* Posts by MadonnaC

99 publicly visible posts • joined 13 Nov 2008


There ain't no problem that can't be solved with the help of American horsepower – even yanking on a coax cable


Or, as it usually goes...

1. Turn off breaker

2. Dig flashlight out of toolbox (I know I should have done it sooner, but I had to wait for the kids to go to bed)

3. Unscrew light switch from mounting

4. Realise that green/red/back wires have been used interchangeably, and the black and white paper covered wires aren't going to be any help

5. Screw light switch back on, and turn breaker back on (optional search for why breaker will not stay on now)

6. Get quote for light switch removal

7. decide it's too much, and hit the switch to break off the lever so it's now difficult to move

8. Have one of these ->

Tech CEO thrown in the clink for seven years for H-1B gang-master role: Crim farmed out foreign staff as cheap labor


not really, he's got the wrong colour skin, and no equivalent friends that might have put a stop to it.

BOFH: What's the Gnasher? Why, it's our heavy-duty macerator sewage pump


Reminds me of my previous place of employment, which had (as of a year ago, last i checked) a 386, running OS Warp, which held the only version of an imaging software which they had to use to browse the older manuals/diagrams.

I had a look at the software, and found that it used some sort of index to a large blob file, where it would extract the appropriate picture. Not friendly, and not worth what they wanted to pay to get it out of there into a group of image files.

SpaceX didn't move sat out of impending smash doom because it 'didn't see ESA's messages'


With my expertise at turning right, by the time I figure out which way right is, I'll have solved all the satellite collision prevention routines by taking them out in a cascading failure

Divert the power to the shields. 'I'm givin' her all she's got, Captain!'


Re: Biodeisel is only 8% bio

sorry, it's not 20% of the worlds oxygen, as over 95% comes from the ocean


Wait a minute, we're supposed to haggle! ISPs want folk to bargain over broadband


Re: Is this an east-side-of-the-pond thing?

Here in the US, We have a highly manipulative broadband, TV and phone market.

KNOB turns up the heat on Bluetooth encryption, hotels leak guest info, city hands $1m to crook, and much, much more



How about:



<blank> (I wonder if that's actually possible?)

Microsoft blocked TSO Host's email IPs from Hotmail, Outlook inboxes and no one seems to care


Not noticed any difference

Still see the same amounts of spam to my hotmail account.

Fortunately, All items that use the hotmail account are spam by definition. I use it for those that require a valid email address, and example@example.com or abuse@theirdomain.whatever doesn't work for them.

There are no legitimate reasons for email to be sent to the account, and a human reading the name would realize this.

US court nixes Google's $5.5m court payoff over Safari Workaround – no one affected saw cash


We need more like this.. Do you think he can take on Equifax next?

With the 'Record Breaking'(tm) payout from Equifax, the FCC are having to backpedal and ask people not to select the $125, as too many people are selecting the $125, and the FCC have realised that $125*300 million is more than the fine of $700 million (of which, only $31 million is actually available for payout)


Fresh stalkerware crop pops up on Google's Android Play Store, swiftly yanked offline


They take down these apps, but still allow Absher to exist.


Now, how to boost fibre throughput to a stonking 240Gbps? With frikkin' spin-lasers, of course


And here in the US, we'll get a option to upgrade from 200Mbs to 300MBs, at no extra(*) cost

(*) but don't forget our premium tiers, where for only $$ a month, we'll let you access youtube and Netflix, and we'll add in 5 free views of noamoneygrab.com

Microsoft admits: Yes, miscreants leafed through some Hotmail, MSN, Outlook inboxes after support rep pwned


I only use hotmail for messages I don't want

Classify as spam anyone not in my address book.

Address book empty.

Please, collect the thousands of junk email I get each day - it's not as if I read it.

Boffins put the FUN into fungus by rigging yeast to squirt out the active ingredients in cannabis


Self Rising brownies*

*for various definitions of rising

>>> Eat This icon, because that's really what you should be doing with the brownies.

Disk drives suck less than they did a couple of years ago. Which is nice


Nice to see these figures.

When I started building computers, it was a 1 in 10 chance of picking up a DOA, not counting anything that may happen after starting up and installing dos 3.3

Official: Voyager 2 is now an interstellar spacecraft


Brings this quote to mind...

Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.

-- Douglas Adams

DEF CON hackers' dossier on US voting machine security is just as grim as feared


I wonder if the politicians will care when some hacker gets them voted out of office?

Judge bars distribution of 3D gun files... er, five years after they were slapped onto the web



> "they can be emailed, mailed, securely transmitted, or otherwise published within the United States."

I remember a time when you could call a number, give it a code, and get fax instructions back...

It's evolved to email (We are happily ignoring your problem, and will read it up when it's convenient for us...), so a quick autoresponder, and you've got your plans.

Windows 10 July update. Surface Pro 4. Working fondleslab. Pick two


Re: This is one of Microsofts biggest failures

> Windows 8 got a billion hours of testing...

must be like my 8 hours of work every day

Just how rigged is America's broadband world? A deep dive into one US city reveals all



Since my move in February, this is the first time I have had a choice of high speed(*) providers in the 20 years I have been living in the US. 5 cities, 3 states. I just *so* love the competition that is out there.

(*)High speed definition varies by era

Facebook deletes 17 accounts, dusts off hands, beams: We've saved the 2018 elections


What about the rest?

Multiple accounts and pages deleted...

Are they going to delete the shares? and follow the path of every share spammer out there that shared this information from here to kingdom come?

How hack on 10,000 WordPress sites was used to launch an epic malvertising campaign


Uninstalling Flash, and installing uBlock Origin has stopped me getting an infection for years.

