Posts by Michael H.F. Wilkinson

Search for phone signal caused oil spill, say Japanese investigators

Re: Wow

Just after the cruise ship capsized a new line of t-shirts appeared in stores nearby, with "Vade a bordo, cazzo", as I recall

A-bloody-mazing!

At least the captain of the Titanic had the excuse that icebergs don't show up on maps, and don't stay put, unlike, oh, I don't know, a bleedin' coral reef! Who would expect one of those in the vicinity of an island in the tropics?!

OSIRIS-REx successfully delivers NASA's first asteroid sample

Re: Typical delivery courier

with the small furry creatures (who some say aren't REAL small furry creatures anymore, not like when they were young)?

I'll get me coat

No, no, no! Disco joke hit bum note in the rehab center

Could be worse, of course

Status Quo's 4500 times would last considerably longer (around 10 minutes), and then there's 2112 by Rush at just over 20 minutes.

BOFH: A security issue, you say? Activate code tangerine

Re: CODE TANGERINE

Absolutely. It was either going to be a hapless beancounter, but much more likely the boss

Wonderful episode once again!

"A man who – more than once – glued a tinfoil cutout of a pistol between the pages of the Boss's journal when he knew he had an upcoming flight."

Brilliant detail

Chap blew up critical equipment on his first day – but it wasn't his volt

Re: "They're able to plug any lead into any socket."

I have observed people forcing a VGA plug into a VGA socket the wrong way round. Needless to say it didn't work. Nor did it after they put it in the right way round the next time. Somehow pins had been mysteriously broken.

PEBCAK problem transformed young techie into grizzled cynical sysadmin

Re: Assumption

"... are talking about the same app."

Or indeed inhabit the same planet

Excellent XKCD reference, BTW

BOFH: What a beautiful tinfoil hat, Boss!

Re: ECO DECT

Shaken, not stirred, of course!

Re: ECO DECT

The phrase "homeopathic doctor" reminds me of a paper I once wrote for Annals of Improbable Research on a quantum mechanical interpretation of homeopathy, arguing it might work as long as you never look. The doctor must therefore never see his patient again. A pre-print is here.

Re: A classic episode

Absolutely. Sheer genius. I assume the PFY's final thesis was on database normalisation warnings.

LibreOffice 7.6 arrives: Open source stalwart is showing its maturity

Re: long-form writers...

I still work in LaTeX, and most if not all computer science journals I submit to allow LaTeX, although Word templates are usually available as well. Especially with online collaborative tools like Overleaf, multi-author editing works flawlessly in LaTeX, whereas opening a docx file on a machine with a slightly different install of Office can cause all sorts of changes in layout, and you are suddenly over the page limit for the journal (this was a while ago, maybe Office 365 solves these issues). My last few encounters with journals or books that wanted docx format were not pleasant experiences, especially because I need to use a lot of equations, and need to refer to them easily. Word is fine for many simpler things, but I have sworn never to submit any of my scientific writing in Word. It is not worth the aggravation.

BOFH: Zen and the art of battery replacement

Elegant solution ...

to the problem of battery replacement

Profitable too.

I'll drink to that

Which would probably lead to a database normalisation warning

BOFH: WELCOME TO COLOSSAL SERVER ROOM ADVENTURE!!

Re: Spoiler alert - game solution

Unless of course the halon (still in use in any BOFH outfit) kills you first

Next move: KZZZEEERRRT!

BOFH: You can be replaced by a robot or get your carbon footprint below Big Dave's

froid should be frood (bloody autocorrect)

Lovely episode once more

Really cheered me up this rainy day.

On a philosophical note: does drinking alcohol also count as carbon sequestration? Methinks it is time for an experiment.

Max was definitely a cool froid who really knew where his towel was.

BOFH: Lies, damned lies, and standards

Association of Servicepeople for Software and Hardware Over the Lifetime of Equipment.

Sheer genius once more!

Brits negotiating draft deal to rejoin EU's $100B blockbuster science programme

I just hope

I can collaborate with many good friends and colleagues in the UK as easily as I could before.

BOFH: Cough up half a grand and we'll protect you from AI

True enough, but with all the database normalization warnings and the problems with windows installs, first aid is generally pointless. Old carpets and quicklime trump bandages and disinfectant.

Techie wasn't being paid, until he taught HR a lesson

Re: Proof if needed

"Screwsmith" is a brilliant word. I can imagine the BOFH list "Master Screwsmith" on his CV (would that make the PFY "Assistant Screwsmith?). The screws in question would be thumbscrews, of course. Beancounters and HR-droids would be screwsmiths of the other kind

Re: Proof if needed

But automatic screw-ups are so much more efficient than manual ones. Besides, manual screw-ups are so last century, although they can be lovingly tailored to each individual victim

BOFH: Good news, everyone – we're in the sausage business

Re: CMOT Dibbler

But not named "Rex" ;-)

Brilliant episode

I was half expecting the BOFH to quickly set up a company in AI working at the tera- or exa-spandrel level, and grabbing some cash, but the sausage factory twist is brilliant. The ending hints a bit at the sausages in question being of the CMOT Dibbler quality level.

