* Posts by Winkypop

5642 publicly visible posts • joined 21 Oct 2008

Take it Huawei, Pai: Senate passes bill to rip 'dodgy' kit from rural telcos

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Coat

NEXT: The war on Christmas

No more Huawei in a manger....

Sure, check through my background records… but why are you looking at my record collection?

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Oh $deity, retirement means...

I never have to apply for another job.

The old codgers club accept absolutely everyone.

No social media? No problem.

Never thought we'd write this headline: Under Siege Steven Seagal is not Above The Law, must fork out $314,000 after boosting crypto-coin biz

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Devil

Crapto currency

(Sic)

Trashing privacy? That's our job! Facebook accuses analytics biz of harvesting people's info from software dev kit sold to app makers

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Poacher hunter gamekeeper

Who can tell anymore?

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now: Brexit tea towel says it'll just be the gigabit broadband

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Devil

Brexit Tea Towel

Put it next to the Charles and Di wedding plate.

While hype merchants push chatbots, CIOs are saving up pennies while expecting a recession, reckons study

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Re: So, around half or even three quarters of dis-satisfaction

We had a name for this.

The "Interstate/Overseas Executive Trip"

Exec would come back with a head full of marketing-crap and vapour ware brochures.

Just the place you'd want to spot a BSOD: While waiting in line for a roller coaster that lifts you up 124ft

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Coat

Windows

Always full of ups and downs, often downs....

RIP Katherine Johnson: The extraordinary NASA mathematician astronauts trusted over computers

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Exceptional skills

She made a significant contribution to manned space flight.

An inspiration.

Your McDonald's demo has expired. For full functionality, please purchase a licence or try another fast-food joint

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Windows

"those content to let their vehicles smell like ground-up cow."

Or worse, those content to stink up a taxiing aircraft.

Arm doors and upchuck!

Assange lawyer: Trump offered WikiLeaker a pardon in exchange for denying Russia hacked Democrats' email

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Pirate

Put Trump, Assange and Putin in a room

Provide only one smart phone.

Let the strongest bullshitter win.

Call us immediately if your child uses Kali Linux, squawks West Mids Police

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Joke

Kids today eh?

In my day it was getting warned off stealing apples from Mrs Johnson's yard.

Now it's international espionage, hacking and money laundering!

Bah!

We're afraid it might be terminal: Tesco top-up box looking less than tip-top

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Mushroom

More services are being added "all the time"

"although we'd wager that doesn't include Windows Update on this box at least."

BooM!

'That's here. That's home. That's us': It's 30 years since Voyager 1 looked back and squinted at a 'Pale Blue Dot'

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Thumb Up

Carolyn Porco

Super star to the (real) stars!

Talk about high tech: Tens of thousands of Cali marijuana convictions to go up in smoke, thanks to algorithms

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Pass the judgy on the left hand side

Weeding out the non criminals.

About time.

Ever dream of being an astronaut? Now’s your chance. NASA wants new people for the Moon and Mars

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Re: The Problem...

Nor a sweet 60's land yacht convertible or Corvette.

Astroboffins agog after spotting the first repeating fast radio burst that pings every 16 days from another galaxy

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Alien

Carefull

Once decoded, might be Vogon poetry.

It's a Bing thing: Microsoft drops plans to shove unloved search engine down throats of unsuspecting enterprises

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Joke

Questions II?

What is "Bing"

Built to last: Time to dispose of the disposable, unrepairable brick

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Out of warranty? See YouTube and eBay

If the unit is borked, what harm can my tinkering do?

Saved a few old devices over the years from Dysons to iPods to PCs, and I learned a few things along the way.

NASA's Christina Koch returns to Earth as the longest-serving woman astronaut – after spending 328 days in space

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Thumb Up

Brilliant job that Woman!

That's quite an achievement. I'll bet full earth gravity feels like a real drag. I wonder how long it will take her to get her earth legs back?

Thumbs up, because all such space-flying events are very inspiring.

Hey GitLab, the 1970s called and want their sexism back: Saleswomen told to wear short skirts, heels and 'step it up'

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Joke

"Slack channel"

They need a "Short dress channel", clearly!

Oh buoy. Rich yacht bods' job agency leaves 17,000 sailors' details exposed in AWS bucket

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Megaphone

But I want a PORTHOLE!

Miss Switched-on Manager, 30 something, tasked us to build a porthole.

"A porthole" we responded.

"Yes a bloody porthole, a web porthole!"

You mean a portal?

No, a porthole!

True story.

SF tech biz forks out $146m in fines, settlements after painkiller makers bribed it to design medical software that pushed opioids to patients

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Pirate

The US health industry

You can't live with it, and you can't live without it.

BSOD Burgerwatch latest: Do you want fries with that plaintext password?

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Windows

Thanks for the article

That's just renewed my commitment to never eat in/at these places again.

Ding-dong. Who's there? Any marketing outfit willing to pay: Not content with giving cops access to doorbell cams, Ring also touts personal info

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Thumb Down

I file this under "IOT"

I avoid all IOT tech.

