* Posts by Liam Thom

82 posts • joined 2 Feb 2009

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Tablet vendors 'quake in fear' over iPad 2

Liam Thom
Stop

I am moist...

... with expectation.

Royal Wedding: Prince Charles is a ZX81, Wills is an iPad

Liam Thom
Coat

To keep the metaphor rolling...

...There would have to be intense speculation that it came from a different manufacturer despite official denials that it really was made by Apple.

Blackhat SEO 'cheats' Reddit

Liam Thom
Megaphone

Blackhat SEO

Isn't that tautological? They are all low-life parasites.

Cambridge chap's todger topiary gets the chop

Liam Thom
Big Brother

£80 fine

Plod only keeps handing out these £80 fines because people think they have to pay them. The CPS wouldn't have touched it with somebody else's barge pole if the todger topiarist had kept his bush and told Hot Fuzz where to insert his public order offence.

HABITABLE ALIEN WORLD discovered 20 light-years away!

Liam Thom
Heart

Nicole

I bet Nicole is an 18 stone truck driver.

Punters still puzzled by broadband ads

Liam Thom
Boffin

Not confused either

It's all very well saying that ISPs are the work of Beelzebub for using the "up to" description of their speeds but I have not heard a better one.

When you sign up you get an opportunity to view what speed you are likely to get in the real world. Don't see the problem.

"Unlimited" and "fair use policies" are different stories altogether.

Energy-saving LEDs 'will not save energy', say boffins

Liam Thom
Unhappy

3w LEDs

Yes, I've got two of those in the kitchen. They actually make the room darker when you turn them on.

Judge trounces Register.com in Baidu.com hijacking case

Liam Thom
Go

Register.com are brutes

<rant>I hope the shower of shit gets taken to the cleaners. They are nightmare to try and get a domain name away from. You ring them up and they tell you to use the web site, you use the web site and nothing happens. And then they send invitations to renew the domain for a millennium for 2% discount.

Die, Register.com, Die.</rant>

Researchers: Arctic cooled to pre-industrial levels from 1950-1990

Liam Thom
Boffin

Warming Shwarming

The effects of global warming whether beneficial or harmful, man-made or otherwise are insignificant compared to the problem of rising population. You don't need to analyse tree trunks to realise that we are using far too much of the earth's resources and genuinely threatening our own standard of living to a dangerous extent.

The Pope could make a start by not decreeing the wearing of rubber birth control products to be a sin.

Emmerdale shoves jam rags in innocent kiddies' faces

Liam Thom
Happy

That is the best story...

... I have read here since you discovered people urinating in the streets on Google Streetview.

Bravo.

Mozilla turns out Firefox 4 beta candidate builds

Liam Thom
WTF?

Uncluttered

Which numpty decided to make it have no title bar by default? You seem to be only able to have a title bar if you have a menu bar.

Mozilla's next Thunderbird gives Gmailers hope

Liam Thom
Boffin

Nearly

It's getting there but the "spinning cursor" you mentioned is still there. And there's this feller:

Alert: Unable to delete messages in folder Inbox because it is in use by another operation. Please wait for that operation to finish and try again.

Overall though it's a good program and the search facility is now better than version 2, which was definitely not the case with 3.0.

Guessing the settings of new accounts is still awful for non ISP emails though. If they are going to keep that feature they need an option before it of "Please sod off and let me put the correct settings in. I confirm that I am not a moron."

World Cup streaming to choke corporate networks, doomsayers predict

Liam Thom
Alert

Prophet of doom etc etc

He's right. I successfully brought down a huge company's network - or reduced it to a dribble anyway - just by hosting a 256kbps video that they all wanted to watch and had paid me to host on the big internet. (I know, that's what intranets are for).

10 people sneaking a peak at the association football tournament is going to clog up most office's networks.

The Internet itself probably won't notice though.

Mail my printer - I'm busy!

Liam Thom
FAIL

This is the worst idea in the history of technology.

Only an epic muppet would consider buying this rubbish. Mind you, only an epic muppet would consider selling this rubbish.

Fax was pretty rubbish in the eighties, we don't need its putrefying corpse dug up and resuscitated.

Freeview HD sacrifices surround sound for World Cup scramble

Liam Thom
Boffin

Jonny Come Latelies you mean.

I think anybody expecting Freeview HD to be good is going to get burnt. There just isn't going to be the bandwidth to compete with Freesat, Sky, cable or possibly even the interwebs. Freeview is always going to be the poor relation.

HTC Touch Pro 2

Liam Thom
Stop

You know nuffink

HTC hide the Windows so far away with their own software that you rarely notice what OS it is. The Touch Pro 2 is the best phone for anybody that wants to use email or the internet on their phone. The keyboard is easy to use and the clear touch screen is vast. All the other phones with their three and four row keyboards are just playing at it compared to this.

Better camera would be nice though.

Blighty surrenders to Street View

Liam Thom
Badgers

Controversy

I am going to be really controversial and say what a bloody good effort this mappery is. To crunch all these pictures down and stitch them together is really impressive. I bet you could fry an egg on the data centre roof though.

Full marks to Google.

But come on guys. Where's the links to the people coming out of dildo shops in raincoats or relieving themselves in shop doorways? Try harder.

iPad to feast on Flash...

Liam Thom
WTF?

Economies of scale

1. Why would anybody by an iPad? No really. Why? LCD picture frames are much cheaper in Curry's.

2. If iPads do suck in demand for SSD the price rise will only be in the short term; economies of scale will soon push prices back down again.

Fat Reg slims down for spanking new mobile phone version

Liam Thom
Pint

Don't you sniff my browser, you perv.

Top banana.

