desperate bid to contain crazed swan running amok in streets

Juan Inamillion


The title is one of the finest phrases ever to come out of Scotland (along with many others). Thanks for that.

And now for another situation in which the Scottish diction causes trouble.


Biker sues Google Fiber: I broke my leg, borked my ankle in trench dug to lay ad giant's pipe

Juan Inamillion

Hairdressers from Croydon

Harley Davidsons or Hardly Abletoos are the preferred mode of transport for the title, at least according to a friend of mine. Just about OK for going in a straight line, which is most big roads in the US. Try one on typical roads in the UK and you'll think different ;-)

Darwin's principle tends to take care of anyone not riding defensively or paying close attention to road surfaces. One can still get caught out though. The UK's Ministry of Potholes tries very hard to conceal their efforts, often by filling them with water and placing them on the line you'd take on a long bend. Long narrow scars in the road are particularly interesting as the front wheel tries to follow them.

I've been riding for about 50 years, had a couple of accidents, luckily nothing more serious than gravel rash. Moped and food delivery riders are a particular source of worry these days, astonishing to see them ride like they're invincible...

I say, that sucks! Crooks are harnessing hoovers to clean out parking meters in Chelsea

Juan Inamillion

Re: Where did they get the power?

Errm.... Battery power tools?

Crowdfunded lawyer suing Uber told he can't swerve taxi app giant's £1m legal bill

Juan Inamillion

Missing the point

A good few commentaries seem to be missing the point. You can consider it a test case. It's not about claiming the £1 in VAT it's about the principle. Yes, I realise that 'lawyer' and 'principle' in the same sentence might be considered an oxymoron but he's trying to force the issue with regards to Uber's position as an 'employer' and it's liability for taxes, especially VAT.

I don't think ego comes into it, certainly not any reward.

The Great British Curry: Put down the takeaway, you're cooking tonight

Juan Inamillion

Cooking Basmati

To get really nice rice it is pretty essential to wash and drain a few times as described (use a sieve not a colander, btw...) but I've often missed the 'leave in cold water for 30 minutes...

For quantities I'm forced to use that American measure 'a cup', however, for us Brits I'll qualify that and say 'an ordinary tea cup', like the posh ones your mum had. Anyway, 'a cup' of rice per person is usually sufficient and put in the saucepan. Now add the equivalent in cups of water, so 2 cups of rice plus 2 cups of water in the saucepan. Bring to the boil with a little salt then - this is important - put a lid on and turn the heat down to lowest to simmer for 15 minutes. DO NOT LIFT THE LID OR STIR while cooking. After 15 mins it should be ready, check by tasting.

Amazon's creepy facial recog doorbell, Facebook open sources machine learning code and much more

Juan Inamillion

Re: More solutions looking for problems

Possibly so that manufacturers of elevator and phone 'please hold' music don't have to pay copyright? Just one...

Naked women cleaning biz smashes patriarchy by introducing naked bloke gardening service

Juan Inamillion

What makes me laugh is that so many commentards here think that it's a pucker service to do the garden or kitchen or whatever.

The idea is for the hirer to sit back and watch. Any 'work' achieved is a bonus.

Tech support discovers users who buy the 'sh*ttest PCs known to Man' struggle with basics

Juan Inamillion


It's quite interesting to see some comments here about 'older' people. My client list is very eclectic and I can tell you there are as many 'young' people as there are 'older' people who struggle with operating computers. Never assume - it makes an ass out of u and me.

France: Let's make the internet safer. America, Russia, China: Let's go with 'no' on that

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