* Posts by Lottie

701 publicly visible posts • joined 28 Nov 2008


Brit game devs WILL get tax relief for, er, EastEnders Game and Legend of Slough


World of Warcraft

Wrath of the Lichfield King

Woman whipped gun from vagina in SPACE ALIEN spat, reports Officer Zook


Well it *is* sometimes pronounced "Heckler and cock"....

iOS motion control iRing here at last ... but it's NOT made by Apple



Looks a bit annoying in that it's not a ring, but I can see how this would work quite well with performing DJs/ live mixers. Especially in those colours.

Now what would be really cool would be a DMX controller! With the SDK being free, I'm sure it won't be too long before we get one.

Android will ship more than ONE BILLION mobes+slabs in 2014


So tyre manufacturers will shift more production resources to sizes typically used by Kia.

Knowing what is selling/ most popular is kind of important for any industry that relies on integrating their product in to a system already used by the customer.

UNREAL, dude: Nvidia uncloaks Tegra K1 graphics monster for your mobile ... and CAR



This is either going to be something awesome -like full on AR immersive sat nav with the arrows appearing on the windscreen and suchlike- or the most over specc'd media control hub in the world.

The big question is: Can it play (oil) Crysis?

Coca Cola slurps millions of MAC addresses



Maybe it's something to do with Coca Cola internet and electricity supplies?


Guinness gives games geek world record for 10,607 piece collection


Re: says

At $3K per year, thats just under $9 per game.

Assuming he isn't buying games for brand new consoles all the time, you can pick up a lot of second user, formerly crazy expensive, last generation media for about that price on ebay.

BT tweaks WORDING of sex-ed web block after complaints


Re: Sex education

"it is going to happen one way or another"

Exactly! If a kid is interested, they'll find it somehow. Be that on t'interweb or from the discarded Fiesta in the bushes or from a friend finding their parents "adult drawer" and inviting folk round for a viewing of the videos.

The difference is, that with all sex education blocked, you end up with kids learning the -for want of a better phrase- ins and outs of it all from the fantasies on the letters page.

Winklevoss: I have put my MOUTH where my MONEY IS


The difference between a futurist and a futurologist

I always thought that Futurologists were like Hari Seldon and futurists were like Kevin Warrick at his worst.

One makes scientific predictions and tries to use less assumptions/ more data to predict likelihoods with timescales, whilst the other churns out very nebulous statements based on popular trends and full of gaps in technology progression.

Futurologist = "By the end of $decade, we will likely have a variation on $theory to enable a system of global communication. Likely candidates for the tech used will be $tech. This could be exciting"

Futurist = "in the future, we will have the ability to communicate with the rest of the world and it'll be awesome, but I have no real details. That's small stuff."

Code-busters lift RSA keys simply by listening to the noises a computer makes



If they used a microphone and the computers in my office to test this out, they'd come away thing "forfuxachehurryup" was part of every single key.

Feminist Software Foundation gets grumpy with GitHub … or does it?


Assuming there was total parity and an end to any issues regarding gender int he UK, an intersctionalist would still fight for global equality. The idea that in the UK things are fine (which is another argument all together, but there are massive issues regarding gender inequality, 21st century britain) then the battle is won and feminism should go away is akin to saying that worrying about clean water in the rest of the world is pointless as we have it here.


Re: Satire

I agree. I figured it was very much tongue in cheek* and playing** on the more outlandish stereotypes*** of feminist theory.

*which isn't to devalue the contribution of those with neither tongues or cheeks. Solidarity with oral differenced peoples!

**this isnt a dig at anyone without the ability to play games. Solidarity with our non imaginitive sisters!

***Stereo- or left/ right is a binary outlook. Solidarity with all shades of the spacial aural spectrum!

Sega’s Out Run: Even better than the wheel thing


Such memories.....

Outrun and Afterburner in their big cabinets took all of my holiday money one year.

The Master System version was obviously no arcade port, but I loved it all the same. Crashes really showed up the limitations though, what with vanishing sprites and the such.

Big goolies-grabbing black snake nips unlucky bloke's trouser snake


Re: Spoilsport though I know I'm being...

The snake bit Inches from his Testicles?

Boffins: On my command, unleash REMOTE CONTROL BULL SPERM


What a load of wank...


