* Posts by Martin Budden

2493 publicly visible posts • joined 27 Apr 2007

First low-frequency fast radio burst to grace our skies detected at last

Martin Budden

Remember FMBs?

They turned out to be someone heating up their lunch and opening the microwave door while it was still on.

This is probably something similarly mundane.

The Solar System's oldest minerals reveal the Sun's violent past

Martin Budden

Re: Unclaimed accuracy

This kind of thing really gives me the shits. I almost expect it from tabloids, but The Register should know better.

All that dust on Mars is coming from one weird giant alien structure

Martin Budden

@Steve K

I have small kids, and the extension cord often gets tangled around my son.


Alien sun has smashing time sucking up planets

Martin Budden

Re: I think this star

"consume tide pods"

Fairly accurate description of what's happening. Tidal forces, and all that.

Martin Budden

Re: what happens to planetary material sucked into stars

"The solar system consists of the Sun, Jupiter and assorted debris"

And it's a binary system, what with the barycentre being somewhere between the two.

By Jove! Astroboffins spot 12 new spanking moons around Jupiter

Martin Budden

Re: What is a moon ?

Worse still, the IAU definition only allows planets orbiting our Sun, not those orbiting other stars. Bunch of numptys if you ask me.

Spidey sense is literally tingling! Arachnids detect Earth's electric field, use it to fly away

Martin Budden

Possibly because there's no feed at the other side *at certain times of year* ?

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it a giant alien space cigar? Whatever it is, boffins are baffled

Martin Budden

Re: Rama

Number one would be a stream of droplets.

This is clearly a number two (see the Poop discussion above).

I hope I'm not still around when number three arrives!

NASA eggheads draw up blueprints for spotting, surviving asteroid hits

Martin Budden

Build a wall around Earth

and make the asteroids pay for it.

Martin Budden

Re: Border patrol

The thing about crossing the border illegally is this: it's actually NOT illegal to cross a border when seeking asylum. This means the arrests and imprisonments are themselves illegal acts, and so are the separations.

Solar winds will help ESA probe smell what Mercury's cookin'

Martin Budden

In space, no-one can hear you screaming into the Sun.

Astroboffins trace mysterious noise from hard rock in space

Martin Budden

Um, it's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with a girl who saw radiation pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.

Four hydrogen + eight caesium clocks = one almost-proven Einstein theory

Martin Budden

Re: The article doesn't quite make sense

The Earth IS accelerating towards the sun, at about 0.0059 m/s². The earth is also moving sideways fast enough that even though it is accelerating towards the sun it doesn't get any closer to the sun. That's what an orbit is: moving sideways fast enough to cancel out falling.

Martin Budden

Re: Time flows backwards...

Be careful when giving petrol to a dog...

lest it goes "woof"!

SpaceX flings SES-12 satellite into orbit, but would-be lunar tourists should probably unpack

Martin Budden

Re: It's 2018...

*everyone* is still using Soyuz ;-)

Russian battery ambitions see a 10x increase in power from smaller, denser nukes

Martin Budden

Re: And the weather is not very nice either

"the latter does not presently exist"

Maybe try Canada or New Zealand?

Meet the real spin doctors: Scientists tell H2O to chill out so they can separate isomers

Martin Budden

Re: Deuterium-free Parafresh or Orthofresh

Whichever is preferred by brewer's yeast.

Router admin? Bored? Let's play Battleships using BGP!

Martin Budden

The chance of "integer" is somewhere between 0 and 1.


EmDrive? More like BS drive: Physics-defying space engine flunks out

Martin Budden

There's a reason these things don't work.

Cold fusion, faster-than-light neutrinos, EmDrives...

Ye cannae break the laws of physics!

Next on the chopping block (hopefully): spooky action at a distance.

NASA will send tiny helicopter to Mars

Martin Budden

Re: And of course the sky crane they used for landing

I don't think rocketing is the same as flying. Semantics, yes, but everyone loves a pedant here at El Reg ;-)

Martin Budden


I was expecting menacing killer robots with huge frikkin' lasers from the music in that vid. But no, just a cute little whirlychopper.

First SpaceX Falcon 9 Block 5 rocket lobs comms sat into orbit

Martin Budden

Re: 190,000lb of thrust?

The reason for the width has something to do with horse's arses:


ESA's all-seeing space eye captures momentary sunshine over Britain

Martin Budden

Sunshine in Britain?

Pics or it didn't... oh.

Elon Musk's mighty erection fires sperm at orbiting space station

Martin Budden

Re: There is an easier and cheaper way of getting a usable sample.

This thread is about bulls, not donkeys.

Out of curiosity, what would you laugh it off of?

SpaceX blasted massive plasma hole in Earth's ionosphere

Martin Budden

"I've always thought that the best approach would be to float something up to the edge of the atmosphere then have a much smaller rocket blast to get it out into space."

What a load of ballockets!

p.s. also known as rockoons, but that doesn't sound nearly as funny.

