Posts by Eddy Ito

Police issue lock-up-your-chihuahuas killer owl warning

What about the birds?

Will it eat starlings and pigeons too or do I need to find an escaped falcon?

Mutated genetic supertrout developed in lab

cage^H^H^H^H tank match

Are we ready to rumble?? The fight of the century where the truculent trout goes mano^H^H^H^H fin to fin with the sinister snake head in a winner take all... (What? An almond butter sauce)... move along people, nothing to see here.

Password reset questions dead easy to guess

Oh crap!

I thought I was the only one to lie when answering those questions. Now everyone will know that chipotle mousse is my favorite color.

Jesus Phone to exhibit holy gift of bilocation

Yes but

Who holds the patent to multitasking on a phone? I was told by a burning bush, ok so it was some obnoxious lady with a rash that if apple ships a multitasking iphone it will swiftly be sued in Texas.

Paris... her bush burned out a long time ago.

Cisco 'forever changes internet' with... a router

CRS-2

IIRC, that's textish (textian, textese, whatever) for "can't remember shit too".

Intel investigates after retailer sold fake CPUs

Oh no!

Please tell me my celeron 430 processor is safe!

Why yes a copy of Live Cheap & Free is in the pocket, how did you know?

Toshiba prices up Blu-ray Disc patent portfolio

Too true

The writing is on the wall and the niche for discs is going to be small. Companies like Netflix are preparing for the transition and the last holdouts are going to be in those few loosely connected spaces, which are getting fewer every day. Sure, there will always be the video/game vending/rental machine at the front of the supermarket for that last minute impulse but what else is left? Physical media is fading fast and the last standing are hdd and flash drives, with the latter fast becoming king of the hill given its versatility. The trend seems clear, first floppys died, then CDs and soon DVDs will follow. Will BD be still born? Perhaps. Where do BD hold a competitive advantage? Right now, simple DVDs are half or less the price, by gigabyte, of BD. Not much compelling there and raising the price of a BD by about the price of a DVD doesn't help.

It seems pretty clear, if you're putting out a fire, do you want a bigger bucket or a fire hose?

Microsoft's dual-screen booklet shows 'face' on web

Yes please

If they can pull off something like that and it isn't digitally restricted, I dare say the temptation might even get a tightwad like me to part with some coin. What's that, you say it starts at 500 clams for the feeble version? Hmm, perhaps not.

Microsoft sends flowers to IE6 funeral

Gubbermint to the rescue

With so many govt. offices on both sides of the pond using, even mandating, IE6, can it ever really die? Perhaps the U[S,K] governments should adopt a new motto, something along the lines of "Saved by Stubbornness, Superciliousness and Stupidity" seems apt.

Forget SETI, this is how you find aliens: Hefty prof speaks

@Torben Morgensen

"These objects orbit the star in different orbits, so they would be in free fall. Any gravity would be from the surface of each object to its centre of mass. Alternatively, you can use rotation to emulate gravity."

If they are in different orbits, they have different periods and would therefore not block light except on those rare and special occasions when everything just so happened to line up.

And?

"so large a multitude of objects orbiting the star that no visible light would escape".

From a gravitational standpoint, that would be different from a single continuous sphere how?

SeaWorld killer killer whale must die, Bible insists

Snach?

I haven't seen the movie, do they mention trichinosis? I imagine the understanding of cooking by ancient folk wasn't quite up to par with today and rare pork was more common. I also think the quoted passage was more in reference to the potential for the ox to be diseased eg. mad cow or similar. Such diseases would likely have been seen as demonic possession or other related evil and historical tribal knowledge would likely have shown that eating the diseased meat was not conducive to good health. Basically, I think there are reasons for most of what appears in the bible, it's just that they didn't have a good grasp of the reasons and attributed most things to the good word, "Word Up!"

Men lie more in online dating - except about their weight

A prof, eh?

I presume this "national matchmaking service" was US based so the best he could surmise was that the stats reflect USian mating behavior. That is not to say that people are really different anywhere else, just that they might lie about different things. With this kind of bleeding edge research, he must have a PhD in Duh, hasn't read a resume or cv and, being from Kansas, never been to a singles bar.

