* Posts by Winkypop

5642 publicly visible posts • joined 21 Oct 2008

Boffin calculates pi to 2.7 trillion digits

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FAIL

Pfffffffftttttt....

In school I could spell 'shell oil' on my calculator *

*if you turned it upside down..

National Rail website buried ahead of snow storm

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In case you were wondering...

..it was 39oC here yesterday...

(sorry)

Facebook offs social suicide service

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Stop

Facebook (bwahahahahaaaa)

The best way to ensure you have no personal info on Facebook is to NOT join up in the first place.

No, not even a bogus account.

I'm happy to be a Facebook virgin!

NASA's Kepler telescope finds 5 new planets

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Oh noes!

More planets, a few less gods!

Why it might turn out that religion is........err.......man made!

Oh the huge manitee !

Dubai cuts ribbon on world's tallest building

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FAIL

Height?

Surely a kid with a grade school knowledge of maths could calculate the height on the back of a bus ticket.

http://i.ehow.com/images/GlobalPhoto/Articles/5204644/heightSimilarTriangles_Thumb.jpg

Oz bank thinks it's 2016

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FAIL

Bank of Queensland eh?

Beautiful one day, perfectly old-fashioned the next*

* Aussies will know what this means

25kg of cocaine hits Spanish supermarket shelves

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Come Mr tally man, tally me bananas

I'm just off to Lidl to get some coke...

Boys in blue caught breaking IT rules

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FAIL

Copper eh?

Yah gotta laugh!

US word czars unfriend shovel-ready toxic assets

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Megaphone

and while we are at it...

...no more GRUNTING or VOCALISING during tennis matches - OK?

Tories swallow Web 2.0, spit out £1m crowdsource prize

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Joke

Why bother...

Just legislate whatever the Sun editorial says!

Easy.

When do I get my £1 million?

Spirit rover clocks up six years on Mars

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Alert

Perhaps...

Perhaps some homeless Martian dude will walk by and wipe it's solar panel.

Although he won't be too chuffed when Rover doesn't have change for a 100 Marsuvian Dinar!

Seriously, this whole mission has been a (rare) credit to homo sapiens!

Today is not New Year's Eve - or the end of the decade

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Who is this jesus feller?

and why do we bother when he might have been sprung from his mums (non virginal) loins?

Arise, Sir Peter of Middle Earth

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FAIL

Trinkets for the lambs

Old Liz sure knows how to throw a few baubles to the masses eh?

Border Agency and Cardiff fail on FoI reviews

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Joke

FOI

(Data) Found On Infrastructure (Bus, Train, Ferry, etc)

English language falls to the Slashdot effect

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Truth is...

...in English we've probably forgotten more old words than we ever create...

Fensternationale !!

X-Box 360 theft suspect busted after online gaming sesh

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Big Brother

Honeytrap Chips

Add a phone-home chip to all internet connecting kit.

To be activated by the actual owner upon purchase (optional).

Once nicked the stolen kit 'screams' out for the cops.....

A bit like talkie-toaster from RD.

"Help, help! I've been stolen, Help! *

* Are you sure you wouldn't like some toasted bread products, etc....

Kate Winslet sports top celeb bod

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There are few ugly women...

....but the stick insectoids are among them.

Give me healthy jubbles any day!!

Jimbo asks online folk to play nice, be civil

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Stop

Ahh come on now Mr Jimbo, son

Get your hand off it.

You'll go blind you know!

NASA eyes asteroid, Moon and Venus

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FAIL

Moon rocks?

Didn't NASA do (or not do, depending on your tin foil hat beliefs) this back in 1969?

I remember, it was on the (B&W) telly !

Apple ejects Dalai Lama from Chinese iTunes

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The Dalai Lama is a cool dude

I might decry religion as 'self-help for the deluded' but my mate the Lama-guy is one cool dude.

May he continue to laugh long and hard.

China on the other hand is a living embodiment of a hell on earth.

I avoid Chinese made as much as is possible these days.

Japanese chap sets paper plane flight record

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Coat

Is that all?

I once threw a paper plane off the top of the school, it went for at least that long...

What? there are rules?

Oh..

Secret code protecting cellphone calls set loose

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FAIL

Who needs to intercept mobes?

It seems half the civilized world puts no end of private dross from their sad existences on FailBook..

Amazon Kindle International Edition

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FAIL

Audio books win hands down & eyes closed!

I listen to audio books on my iPod, with my eyes closed!

