Posts by Code Monkey

BOFH: Don't go changing on Friday evenings, I don't wanna work that hard

Re: Its a small change!

I try and get the "no Friday changes" ground rule in nice and early with new clients. Thankfully more of them aren't so wet behind the ears and are generally grateful that I've raised it.

Britain beats back Argies over Falklands online land grab

Re: Who is the 0.2%?

Yeah. They can .fk off.

Boffins create tiny holographic battery that fits INSIDE a chip

Re: Apple will love this!

I'm not so sure. Illegitimately stating this seems to be working out ok for them.

404 Boss not found — Bye bye ICANN CEO Chehade

404?

302 moved permanently, Shirley?

ZX Spectrum 'Hobbit' revival sparks developer dispute

Re: Mondegreen

Rule 34 says you probably can see it.

Are we looking at the first domain name meme? Neigh

Down with this sort of thing

It's Eurovision week* so it's a shame mylovely.horse is just a holding page.

* in some households, not mine

You say you want a musical revolution. Actually, have three

Re: I think hip-hop saved the charts

Grunge was nothing revolutionary; just another flavour of rock music.

Debian ships new 'Jessie' release with systemd AND sysvinit

The "self-censorship" (and liberal use of NSFW in other articles) is a courtesy to those employees of corporations with a puritanical view of appropriate reading.

Junk in your trunk is Amazon Germany's new delivery plan

Re: Insurance

This is less of an insurance hazard than giving the keys to a garage for an MOT or repairs. Whether the insurance companies agree - or, as some commenters suggest, spy an excuse to put a zero on the end of my premiums - is another matter.

Fed-up Colorado man takes 9mm PISTOL to vexing Dell PC

He was a homeopathy fan. Maybe his herbal tea had seen a picture of some methamphetamine.

Ubuntu 15.04 to bring 'Vivid' updates for cloud, devices this week

"Vivid Vervet"

Will the next version rhyme with "Lanky Walrus"?

Mortal Kombat: Brawler gaming's quintessential gorefest

I liked Jonnhy Cage's do-the-splits-gonad-punch the best.

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Tortilla de patatas

I side with the purists here or at least the (possibly slightly pongy) pro-onion camp. Tortilla de patatas is a supremely tasty example of less is more.

Philip Glass tells all and Lovelace and Babbage get the comic novel treatment

Re: Stick with Four Lions

It's big flaw was not being quite as funny as Chris Morris's tv work - a standard which leaves plenty of room to still be funny. I laughed most of the way through and the ending was superb. Well worth a revisit from me as well.

The Internet of things is great until it blows up your house

Re: Um...

That 1-6 setting sounds ominously toaster-like.

Aged 18-24? Don't care about voting? Got a phone? Oh dear...

There are any number of fun ways to spoil your ballot, which is most likely what I'll be doing. Every time I vote for someone who gets in to Government they make me regret it by rubber stamping a neo-Con attack on the poor, disabled, etc.; or lying to the nation so they can kill thousands of Iraqis.

People are still dying to get the vote so I feel obliged to use it, but I don't feel obliged to use it on any of the current shower.

Trying to sell your house? It'd better have KILLER mobile coverage

"It remains to be seen if estate agents will lie about mobile coverage details on their property pitches."

Fixed that for you.

METRE-LONG DINOSAUR POO going under the hammer

It's nuggets (no pun intended) like this that keep me coming back to this site.

Re: Never mind the quality and length

From the picture the girth of the dinocronk is unimpressive. I doubt it's even a third of a lingiune.

NASA: ALIENS and NEW EARTHS will be ours inside 20 years

Re: Promises, promises

It will also be the year of Linux on the desktop. What a year that'll be!

Canuck reader threatens suicide over exact dimensions of SPAAAACE!

There is one "a" in space. There are many in "spaaaace"

This means "spaaaace", "spaaaaace", etc. are valid.

Quick Q: How many FLOPPIES do I need for 16 MILLION image files?

Service Pack 3

A salesman once asked me for Service Pack 3 for NT4 on floppy. I printed off some labels, stuck them on 56 spare floppy disks and dumped the lot on his desk.

Improbable: YOU gave model Lily Cole £200k for her Impossible.com whimsy-site

I wish ...

I wish UK govt had spent this money on nurses or something.

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! Friday is Pi Day

Re: Like so many other web stories, this only applies to America.

In America Pi is 14.3 ... IIRC ours is different because of the metric system.

