* Posts by Winkypop

4609 posts • joined 21 Oct 2008

Lawsuit klaxon: HP, HPE accused of coordinated plan to oust older staff in favor of cheaper, compliant youngsters

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Cheaper, compliant, go-get-em, youngsters

Bah!

That's exactly why I retired last year.

And it's glorious!

Doors closed by COVID-19, Brit retro tech museums need your help

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Well worth supporting

Get at em guys

Australian contact-tracing app sent no data to contact-tracers for at least ten days after hurried launch

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Facepalm

You know they are bullshitting you when they say:

"Legal advice has been sought regarding the impact of the USA’s CLOUD Act on data collected by COVIDSafe, as it is stored in AWS. Officials would not release that advice and said they believe it is “not conceivable” the data could be accessed by US authorities, emphasised that security had been considered from every angle and opined that US courts would not likely look favourably upon a request to access data gathered by the app."

You have one job, Australian PM tells contact-tracing app, and that’s talking to medicos

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Morrison primer

For our overseas brethren, Scott Morrison is a combination of the following:

- Evagelical fruitcake

- Trump supporting right winger

- Ex marketing wonk

- All round pretend "regular guy"

As fake as a three dollar watch.

Apollo astronaut Al Worden – once named most isolated human being of all time – dies aged 88

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Unhappy

Another boyhood hero, gone

Truly inspiring men and women.

Facebook does the right thing for once: Joins Google, LinkedIn, Microsoft, Reddit, Twitter, YouTube to clean out dodgy COVID-19 info

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Devil

Facebook does the right thing...

The world REALLY is ending!

Good luck pitching a tent on exoplanet WASP-76b, the bloody raindrops here are made out of molten iron

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Flame

Raining molten iron?

Mankind: Hold my beer...

House of Lords push internet legend on greater openness and transparency from Google. Nope, says Vint Cerf

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Boffin

Trust us

We're from Alphabet!

If only you were smart enough to understand us.

Sadly, the web has brought a whole new meaning to the phrase 'nothing is true; everything is permitted'

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How's Mum?

I always ask after their Mum, as if I now her well.

How's your Mum's leg?

Has she seen the Dr?

Does she know that you work for a scammer?

She'd be very disappointed, etc......

Morrisons puts non-essential tech changes on ice as panic-stricken shoppers strip stores

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WTF?

Poo tickets in short supply here in Oz

People have gone completely bonkers here.

Toilet paper, pasta, rice and hand sanitiser have all disappeared!

B o n k e r s !!!

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Alert

Re: Couting my blessings

Everclear.

Been there done that.

Two shot glasses of that stuff is like having your brain slowly removed.

As Australia is gripped by bog roll shortage, tabloid says: Here, fill your dunny with us

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NT NEWS

What a croc* of shit.

* Their usual front page obsession.

Windows 7 goes dual screen to shriek at passersby: Please, just upgrade me or let me die

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Alert

It's still operating fine

It's an advert for Windows Update!

Take it Huawei, Pai: Senate passes bill to rip 'dodgy' kit from rural telcos

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Coat

NEXT: The war on Christmas

No more Huawei in a manger....

Sure, check through my background records… but why are you looking at my record collection?

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Oh $deity, retirement means...

I never have to apply for another job.

The old codgers club accept absolutely everyone.

No social media? No problem.

Never thought we'd write this headline: Under Siege Steven Seagal is not Above The Law, must fork out $314,000 after boosting crypto-coin biz

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Devil

Crapto currency

(Sic)

Trashing privacy? That's our job! Facebook accuses analytics biz of harvesting people's info from software dev kit sold to app makers

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Poacher hunter gamekeeper

Who can tell anymore?

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now: Brexit tea towel says it'll just be the gigabit broadband

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Devil

Brexit Tea Towel

Put it next to the Charles and Di wedding plate.

While hype merchants push chatbots, CIOs are saving up pennies while expecting a recession, reckons study

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Re: So, around half or even three quarters of dis-satisfaction

We had a name for this.

The "Interstate/Overseas Executive Trip"

Exec would come back with a head full of marketing-crap and vapour ware brochures.

Just the place you'd want to spot a BSOD: While waiting in line for a roller coaster that lifts you up 124ft

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Coat

Windows

Always full of ups and downs, often downs....

RIP Katherine Johnson: The extraordinary NASA mathematician astronauts trusted over computers

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Exceptional skills

She made a significant contribution to manned space flight.

An inspiration.

Your McDonald's demo has expired. For full functionality, please purchase a licence or try another fast-food joint

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Windows

"those content to let their vehicles smell like ground-up cow."

Or worse, those content to stink up a taxiing aircraft.

Arm doors and upchuck!

Assange lawyer: Trump offered WikiLeaker a pardon in exchange for denying Russia hacked Democrats' email

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Pirate

Put Trump, Assange and Putin in a room

Provide only one smart phone.

Let the strongest bullshitter win.

Call us immediately if your child uses Kali Linux, squawks West Mids Police

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Joke

Kids today eh?

In my day it was getting warned off stealing apples from Mrs Johnson's yard.

Now it's international espionage, hacking and money laundering!

Bah!

We're afraid it might be terminal: Tesco top-up box looking less than tip-top

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Mushroom

More services are being added "all the time"

"although we'd wager that doesn't include Windows Update on this box at least."

