* Posts by Jemma

1045 publicly visible posts • joined 31 Dec 2008

Introducing 'freedom gas' – a bit like the 2003 deep-fried potato variety, only even worse for you

Jemma

Re: Can someone tell me how.....

A couple of hundred pallets of Novichok, stainless steel glass lined spray gear, noddy suits, a few A400M spray planes and a really wide interpretation of the phrase "omelettes and eggs" should do the job admirably.

*fires up eBay*

Can get everything else - just need the loopy* juice.

*more accurately the twitchy, dribbly, convulsey, pissy & die-ey juice.

But quite honestly it doesn't matter. We're done. If we're not fucking up the environment we're fucking up our genetic diversity and resilience. The last human will die at the age of 93 sitting in a plastic chair watching Hollyoaks DVDs - so much for intelligent life.

Jemma

Re: she's cleverer than him

There are stem pelycosaurs that are cleverer than him. Better looking too.

I have to admit I'm curious about her - but since there's a good chance she'll spout on about electric cars being the holy grail - I think I'll give her a miss.

I don't think anyone really knows what it'll take to get out of this mess and no one really wants to know either. I include Miss Thunberg in this assessment unfortunately. I am 95% certain no one is having even the slightest idea how bad it will get and how fast.

It took 5 million years of massive volcanism to get to the p-t extinction heating of between 7-16c. We've managed to get most of the way to the lower boundary there in less than 100 years.

Sorry, Greta love, we're well and truly f*&#ed. You and yours included.

Where there's a will, there's Huawei: US govt already eases trade ban with 90-day reprieve

Jemma

If you think Putin is sane in the traditional sense of the word you need to examine this individual in detail.

Yes, I will concede he appears to be merely an extremely good politician who has the Shitgibbon and the Twiglet completely outclassed (please not Smeagol Gove), which doesn't exactly take a Korolev to work out. But that is the public persona.

The man is ex high ranking KGB and if I remember rightly he was kicking around with a gent called Suslov. Suslov was a deeply scary "puppet master" type who even controlled people like Andropov and others in the background.

He has stated that he is still communist and some say Stalinist in outlook. He has access to every single toy the various directorates came up with and every thing since. He has already deployed "newcomer" in the UK - in public no less - and if you believe the "rogue actors" line here's another fine quote "peace in our time".

If Putin Inc did bias the US election to get the Shitgibbon in - there will be an ulterior motive. I think it's the following;

Putin knows the Shitgibbon is as thick as the big print version of the collective Shakespeare. He knows he's a sociopathic racist and bigot. He also knows that the Shitgibbon hates communism. Putin doesn't hate communism - but it must really grind his gears that the Chinese have "succeeded" and he hates USA and UK (many reasons for the latter, not least Gordievsky, Alibek et al). So he's got everything he wants - so far. The Inbredistanis are fighting amongst themselves in a kind of snowflake VS racist version of McCarthyism. Then there's the part where Darth Shitgibbon has managed to alienate every single ally and has thrown his toys out of the pram with China. Qui Bono? Putin. He gets to pick up the pieces in any possible situation by looking like a mature statesman (which given the competition... ) - but two example possibilities - it all goes nukey mcnukeface; Putins two biggest competitors are glow in the dark wastelands and Russia has hegemony. Second - we get to the verge of war and Putin steps in and defuses the situation (that he may well have engineered), massive political kudos and respect for Putin and by extension Russia - which means more influence for Russia and less pesky people noticing a track record on human rights that'd have Dr Dr Otto Rasch having night terrors, Russia may end up with hegemony.

Russia have been buying up farmland in the States, UK and Europe. They already have substantial energy control. If they could mobilise the methane ices safely (for a given value of safe, anyone else remember that nuclear reactor made out of second hand Wartburgs?) in the permafrosts as a fuel resource... The whole of Europe and conceivably North Africa will be potentially in the cacky. Or how about nuking the areas with methane ice deposits - a really nasty version of the oil wells in Iraq..

Putin is a Suslov-ite KGB man, he's also a president, but primarily he's who he was made to be. His priorities are Russia, Russia and Russia - by whatever means - acceptable to others or not. I don't know enough to say whether he'd consider himself still working under Communism or Russia-ism - but either way he is a talented and very dangerous individual - and compared to the competition he's in a whole different class. Putin is a black ops politician and the best we can do is Granny Saggy-Jowls, Smeagol Gove, Twitty Patel, Cadaver McGrath & co (feat. Cardinal Rees-Mogg) not so much black ops as "special farces". America has the Orange Shitgibbon - who couldn't be working out better for Putin. Europe doesn't know if it's coming or going because of Brexit and the retard ratio is growing exponentially.