But on a serious thought, this is a very interesting idea. Why build tiny machines to do in-body stuff when nature already provides the perfect drivetrain?

Of course, there's a bit of an ick factor in it all, but once you get past that, it's a superb idea.

Smarty Ring promises technology at your fingertips


....notify if you’ve pocket dialled someone

If it ever gets built, this will be the killer app. Especially for PAYG customers.

Although this does have the feel of vapourware (vapourwear?) about it.

Los Angeles' weather is just like Mordor, says Brit climate prof


Obviously someone who loves their work!

I think this is pretty neat really and I'm a little envious. Imagine having a job that you loved so much that you'd be happy -and allowed- to do something like this in your own time?

How UK air traffic control system was caught asleep on the job


Re:...Obviously not enough redundancy ...

"Oh, the fools! If only they'd built it with 6000 and one hulls!"


Microsoft: Don't listen to 4chan ... especially the bit about bricking Xbox Ones


Re: I genuinely do not understand...

I agree with you on this one as it doesn't seem to have any obvious flaw and really, if you have both consoles, you're obviously going to try something that means much less hassle to swap games around.

I would genuinely like to hear the motivation behind the creator of this.

The "iOS7 makes your phone waterproof" thing I have less sympathy -that isn't to say "none", though -with folk over as the big warning/ nonsense that the OS affecting the hardwares physical properties.

UK.gov declares digital success as PR, food shops redefined as 'tech' businesses


Tech city UK?

Oh do fuck off!

Of all the lame "hey, whatever it is, that's what we're down with" branding bollocks, this has to be the worst..... Even UK-PLC was less annoying and desperate sounding.

My hairstylist has a website and uses a computer for inventory and wages. Does that make mop chopping a tech industry too?

Brit inventors' GRAVITY POWERED LIGHT ships out after just 1 year


An interesting platform

I guess as a prototype and proof of concept this is great, but it will surely need a little more oomph to be practical?

I wonder if this could be used during the day to charge batteries so that in the evening the lights can use the stored power?

Outside of the overseas application, this would be great as a kids nighlight that is easy to use whilst also being passively educational.

Lightning strikes USB bosses: Next-gen jacks will be REVERSIBLE


Re: Calm down...

Shows what they get for thinking people might stop and flip the plug over if it doesn't want to go in...

It's to stop the "flip it over" problem that USB connectors seem to magic upon themselves - Cable won't go in - Flip it over - won't go in - flip it over - goes in.

Best budget Android smartphone there is? Must be the Moto G


I'm impressed

I haven't used Motorolla since I had a brick with a pull out areial and keypad flap back in the late 1990s. This may tempt me back.

This is serious tech for them money, which means either the others are selling at crazy inflated prices or the margins ont he moto are razor (RAZR?) thin/ it's a loss leader.

Either way, that's another for the list of potentials for replacements for my rapidly approcahing upgrade.

Swollen Reg reader recounts FALSE WIDOW spider HORROR


Re: sounds like our legendary white tailed spider

"Oz, great country with many great horrors"

I heard a rumour, -it may have been an urban legend- that there was an animal in Australia that wasn't incredibly scary and likely to enslave humanity.

Microsoft bans XXXXBOX gamers for CURSING in online combat


Re: Technology?

Oh god, can you imagine how soul destroying that job would be? 8 hours a day of listening to shouty xbox live feeds?

I hope they have recognition software.

'Best known female architect' angrily defends gigantic vagina


Re: No idea

The gender of the architect had no bearing on what I thought the design looked like. Until this article, I had no idea if the person in question was male or female.

If something looks like a foo, it looks like a foo regardless of the designers ownership of biological inspiration.

I doubt that had it been designed by a man -as one or two commentors have already suggested- the comparrison would have been any different.


No idea

I had no idea that the architect was female. I *do* however think that it looks like a giant vag.

All that aside, it gives an update and a refresh to a classic insult......" It's like throwing a sausage into the Qatati stadium"

Reg man inhales the smooth, non-cancerous, taste of USB nicotine


Re: halo cigarettes

Strikes me that the "breathing stuff in" and vapour thing makes sense. There's lot of things associated with any habitual activity. Most smokers that are giving up cite the habitual activities as being very difficult to overcome and it makes sense that the brathing in and exhalation mouth/ throat feel would be an aspect.

