Posts by Winkypop

Smart glasses are only smart if we train them to be good. Then they'll be fantastic

Visual and auditory warnings essential

Wearer must don a cap with a rotating orange light.

Wear a hi-vis coat with the words “PLONKER” written on it. Front and back.

Carry a bullhorn and announce “PLONKER COMING THROUGH” on repeat.

A man walking in front with a red lantern or flag is also recommended.

The Future is for Billionaires – the rest of us will get open weight AI models, maybe

It’s thinking Jim

But not as we know it.

Zuck can get lost.

‘Humans will be a rounding error on the internet’ says Cloudflare exec

So

How long until human internet traffic is considered a virus and is eradicated by our AI Overlords?

News Corp labels some AI companies 'crass kleptomaniacs'

“quality content from News Corp”

The Murdochs have been a stain on this planet for well over a hundred years.

NASA puts astronauts’ lives in the hands of Tesla’s flaky Cybertruck

Re: Tesla Pre-Cooking Service.

New version of Spam in a can

NASA boss balks at billion-dollar estimate for recycled Moon rover

Re: Refurbish and reuse LRV

They thought of that but recent hi res imaging shows that someone (thing) has nicked the wheels.

LinkedIn realizes its users have been bathing in AI slop, offers a shower

An AI slop button?

Wouldn’t it be more efficient to have a ‘this looks like it’s NOT AI slop’ button?

Americans give all-day school phone bans a ringing endorsement

Anyone else experiencing EL Reg comments dropping out?

Just me?

Signals are grim for Jodrell Bank Observatory after UK science funding decision

But, but….

Jodrell Bank is a national treasure.

I mean, Dr Who was there and all.

Surely that’s reason alone to keep it fully funded.

Pope's official prayer app commits cardinal sin, leaks 700K+ users' info

Personal Information

No big deal.

Doesn’t the Big Guy already know when you’ve been naughty or nice?

Oh sorry, wrong imaginary being.

ChatGPT wants access to your health records so it can be a better not-doctor

Or

They’ve been covertly accessing this data for a while now and they’re just looking for retrospective permission.

Sovereign AI is 'nonsense,' says Doctorow

Unwinningest

Common enough Seppo doggerel.

Major glitch in Matrix as UK government projects watchdog rates shared services cluster red

Guys, it’s time to call in the experts

Birmingham Council

SpaceX Starship Flight Test 13 takes issue with the 'flight' bit

Oh dear, what can the matter be?

Silly old rocket man, stuck in recovery.

NTP server that traveled back in time caused massive Aussie mobile outage

At the third stroke it will be 2006

Precisely.

Welsh Doxbin admin jailed for egging on swatters from behind a screen

Does he float?

Put a carrot on his nose!

Australia demands AI companies must produce more energy than they consume, stop ‘theft’ of content

Send the Tech Bros off-world to capture and return more water/ice

On second thought, just sending the Tech Bros off-world would suffice.

How do you solve a problem like Capita?

Re: Oh Hokey Pokey!

OK KOKEY

Lucky 13: SpaceX aims for July 16 Starship flight test

It will definitely fly!

But the big question is: Will it all fly in the same direction?

Slothful summer app lets you scroll simply by tilting your head

What

Fresh new hell is this?

It's an AI web, and we're just rats in the walls

Agree, it is profoundly sad

More sad than many understand.

We are clearly being led by descendants of the B Ark.

UK.gov withholds £10M payment from Capita over pensions project fiasco, as dispute continues

£9.9 million, blimey!

There goes the Executive Luncheon this month.

Guys, it’s getting serious.

Moody Bible Institute breach leaves 2.3M accounts needing salvation, says cyber expert

Gosh darn it

If only they had an all-seeing deity that could have seen this coming.

Oh well.

God leaks in mysterious ways.