The clue a lot of the time is to look for what a person doesn't say in between what they do say. Putin is at his most eloquent with his mouth firmly shut. Shitgibbon on the other hand probably thinks an Eloquent is a kind of large grey coloured mammal that's partial to grass.

The best part of this utter shitshow for Putin? Everyone is distracted - some by Shitgibbon waving his balls around.. 'helicopter!!' - some by brexit.. Some by the racist nut jobs, others by religious nut jobs and the rest are wondering how much of a greentard they'd have to be to get into Thunbergs panties.. Come back Neville Chamberlain - all is forgiven.

Jemma

The Orange Shitgibbon isn't the scary part, neither are the Chinese. No, the scary part is Putin. He's a nutcase and a psychopath and the only people he hates more than the Chinese are the British and the Inbredistanis in that order. Why? Because he will never forget nor forgive the Oleg Gordievsky operation. I seriously wouldn't put it past him to go after both sides (us included) if Darth Stupidus gets another term in office. And he's just the sort of nutter to be out in a noddy suit with a backpack sprayer full of Novichok for the shits & giggles. He's the Christopher Pelant of international politics..

*for some reason I envisage this delivered by Red Octobers Jeffrey Pelt.

Jemma

Re: Apple shares

There is another option what with Tim Nice but Dim popping into the White House - wouldn't be the first time a president played for both teams..

Aagghh the images of the possibilities. Brain bleach! Brain bleach! If any political pundit uses the words pegged or pegging - I will *so* not be able to control myself.

On the upside we can call him the Orange Twinkgibbon.

"I thought blowing the Horn of Gondor was supposed to summon Armies of the West. Apparently not. Very educational, all the same" LOTR secret diaries.

Jemma

Re: Around the world ? Really ?

Pascal,

I couldn't give you enough upvotes for that comment if I spent the next 10 years doing nothing but giving you upvotes.

Ironic isn't it - Lincoln the talented politician gets assassinated and the utterly clueless Orange Shitgibbon is still upright and breathing. I think history got things the wrong way round.

Silence of the vans: Uber adds 'Plz STFU, driver' button to app for posh passengers using Black

Jemma

I always sit in the front as female. No possibly of being locked in (Rapey McChildlocks anyone?) , and if I don't feel safe theres the handbrake on & seatbelt off experience (for the driver if I'm really feeling vicious).

And if my driver happens to have a heart attack or something I've got a remote chance of keeping some control of the vehicle.

If you want me in the back and locked in? Guess again.

Uber? Not a chance in hell - although that "waaaay too attracted to his mum" YouTube twerp who goes slapper hunting in a Lamborghini as an Uber driver was mildly entertaining even if a menace to road safety (two girls into one bucket seat, both facing forward doesn't work).

Prez Trump's trade war reshapes electronics supply chains as China production slows

Jemma

Re: Of course not

Sigh.

Your grandparents genetics did him in, via cigarettes. People come in three types. People who aren't affected by nicotine (me) who tried smoking once and never again; people who are half way addictive to nicotine (social smokers); people who will get addicted and will smoke like the Blucher steaming on lignite till they drop dead. I would bet he was the 3rd group - and of all the things it was cancer that killed him. With me it would be, were I to smoke like a class 37 on a cold morning, most likely a heart attack, because of my genetics. I've been exposed to glyphosate and the sun. I've had cancer - in the middle of my right forearm - which was the most exposed part of my body to the sun. But not anywhere else.

If you use glyphosate properly it quite literally *cannot* cause cancer - you can't get cancer from it if you bung it in a knapsack sprayer that leaks like a seive at 10x the recommended active concentration. It's being blamed probably because it's the only active that the greentards can pronounce.

The cancer that couple have and the black gardener claimed is from roundup sounds more like KS or something or even something from skin contaminated by asbestos dust - there is no way of proving its from glyphosate - even if you could be 100% sure that the person had used no other herbicides or insecticides or fungicides you have *no* idea what they've been exposed to.

Let's put it this way. The cancers seem to be similar. Fair go. So we assume that because of 3 patients assume that they got it from glyphosate then that's correct. All well and good. Apart from one fucking huge problem. Farmers aren't dropping like flies, and they should be, since glyphosate was introduced in 1977 and every single arable farmers used it, gardeners, council employees, you name it. I can remember holding a box of the stuff as a kid on the back seat of a 1981 Cavalier SRi. Yeah I've had cancer but because I have fair skin and get sunburnt. There are much worse chemicals that people have been exposed to - my grandad was doused from head to toe in neat DDT powder by army policy, my dad used to clean up DDT spills with a bloody yard broom and/or a hose. There is still a bloody huge store of DDT in the UK retained for killing locusts.

