* Posts by Jaques Croissant

45 publicly visible posts • joined 22 Jan 2009

Mozilla to Apple: we don't care about iOS

Jaques Croissant

"The Android approach is to present the user a choice every time a relevant link or file is tapped... ie, click a link, and asked which browser to use. Is there any way to set a 'default action' in Android?"

They're called "intents", and the requester that pops up offers you a list of handlers and buttons for "Always" and "Just Once". The "Always" thus is stored as a default action for that type of intent (and can be reset in system settings).


Debenhams cafes ban outré terms like 'espresso' and 'cappuccino'

Jaques Croissant

Re: Nothing new here

"Ummm...yes, it's a fairly exact description. You don't get to choose the "brand" of coffee. Very few places offer a choice of bean or blend in the way that you can choose the brand or brew of beer."

..or it's prepared, which makes most of the difference.

Yeah, either you're talking crap, or the hallucinations are getting stronger. Looking at the posting history, I am going for the former.

Hmm, I think I'll order an iPad Mini on Amazon ... Oh no I won't

Jaques Croissant

Re: Both products are a big fail.

"It's the return of Joerg! The rabid, foaming at the mouth, teeth-gnashing, jihadist, android-chewing kindle-spitting-out and surface-tramping-into-the-dirt fanboi extraordinaire."

Yeah, he's more interesting than the other mentally impaired one-note wonders like Obviously!, RICHTO or JaitcH(sic)- his thought processes are often so mangled that it's often unclear what he's actually cross about. It's a fun game to see what the object of ire really is, under all the spittle.

No GPS in the iPad Mini Wi-Fi: People are right to criticise

Jaques Croissant

"On all iDevices that have GPS, the GPS provided is A-GPS - Assisted GPS, using cell towers to achieve a fast lock. How do Android devices that have GPS, but not cellular, provide GPS? IE, do they include a proper A-GPS system, or is it just standard, slow to resolve, GPS?"

Actually, Tom, in no data coverage situations, a proper standard multichannel GPS receiver locks a signal a fuck of a lot faster after downloading the almanac from the sats than an aGPS unit would. I have sat around on my artse for a quarter of an hour in the middle of Helsinki waiting for my HTC Desire to lock, but my N7 gets a solid (and far more accurate) lock on the street in about 30 seconds flat.

aGPS is there to allow cheap and shitty chipsets to be used, despite being in areas with multipath issues. They aren't better, they are a fudge to allow more crappy hardware to work nicely. It's a clever hack, but I would rather have good quality "real" GPS every damn time, given a choice.

Jaques Croissant

Question? Can you tether a GPS receiver using bluetooth?

Yes, you can, if it has Bluetooth. If it's an NMEA device, you need a little bit of free software to make it talk to most Android devices. No luck on iOS, unless you want to jailbreak it, though. There are iOS-specific receivers (the "Dual" branded one is nice) that work, though they are about five times the price for about the same functionality.

Additionally, at least on Android phones, you can run a little bit of software that serves the phone's own grappy aGPS data up as an NMEA GPS or similar over Bluetooth, so you could tether your phone's GPS to your tablet over Bluetooth (just to confuse matters).

OK, so I am oddly fascinated by this stuff, own a few GPS units, and a few iOS and Android devices, probably means I am a bit of a nerd, shame on me. Hope that helps, anyroad.

Apple banishes Java from Mac browsers

Jaques Croissant

Re: Translated: "This update breaks your Mac...

"Yea, only the 5 million+ in Denmark who need it to sign into their online banking systems..."

They can pay me in good quality Danish licorice, and I will explain patiently where to get the Oracle install from :)

Samsung Galaxy Note 2 review

Jaques Croissant

Re: Stylus = fail

"Looks like an Obviously! post posted as an AC"

I'm not convinced, it's not UNHINGED enough with ENOUGH CRAZY capitalisation and PUNCTUATION!!!!!?!

(..and the spelling is too good, and it's not sweary enough, or homophobic enough, etc. etc.)

Microsoft's Bing bods exploit fanbois' Apple maps misery

Jaques Croissant

Re: Bing allowed on Apple Appstore?

Your ability to read tenses seems to be.. somewhat flawed. Still, your ability to mewl pettishly while failing is second only to Orlowski's :)

NZ bloke gets eel stuck up jacksie

Jaques Croissant

Clearly the work of..