Apple turns the flamethrower on Android

long ago

They were called phones of the future...

http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/upgrade/1279796.html

obscene gestures

"gesture, noun; a movement of part of the body, esp. a hand or the head, to express an idea or meaning"

I raise a finger in an upward motion to express an idea. If the idea is that I feel it is too dark in this room and the lights come on, is that a gesture based control covered by the patents? Surely the combination of gestures I perform at an ATM machine to unlock my bank account and withdraw cash money should be covered by the patent. Handwriting recognition is nothing more than gesture interpretation as is the old "rock and scroll" interface used on the itsy so many moons ago. We can only hope that patents covering the flipping of switches soon dies the ignoble death it deserves.

Again, I raise a finger in an upward motion to express an idea.

Global warming may be normal at this point in glacial cycle

Really?

"possibly at least..."

So maybe there could perhaps be a possibly estimated definite maximal as well! Eureka!?

The sad reality

Governments don't change habits, prices, taxes and fines do.

Microsoft: Oracle will take us back to 1970s hell

Let me get this straight

This guy looks at what Oracle is doing, shakes his head and thinks; 'Oh golly, poor Oracle, they are doing it all wrong and are going to be in a world of hurt'. What a swell guy, worrying about his competitors well-being like that. If he really believed it himself would he not be busy sniggering all the way to the bank? To paraphrase the Bard, methinks he doth protest too much.

MS uses court order to take out Waledac botnet

Wouldn't help

They will get none of the email coming from their own factories. Wouldn't get much done that way. I've got two words for you, 'global' 'economy'.

Yes but

Sadly MS still provide the option to turn UAC off entirely.

Gmail Labs' experiments: What's in, what's out?

Muzzle!?!

I've been searching for just such a thing. Please, oh please, tell me it will be added to Twidder, Fasebooch and the rest of Web2dotOh!

Hero corduroy overpowers US school gunman

.30-06 bolt gun actually

According to the Denver Post, Bruco stole his father's hunting rifle, which is indeed a bolt action rifle in .30-06. That also explains why the mass media hasn't started the 24 hour, nonstop, nausea inducing, coverage. It would be so much more sensational if; he, a man with a long history of violence and mental instability, purchased a full auto AK-105 from slain Hamas commander Mahmoud al-Mabhouh just days prior to (somehow "prior to" is so much flashier than "before", don't you think) the attack in the basement of the local Filene's... OMG!!!

That said, the man was a few cans shy of a six pack and perhaps he thought his hands were more accurate. After all, reports are that he was close enough to speak to the kids just before letting the rounds go and he hits one in the arm and another in the leg... not exactly Ed McGivern, this one but I suppose the kids wisely didn't sit still as he shouldered the gun.

Sooo close.

You only missed by one as you are thinking of the Third Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.

"No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_Amendment_to_the_United_States_Constitution

"The Founding Fathers' intention in writing this amendment was to prevent the recurrence of soldiers being quartered in private property as was done in Colonial America by the British military under the Quartering Act before the American Revolution (1775–1776)."

Nice try tho, but "no soup for you!"

First rule?

"never point the weapon at something you aren't prepared to kill."

Really? I've never been prepared to kill paper targets, tin cans, clay pigeons, etc. yet I've pointed weapons at many of them. I could believe "aren't prepared to shoot" but kill... I think that is just the sensational version made for headlines. Also, as I learned it, it was "Keep the weapon pointed in a safe direction". You can see it here; http://www.nrahq.org/education/guide.asp

@Magnus_Pym

"As a UK citizen I could perhaps feel safer having a gun however I would feel much less safe knowing my neighbours all have guns."

Somehow that makes for a very odd statement. And it appears you must have real gits or loons for neighbours. Presumably you would also not accept a neighbours invitation for dinner or an ale lest it be poisoned. It must be difficult indeed to walk past their door knowing that at any moment they could spring from behind it with knives, spears or any odd weaponry. Is it easy to sleep with the knowledge they could slip in under cover of night with a ready garrote in hand?