But the important part is this and its simple enough even for you to understand. No chemicals, no yield, no yield, no food, no food, fuckwits like you rioting and whingeing and turning Basildon high street into a Mad Max re run. There are too many people not to use agrochemicals and fertiliser if we want to feed them and scream and shout all you like but understand this - glyphosate is effective, it is reasonably priced, and it is one of the few that don't need multiple applications. It is therefore cheaper, wastes less fuel and causes less compaction and land damage and it works because if it didn't farmers wouldn't touch it. It's the least worst option, but by all means ban it because three dumbass inbredistanis and their lawyers conned a judge and a load of people who have no agricultural knowledge whatsoever.

I will say it again slowly. If Glyphosate causes cancer like HPV or Dioxin (contaminant of agent orange) then show me 35+% of arable farmers dropping dead from that precise cancer. You can't. Giving a chav a BJ is more likely to give you cancer than necking a litre can of glyphosate.

The court screwed the pooch in this case because it's innocent until proven guilty. You can't prove guilt without testing every single thing they've been exposed to over a lifetime. That simply isn't possible. So two people got a completely spurious pay out of $1 billion for something that is completely umprovable at best and a less than 1% probability at worst.

Hell, if your grandpa did the same job as mine during WW2 he'd have been elbow deep in 140 octane (purple petrol) half the time - and that stuff ate aluminium fuel tanks like xenomorph blood and the additive is a definite carcinogen - grandad never got cancer - because it's not in our genetics.

Short version - you want food for 7 billion people? You use agrochemical. You cull that back down to 3.5bn like the end of the war you could *just* about get away with organic - but then you'd whine about using GMO'S etc when you fail to realise that every single crop you plant has been genetically engineered by crossbreeding - what you thought carrots were always orange? Nope either white or purple is the natural colour. You think the original strains of wheat got 6 tons an acre? Not a chance.

I wouldn't mind so much if it was argued from a position of knowledge but it never is - dribbling cockwomble would be giving the greentardistas far too much credit. Less than that is due if they drive a tesla. The manufacturing and use of a 100kw tesla in CO2 emissions using UK style mixed energy generation - would take 17.6 *years* to equalise the CO2 emissions of a clean petrol or diesel (engineering explained) - so the production and use of 2 muskkretinwagen for 17 years (on our current genset mix) would be reasonably equivalent to the CO2 produced by the manufacture and running of my carburettor Wolseley 18/85 for 46 *years*. Oh very clean!

Jemma

Re: China has the upper hand and Trump is too stupid to see it

Have an upvote but I so so so didn't need that mental image. It's not so much a case of brain bleach as molecular acid..

Giving Trump a presidency is like giving Jimmy Saville his own primary school. You know it's going to go to hell - you just don't know when.

I wonder what would happen to Apple if the Chinese government banned trading with the US, ditto every other US company that trades in electronic parts and engineering equipment.

I see Trumpvilles on the horizon - Great Depression II: The Search for Who to Blame.

Sadly the one person who *won't* get the blame is Donnie Dickwit.

Jemma

Re: China has the upper hand and Trump is too stupid to see it

I think he'll get in again - and if the Shitgibbon gets in then his winding up China will be the least of our problems.

I think it's time for the UK to take the "special relationship" gently out behind the woodshed and do what comes naturally.

Trump is Tommy Midgely Jr times a thousand. He is toxic in every possible way. The trouble is he's freed the inbredistanis inner racist asshole and a lot of them will vote for him just so that can continue.

Ironic isn't it, 4.6 billion years to get to an intelligent life form and the first thing it does? A mass extinction, including very likely causing its own extinction.

PS: for the millionth time Inbredistan, glyphosate does *not* cause cancer. If it did my dad and everyone he worked with since 1977 would be dead, especially the guy who used to drink the concentrate as a joke (who would now be 85 and is living in Ireland), and my brother and I would be riddled with it. $1 billion compensation for something that didn't happen..

Register Lecture: Hidden heroes of Alan Turing's Enigma

Jemma

Technically

They didn't "break" it as such. It was more crappy cipher security by the luftwaffe & heer that kind of let them in (as well as some useful help from the Poles) and with that collection of information the key could be calculated from constants in messages such as "Heil Hitler". That said it worked unless you count the trouble with the U-boat system, referred to as "tunny" I think, that was regularly changed & updated.