But don't bother checking for mobiles on the server - give us the choice. Getting information out of the Beeb has become jolly difficult since they ram their coloured WAPness down the throat of my throbbing 800x480 mobile.

Ten of the best... iPhone beaters

Liam Thom
Pint

Hello?

Where's the HTC Touch Pro II? Beats the lot unless your main criterion is camera pixels, in which case you want a Nikon not an iPhone.

World's first electric jet ski surfaces

Liam Thom

A toy for slightly less anoying tossers

Reducing the noise of the truly most annoying of water craft would be a great help. But all the fun of riding a jet ski seems to be annoying sun bathers, wind surfers and sailers. Without the annoying drone to piss people off, nobody is going to buy one.

The world doesn't need more jet skis. Just a nice machine gun placement at the top of the cliffs.

Are these electric ones able to go further out than 120 yards from the beach, because the noisy, smelly ones certainly can't.

Microsoft squirts out Vista SP2

Liam Thom
Boffin

I don't understand...

You mean there are still people on Vista? The upgrade is free you fools.

Windows 7 and the Linux lesson

Liam Thom
Thumb Up

Want it NOW!

Entirely agree. The Windows 7 Beta is the best operating system yet in terms of speed, system resource use, looks and usability. It is more free of bugs than its rubbish predecessor and works as efficiently as XP on any decent spec machine.

Let us have the operating system now so we can kick Vista into the same draw as the Millennium Edition.

Amazon UK kicks off low-end price scuffle with iTunes

Liam Thom
Jobs Horns

Can you buy any Haricut 100 tracks for 29p?

Nothing wrong with Amazon downloads. 320 kbps with no DRM. Really easy to use and it puts the albums into Windows Media Player nice and snugly with an album cover. It has no motive of 'puter domination like iTunes.

Still prefer something more tangible though.

Microsoft promises 'lessons learned' on IE 8 download day

Liam Thom
Coat

Panic ye not

The internet looks like it did yesterday. Am I doing something wrong?

Opera chief: Microsoft's IE 8 ‘undermines’ web standards

Liam Thom
Gates Halo

Well actually...

Not only is he completely wrong, so are Microsoft for giving in to the W3C self abuse society and trying to make their new browser "compliant" rather than "able to read the internet".

Just make the browser read web pages like IE 5.5, 6 and 7 do and don't worry about whether it reads it according to some rules that somebody made up.

And certainly don't listen to cry baby browser manufacturers that can't get 1% of the market due to their crapness.

Written on Firefox.

Google jacks up fees for Checkout service

Liam Thom
Thumb Down

That's only the half of it

Google have not only been penny pinching brutes, they have been devilishly cunning with it.

Your payment scale is based on the previous month, so you pay less if you had a good month previously. Therefore, unless your turnover is constant throughout the year you are always paying different rates.

Say month 1 is a good month and you turnover enough to get the good rates the following month, next month you sell very little; you don't pay Google much per transaction but there are not many transactions. In month 3 you do really well but you have to pay the rate relating to month 2: which is high per transaction - and there are lots of transactions. In a fluctuating market you are generally paying out more than if there was a fixed rate.

You have to think about it, and I am sure Google have, but the fees will work out substantially higher over the course of a year. The only way to beat the system is to start with a high turnover and work your way down. But that could involve bankruptcy.

Vista SP2 release candidate gets public airing

Liam Thom

And?

Just installed it. What does it do please?

Humax Foxsat-HDR Freesat HD digital video recorder

Liam Thom
Thumb Up

SD mediocrity

The comments about standard definition are slightly unfair. SD is rubbish on a big telly, but it is even worse if you don't have access to the set top box through HDMI. You will get better SD through this box than you would with a standard definition Sky + box using scart or S-VHS. Also satellite based digital SD signals are much better than Freeview.

PS. You could have got one at Argos before Christmas.

Apple squeezes JavaScript juice from Safari 4 beta release

Liam Thom
Thumb Down

Stick to making white boxes.

It claims to look more like Vista than the old model, but Safari or IE do not turn off Aero and the transparency that goes with it.

It opens "_blank" links in new windows rather than new tabs by default. It appears you have to hold down CTRL to make a link open in a new tab. What's the point of tabs if you aren't going to use them properly.

It has completely cocked up the minimise and restore buttons. Really cocked them up.

It is currently browsing round the internet for me searching for "Top Sites", all of which appear to be aimed at colonials.

I just crashed it by trying to load a Java program.

It is taking 224MB of memory to display a single static page whereas Firefox 3 is taking 84MB.

It's as crap as the last Safari. IE, Chrome and Firefox are all way better. 0/10.

Microsoft just wants to be touched

Liam Thom
Jobs Horns

You've missed the point

On it's own Windows Mobile, erm Phone is nothing compared to the shiny iPhone. But there are only the two flavours of iPhone - with or without 300kbps broadband.

Because Windows allow people like HTC and Palm to make all sorts of cunning devices for their operating system they are streets ahead of the Jesus Phone in terms of connectivity, ease of use and adaptability.

No copy and paste, no Slingbox, no 3.5G, no solid slide out keyboard, no choice of browser. No thanks.

Mac flirts with 10 per cent web share

Liam Thom
Coat

Cobblers

I have no gripe either way with whichever operating system is cool at the moment. Ubuntu, XP and OS X are all great. Vista is shit of course.

However... I don't think the stats are right at all.

According to Google Analytics for some of my sites, the techy ones show good percentages for Macs and Linux - in the region of 9% and 3% respectively, but any non-nerdy sites, such as an accommodation directory of mine show in the region of 4% for Macs and 1.5% for Linux. A cricket site I made shows 97.71% Windows use.

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