Posts by jai

This one weird trick deletes any YouTube flick in just a few clicks

Re: F*king cat videos

"what else would a techie use"

This always goes down a treat:

http://bit.ly/4kb77v

Notebooks drag PC sales out the toilet, fondleslabs still falling

This is the April Fools article isn't it? :)

That one about the Fukushima cores was more believable than PC sales going back up.

To BALDLY GO where few have gone before: NASA 'naut twin to spend YEAR IN SPAACE

but... what of the effect of gravity on hair loss?

there's no way to know from this experiment if spending so long in space causes all your hair to fall out and clog up critical systems in the spaceship!!

Apple's Tim Cook and Salesforce's Marc Benioff DECLARE WAR on anti-gay Indiana

It's all a bit cyberpunk, isn't it, when Corporations can have a direct influence on political policy. Not even via the behind-the-scenes funding and lobbying, this is Big Corporations publically announcing the way they want the laws to be.

I'm not saying they're wrong in this instance.

But I wonder, in 10, 20 or 30 years, does government just become an administration office, responcible for managing and implementing the will of the top 20 Corps?

[mines the coat with Lo Tek scrawled on the back and with Dolphin spittle staining the sleeve]

Google promises Pointer Events support, with or without Apple

Re: Why is Apple not using it?

This is the theory for why Apple aren't interested - it was why Google weren't interested either:

https://code.google.com/p/chromium/issues/detail?id=162757#c64

Apple is picking off iOS antivirus apps one by one: Who'll be spared?

Re: Pointless apps?

sandboxes on desktops, no?

is there an article about pwning mobile devices (especially un-jailbroken ones)?

Analyst dons Tim Cook mask, thinks: Glass went well for Google. Let's do that, too

Re: I'm sure Apple investigates a lot of stuff

WSJ will run with any old rubbish, I doubt they warrant even $100 bet.

Blighty's 12-sided quid to feature schoolboy's posterior

£2

I get given £2 coins as change quite a lot.

Probably cos i keep buying a bar of chocolate with a tenner.

Banks defend integrity of passcode-less TouchID login

in other news - jailbreaking is still a thing?

On 50th anniversary of first spacewalk, Aurorae light up two planets

Ulla !!

Dust clouds? Ultraviolet glows in the atmosphere? Suggests weapons testing and troop mobilisation.

No flashes of green gas yet aimed at the Earth?

Surely it's only a matter of time.

#keepClearOfHorsellCommon

#noOneWouldHaveBelieved....

Web geeks grant immortality to Sir Terry Pratchett – using smuggled web code

Re: "Why include the N?"

Without the N then the GNU jokes don't work. Wasn't the hack (in the book) implemented by the group calling themselves the Smoking GNU ?

Want that awesome new Apple TrackPad? Don't get a MacBook Pro

Glue

Is the heavy handed use of glue just Apple's way of trolling ifixit ?

I BEG YOU, mighty Jobs, TAKE MY LIVER, Cook told Apple's dying co-founder

You checked and verified? What are you doing reading El Reg????

Sir Terry remembered: Dickens' fire, Tolkien's imagination, and the wit of Wodehouse

Re: Dollars?

As I recall it was a million dollars worth of UK Sterling.

I was wondering whether to suggest watching the TV adaptations?

I thought Going Postal was brilliant! but then maybe it helps to have read the book first and that's what makes the tv show so good?

From the books - i would recommend Guards! Guards! as a good starting point too. it's a great story by itself, full of fantastic characters. the rest of the books with those characters are great.

Then again, Wyrd Sisters might be a great place to start, as you'll be familiar with the underlying story that it is parodying.

LaCie snuggles up to Apple’s slim 12-inch MacBook with fat HDD

Re: Apple what are you doing Apple stop

how long is the power lead that you use to connect and charge your portable laptop while also backing up to disk or similar?

$17,000 Apple Watch: Pointless bling, right? HA! You're WRONG

Re: The difference is …

Most of the really posh Rolex's cost a lot more than $17k.

So having a novelty digital watch for a 1/3 of the price of the $60k Rolex you wear with your tuxedo might appeal to the kind of people who are chaufuered from their mansion to their Lear jet in their Rolls Royce.

A gold MacBook with just ONE USB port? Apple, you're DRUNK

Re: 1 USB port? Seriously?

"Or one could just say no to overpriced, underpowered, Fisher-Price..."

Exhibit B, m'lord:

http://www.google.com/chromebook/pixel/

Re: 1 USB port? Seriously?

the most geeky of power users aren't using such archaic things as physical media or DSLRs.

download your movies to your iPad, old man!!

and get a newer DSLR that uploads straight to the cloud, from whence you can then view it on your hi-res 12" macbook screen.

or wait till you get home.

or get a macbook pro.

Re: Use cases

4) About the get mugged by a group of ruffians. Cheap laptop: try to exchange it in barter for your life, get laughed at and see laptop smashed to pieces as they give it and your ribs a kicking in equal measure. New Mac: use it's ultra thin and sharp wedge shape to decapitate or remove limbs of the creeps in a whirling dervish of martial artistry like something from the pages of a manga, then give praise to Crom as you see them crushed and driven before you, while listening to the lamentations of their women!

Re: One Day Late and a Dollar Over

"A camera phone that doesn't lie flat on the desk"

works for Samsung as well though

Re: Not a universal view

Same here. I have an iMac with all the usb slots used up, two of which are 10-port usb hubs for a stack of external hard drives.

I do not need any connectivity on my laptop - i print wirelessly via Printopia on the iMac. I move files onto and off the laptop via wifi (increasingly AirDrop)

What i really need is a laptop that weighs as little as possible and is comfortable to use in the ever shrinking seat space on my train to and from work.

get the next macbook pro then?