BooM!

'That's here. That's home. That's us': It's 30 years since Voyager 1 looked back and squinted at a 'Pale Blue Dot'

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Carolyn Porco

Super star to the (real) stars!

Talk about high tech: Tens of thousands of Cali marijuana convictions to go up in smoke, thanks to algorithms

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Pass the judgy on the left hand side

Weeding out the non criminals.

About time.

Ever dream of being an astronaut? Now’s your chance. NASA wants new people for the Moon and Mars

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Re: The Problem...

Nor a sweet 60's land yacht convertible or Corvette.

Astroboffins agog after spotting the first repeating fast radio burst that pings every 16 days from another galaxy

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Alien

Carefull

Once decoded, might be Vogon poetry.

It's a Bing thing: Microsoft drops plans to shove unloved search engine down throats of unsuspecting enterprises

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Joke

Questions II?

What is "Bing"

Built to last: Time to dispose of the disposable, unrepairable brick

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Out of warranty? See YouTube and eBay

If the unit is borked, what harm can my tinkering do?

Saved a few old devices over the years from Dysons to iPods to PCs, and I learned a few things along the way.

NASA's Christina Koch returns to Earth as the longest-serving woman astronaut – after spending 328 days in space

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Brilliant job that Woman!

That's quite an achievement. I'll bet full earth gravity feels like a real drag. I wonder how long it will take her to get her earth legs back?

Thumbs up, because all such space-flying events are very inspiring.

Hey GitLab, the 1970s called and want their sexism back: Saleswomen told to wear short skirts, heels and 'step it up'

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Joke

"Slack channel"

They need a "Short dress channel", clearly!

Oh buoy. Rich yacht bods' job agency leaves 17,000 sailors' details exposed in AWS bucket

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Megaphone

But I want a PORTHOLE!

Miss Switched-on Manager, 30 something, tasked us to build a porthole.

"A porthole" we responded.

"Yes a bloody porthole, a web porthole!"

You mean a portal?

No, a porthole!

True story.

SF tech biz forks out $146m in fines, settlements after painkiller makers bribed it to design medical software that pushed opioids to patients

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Pirate

The US health industry

You can't live with it, and you can't live without it.

BSOD Burgerwatch latest: Do you want fries with that plaintext password?

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Windows

Thanks for the article

That's just renewed my commitment to never eat in/at these places again.

Ding-dong. Who's there? Any marketing outfit willing to pay: Not content with giving cops access to doorbell cams, Ring also touts personal info

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I file this under "IOT"

I avoid all IOT tech.

Sounds creepy BTW.

Curse of Boeing continues: Now a telly satellite it built may explode, will be pushed up to 500km from geo orbit

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Alien

Where's the kaboom?

There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering kaboom!

Who honestly has a crown prince in their threat model? UN report officially fingers Saudi royal as Bezos hacker

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Pirate

Saudi hacking styles

Be careful which type you choose.

- The Bezos

- The Kashoggi

Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia accused of hacking Jeff Bezos' phone with malware-laden WhatsApp message

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Facepalm

Big enough

Is there a leaky boat large enough and an ocean wide enough to launch all of these tiresome actors?

The mysterious giant blobs of gas around our galaxy's black hole are actually massive merger stars being shredded

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Devil

"stars being stretched by the extreme tidal forces around the black hole."

Oh, like BREXIT then....

Apple calls BS on FBI, AG: We're totally not dragging our feet in murder probe iPhone decryption. PS: No backdoors

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Devil

"points to some kind of strategy on the part of Barr and the FBI"

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Astroboffins discover Sun is surfing on 9,000-light-year gas wave that acts as Milky Way's stellar nursery

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Happy

Forget bringing a towel when hitch hiking the galaxy

Maybe we should all have a surf board

Pack your bags! NASA's latest exoplanet hunter satellite finds its first Earth-sized world in a habitable zone – and it's only 100 light years away

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Alien

TOI 700 d citizens, having realised they've been rumbled...

...now working on solar system relocation technology.

This page is currency unavailable... Travelex scrubs UK homepage, kills services, knackers other sites amid 'software virus' infection

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Coat

Cash converters

Haven't used one of those cash desks since the early 80s.

And then only in an emergency.

Pickpocket -->

Google security engineer says she was fired for daring to remind Googlers they do indeed have labor rights

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Alert

As imperfect as the union model is

It sure beats the US style wage slave system.

It's 2019 so, of course, this Wells Fargo employee accused of stealing customer cash posed with wads of dosh on Instagram, Facebook

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Devil

Finally, a decent use-case for social media!

1. Self reporting of crimes by the stupid

Put the crypt into cryptocoin: Amid grave concerns, lawyers to literally dig into exchange exec who died owing $190m

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FAIL

Investors were fooled

The minute they bought into crypto-nothing-coin

Londoner admits illegally accessing National Lottery accounts

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Trollface

Sentencing scratch tickets

Match three symbols to learn your sentencing period.

3 Con men = 5 years

3 Locks and keys = 10 years

3 Bowls of gruel = 15 years

All tickets are winners!

100 mysterious blinking lights in the night sky could be evidence of alien life... or something weird, say boffins

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Alien

Roxanxyzxxllx

You don't have to put on your red light...

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