Doctor Who: From Edwardian grump to Malcolm Tucker and back again


Re: See also "The Valeyard"

This is very much what I am hoping for.

Lead ONTO your pencil: Bill Gates pours cash into graphene condoms


Re: A much cheaper method

Because no-one has ever caught an STD that way.....

BAD ALTITUDE: The highs and lows of Doctor Who


Is this a series of articles

or an extended advert for the authors book?

From Dept of REALLY? Sueball lobbed at Apple over crap iOS Maps app


Re: I'm fairly sure...

Just out of curiosity, how can the opinion of police officers in Australia set legal precedent in the US where the case is being heard? Even if it were to be heard in Australia, how does a police depts opinion affect statutes in such a way to set legal precedent?

I can't really comment on the legal difference between "acceptable" and "chelmsford" though.

My comment about the usual "may not be accurate" disclaimer was more along the lines of: Given the black/ white nature of things, if there has already been a warning that the data may not be accurate/ cannot be relied on 100% then it'll be much more difficult to claim that even when knowing that it wasn't accurate you acted as though you believed it to be so.

I hadn't realized it needed spelling out, my bad.

I totally agree that a massive flaw in a safety critical system is life threatening. However, I suppose the idea that using sat-nav on a mobile as a safety critical device stretches things a bit.

I also agree that the issue with the maps was disasterously bad and that Apple should have allowed returns and refunds when requested, but thats really the only part of the case I agree with.

To use your analogy fo the car with 8 gears, if they said "you can either return it or keep using it until the gearbox update, your choice" and you chose to keep it, then you have nowt to complain about. Although, Apple *should* have allowed returns.

You seem *really* angry.


I'm fairly sure...

.... that most maps/ sat nav apps have a small "may not be totally accurate" type of disclaimer as part of their T&Cs.

I tend to use my phone as a twat-nav when I'm driving in unfamiliar cities, so I can see why she may be pretty pissed off, but I still doubt there's much of a case to answer. If there *is* a case to answer, I'm totally suing everyone that's ever given me wrong directions.....

Dry, cold and volatile: How to survive Mars, and your fellow crew


Re: Mental health

I dunno. Travelling to Mars and dying of old age/ whatever is a suicide trip, but I feel that it would be much cooler than waiting the same amount of time to die on Earth.

Yes, there are added dangers in the journey and hostile environemnt, but offsetting that is the removal of earth based problems like motorways and facebook-instead-of-concentrating truck drivers.

Qatar whips covers off giant footballing vagina



I'm guessing a quick repackaging and one could sell "authentic replica" cememorative fleshlights?

3D printing: 'Third industrial revolution' or a load of old cobblers?


Re: Right now I can see only specialist application

Sandman, I totally agree. I reckon the 3d printer will be a common tool in the garage when folk realize that it can be used to make those annoying, easily breakable/ losable plastic bits that *every* modern product seems to have that no-one sells the replacements for.

Delia and the Doctor: How to cook up a tune for a Time Lord


Great article

The original tune is a triumph of lateral thought, electronic "what if"-ery and passion.

Sometimes, in the world of VSTs and modeling hardware, we forget how difficult it must have been and how much work went in to making the basics that made the instruments that made the music.

As an aside -although slightly linked as they both brought electronic music to the masses, any chance of an article on Wendy Carlos' work/ wizardry?

Company selling you out? You've been TUPE-ed


I was TUPEd too


Everyone transfered over, got to keep our desks, phones and building and everything looked the same. Changingt he templates and headed paper weren't a problem, but then we realized that we weren't wanted there, the dept entered a rolling redundancy phase. We would come in weekly and check to see if we were in the "justify your job or GTFO" tranche. Many of whome couldn't justify the crazy requirements and those that weren't at risk started getting massive downgrades -some the equivalent of 2 council grades.

Worst of all, the previously free coffee supply was stopped!!!

I jumped as soon as I could.

PlayStation 4 a doddle to fix: Handy if it OVERHEATS, for instance


I did

My first PS2 came to me from a friend who'd bought a new one after theirs developed the disk read fault.

One replaced laser carriage later and I had a working PS2. It's all well and good saying "but they have waranties" and so on, but for those of us who are constantly playing catchup, knowing the common faults -and how to repair them - is essential.