Sounds creepy BTW.

Curse of Boeing continues: Now a telly satellite it built may explode, will be pushed up to 500km from geo orbit

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Alien

Where's the kaboom?

There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering kaboom!

Who honestly has a crown prince in their threat model? UN report officially fingers Saudi royal as Bezos hacker

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Pirate

Saudi hacking styles

Be careful which type you choose.

- The Bezos

- The Kashoggi

Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia accused of hacking Jeff Bezos' phone with malware-laden WhatsApp message

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Facepalm

Big enough

Is there a leaky boat large enough and an ocean wide enough to launch all of these tiresome actors?

The mysterious giant blobs of gas around our galaxy's black hole are actually massive merger stars being shredded

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Devil

"stars being stretched by the extreme tidal forces around the black hole."

Oh, like BREXIT then....

Apple calls BS on FBI, AG: We're totally not dragging our feet in murder probe iPhone decryption. PS: No backdoors

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Devil

"points to some kind of strategy on the part of Barr and the FBI"

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Astroboffins discover Sun is surfing on 9,000-light-year gas wave that acts as Milky Way's stellar nursery

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Happy

Forget bringing a towel when hitch hiking the galaxy

Maybe we should all have a surf board

Pack your bags! NASA's latest exoplanet hunter satellite finds its first Earth-sized world in a habitable zone – and it's only 100 light years away

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Alien

TOI 700 d citizens, having realised they've been rumbled...

...now working on solar system relocation technology.

This page is currency unavailable... Travelex scrubs UK homepage, kills services, knackers other sites amid 'software virus' infection

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Coat

Cash converters

Haven't used one of those cash desks since the early 80s.

And then only in an emergency.

Pickpocket -->

Google security engineer says she was fired for daring to remind Googlers they do indeed have labor rights

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Alert

As imperfect as the union model is

It sure beats the US style wage slave system.

It's 2019 so, of course, this Wells Fargo employee accused of stealing customer cash posed with wads of dosh on Instagram, Facebook

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Devil

Finally, a decent use-case for social media!

1. Self reporting of crimes by the stupid

Put the crypt into cryptocoin: Amid grave concerns, lawyers to literally dig into exchange exec who died owing $190m

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FAIL

Investors were fooled

The minute they bought into crypto-nothing-coin

Londoner admits illegally accessing National Lottery accounts

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Trollface

Sentencing scratch tickets

Match three symbols to learn your sentencing period.

3 Con men = 5 years

3 Locks and keys = 10 years

3 Bowls of gruel = 15 years

All tickets are winners!

100 mysterious blinking lights in the night sky could be evidence of alien life... or something weird, say boffins

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Alien

Roxanxyzxxllx

You don't have to put on your red light...

Space Force is go, go, go! Because we have a child as President of the United States

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Flame

Uranus or bust

Maybe we could send the Trump family on a one-way trip on the Jupiter III

Amazon: Trump photon-torpedoed our $10bn JEDI dream because he hates CEO Jeff Bezos

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Trollface

Trump, bent?

Surely not!

We're not trying to be rude here but... there's an ice giant stripping down, emitting gas as it orbits a hot white dwarf

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Flame

Red Dwarf Insurance, buy now, avoid the rush

Policies from £50

Uncle Sam challenged in court for slurping social media info on 'millions' of visa applicants

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Big Brother

And for those with NO social media accounts

I presume it would be 'access denied'

Russian FaceApp selfie-slurper poses 'potential counterintelligence threat', FBI warns

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Headmaster

Meanwhile

The public voluntarily pour their PI into any and every App, Game, Social Media software they can find.

You can forget about that Black Friday deal: Brit banks crap out just in time for pay day

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Devil

Ahhhhh "shared services"

Pronounced: "shit services"

Irish eyes aren't smiling after govt blows €1m on mega-printer too big for parliament's doors

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Devil

That's some printer there

Can it print € notes I wonder...?

Bose customers beg for firmware ceasefire after headphones fall victim to another crap update

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Devil

Russian roulette firmware upgrades

Do You feel lucky?' Well, do you, punk?

Found on Mars: Alien insects... or whatever the hell this smudge is supposed to be, anyway

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Just don't let these Mars insects get to our Moon

They will eat all the cheese!

Mysterious IT snafu at British Airways causes bunch of inbound flight delays and cancellations

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Windows

Bring back BOAC

I'm old.

Like a BAT outta hell, Brave browser hits 1.0 with crypto-coin rewards for your fave websites

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Unhappy

Re: iOS 12 needed

It's not very good on an iPhone 5S with latest iOS either, I'm afraid.

Judge shoots down Trump admin's efforts to allow folks to post shoddy 3D printer gun blueprints online

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Facepalm

Because...

...more guns, that's what America needs.

Uber CEO compares pedestrian death to murder of Saudi journalist, saying all should be forgiven

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Alert

Saudi Arabia and Uber

Made for each other.

Best avoided at all costs.