Re: I agree with Andrew.

mos or most tablets are not Apple tablets

Re: 10 years old

how much does that behemoth weigh?

how big is it? does it need it's own postcode?

and also, pitiful screen resolution compared to this new macbook air

Re: Almost justifiable...

easy solution - pay masses for the adapter when you get the macbook - and then no pain on the day when you find a need for it. The base machine costs a grand - the adaptor isn't a massive amount more if you buy it at the same time as the laptop

Re: Not unprecedented.

Did they remove the power-port, but leave a usb-port?

Or did they remove all the usb-ports, but leave the power-port?

Re: Plugable UD-3900

not compatible with Linux either. i suspect the reason is less "significant limitations" in either operating system and more with the ability of Plugable's devs

Re: 1 USB port? Seriously?

what do you use an SD card for??? i expect you want a dvd drive and a 9600 baud modem too?

Apple Watch: Wait a minute! This puny wrist-puter costs 17 GRAND?!

MacBook upgrades

"Fans can ramp up the notebook to a 1.2GHz"

But it doesn't have a fan?

In fact, on the apple store site, looks like there is a BTO option to have a 1.3ghz Core M

Re: Worth it's weight in Gold....

"We are approaching Rolex levels here"

I believe that is the goal. These aren't intended for the normal hoi poloi.

if you need to connect lots of stuff to your laptop, then this isn't the laptop for you. they stil sell macbook pros, with lots of ports on them for all sorts of connectivity

Re: Waterproof?

it's a better selling point for version 2, to push people to upgrade

Re: Wonders what planet has 18 hour days....

most people on this planet sleep for 6 or more hours a day and don't have much call to check the time while unconcious in bed

Re: Seems odd to limit access to HBO Now.

"legally from Oz"

Will it be available outside the US then?

I kinda zoned out during that part of the keynote as i assumed it was going to be a US only thing.

If it is available worldwide then i'm definitely signing up - there's years and years worth of great tv watching on HBO (and that's just from watching The Wire over and over and over again)

Oi. APPLE fanboi! You with the $10k and pocket on fire! Fancy a WATCH?

What, no Douglas Adams quote?

“Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.”

― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Re: Unfortunately

"comment on how Apple are as innovative as they claim to be"

Then why the arguments, if we both agree the same??

Re: Whatever the price it'll be too much

http://daringfireball.com/ has guesses at the prices. Apparently these are purely guesses, Gruber hasn't been given the wink from anyone at Apple or anything. But if he's right, then yes, all but the low-end model are soul-crushingly expensive. And who wants to pay $350 for a watch with a rubber strap?

Re: Hmm...$10,000...

<TL:DR>that need a button press with the other hand

rumours are that the AppleWatch won't need a button press to view the time or latest alerts, you just need to move your arm so you can see the watch face

Nena-bothering stats tempt Ericsson into Cleversafe's arms

+1 for Nena reference

Well played sir!

Apple: We could expose our WHOPPING 12 INCH iPad - but it's not real

Re: Headline fraud

The Register : ignoring truth and facts since 1994

although, technically, the headline does say "says firm" but doesn't actaully say if that firm is Apple, or some firm of rumour-mongers like Bloomberg or the WSJ

Apple Pay a haven for 'rampant' credit card fraud, say experts

Re: @Steve I: Well, actually old chap, now that you mention it................

As it says in the article: It is lax customer verification controls by banks rather than any inherent security weaknesses with Apply Pay

NERDGASM as Apple announces 'special event'

beuatiful???

Of course, it might be that Apple snub El Reg because no one on El Reg is capable of proof-reading their copy before hitting the publish button.

And even then, none of the editors can be bothered to read the story after it's published and correct any mistakes either!

Y'know, there's new PR people at Apple now. I'm sure if you tried you'd be able to ingratiate yourselves with them and get Rik (is he still around?) an invite to an event.

@Marc 13

Hey Marc 13, the 19th century called, they want their archaic gadgetry back!

Money from apps? It's all about Apple iOS, says survey

Re: What are All These Little Programs

Not that I have ever seen the point of a machine that needs to have bits downloaded to make it more usable

you've never upgraded the firmware on anything?

or updated your OS with the latest, security patched, version?

are you typing this on a PC that's only running the pre-bundled software it came from?

I'm sure there are many people in that scenario, but i'd be gobsmacked to discover any of them reading and posting on El Reg

Apple: 100,000 lucky people can test our flaky iOS 8.3 code – report

or charge a load for the dev hardware and then have the plug pulled

BBC: SOD the scientific consensus! Look OUT! MEGA TSUNAMI is coming

reconstruction?

"The BBC's own guidelines on reconstructions state that they \"should normally be based on a substantial and verifiable body of evidence,\" "

But... it's not a reconstruction if it's a theoretical enactment of a potential scenario. it's a construction. Is there a guideline document for those?

UGH... opposable thumbs are so tiresome! Why not mount your iPhone on your face?

not likely in that format

Jony Ive was quoted in New Yorker as saying they don't believe wearable tech should be on the face:

When he later saw Google Glass, Ive said, it was evident to him that the face “was the wrong place.”

http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/02/23/shape-things-come?currentPage=all

Sony's super-frumpy SmartEyeglass goggles are $840 Google Glasses

Re: OMG

Are you suggesting that M$'s Hologlass looks so much cooler? or, in fact, Googles Glasses, which are smaller, but still godawful?

Apple LIGHTSABERS to feature in The Force Awakens

Re: Retrogression of the "Force".

"I have never seen a light saber used or operational by someone without the Force"

General Grievous uses four at once.

And the aforementioned Han Solo's "I thought the smelled bad.... on the outside" moment.