..a displeased Warren Ellis. That is all.

The iPHONE 5 UNDERMINES western DEMOCRACY: 5 reasons why

Jaques Croissant

Re: I'm sorry but this is nonsense...

Then your friends are a bit thick. It took me precisely two minutes of googling, after getting my first Android phone to work out how to sync my music from iTunes to it, by using iSyncr. All my Android and iOS devices sync painlessly against the same iTunes install, though I do customise the lists for each, depending on how much storage space each has free for tunes.

In short, it's easy to take above room-temperature IQ for granted, but I will be sticking with what works thanks.

SanDisk flogs strap-on to speed up your lazy Windows 7 PC

Jaques Croissant

Re: So...

Yes, readyboost only affects booting, this usually speeds up all i/o for one drive. I have the Crucial equivalent:


(review at http://hexus.net/tech/reviews/storage/38473-crucial-adrenaline-ssd-cache-50gb/)

..and it goes like snot off a hot buttered shovel. The software that comes with it has the limitation that it will only work with the boot drive, but I have shuffled stuff around now, and moved my Steam folder there. It also came with mounting bracket, cables etc. (useful if you forget where your "useful bits" box has got to). It was super-eay to fit, and well worth the fifty or so quid I paid for it.

If you want more space than you can afford with an SSD, or want a cheap/easy speedup, this is a really good approach.

Chick-lit star snubs Menshn.com password flaw alert

Jaques Croissant

Re: "Not true at all. Menshn is 100% secure."

No, you're getting old when you can't remember how many, you're probably still OK... :)

Sony NSZ-GS7 Google TV internet player review

Jaques Croissant

Re: Bit pricey

Well, if you're looking for a 100 quid XBMC box, as I mentioned elsewhere in this comments thread, a second gen Apple TV works like a charm. It's really easy to jailbreak, the XBMC install is a simple apt-get install sort of affair, and the iPlayer plugin works well, even with iPlayerHD.

Worth considering, as it's small, silent, cheap, comes with a decent remote, and uses 6W tops.

Google Nexus 7 Android tablet

Jaques Croissant

Re: Baffled...

Dunno, whatever the stock battery in the first gen HTC Desire was (I just upgraded to a Galaxy S3). It was running Juicedefender, too. Battery power was generally never a problem.

The real killer is how strong or weak the 3G signal is, polling for the cell is what kills the battery. The wifi doesn't make as much difference as folks generally imagine. (Oh, also, if you're devious, and you're tethering some laptops, you can always ponce some power from them over USB, too, don't forget!)

Google plants rainbow flag in anti-gay countries

Jaques Croissant

Re: Religious bigotry

"There are two problems with Google's "Legislate love" position. First, the corporation is firmly asserting, by implication, that the majority of Muslims, Chritians, and Jews in the world are wrong on a theological matter."

They are, grow up, this is 2012.

Google makes Opera bloggers an offer they can't refuse: Use Chrome

Jaques Croissant

Epic trolling

Hell hath no fury like an Opera bore scorned, failing to keep a straight face here..

Brits get to fondle Google Nexus 7 slab in just a fortnight

Jaques Croissant

Re: Next question

"Faff faff faff. Turn on roaming you tight wad."

I will bear your searing insight in mind the next time the AGPS can't get a lock, can't get the almanac and I have no coverage because I am outside of a major city. Moron :)

Jaques Croissant

Re: Flash

Hmm, are you totally sure that it's not just the last one that *comes with* flash?

Not, I have to say, that it's a huge loss. I keep it turned off on my Android devices, good riddance to bad rubbish and so on.

Jaques Croissant

Re: Interesting little device

Whether it is "support" (sic) or not, you can download it from Google Play.

Ten... freeware gems for new PCs

Jaques Croissant

Re: Freeware?

Hmm, I was shocked at how crappy Defraggler was, as a happy CCleaner user. "MyDefrag" is also free, and far more effective.

Stephen Fry's truly terrible mistake

Jaques Croissant

"the tech standards he helps implement"?

He doesn't. Tweeting about something isn't how one sets a standard. If it were, a lot of VERY FUCKUING BORING meetings in Geneva could be avoided.

It takes actual engineers to exchange actual information until they want to murder themselves and each other, after some painful prototyping work to set standards. Going to a few press launches and blathering like a big fat 2.0tard isn't quite the same thing.