Oh bucket! Unpack the suitcases. TRAPPIST-1 planets too wet to support life

Martin Budden

They weren't human-habitable anyway.

Not massive enough to hold an atmosphere, most likely tidally locked... so what if there's surplus water? Just being in the so-called goldilocks zone isn't enough.

China to offer recoverable satellites-as-a-service

Martin Budden

Re: Digestive biscuits are surprisingly fireproof

Forget the tea, pair the giant Digestive with a nice wheel of cheese. SpaceX has some experience there.

Are you Falcon sure, Elon? Musk vows Big Rocket will go up 2019

Martin Budden

Re: Spring is coming @ Pascal Monett

Not round these parts it isn't: it's autumn here.

(That's the least important mistake in your post)

ESA builds air-breathing engine that works in space

Martin Budden


So technically it will be an aircraft flying at very very high altitude, not a satellite in orbit. Right?

New algorithm could help self-driving cars scout out hidden objects

Martin Budden

Going underground

Looks more useful for scanning caves, ancient tombs etc.

Martin Budden

Re: Could I have a little privacy please?

Garibaldis wouldn't be the same without that rabbit.

Half the world warned 'Chinese space station will fall on you'

Martin Budden

Finders Keepers

If a chunk lands in my veggie patch, can I sell it?

Martin Budden

Which came first, the Chicken Licken or the chieftain?

It's ALIIIIIVE: Boffins detect slow-moving zombie star

Martin Budden

Re: Terra Fritata

Yes but what's that got to do with eggs? Has post-pub nosh become synonymous with post-planetary-death nosh? It can certainly feel that way the following morning.

Inviting nearby exoplanet revealed as radiation-baked hell

Martin Budden

Re: Plane of the flares?

And the other problem with red dwarfs' close-in goldilocks zones is tidal locking, which also makes any planets rather unpleasant (on the other hand the dark side would be shielded from the worst of the flares).

Hubble Space Telescope one of 16 suffering data-scrambling sensor error

Martin Budden

Re: A Question must be asked !!!

p.p.s unwarranted trollism posted that comment using microchips invented by scientists. Just sayin'.

Martin Budden

Re: A Question must be asked !!!

Not even science is perfect... although the physics studied by scientists *IS* perfect, and the more they study physics the closer they get to knowing how it works. That's science. And thanks to scientists discovering this error, we just got another bit closer.

p.s. not just physics, obviously. Science is great for working out other stuff too.

SpaceX's internet satellites to beam down 'Hello world' from orbit

Martin Budden

How long will they stay up?

Low earth orbits tend to degrade because there's still a trace of atmosphere. That's a lot of satellites to replace every few years.

Martin Budden

Re: Parachutes

I assume you'd use a small drogue to slow it down, then maybe a larger drogue if needed, before deploying the main parachute.

Amateur astronomer strikes it lucky with first glimpse of a Supernova

Martin Budden

A flash in the pan

Mr Buso has had his moment in the spotlight, and will likely fade into obscurity. Stardom is fleeting.

Opportunity knocked? Rover survives Martian winter, may not survive budget cuts

Martin Budden

Re: Fly me to the moon @ Chris G

You misspelled Big Fucking Rocket.

MY GOD, IT'S FULL OF CARS: SpaceX parks a Tesla in orbit (just don't mention the barge)

Martin Budden

Re: Academics

He's running a business. Marketing is required.

Martin Budden

Exactly how much cheering would you allow?

BOFH: Buttock And Departmental Defence ... As A Service

Martin Budden

Re: Well the smoking gang...

"An umbrella, having no walls, definitely counts as outdoors"

Definitely is a strong word. What about an umbrella in a two-walled hut?

While we're at it, what about a one-walled hut inside a one-walled hut: does that add up to the two walls required to classify it as indoors??

Can we even be indoors without doors???

What do we want? Consensual fun times. How do we get it? Via an app with blockchain...

Martin Budden

Re: What kind of sick f**k

I can't stand tea. Or coffee.

I'm drinking beer right now.

576-megapixel 'Zwicky Transient Facility' telescope sees first light

Martin Budden

More please

We need another one for the southern hemisphere to help find incoming asteroids, because I really don't fancy another Chicxulub any time soon.

Oh yeah, and we also need a way to deflect it once we've spotted it.

Teensy weensy space shuttle flies and lands

Martin Budden

Re: Space fighter, or at least a toy for the very rich

@Mystic Megabyte


Martin Budden

Re: How many flights? @ Aladdin Sane

I have a signed autobiography of Winkle Brown, it is a fascinating read. He was truly amazing.

Health quango: Booze 'evidence' not Puritan enough, do us another

Martin Budden

Dear Politicians,

Kindly stay the fuck out of science.



Boffins trapped antiprotons for days, still can't say why they survived the Big Bang

Martin Budden

simple answer

When the Big Bang happened all the matter went *this* way and all the antimatter went *that* way. It's a universe of two halves, we just can't see far enough to see the other half.