Tea-soaked keyboard issue here as well

Scientists claim >99 percent identification rate of ChatGPT content

Interesting stuff

Apart from the caveats raised by the authors of the study, there is of course the issue of how ChatGPT and its ilk will develop, and we may be locked in a perpetual arms race between educators wanting to test writing skills of students, and increasingly sophisticated tools for students to hide their lack of said skills. A similar arms race may develop between editors of journals and authors on production and assessment of original work. Educators at least have the last resort of the written exam, in controlled conditions, but as editor of a journal it is going to be very hard to detect AI-generated text from original writing of the authors whose name is on the front page of a paper. Style changes would not necessarily mean much in multi-authored papers, as different people may be the main author of different parts.

AI tools are certainly not going to go away. We need to learn to live with them

We live in interesting times

BOFH: Get me a new data file or your manager finds out exactly what you think of him

Re: Oh the pain!

I actually recently encountered a site with help/FAQ page where after clicking "read more" on a particular item sent you "back" to the help/FAQ page you just read.

Various sweary words somehow emanated from my office.

Nice plot twist at the end

the way Simon plays the sympathy card, let's the poor guy blab, and then sticks the knife in and gives it a good twist.

And when he gets the new version, without license requirements, I wonder if Simon will get a regular invoice sent to the beancounters (for annual license upgrades) payable to the BOFH Beer Fund (through a Cayman Island bank account)?

Owner of 'magic spreadsheet' tried to stay in the Lotus position until forced to Excel

Re: ping

Or alternatively, the machine that goes "ping"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wshyX6Hw52I

BOFH: Ah. Company-branded merch. So much better than a bonus

"Hmmm … a box of matches and a tin of petrol?"

Sheer genius. Nice to see the PFY is so thoroughly prepared for any eventuality, down to the tin of isopropyl alcohol (WTCLOI) under his desk. Simon taught him well.

Now I am torn between the keyboard sprayed with tea and the flame icon

Pixies keep switching off my morning alarm, says Google Pixel owner

Re: If your life seems like Groundhog Day

I use "Good Morning" by Blackfoot, and "Chop Suey" from System of a Down, in particular when staying at hotels. The missus tended to object. Can't think why

BOFH takes a visit to retro computing land

Tractor beam on!

Fancy an Adaptec 2940UW SCSI control, Viking Quantum-II hard disk, and an iOmega ZIPdrive with SCSI port? I also have an Adaptec 1542 somewhere.

I also just found an original 8" floppy disk (128 kB storage) of Digital Research CP/M 2.0 in my Pit of Despair. Please enter bids now

BOFH: We send a user to visit Kelvin – Keeper of the Batteries

Re: Keep the Frogs happy.

I actually have a sugar thermometer which only uses the Reaumur scale. Freezing point of water = 0 °R, boiling point 80 °R. Get that wrong and that is one load of burnt fudge

"I think I'd rather have laparoscopic dentistry,"

Just brilliant. As is "Kelvin - Keeper of the Batteries"

BOFH: The Board members are looking very ill these days

Re: Openings in forestry

But more carpets and quicklime might be needed

Openings in forestry

I suppose the openings are roughly grave-sized, and perhaps slightly wider for the more obese board members?

Microsoft and GM deal means your next car might talk, lie, gaslight and manipulate you

Re: Clippy

It could also do a Marvin the Paranoid Android variation:

"I think you ought to know I am feeling very depressed."

or

"I have a terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side"

once ChatGPT get the GPP feature

This could also make your car doors generate an intolerable air of smugness just before opening (or closing in the happy knowledge of a job well done)

I'll get me coat

(Doffs hat to the late, great Douglass Adams)

BOFH: I care a lot ... about onion bhajis

Superb episode

Now for some advanced insensitivity training!

(insensitivity to alcohol, that is)

Re: Ssh Window

Indeed, just waiting for that Database Normalisation Warning to pop up.

BOFH: The PFY has won an award … for outstanding service?

Brilliant episode, once more

101 uses of ChatGPT. There should be an award for that

BOFH: Generating a report the Director can show the Board – THIS is what AI was made for

Very timely episode

How long before interaction with the BOFH and PFY turn ChatGPT into its (more) evil alter egos ChatBOFH and ChatPFY?

I'll get me coat

Microsoft tells people to prepare for AI search engine that goes Bing!

Re: Two things always come to me when I hear bing

And then there is the machine that goes "ping"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKodtNFpzBA

I'll get me coat

BOFH and the case of the Zoom call that never was

Re: Far too close to home

Absolutely, I have had far too many fruitless discussions along these lines, not just about zoom meetings. A red haze does sometimes descend, but no need for body bags, ...

so far

Re: One Of The Best BOFHs Ever

Certainly a contender. I love the implied threat at the end. Case closed, indeed.

Microsoft Defender ASR rules strip icons, app shortcuts from Taskbar, Start Menu

Seems an almost BOFH-like trick

It does fit his dictum that fewer users running things on his network results in fewer problems. Although Simon would prefer to remove users (physically) from the network, to keep systems running smoothly, rather than removing office apps.

BOFH: It's 4ft tall, heavyset, has optional fax. No they didn't take the toner!

Lovely episode once more.

I'll raise a premium import lager (or two) to that

BOFH and the office security access upgrade

Sheer absolute genius!

Lovely, lovely, lovely! The true BOFH Xmas spirit. I'll raise my glass to that.

ChatGPT has mastered the confidence trick, and that's a terrible look for AI

Re: Coding for morality?

I thought it was "Power corrupts, absolute power is even more fun"