Netflix needling you? BBC pimps up iPlayer ahead of BBC3 move

Re: Yay for iPlayer!

I like the old version, but breaking up the Factual monolith can only be a good thing (for me at least)

Microsoft to push out penultimate XP patch on March Patch Tuesday

You can take Windows XP from my cold, dead, smeared over the dashboard hands.

Distro diaspora: Four flavours of Ubuntu unpacked

Re: Gubuntu

I imagine RMS would've had strong words if they'd chosen Gnubuntu

Ever get the impression a telesales op was being held prisoner?

It's a great way of getting the "work doesn't pay" message across

Insecure hipsters with BEARD ENVY spur facial hair transplant craze

Re: I can't keep up

I was shaving my ass like baboons before it was cool.

Booze and bacon sarnies: A recipe for immortality?

Re: Nobel prize incoming

Bacon is a superfood, but let's keep it quiet. As soon as the Graun set get hold of this, prices will rocket.

NHS England tells MPs: 'The state isn't doing dastardly things with GP medical records'

Re: What do you want from the NHS

This is not about mistrusting the healthcare professionals. It's mistrusting the management wonks - either now or in a few governments' time who will flog this off to the highest bidder.

Sooner or later they will fuck the nation over massively with this. They will.

Re: "Start the slurping and we'll do the "code of conduct" later."

And this is exactly why I've opted out. Not that I'd trust these bastarts with a code of practice either.

[dons tinfoil hat]

Micro Men: The story of the syntax era

Ha! Splendid!

My career, mediocre as it is, is another that began in the 80s with a Spectrum. As such I never knew Sir Clive but his protrayal seemed a wee bit OTT.

Granted our industry is filled with ... highly-strung people but OTT all the same.

China's censors censor press censorship report

"Australia fared best in 28th"

I would suggest that 27 countries fared better.

Google Glassholes, GET OFF our ROADS, thunder lawmakers in seven US states

Re: So does this ban smart-watches?

Whether we need a law or not, we'll probably get one. Blair started banning things that were already banned and the current lot continue to do so.

Somehting to do with being seen to do someting.

Volunteers slam plans to turn Bletchley Park into 'geeky Disneyland'

I look forward to them telling the story of how the Americans cracked the Enigma code.

Do you wear specs? Google Glass offers YOU amazing live HD video

Re: De gustibus…

They make you look like a great, shining bell.

Candy Crush dev stuffs EU 'candy' trademark down gob

One side-effect is we'll have to go back to calling them "sweets".

I approve.

Naked Aussie gets wedged in washing machine

Worthy of the Northern Territory News. Colleague from Darwin is delighted to hear of more southerly Aussies being so dumb.

Excise Xmas prezzie indecision MISERY with El Reg’s gift guide²

Re: washable keyboard?

I can think of quite a few people who could use a washable keyboard.

Stop sniggering at the back!

OMG, Andrex killed the puppey! Not quilty, exclaim bog roll boys

Re: Online toilet paper lovers?

Anything that doesn't feel like tracing paper/sandpaper and your finger doesn't go through will do for me.

If you want an IT job you'll need more than a degree, say top techies

Re: The first hurdle....

Indeed. I'm in my 40s and halfway through a degree now - despite having worked on the internet since the 90s.

What is thy bidding? Han Solo’s shooter goes under the hammer

Re: Excellent timing

"What this old thing? Just £5 on Well Known Auction Site (tm)"

Super-stealth FLYING CAR prototype seen outside GOOGLE HQ

So having provided a cyberpunk dystopia, Google are moving on to more optimistic sci-fi.

The ULTIMATE cuppa showdown: And the winner is...

Re: Taking the tea,

12 mugs of tea sounds reasonable to me. If I spent, say a Saturday at home I'll easily get through 7 or 8 pints mugs of tea before "caffeine lasites" (sometimes aka pub o'clock).

Re: Earl Grey - VOTE NOW

A qualified +1 there - for mug size only.

Clipper was my tea of choice till I overcame my "cultural" aversion to Yorkshire Tea about 18 months ago.

As long as you avoid the cheaper supermarket varieties I reckon how you make a cuppa has more bearing than the choice of tea. Though FWIW my vote's for Yorkshire Tea.

Vladimir PUTIN officially HARDER than CHUCK NORRIS

@Ledswinger "Friday afternoon journalism" - was Re: Wrong Art - Chuck's 9th Dan too.

I'm all for Friday afternoon journalism. In fact I'd like it all week long.