Mobile Broadband

Jaques Croissant

major fail

That speed tester is bollocks, it tells me that I have 50+ megabits at home, when my router is locked at about 17- and at work, where I have an uncontended gigabit, it reads lower. I've never ever had a result from it that reflects the actual throughput of my link.

Thus, this article is a waste of perfectly good electrons, which could have been used to show a picture of pie.

Siemens union threatens BBC strike

Jaques Croissant


Seimens are so piss-poor that if they went on strike, no-one would notice. Tech/support inoits that have been retained in the beeb proper often end up having to clear up the mess they made, then get the original work done anyway.


Anonymous because, well, work it out yourself :)

Sony Bloggie

Jaques Croissant

err, no.

That logic is bullchips.

THey have made plenty of flimsy, shoddy crap in Japan, too. Hell, the lamentable MDR-V700DJ headphones (those silver ones for the partially deaf to dress like a DJ), which sound like aural rape and often snap at the swivel, were made in Japan for years- and don't seem to have become any better or worse for being made elsewhere.

BT boss urges fines for filesharing customers

Jaques Croissant

So, operation "please don't hate us" has begun at BT?

After the Phorm fiasco, they will need a lot of photo ops with disabled kittens and the like the repair the damage..

Panasonic DMC-G2

Jaques Croissant


That's a very slick bit of interface design.

However, firm presses don't sound great for stability, especially when hand holding- I like to take a lot of pictures in rubbish light and hate tripods, so that would worry me.

The other thing that would worry me is if you're expected to chimp off the back screen while using it- one of the things that most represents a tradeup for me with a DSLR over my compacts is being able to use the viewfinder, and top LCD, and have nicely laid-out physical controls. That's actually half the value of the format for me- being able to do 99% of the things that I need without having to turn the rear LCD on, which messes with battery life terribly, and is extra-nasty on sunny days.

Still, it is a lovely bit of interface design!

Google 'personalizes' one in five searches

Jaques Croissant

re: "Okay then"

Don't do that, just allow all cookies, and have the browser delete them all on startup/shutdown. Less time wasted micromanaging junk, and it allows various privacy violators to randomly assign you IDs as much as they like, with no useful persistent info- plus everything works.

Also, FFox users might like the "better privacy" addon, which can nuke flash cookies on startup/shutdown (useful even if you're running noscript+adblock, as you should).

All of that is just a few clicks to set up, doesn't interfere with your browser, and does wonders for privacy.

Leaky antivirus defences letting malware through

Jaques Croissant


What the eff is "Hitman Pro"? Sounds like a name that'd suit one of those scareware fake PC cleaners, that actually drops malware on your machine...

Sony to revamp movie classics for 3D era

Jaques Croissant


Just another reason to wish f'king Sony could DIAF. If nothing else, maybe we could generate sustainable energy from poor Orson Welles spinning in the ground.

Medion E54009 touch monitor

Jaques Croissant


Ugh, no thanks.

HP talks up slate launch

Jaques Croissant

wow, they're shooting to get it cheaper than a macbook?


Not whelmed, I'd only be tempted if it were around netbook price, otherwise I'll stick with what I have... It's a very.. well, very HP sort of machine.. competant but deadly dull. If it's also expensive, and less powerful than an equivalently-powered laptop..

Most folks have a fairly toy-centric use case for a tablet, so it might well need to cost less, or have a bigger "wow" factor to really sell.

iSlate leaves fingerprints all over the net

Jaques Croissant
Thumb Down

Err, one sec

This "Flurry" thing sounds like spyware by any other name..

Nokia apes Google, gives gratis satnav route guidance

Jaques Croissant

Too little, too late

This would be really exciting if their flagship device wasn't unusably buggy and horrid... :(

Israelis develop Nazi-doodlebug sonic deathwave cannon

Jaques Croissant


The fun thing is that "less than lethal" weapons can be deliberately misued- like the baton rounds that are supposed to be bounced off the ground. The Israeli (and the British, in NI) have been known to fire them directly at the face or groin, where they are somewhat more dangerous.

You can see the potential for misuse on a grand scale, for chasing down, penning up and then torturing protesters en masse.

Steve Wozniak, your time is up

Jaques Croissant

Rik who, again?

