* Posts by Mr Grumblefish

100 publicly visible posts • joined 12 Dec 2008


Australia's first public swatting victim a nice bloke

Mr Grumblefish

Re: "...it's dangerous to the police responding to the people inside the house,"

When you have a large number of people, however well trained, running around with guns it's dangerous to everyone in the vicinity.

Please be seated at your FOUR-LEGGED PC

Mr Grumblefish

Just the thing to go with my Cray 1

Though I might need more than one.

US bloke raises $250k to build robo-masturbation device

Mr Grumblefish

Well, my masturbation experiences have always been realistic.

I use a real hand.

NASA's orbiting space-broadband probe LADEE beams back Moon snaps

Mr Grumblefish

And when it happens

I expect el Reg's headline to be "LADEE bits FOUND ON MOON".

Guinness gives games geek world record for 10,607 piece collection

Mr Grumblefish

Re: picture

I think you've got the wrong room. This is unnecessarily vituperate and essentially irrelevant comments about Apple because the article mentioned in passing a product they once produced.

Dino-boffins discover 100-million-year-old BIRD TRACKS in Australia

Mr Grumblefish

"birds are dinosaurs"

Especially the cassowaries.

Eco-nomics: Was Stern 'wrong for the right reasons' ... or just wrong?

Mr Grumblefish

Re: Inept analogies abound - an entire ecosystem of them

Consider my upvote multiplied by an order of magnitude. Here in Australia there is currently much angst about "boat people". Froth-mouthed demagogues whip up hysteria about the country been swamped by "economic refugees". All in response to a few thousand people per year. Now imagine what would happen if a significant proportion of , say, the North African population decided to tried to move northward in order to "adapt" to higher temperatures. Frankly, I'm happy to pay 5% of my income not to live in that world.

Boffins create super-muscular 'Hulk' mice: Humans next

Mr Grumblefish

Re: We're DOOMED.

No, but I remember The Talons of Weng-Chiang. I wonder if Sydney has any Victorian era sewers left.

Harvard boffins build cyborg skin of flesh and nanowires

Mr Grumblefish

Whereas I

would think " interactive sexbot warriors which will destroy mankind while mankind really enjoys it".

Racketeering suit filed over smut-piracy charges

Mr Grumblefish

And not "hard"

in a good way.

Mr Grumblefish

I mean,

have you ever tried to masturbate to "The C Programming Language, 2nd Ed". It's hard work , I tell you.

Mr Grumblefish

Mr Grumblefish

finds porn extremely useful.

Reg hack attempts gutsiest expenses claim EVER

Mr Grumblefish

Re: Sheer brilliance

It had to happen. The SPB have progressed to constructing a Tardis out of tinfoil and discarded toilet paper tubes.

Two weeks 'til the internet disappears, for 58 Fortune 500 companies

Mr Grumblefish

Re: Not Just Workstations, Not Just Dummies... Sometimes, it's Back-corner Cruft

Bad but I've heard worse.

Oh wait, the point of the story isn't that they were using McAfee.

Menage á tablet: Apple vs Amazon vs Google

Mr Grumblefish

Re: Size Matters or Size Doesn't matter

Just proves that 7" is the perfect size if I do say so myself.

iPad Fleshlight lets fanbois express their love

Mr Grumblefish

I want to know

the correct baud rate. I heard it was important to set it correctly.

Phone maker punts AA-powered blower

Mr Grumblefish

Yes, but

what happens when they change it to 0118 999 88199 9119 725


Area 51 to host sci-fi knocking shop

Mr Grumblefish

Mention of anal probes

inevitably leads to Cartman's rectum and we don't want to go there.

IBM: 'Your PC will read your mind by 2016'

Mr Grumblefish

Mind control on my PC

Excellent - I won't need to download my porn and it will all be extra-kinky.

Erotica 2011 stands firm against rise of the sex machines

Mr Grumblefish

Of course,

Symbian won't provide you with any sexual gratification - that's what iOS is for.