Silly, I know but inasmuch as they could be armed to the teeth without your knowledge, is it really better not knowing they all have guns?

60 million Americans don't use the interwebs

Sorry

I call bullshit on the 28" TV for under $100. Being a skinflint, in 2005 I searched high and low for the cheapest 25 inch (analog of course) set to replace my recently dead 13 incher. I wound up having to spend over $200 for what would now be a nice brick save for the graces of basic cable at $15/mo. I'll add that all sets sold in the US three years ago were DTV ready.

That said, you are spot on on everything else.

It's easy

First you have to understand that this was a telephone survey. So in reality the best the statistics can hope for is to represent "interesting" people defined as those who own a phone and are listed on some database, which roughly translates to people listed in the white pages. Needless to say, folks too poor to be "interesting", too impatient to bother answering or otherwise "not normal" don't get counted.

Perhaps I'm blessed but in the last eight or so years since I dropped my land line I have never received a survey call whereas I was sure to get at least one every year beforehand.

Keeping up appearances

"AT&T appear incapable"

Perhaps it's the reality and not just an appearance.

Google profits from UK.gov's climate change quango rivalry

Oh...

I read that as guano on the first pass... oddly enough it still reads the same.

Wal-Mart buys internet TV biz

Re: Bootnote

And thus spake world+dog, the common name shalt be Wally World. "you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?" http://www.google.com/search?q=wally+world&btnI

Rom-coms, period dramas are rubbish: Mathematical proof

Interesting plod^Ht twist

"We would call for some kind of chaos-theory rating system to be instituted, backed up by a robust policy"

That would be roughly opposite the governments chaotic policy making as currently instituted then.

TV sales bounce back

Official, Recession Over!

Government officials have declared the recession to be over due to the increased sales of tellies. One source, Secretary to the Shopping Center General of the Department of Stores, Anony Mouse said; "This is the surest sign of the end of the recession that we have seen as of yet. People are out there buying TVs, which are a luxury item, because of an increase in cash to burn and we in government certainly know what burnt cash looks like. It should be noted that this milestone was achieved in spite of the switch to digital TV in places like the US, Denmark and Norway. Additionally, this is proof that people have more leisure time indicating a higher standard of living and greater wages. In all, the proactive stance taken by this government during this most unique of recessions has not only successfully steered the economy out of oblivion by investing in the future, it has also provided not one clue toward how we will be paying for it tomorrow."

Apple iPhone tops 2009 smartphone sales

And... your point?

Why not include netbooks, ipads and anything else that can be a phone? Sure, it may not come via AT&T, T-mobile, et al. but so what, the whole point of a smartphone is to have a convergent device that blurs the line between phone and computer. The ipod touch has the same form factor as an iphone so perhaps the delimiter is GSM or 3G but add a MiFi and watch the world get a bit more grey.

The question is will it really be that long before there is something that you pick up easily at an airport kiosk or 7-11, sticks to your preferred mobile UI device and supplies the desired connection. It could be something like a sim card but one that extends the radio to cover the local government's choice of protocol and frequency.

Web2.0rhea means ‘higher insurance premiums’

LOL

That is all.

iPad pitch to the Wall Street Journal laid bare

Funny

Apple also has a history of creating the obsolete ports it walks away from. ADB anyone? At least their latest usb connector has balls! Don't believe me, here's the first and last bits of the abstract to US patent 7641498.

"A Universal Serial Bus socket-equipped arrangement (USB-SEA) configured for mating with a Universal Serial Bus (USB) plug having a plug metal housing and an aperture disposed in the plug metal housing... The spring-loaded mechanism represents one of a spring-loaded ball and a spring-loaded pin."

US school comes out fighting over webcam spy claim

Easy fix

Gaffer tape to the rescue once again.

Google Energy gets OK

My thought exactly

I can clearly show that I own neither transmission or generation facilities, so why can't I be licensed? Besides not having enough "grease" for the proper palm, I mean.

Perhaps the rational is that traders aren't be allowed to have the ability to grossly influence the market in pseudo-monopoly fashion? I wonder if pork traders are allowed to own railroads or pigs or butter churns... hmm, a bacon butty sounds good right about now.