Tales from an expert witness: Lasers, guns and singing Santas


"I could write a book about these stories, and it wouldn’t be fiction."

I would probably buy that book.

Although, there are a few manufacturers (including BMW who make the mini) that sell transmissions in Europe with synchro on their reverse gears.

Whovians, your Doctor needs you: Take back the Day from One Direction


Looks to me

... as though some whovians are acting just like the dreaded Directioners here.

It's not as if the releas party thing is going to knock any who celebrations off the internet or telly or stop people celebrating is it?

LOHAN sees bright red over Vulture 2 paintjob



.... "I'm just off to buff my spaceplane" isn't an euphamism? I'm shocked :-)

Microsoft's EAT-your-OWN-YOUNG management system AXED


Re: just curious then .....

It won't stop cronyism, but hopefully it can stop the forced curve fitting whereby other employees performance negatively impacts the others just to fit the curve.

PC rivals weep while Lenovo dazzles with Q2 box-shifting numbers


Re: Phones

Me being unobservant then :-)

To be honest, I've only really been looking at the phones that my carrier stocks. Maybe it's time to go down the "buy my own phone and get a sim only contract" route.

Assuming, of course, that they're as robust as their laptops seem to be.



I keep hearing about Lenovo phones.

Do they not sell them in the UK or have I just been really unobservant?

Alleged Peeping Tom claims First Amendment right to upskirt


Re: Consent on both sides?

What would happen if the lady in question had a unique piece of jewelry or tattoo in their nether regions? That would be enough to identify them (at least to anyone else who has seen them naked) so would a release form be necessary?

Surely, though, if something is *inside your clothes* it's private and not a public space?

I'll be interested to see the outcome here, they have the opportunity to really fuck up or to make a very good point....

Apple iPhone factory workers imprisoned in virtual slavery – report


So what can be done?

Aside from the "HA!!! Your fave brand of shiney beads was mentioned.... YOU'RE AS GUILTY AS HITLER" shoutybollocks, what can actually be done?

That's not a rhetorical question. What can we actually do to ensure that our gadgety goodness is as ethical as possible? I know that food has its fair trade certifications and clothing firms make a big deal of whatever ethical sourcing they go through, so is there a recognised ethical electronics mark? I suspect that no company is a saint and somewhere along the line exploitation occurs, but being able to buy products that damage the fewest folk would be nice.

Deezer unveils tarted-up music-streaming service after $130m injection


Re: Lossless downloads

The only answer to needing a subscription based service is when they do sugestions based on stuff you already like.

As for your prediction of the future... it's all too feasible and that upsets me.

Big Beardie's watching: Alan Sugar robots spy on Tesco petrol queue


Is it still a breach if it doesn't store any data or display any personal identifiers?

Targeted advertising is a pain in the ass, but the targeting here is merely to age range and gender.


Semantics of the phrase "facial recognition"

All the anger and fear seems to come down to the phrase "facial recognition". The beeb were particularly bad at their reporting and le reg not too far behind.

The facial recognition here seems more akin to that used by digital cameras that recognise a face when in "auto exposure" mode, than the system used to identify a person by recognising their face.

Recognising the face, not recognising and identifying a person through looking at their face.

The process seems to be (after reading their spec sheets):

Camera sees person or persons approaching.

Camera recognises where their face is supposed to be, software uses a fuzzy logic algorithm with lots of weighting factors (which the beeb dumbed down to "uses length of hair to determine gender") to decide gender and approx age.

The set of adverts designed for {Gender} and {Age} is shown on a screen. No "Hey, Dave smith!! You need to buy a shoe!!", just generic adverts, but ones that best suit the demographic of the folk heading towards the tills.

System records "{Advert type} {Gender}, {Age}, {# of faces pointed at screen} during display.

No other data stored so the system "forgets" what it last saw.


Bad journalism spins story as "cameras recognise *your* face and advertise directly to *you*. This is big brother!!!eleventyone

Folk scream, panic and say how bad it is whilst ignoring the multiple CCTV cameras inside and outside the store, the data they give over on their cards, personal info they heamorrage on social media and so on, all of which is full of personally identifiable markers and *is* stored.

Privacy bods make a big noise about something that *would* be an issue if it were actually happening, which it isn't.

Plus, it's amstrad. It'll be fucked within a week.