I don't miss all the crappy flash games, and I definitely don't miss the noisy flash ads.

Don’t talk to the ATM, young man, it’s just a machine and there’s nobody inside


other faults:

OSI Layer 8 network error

Loose nut on keyboard

Wetware error

North Korea's antivirus software whitelisted mystery malware


Re: Remind me to RTFA

But who sent the software to Martyn?

Uber saddles up for a new cycle of controversy


Re: AB

Training wheels?

Quitting your job? Here's how not to do it


Re: Working your notice

Don't forget you have to ensure that the bad cases work as expected too

Test Case: Aircraft Guidance System

ID: AGS002

Expected Results: Plane broken, flames visible, occupants show no signs of life.

Coders' 'lives sucked out' by black-and-white Visual Studio 11


Re: Colour and contrast are not just for "ooh, look at the shiny thing"

Don't forget that avon and somerset police have sign language on their website

They supposedly say it's for the deaf that don't have English as their primary language, but you have to be able to read the links to find it


Phishing email used in serious RSA attack surfaces


constantly reporting

I flip a coin to decide if excel is going to crash this time...

'Wrong amount of snow' caused Heathrow chaos


Definately changeable

I remember a forecast for sunshine, hail, snow and sleet in the same day - and the forecaster got them all right !

Dentist cuffed for using lost credit card to pay for pizza



What pin?

no pin for a credit card, and most debit cards can be used as credit cards. Add to this the fact that most places don't check signature, and you can do a lot of damage with a found card.

Fail for Visa/MasterCard/Whatever that don't implement something suitably more secure, and Fail for the retailer that just blindly accepts that card possesion is the same as card ownership

Radiohead goes out on a limb with 'newspaper album'



and just because you and/or some critics liked it, everyone should bow down, and crawl on hands and knees to their local record store, and buy every copy available as penance?

New owner slips into unwitting BoJo's domain

Thumb Up



Plods scrap crap stealth spy blimp


New arial surveilence option

Trebuchet - Only takes 1 plod - we can motorise the winching and release. They may have to have a 2nd plod to guard the landing pad, but depending on who was due to be launched, that would be optional

Trucker jailed for deadly motorway gamble


(more black humour)

Two pair - Aces over eights

Android rebellion: How to tame your stupid smartphone


Apple recognised that Apps are

a pain in the butt, but as they are the only place you can get an app, we can keep them sanitised, and not allow anything that might hint at the users doing anything than drooling over the phones, or allowing an app through that duplicates a function of the phone, just does it better, or that gets rejected because Lord Jobs left testicle is itching thins morning.

Car wrecks rise after texting bans imposed



The state I reside in has had a texting ban since January. The county announce recently they have imposed fines on 12 people.

I would like to know what roads they drive on - I can see that many on my 2 mile commute home

Zeus botnets' Achilles' Heel makes infiltration easy


turnaround is fair play?

Set the botnet to:

attack itself.

attack Zeus writes

attack other botnets, and create an all out war

uninstall itself (after downloading and installing all windows updates)

install linux, and destroy the windows folder

Welsh hospitals to allow mobile use



look at the penultimate paragraph.

Raising the roof on the shingled write problem


only 4 writes?

I would hazard more than that, as when you write subsequent tracks, surely you are overwriting even more of already laid down data. This would seem to imply that on average 1/2 the number of tracks would have to be rewritten.

Coalition's quango hit list revealed


can't find it?

2nd link on google. If you can't find that in 30 seconds, you're a bloody slow reader!


School caretaker jailed for fitting up colleague


I agree

Rape should be a much harsher sentence. When will a court ever impose the maximum sentence for rape - life ?

IE captain flees Microsoft for Google


what non-compete?

Noncompete agreements are automatically void as a matter of law in California, except for a small set of specific situations expressly authorized by statute. (California Business and Professions Code Section 16600). See, e.g., Edwards v. Arthur Andersen LLP, 44 Cal. 4th 937 (2008). They were outlawed by the original California Civil Code in 1872.[6]

London tenders for speed cameras


40k speed cams?

I want whatever you're driving!

'Poo-powered' Volkswagen astounds world+dog


AA Man

This just gives a wonderful picture of the AA man dropping trousers to help you get to the patrol station, and fill up properly

Cockeyed 'Knob Face' confusion masks real malware threat


I like these hoaxes

but only as I get to charge an 'Idiot Tax' as I hand over my bill for the minimum of 1 hour fee to tell someone who is insistent that I.T. is wrong, and the world will end tomorrow if security is not improved that it's a hoax, and they should listen to their own people

Enough of these, and sometimes it drills through their thick skull

OFT to disqualify unwitting directors to deter competition abuses


I can't be a director

but my son/aunt/cousin thrice removed/father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate can be.

Don't mind the man behind the curtain

Computer grads can't even get jobs offering personal services


What a service!

I'll get you off twice.

eBay trumps Tiffany in trade mark ruling



Wouldn't you think if they can fake Tiffany, then a scrap of paper is going to be easier?

If you think paper is difficult, I have a lot of £100s going cheap

Stick a fork in floppies - they're done

Thumb Up

Raid floppies?


McAfee offers cash for clunkers



Viruses are updated regularly, respond to threats against them and are well supported by the people who write them. Sorry, Windows doesn't fall into that descrition

Facebook starts random application shutdown


Password: ******

Th*t's my p*ssword useless now

(*'m not g*v*ng *ny *uck*ng money to *nyone)

Bec*use o* th*s, * w*ll cl**m the letter E)