Why all the insecure toys-out-of-pram action, and panic over girth? Feeling a little inadequate and porky today, are we?

I suspect that an aging geek who actually did something interesting once rates slightly more highly than one of the lest impressive authors working on a somewhat third-rate gutter press IT scandal rag.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that if you were both on fire, and I only had enough bladder contents to save one of you, I'd rather see Woz live. He may not be a reincarnation of Alan Turing, but he's a darn sight more useful than you, sir.

Lenovo joins the smartbook gang

Jaques Croissant

funny thing about netbooks

VIdeo playback was horrific on mine until fairly recently, I think something wonderful happenedm like YUV scaling surface xv support or something, as I can watch Freeview full screen on it- mine has MythTV on it for sheer silliness. It runs like a dream, whereas before, it would have struggled to play the same video in a tiny window, in any of the apps that I use. VLC is much happier, too.

Obviously, Ion chipset would be awesome, with WPPAUG or whatever it's called giving HD h.264 decode with about 15% CPU load, but meantime, this is nice.

Google betas Chrome for Mac, Linux

Jaques Croissant

woo yay hoopla

I've been tracking the developer binary builds for a bit, added the repository on my desktop bix, and it has been nice and stable under linux for ages.

Of course, it's not a contender for my primary browser due to noscript and adblock on ffox being a must, but it runs nicely, I must say.

Nikon D300s DSLR

Jaques Croissant
Paris Hilton


What I don't need is you bastards telling me about a decent Nikon DSLR. I love my old Nikon film SLR and am trying not to be tempted right now. Nikon seem to make admirablysolid cameras which provide great results with minimal hassle.

I hate you guys :)

Europe welcomes Dell's Mac Mini Zino HD

Jaques Croissant

Initial thought..

"..that might be nice to run MythTV on".. Followed by "eeew, AMD Radeon graphics". I think I'd rather buy a nice ASRock IONSTAR for a similar price. At least that thing can play 1080p video with virtually no CPU load under Linux without locking up,

(Hint, do a review of the IONSTAR box, dearest Reg, it's actually rather nice)

Xbox 360 Twitter, Facebook clients rated X

Jaques Croissant
Thumb Down


Now if they could just extend this policy to Live in general, it might be worth using. The recent rounds of bannings have made things better- but only a bit. It's still lots of giggle 14 year-olds squeaking c*cksucking n*gger and other such gems at each other.

Irritated that I bought a Live subscription in a moment of boredom...

Palm Pre evicted from iTunes (yet again)

Jaques Croissant


Frankly, screw even going near a Pre. I was considering some form of smartphone to reduce the number of gadgets that I need to carry, but I don't intend to buy something based around such childish and unprofessional "haxx". I don't want to be caught unable to access my device due to Palm's mewlish refusal to act like grownups.

Just die already Palm, your time has clearly passed, and you've gone a bit David Icke. There are plenty of other better choices that either have their own software, or adhere to relevant standards, so they don't need it.

Time to axe Microsoft's Zune

Jaques Croissant
Paris Hilton


Well well.. when you don't have a monopoly in a segment, things are a little different, eh? You can't just poop out something mediocre and expect it to fly off the shelves because most people don't know they have a choice.

It's not just the iPod, there are lots of viable competitors to the brown monstrosity. It's a perfectly competent player, though ugly and boring- but a lot of people got burned by Microsoft-based media players before. "Plays for sure", nuff said. The fact that people are demanding DRM-free files pretty much kills any future MS monopoly play based on device lock-in in the portable music player sector anyway.

The fact that only Americans has them, and don't understand why the rest of the world finds them hilarious when they encounter one is another sign that Microsoft's marketing failed, too, of course.

It's hard to imagine a less "cool" bit of kit, or a less exciting one. Ironic, as there are far worse Microsoft products.

Hands on with Sony's Vaio P netbook

Jaques Croissant
Paris Hilton

Couldn't you try writing informative articles?

These terrible-quality videos aren't as thrilling as all that- I don't really come to the reg for half-arsed youtube-age. KTHXBAI.

Where's Wally Vista SP2?

Jaques Croissant
Paris Hilton

Oi, Kelly

Please don't make me feel sorry for Vista.. I know it limps along in a pitiful manner, but I don't want to find myself re-installing it out of pity :(