Turings later work is actually more interesting - and the Welchman story is even more depressing than Turings.

PS British government - a half assed half baked apology for driving the guy to suicide or having him murdered after chemically castrating him is NOT OK, you fucking safe-spacing whiney snowflake hypocrites - I note his family got no compensation or recognition for what Turing was put through, but then that wasn't in the budget was it?

Take my bits awaaaay: DARPA wants to develop AI fighter program to augment human pilots

Jemma

Re: For every upside, there's a downside.

In comparison to whom precisely? There are various "experts" who agree that the Americans in 1917 in all areas had the self preservation instincts of a mole in a minefield. The only one who had any common sense was Pershing who said let's go to Berlin and that way they'll know they've lost. Shame no one listened to him. But maybe not - because most people alive today wouldn't exist.

Time after time they were advised to do things the way the French and English had learnt at great cost - and time after time they ignored the advice and got a pasting. The Canadians listened - were trained and deployed properly and their losses were much lower and they mastered combined arms operations in 6 months - 100 years later the average American still thinks that "combined operations" involve a combine, a field of barley and a Fordson Major diesel or Farmall rowcrop (it were good enough fer yer grandpappy so it's good enough to you).

And all you need to know is that after all that not a single lesson was learned for the next time around.. By anyone but the Germans ironically.

Pervitin for the win, literally.

Jemma

Re: For every upside, there's a downside.

A chimpanzee in a paraglider could outperform most American fighter pilots according to the RAF people I've talked to.

Hell, W.E.Johns mentions they're shit as early as 1917, to paraphrase "don't cross the lines at less than 15,000 feet, so if you get hit you have some time to glide back" and the inbredistanis toddle over at 7,000 get their asses pasted by a circus - and Bigglesworth and company have to retrieve their derrieres from the hot cooking utensils.

But let's look at the choices for who programs it. It's like a Denis Nedry lookalike convention. Microsoft, Apple, Android script kiddies, gamers all hired and managed by Crapita, hell lets really push the side valve powered boat out - have IBM code it. You'd get a cross between Watson and Holly from Red Dwarf.

Imagine what it'd spout if you put it on a nuclear bomber? "Dead Dave, everyone is. Everyone is dead Dave. Yes, even Trump - what? A girl can dream.."

Seriously, what could possibly go right?

Reminds me of a scene in the Andromeda Strain where the character gets a chubby for the computer voice and then is brutally let down "She's 76 and lives in Oklahoma"

US foreign minister Mike Pompeo to give UK a bollocking over Huawei 5G plans

Jemma

Re: Irony

Should probably tell him to ask the Dwarfs - a win-win situation because you just *know* he'll call them "lawn ornaments" and be found hanging from trees and jammed down rabbit holes shortly after..

Old pTerry & George Carlin must be watching with disbelief - not even the two combined could come up with this..

Jemma

Re: 51st state

Upvote for the idea - but I hope fervently you don't mean Meritless Markle herself - she'd be more insufferable as US Shitgibbon in Chief than Winston Spencer Churchill (his mum was inbredistani, and very pretty by all accounts - God alone what happened to produce Winston who looks like a bulldog with advanced mumps).

Im sure they'll be plenty of tesla shooting brakes around for royals to be incinerated in, although where you'd find a white Fiat Uno... Or there's always the Jeep cheerio-kee (the kee is the noise all the expelled air makes through your larynx when you realise you are standing in front of a wall at the bottom of the hill, and the parking brake failed 20 seconds ago..) - and they're owned by Fiat so that gives us an excuse to invade Italy to get our own back for the Asterix books and crappy Arthurian remakes starring Noddy, Big Ears, and their sidekicks token Witch and extremely token almost-but-not-quite-black actress playing a not-quite-domestic-slave...

The British Empire 2.0 - on which the sun never sets (because its too busy pissing itself laughing).

Jemma

Re: 51st state

On the contrary dear boy, they have proven quite talented at talking out of their gravitas, on far too regular an occasion - some of their studied inanities would put Prince "my mum wasn't nuts, and I'm not either, so there" Phillip to shame.

Jemma

Re: To paraphrase Sir David Kelly..

Zero to climate change denier in 20 minutes - that has to be a record even for here.

Just so we are clear - who kept the "third world or underdeveloped" countries in that state until now.

Oh my furry Shitgibbons - that's right - the European colonial powers, Russia and the US (not necessarily in that order).

And although it's a very unfashionable fact, blood and upbringing tells. Sociopathic behaviour and belief in religion stemming from that has been distilled in the US like a hogwarts potion - it's endemic and always will be unless someone does a Novichok-reset and black start* on the Inbredistani collective.