Audio books are DRM free (or can be) and are cheap and freely available on utorrent*

* not that any of us would do this.

Software fraudster 'fooled CIA' into terror alert

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FAIL

Hahahahaha

CI-fAil

Homemade airship prang closes highway in Oklahoma

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More power to the flying wrinklies

Rah!

Good on ya mate, well done.

Next time I hope you get clear all the way interstate....and then some.

We need more people like this.

Chocks away (if you can have chocks on a dirigible)

Nuke-bunker-nobbling US megabomb delayed

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Flame

Who let the Americans play with matches?

You know what happened last time, and the time before, and the time before...

Comcast to pay $16m over BitTorrent busting

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Get $16

Get sued for illegal file sharing - lose $160K or your liberty.

Bait and switch anyone?

US mum calls 911 over Grand Theft Auto

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FAIL

Grand Theft Brain

1. Parental fail

2. Teenager fail

3. Policing fail

What's next?

Help!

911?

My little Johnny won't wash behind his ears!!

Send in the SWAT team !!!!

Ferry giant refuses ID card

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FAIL

What a numpty

If he'd taken his passport along too, none of this would have happened.

It's a TRIAL, shit happens.

ISS crew don festive hats

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Unhappy

There's no chimney on the ISS?

How does Santa get in?

Hackers break Amazon's Kindle DRM

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Joke

Kindle Schmindle

I'm waiting for a decent ebook reader that runs on Linux and is powered by kitchen scraps!!

Can anyone explain the chunnel fiasco?

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FAIL

Plenty of room for more...

....please move up the tunnel.

Oz anti-censorship site is censored

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Megaphone

Oh we will sunshine

We will !!!!! 11111!!!!

Crypto snafu grounds 3D Avatar screenings in Germany

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FAIL

What is this "FILM" thning anyway?

And when will it be on the uTorrents?

Iraqi insurgents hack US drones with $26 software

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Taliban-Tube

Where do I sign up?

Watchdog files complaint over Facebook 'privacy' settings

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FAIL

errrrm...

...then don't use failbook???

Just say no.

Stargazers spy super-Earth waterworld

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16 bar, hot water...

Coffee-world!

Hazaaaaa!

Facebook sues social network spammers

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FAIL

Facebook sues spammers?

Isn't the whole great 'social networky" thing one giant honeypot / spamtrap / house of fail ?

Kettle

Pot

Black...

Google weighs in to Aussie firewall row

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Grenade

Hey religio-tards and other crazy fundies

I don't believe in your sky-fairy's, so stay off my internet !!

Facebookers made into fans of Berlsuconi in post-attack row

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Joke

Hit in the face with a miniture cathedral?

Perhaps he should just turn the other cheek ?

2009's Top E-book Readers

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Why?

Why buy an expensive, clunky, electro-slate?

I much prefer audio-books on my MP3 player.

That way I can 'read' with my eyes closed.

It's so relaxing on the train, in bed, while driving (hands-free) , or just sitting in a chair. It's meditation while you learn stuff.

I've also increased my 'reading' volume enormously. I often have an analog book on the go plus an audio book. But not both at the same time, of course.

The Great Aussie Firewall is dead: Long live the firewall

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Megaphone

Errr not quite

Forget all the red-neck NRA propaganda you may have read son.

The vast majority of Aussies, 95%+ (a guess), never wanted nor needed a gun in the first place.

As for Internet freedom, well that's another thing altogether !!

SF's rogue admin finally gets day in court

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Joke

But

Who will protect the Childs?

[sorry]

Police moot pop-up social network warnings

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Joke

I already get a 'pop-up' when I...

...visit certain adult-orientated web sites!

Facebook chief explains bear photo bareness

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Stop

When will FaceBook become mandatory?

'Cause I for one would rather be arrested for non-compliance than get involved in that shite!

Congressmen steam over Wikileaks TSA breach

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State secrets online

Suck it down!

LOL

Privacy furore forces partial climb-down from Facebook

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FAIL

You get what you pay for....

....and the advertisers/scammers get hold of whatever they can.

FB just brings to 2 groups together.

Ahhh FB, such great lumps of nasty FAIL.

US bests UK in iTunes Xmas giftiness

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If you like that....

I have an old 8 Track of Bing Crosby singing xmas songs you might like...?

Mozilla squirts out Thunderbird 3

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Thunderbirds are Go

Yay, it's a beaut.

LHC pulverises previous record: 2.36 TeV surprise collision!

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Alien

2.36 TeV !!!!!

No wonder the quarks are restless tonight