Google buys app, removes from app store

Easy answer

It's because most companies have an IP clause in the employment contract. It reads something like this: "All your IP are belong to us". I once worked for a medical device company whose contract was so tight I had to ask permission to do simple things like work on open source software or write a kid's book all on my own time. Unfortunately, the process to get permission lasted longer than my interest, oddly enough it also lasted longer than my employment there, which was about another 3 years.

"IT?" because it's as close as I can get to "IP!"

Apple opens the iPhone to lotteries

In related news

Steve Jobs, the cunning Cupertino crackerjack, is at the center of a wirelesstap investigation into iGambling! Get the full story on your 11 o'clock news!

Ex-Army man cracks popular security chip

Just wondering

Did Apple do the same thing in the iPad's A4 proc?

Small firms say UK taxes are strangling growth

Who are you kidding?

The general public pays it anyway. It isn't like the costs don't get passed on to the buyer leaving them with "less money to spend" which is one reason why demand goes down when prices go up. Look up "deadweight loss" as it pertains to economics and you'll see that taxes mean less for business and less for the consumer. The only "winner" is government.

Scots unleash world's strongest beer

Dear BrewDog

So what is it? Ale or beer. It's called a beer in one paragraph and an IPA in the next. IPA is ale and ale != beer. Where do your yeast live, up top or down under?

As to how it's done, they state "frozen four times to create at a staggering 41% ABV". So in essence it's freeze distilled or more accurately recrystallized to get the ABV that high. That also explains the price and also means you can likely do this at home* starting with about 10 bottles of stock for every one bottle you want to make. Other ferment only products can use one of the various "turbo" or champagne yeasts to reach near 17-18%. So there you have it, don't sweat the bubbles it's likely quite flat already.

*IANAL but it is likely that this could get you thrown in the pokey since gubbermint frowns on people who concentrate alcohol without paying the appropriate royalties to the tax man.

US sorority girls in booze-fuelled orgy of violence

Must be

behind the beaded curtain at the movie rental house. I imagine it's right ahead of "Behind the Green Door" as you go down the shelf... Unless they list movies like books, alphabetically by author or some such nonsense.

Putting an iPad through the Motions

Never see it

You'll never see a BSOD or an iPad running on a critical system in a hospital. Sure they might be using it on their data terminals but it'll never run on something that is life or death critical where fail operative and/or triple redundancy is the norm.

Chips make you chipper: Official

what kind of chips?

I'm quite fond of plantain chips, apple chips and even jack fruit chips just to name a few. Now then, just be clear, are we talking of chips, fries or crisps and on which side of the Atlantic? Ah, forget it and pass the bacon!

Spanish city shuns Brit 'Saga louts'

Señor Bermúdez

He is quite right. Just have a look at what's happened to the U.S. and Oz! The drunkards arrived, lost their way home and now they've practically overrun the place.

UK universities being broken by border control measures

Brilliant!

It's good to see the UK complimenting the US effort of establishing teaching centers all over the world. Soon our legacy of encouraging education in the remotest parts of the world will bear the fruit of these fine policies and we shall reap the rewards.

Foreign objects in orifices a bigger killer than laptops

I'm sorry

Are any of these "cordless drills and other power tools... followed by flashlights" related to these "Foreign body entering through skin or natural orifice"? What about the bees, hornets and other miscellaneous bugs? I just want to make sure we're keeping the accounting straight and not double dipping as it were. After all, I had an aunt who died with a bug up her <cough>... well, let's just say causation wasn't proved.

If I'm in Paris, do I count as a foreign body?

Agreed

Worse, I can't imagine a reason to bring a canister of gasoline on an airplane. What are the possibilities; "I'm not paying the ridiculous fuel prices the car rental place", "Yeah, that's just a bit extra in case we run a bit low mid-filght", "What? This isn't what you meant by fuel surcharge"... nope, I just don't see it, unless they brought their motorcycle too...

Big Blue boffins hatch dirt-cheap solar cells

@Adrian Miller

Thanks for that, I'll grab it now. Here's hoping these things are cheap as chips (npi).