*A grid electricity term of art, it means restarting from literally nothing.

And please understand - the extinction is happening - even inbredistani scientists (and I use the term under advisement) agree its happening and that warming may go as high as +7°c or more. Good luck ostrich-boy.

Who knows you might be reincarnated as a lystrosaurus...

Jemma

To paraphrase Sir David Kelly..

If you think we're going to gamble on Herr Trumps "guarantees", you're making a grave mistake. All those years in Inbredistan seem to have left you mentally deranged. We're not easily frightened. Also we know how hard it is for your army to cross a river, let alone the channel. The last little Shitgibbon who tried came a cropper. So don't threaten or dictate to us until you're waddling up Whitehall! And even then we won't listen!

I can just see the scene in my minds eye.

Quite frankly it's lucky I'm not PM cos every single Inbredistani would be deported. They funded the IRA, they kicked off Al Qaeda in every sense of the word, and then people here died violently because of their stupidity and actions.

They're not the descendants of Europes "huddled masses" because most of the people who ended up there were people who were rightly hated for either religious or political shit stirring of epic and universal proportions - and then they interbred (and more than occasionally inbred). So now we have sociopathic religiopathic racist psychopaths and their attitude is spreading to us.

America - if you hadn't noticed we are in the middle of a mass extinction that you very strongly can be blamed for. Kindly do the world a favour and leave early to avoid the rush. I am entirely sure you have enough guns - and you millennial snowflakes should be able to find a YouTube video.. "How to shoot yourself in the face" would be a good start.

Europol takes down Wall Street market: No, the other cesspool of dark international financial skullduggery

Jemma

I don't think my mind will ever recover..

From Herbert as Obi-Wan in "Blue Harvest"

There were so many levels of wrong in that I just don't know where to start. Especially the musical number. Never in the field of human entertainment has so much "no" been inflicted on so many by so few..

And I recognise the name Ruth Porat - wasn't she something to do with the story of the 2008 Lehmans et al implosion.

PS to all businessmen and bankers. Please don't do that again because I don't want to have to wade through another Sorkin book - he can bore people to death at an Olympic level.

We regret to inform you the massive asteroid NASA's all excited about probably won't hit Earth

Jemma

"Tell me Hex, the safe animals in Australia?"

A piece of paper slowly drifted out of the air.

"Hmm, some of the sheep*..."

*so long as they aren't really Kangaroos

"call that a knife, no worries, this is a crossbow"

Jemma

Re: Yeah... So can I..

Mines a 1971 - with a few special modifications. As far as know there are 8 Wolseley 18/85 II from that year still on the road. That's it.

Fun fact. The Wolseley has the engine from the MGB and you can get a supercharger kit for the MGB.. Yes, it's been done. A 130hp Morris 1800 in Australia. They also did a 4.4 flat plane v8 prototype with longitudinal engine and transverse automatic - apparently it was great, until you came to a corner..

Nice car to drive but too many suicidal idiots these days... For the 15th time teenage girl... I am NOT driving a bloody MINI - I don't have ABS and crumple zones happen to other people..

Jemma

Knicker elastic subframes

And then there's that nice fibreboard cog for the oil pump drive.. Worked well, right up until it didnt

Jemma

Yeah... So can I..

Exhaust hangers

SU carb throttle return springs

Alternator/dynamo belts

I've only driven a landy once, it was terrifying, like a two tonne skateboard on black ice - although off road they are impressive. Someone in the village has a lightweight v8 one - goes like a scalded cat with a JATO pack rammed up it's arse, but has VW Thing style seats and goes airborne at practically every bump.. Would give health & safety people fits.

I own a Wolseley landcrab.. Wonderful idea BMC putting the fuel line right down the centre of the car, millimetres away from that exhaust pipe thingy. Nice to drive - even nicer now I've finally managed to unbodge the garage bodge of putting wrong plugs in (5/6 instead of 9s) and then richening the mixture to hide the bad work..

Jemma

The Royal "We".

Well, at least you could use the 20W50 for the landy & the lady friend.

Complex automation won't make fleshbags obsolete, not when the end result is this dumb

Jemma

Re: "We will need a new generation of workers – robot minders"

I can just *see* pTerry...

"Where's Flixborough...?"

"Precisely."

The problem is if a blinkered, autistic, racist (this is mostly Inbredistan tech after all) programs an AI or robotic system - you will get a blinkered, autistic, racist AI.