AI bills are baffling the C-suite after shift to usage-based pricing

As Doc Neeson of the Angels once sang…

Take a long line

Take a long line

Take a long, long, long, long line

Reel him in

India gives WhatsApp three days to defend username rollout amid security fears

I read “WhatsApp”

I think Scam.

Trump-shuttered climate change site back online in nonprofit hands

Re: Life after Trump

Somewhat intelligent?

I’m on the couch about that (yuck)

Life after Trump

Let it be soon.

As another UK prime minister bites the dust, a contradictory tech legacy remains

Re: Shakespeare

Beat me to it.

Waymo hits the brakes after robotaxis keep missing the signs for freeway construction zones

Re: As I had Written About a Different (Non-Driving) AI ...

That was the first thing I thought of.

Firefox 152 understands 'Sssh!'

I (almost) live an ad-free life

If I can’t block adverts or avoid them, I don’t consume the associated content. Across all media types.

Advertising has become the Internet’s raison d'être these days. Content is a distant second.

UK AI hiring surges as firms seek people to babysit the bots

Will no one rid me of this turbulent staff?

It will be much quieter around here.

And the tea spoons will no longer go missing.

Fired IT worker jailed for 21 months after sabotaging old school district

Re: U wot?

It must be some of the missing “U”s from the recent habit of US spelling.

Brit workers waste nearly six hours a week 'botsitting'

In the past, you just had to do your job well

Now, it seems, you have to do your job AND the AI bots job well.

Progress.

Ransomware sends Illinois high school on an early summer vacation

Education under attack

That’s by design in the US.

Serious ISS air leak forces NASA astronauts to temporarily take shelter in Dragon capsule

“air leak”

Was it cabbage night again?

Trump pumps federal funds into coal plants in the name of energy security

Stuff the environment

Just make sure your Billionaire secret volcano lair is fitted with really efficient air scrubbers.

Obviously!

Council in UK's City of York outs hundreds of disabled residents with a single email blunder

“Didn’t know how many individuals were affected”

Really?

Any of the recipient’s certainly could.

Just count the exposed email addresses.

Palantir wins £9M contract to run UK firearms licensing: CIA-backed biz to hold gun, bomb, and poison records

Lord Sauron

We need another Isildur.

Benevolent dictator Zuck will give Meta staff 30-minute breaks from keylogging privacy assault

Retirement gets better every day

Ceased work in 2019 just before the great WFH and Teams assault began.

Watching from the sidelines as workplaces evolve into a version of THX1138 meets Logan’s Run.

Ring gets buzzed by class action for collecting visitors' faces without consent

Ding Dong

The girl with the big knockers is at the door.

Oh, you said FACIAL recognition, my bad.

Trump's AI E-(I)-O could let feds pick winners and losers

The mark of Trump

A guaranteed fail.

AIs don't like religion – particularly Jehovah's Witnesses, study claims

Best way to quell fervent religious annoyance

Tax them.

Let’s see how faithful they are when filling in the paperwork.

SpaceX scrubs Starship launch with seconds to go

I fully support Elon’s colony on Mars

Just as long as he personally takes charge of it.

I’d even be happy for him to be the first President of Barsoom.

“All hail his Muskiness! In Tesla we trust!”

Re: 5:30 pm CT

5:30 pm GoA time?

(Gulf of America)

Irish Rail writes down €50M after train IT project goes off the rails

It’s cost so much because everything was duplicated

To be sure, to be sure…

Minecraft-streaming gran swatted while raising cash for grandson's cancer care

So, let me guess

Grandma isn’t black.

Otherwise….

Those spared latest Meta job cuts forcibly reassigned to AI roles

However you spread the horse manure

It still stinks.

X limits hot takes from freeloaders to 50 a day

The toxic soup

Becomes even more concentrated.

Frustrated franchisee sues Pizza Hut over crappy kitchen AI

The food was cold?

I thought that was the whole point of these home delivery services.

X tells Ofcom it will finally check its moderation inbox

Windy

With a chance of airborne porcine.