Saddam 'double' kidnapped by smut flick gang

Mr Grumblefish

I look like Ron Jeremy

and I got kidnapped by a gang who wanted to make me the new president of Libya.

It's official: Journos are dumb as a bag of IE users

Mr Grumblefish

One day

I'll tell you about my time with Imogen Smythe-Fortescue.

Reg readers ponder LOHAN's substantial globes

Mr Grumblefish

Place LOHAN on top of the pole using this tube

Is this a "simple solution" or your personal fantasy?


Mr Grumblefish

I'd blame the Norks

but it's pretty difficult to to do any serious hacking over a network consisting of empty soup cans and old pieces of string.

Menorcan politician flashes substantial chesticles

Mr Grumblefish

"I want to get off"

I think that's what's she's counting on.

Mr Grumblefish

I think you missed the "North Korean" connection


Dutch astronaut unleashes 155 mph 'Superbus'

Mr Grumblefish

Cutting edge humour

keep it coming!

Stop sexing up IT and give Civil Servants Macs, says gov tech boss

Mr Grumblefish

Not Samba

It's Kamba the White Lion you're thinking off.

Online world maps rub jubs against todgers

Mr Grumblefish

Though hopefully not at the same time

Brazilians on the other hand. . .

Russian jailed for 6 years for smutty billboard stunt

Mr Grumblefish

It was probably a Ron Jeremy clip

Anyone exposing RJ's naked body to the world deserves serious porridge.

MEGA DINO-WHALE from 'Valley of the Whales' exhibited

Mr Grumblefish

Yes but ...

"There’s no limit of sponsors per bone". This way you get to share your bone.

Google Maps for Droid phones becomes a LOT better

Mr Grumblefish

Does that mean I can stand on top of them

like Captain Jack?

Unfeasibly vast amphibian found croaked on video card

Mr Grumblefish


but do you really want to admit to getting on a bi.


Mr Grumblefish


You mean I'll have to make do with Keira. Heartbroken!

Apple Facetime flings out frightening random calls

Mr Grumblefish


its always hackers.

Berners-Lee: Facebook 'threatens' web future

Mr Grumblefish

That's me dated then

I can remember when 'glamour' was a code word for 'naked boobies'.

Most coders have sleep problems, need 'hygiene and care'

Mr Grumblefish


You mean no sex?

Mozilla 'cloud' code editor breaks with Lando Calrissian

Mr Grumblefish

"Apparently, some people didn't like it."

Yeah, should have been called Stratos.

- a Star Trek fan

Cyber-jihadists deface home of teddy bears' picnic

Mr Grumblefish

Now things really will get nasty

Do not anger the teddy bears. Just don't.

Meego goes 3D

Mr Grumblefish

Polygonal Porn

I'll pass on that thanks.

Black helicopters circle 'Welsh Roswell'

Mr Grumblefish

but the Doors are fine

assuming the aliens have the technology to reanimate Jim.

Exiting workers more likely to steal data than stationery

Mr Grumblefish

Data? What's wrong with the traditional items.

Two cans of beer.

Clinton barrels in to BlackBerry brouhaha

Mr Grumblefish

Wrong Clinton

Next thing you'll be blaming Hillary for the stains on that dress.

Turkish pranksters load Facebook Translate with swears

Mr Grumblefish


4 wtf!


NHS spunks £7.5k on porn room

Mr Grumblefish


British Union of Pornographic Actresses?

You're confusing the colonials.

Fragrant tech thief stalks Whitehall

Mr Grumblefish

Nah, it wasn't "the Lady of the Lies"

It was a black man.

On a horse.

Underground tunnel complexes FOUND ON MOON

Mr Grumblefish

Good idea

I've been looking for undercover parking for my Eagle for bloody years.

Gulf spill to annihilate all earthlings, says seer

Mr Grumblefish

On second thought

he's probably rejected the scenario as too understated.

Image recognition – defense against a Lampard replay?

Mr Grumblefish

Is a Lampard replay

some form of man in the middle attack? Looks like I'll never know since the article text appears to have been inadvertently run though an Enigma machine.