You really don't want an unthinking blinkered AI when you are mass producing Hexanitrohexaazaisowurtzitane - bad things will happen - and we aren't talking about lab glassware buried in the wall, we are talking about lab buried in the next county including most of the surrounding town. As pTerry put it "if everything was perfectly placed you got a passable cup of tea, if it wasn't it stripped the plaster off the wall and handed you a passable cup of cat"

You don't want a racist and armed one in the NYPD - it'd make the battle of the Somme look like a Time Team re-enactment - although God alone knows what it'd make of Phil Harding. May I introduce you to an old robot saying "does not compute".

And they're putting them in cars... Driven in all likelihood by Americans, Italians and French (have you *seen* the arc'd'triomph roundabout?!!!!!). What could possibly go wrong?

Rising sea levels? How about the rising risk of someone using a nuke?

Jemma

Unfortunately

The minister, a Mr Jim Hacker, was not available for comment.. It appears that he is spending more time with his bunker.

Seriously, where do they find these idiots. Stop giving nutters ideas. Keep schtum. It's not like we haven't got enough to be dealing with.

Now here's a Galaxy far, far away: Samsung stalls Fold rollout after fold-able screens break in hands of reviewers

Jemma

Re: Introducing the all new Allegro*...

Bet I can tell you why. They put the boot seal on backwards - so it fed water into the boot not away from it.

My dad's old boss had a brand new Mercedes - it rained heavily and the boot was a paddling pool, bordering on a trainee lake. It turned out to be the boot lid seal had been fitted backwards and directed the water into the car - a 500SEL convertible of all things.

They drained it and replaced all the damaged parts and put the seal on the right way - no more problem.

Jemma

Re: Introducing the all new Allegro*...

Technically yes - but they were advertising the Fiat Strada - the most godawful heap in a company famed for godawful heaps, if Baldric had been a car he would have been a Fiat Strada. I think it was originally "hand-built by robots" or something similar. Even a 1100 Allegro in baby skidmark brown would have had more showroom appeal.

Still it was better than the original Nissan Almera advert - "the car they don't want you to have" - so no one did.

Jemma

Introducing the all new Allegro*...

By Samsung.

*It could be worse, look up the Vanden Plas 1500..

I've even got the tagline (thank you Fiat)

"Built by expendables, broken by morons"

What's wrong with a clamshell with a keyboard and a hinge - remember those - I remember those, I feel so old.

This is going to be a case of Triggers Broom. 16 new screens, 3 new batteries and one not very bright owner - eh Dave?

Microsoft debuts Bosque – a new programming language with no loops, inspired by TypeScript

Jemma

What's the difference between...

Bossk & Microsoft?

Bossk is only second best...

Still - at least it's not Ada

IBM bid to unmask age discrimination whistleblower goes down in flames

Jemma

Yeah..

They're quite familiar with aix & pains apparently - it's why they're trying to sack them...

Jemma

Of course we don't age...

Wolfram & Hart - we really *are* vampires.

Or

LV426 - they got away with it; so can you!

I can so see Apple being a valued customer too.

"Crapple keyboards? Talk to the Hellmouth"

Uncle Sam charges Julian Assange with conspiracy to commit computer intrusion

Jemma

Re: Is this the best that the USA can come up with ?

Shouldn't that be "Project Reich" herr kamerad?

London's Metropolitan Police arrest Julian Assange

Jemma

Re: In other news...

Alias Mr. D. Trump Esq?

Jemma

Re: Interesting timing ....

3 years for me, working in Hatfield - that really is cruel and unusual punishment - ah the memories. ShITenet - the lowest common denominator would have been a step up.

It's the UK version of LV426.

Jemma

Re: Did they get the right guy? ...

Indicted for "pervy hobbit fancying" perhaps?

Not biased against you and not going anywhere, judge tells Post Office in Horizon IT system case

Jemma

A job...

For Mr Gryle methinks

Town admits 'a poor decision was made' after baseball field set on fire to 'dry' it more quickly

Jemma

Roundup & diesel..

Always a good decision..

Just check for live hand grenades beforehand!

My dad did the R & D trick in the back garden - when we moved in - then cross rotavated - then went round beating the crap out of scaffolding pins - and the egg shaped extremely live not-a-scaffolding-pin..

Must have been built under contract by Morris because even after all that it didn't explode..

You were warned and you didn't do enough: UK preps Big Internet content laws

Jemma

Re: "is already a psychotic"

I know that experiment to which you refer and you kind of missed the point.

Psychosis isn't being a soldier and killing a soldier on the other side. That's training and following orders. Not the same as being the person who is responsible for the orders in the first place.

The dangerous ones are the self initiators. The person who, off his own bat, goes over to an island full of teens and uses them for a live fire exercise.

It's basically scientific proof for the concept of "everyone has their price" in this case, torturing a stranger, under a psychologists suggestion.

That is VERY different to sitting down on Lake Wannsee and deliberately and quite calmly formulating murder as government policy.

Jemma

Wrong way round..

What's the difference between Jimmy Saville and the Conservative Party?

The Conservatives have fucked more kids.

Ask me how I know.

There's almost literally nothing I haven't seen online - I'm still perfectly normal. I haven't machine gunned some nuns, I'm not inclined to chop off Scandinavian tourists heads for fun, and I can't say that watching Yesterday on freeview makes me want to buy up a block of flats in Chelmsford, fill it full of Jews and rename it Auschwitz Acres and do what comes naturally (although I'd love to see their faces at the planning meeting for stage 3). And yes, I have every right to dislike the revisionist cretins since I'd be under 4 religious death sentences if I set foot in Israel, just because I exist.

I am as far from a violent person as it is possible to be.

This is the point that every MP, godbotherer, reverse collar merchant (ironic when they're shagging altar boys like they're going out of fashion) fails to understand.

THE ONLY TYPE OF PERSON who might act this stuff out in meatspace - is already a psychotic (or possibly the president of Facebook) - has been a psychotic since he or she was very young - and will always be. And if we had a proper mental health service would have been identified long before they disemboweled a random teenage girl in a public park.

And you just KNOW that it'll be sexual content next - so kids will have to learn about sexuality from school lessons - good fucking luck with that "You don't go charging for the clitoris like a bull at a gate! What's wrong with a little kiss, boy?". My "sex-ed" classes were worse - don't ask about the lilo and the tuxedos.. And then there's Captain Handjob - the SPED kid who jacked off for two hours straight, tackle out, in music class...

This is another fecking stupid idea from fecking stupid people who shouldn't be allowed breathing privileges. Here's a thought on stopping the violence - ban religion - oh, that's right, won't win you votes will it?

That's not including the technical issues.

I have said it before and I'll say it again - government has no place in peoples sexuality or inclination to watch violence (christ almighty have you never seen "Battle of Britain"? Gut shots, fried pilots, Corpsey McWaaf, or countless others) it's damaging and inappropriate to try an practice sexual mind control by government order and is as bad as Brunei dropping rocks on gay guys heads. In fact it's more damaging - because repressed individuals are more likely to become dangerous than otherwise.

Funny though isn't it - I could still go and see a slasher flick in the cinema - oh wait, that's right, profit... (and let's be brutally honest, why do women and girls watch them? It ain't the acting to be sure, it's so they can go home and fantasise about being Lil Miss Gut Stabbed - I've female friends who happily admit it!)

Here's an idea government. DO YOUR FECKING JOB and maintain the NHS mental health and look after proper sex ed in schools and stop pandering to the religious retards that cause 90% of the problem in the first damn place. Strange isn't it, you throw a governmental wobbly about religious anti-vaxxers but you are perfectly happy to use their deranged opinions on sexuality to try and perform mind control on me...

Two Arkansas dipsticks nicked after allegedly taking turns to shoot each other while wearing bulletproof vests

Jemma

Arkensas...

"We're so inbred, even the pharaohs are sayin'" oh, hell no!""

Or

"Quick, someone go find the 50-cal"

Im imagining something of a Bert Gummer character, just without the brains or the looks. Could have been worse for the wife, they might have decided to go with a Soreass Hill re-enactment. "But when I look at him, all I see is him getting rammed on the porch..."

Hey, what's Mandarin for 'WTF is going on?' Nokia phones caught spewing device IDs to China, software blunder blamed

Jemma

They mostly come at night...

Mostly..

That'll be the time difference then love, nothing to worry about.

Agreed - uncontrolled spaffing is bad enough. Uncontrolled spaffing in plain is just ridiculous. I have to say though I don't think the Inbredistanis are bright enough to be running a plant or fake (ie pretending) , unless possibly it's an Aquilegia.

I have now started to wonder what Aliens would have been like if the Marine team had been British squaddies & officers, circa Kohima ... I have a twisted mind sometimes.

Or Carry On Up The Sulaco.

Whole new meaning to the word "tiffin" for a start.

/pass me the meds

Android clampdown on calls and texts access trashes bunch of apps

Jemma

Wow

Do you really think Google & Apple are any different? They're both Inbredistani companies that have one interest - themselves. If your messages are sitting in someone else's app that means it's harder for Google to leach them behind your back. Control your own connectivity on your own phone that you paid good money for? To make a hollow laughing.

And as far as waving through BlackBerry.. Really? Google helping a competitor? Pigs might fly*.

As for the broken promises I suspect the app problems are more incompetence than intent. Google might have blocked or removed certain processes and activities usually related to the banned procedures - and caught out ppl who've shoehorned them to do something else.

Don't expect much help - Google can't even manage a dark theme for the play store... After God knows how many years of asking?

*/ the one with the coffman cartridges please.. Guess which hole?

'It's like painting with atoms'... Watch how boffins form armies of simple micron-sized bots from a silicon wafer

Jemma

Re: No, but...

This isn't so much "tweaking the dragons tail" as it is dousing yourself in pigs blood, walking into the middle of a bunch of adult male v.komodoensis and shouting "dinner time Fido". There are so many ways this could go wrong there isn't enough room for it to go right.

It's like a really disturbing episode of the Mr Meaty "cartoon" which is disturbing on general principle.

People need to get sick and die - that's what's supposed to happen - the human race needs to change and evolve - and we've decoupled both concepts and are just *starting* to reap the whirlwind. But all the PTSD sufferers (Post Teenage Snowflake Disorder) are horrified that great granny might conceivably kick it at 92 - when back in the old days anyone over 25 was considered well overdue burial inside the nearest smilodon. It's getting more and more deranged.

Jemma

Re: Power isn't a problem...

Yeah, I can't see the problems for the "opportunities" either. I'm thinking in comparison that the Amazon rainforest = cabbage patch.

Can't say I'm loving the "pee them out" idea either - all together now - urethral sandpaper for the win(ce).

I honestly don't understand why people are researching this - if the human race is going to survive we need less people at a less geriatric age - not whole comitatii of crusties wombling (and wobbling) around the place in Fiat 500s and decrepit Hondas & Hyundai.

You just know this will end up being used on the rich crusties so they can get richer & crustier - and that the people who can actually benefit society (for a given value of benefit to be sure in many cases) will be left out and stuck with clumsier more dangerous procedures.

I do see one benefit - these could be set to detect anti-vaxxers and automatically cull them (see the story on Ars about the boy who was in ICU for 47 days with tetanus because he wasn't immunised by anti-vaxxer parents - $811,000 in fees - and after all that they still refused permission to have him immunised). Ditto Measles outbreaks etc.

Jemma

Nought to

Emergent behaviour in 18 months..

/mines the one with the Crichton M.Cs patch

Or

Theranos II: the Search for (more) Funding

Or

Catatonic Park

Let's all just hope their assemblers used to work for Austin-Rover.. Am I right?

And you just *know* they'll be running Windows CE for Nanotechnology - what could possibly go wrong?

Sam Carter, come on down!

Translation table.

Proof of concept. : disaster waiting to happen

FDA approved. : We photoshopped someone else's certification

Completely harmless. : they'll kill or maim *how* many?

Of course they can't reproduce. : ...arrgh; gurgle.

And I'm taking bets on how long it'll be before some bored tech starts using these to make miniscule ascii art..

Civil servants 'Sir Humphrey' their way through grilling on UK.gov's digital transformation

Jemma

To paraphrase..

Sir Humphrey: Prime Minister, what about the people who read Twilight?

Bernard: Twilight readers don't care who runs the country, as long as she's got big fangs.

That would explain a hell of a lot.

Jemma

Re: Is it just me ..

Nah, it isn't just you. And did you really need to ask?

Jemma

Re: Errare humanum est

Only one "bollocks"

So that'll be HitlerOS then?

What has an 'open-door policy' with industry and puts the X into NHS? Brits, let app-happy Matt Hancock tell you

Jemma

Re: Why do I feel an attack of cynicism?

I am. After my experiences working on NHS contracts, it'd be "never again; If an NHS IT manager was in fire I'd put them out with a gallon of 130 RON especially saved for the occasion". On one notable occasion we were being paid £100 a day for grunt work for 3 MONTHS - and could do precisely nothing because no one had thought to get the lock down passwords for the computers before the sysop had buggered off somewhere else. Did they have a contact number for him? No. Did they have a secure password record? No. So the 5 of us were told to sit in the cafe for the duration of the contract and do nothing. £2500 a week for 12 weeks between all of us to do nothing was better than the IT director having to admit he screwed the pooch. And £2500 in NHS speak? That's the price of a minor plastic surgery procedure.

Ironic part? I've been unable to work for years due to NHS misdiagnosis and mistreatment, at the moment I can barely move & have a tentative diagnosis of FND. So to paraphrase Angua "they got me coming & going".