* Posts by Chris Hainey

27 publicly visible posts • joined 30 Sep 2008

Microsoft hits new low: Threatens to axe classic Paint from Windows 10

Chris Hainey

If this leads to the end of Jim'll Paint It, Microsoft are going to have a riot on their hands

LHC finds a new and very charming particle: the Xicc++ baryon

Chris Hainey

The 2017 Proton Billiards season has started well then

SpaceX wows world with a ho-hum launch of a reused rocket, landing it on a tiny boring barge

Chris Hainey

Re: "(Either that or he's not joking about the white cat, and super-villain volcano lair)"

Half Life 3 confirmed?

German Chancellor fires hydrogen plasma with the push of a button

Chris Hainey

Igor, Raise ze lighnink rod

These labs should all be powered in this way, and have big red levers to start ze devices, not buttons...

Buttons are just so amateur.

Ex-Microsoft man plans brand of consumer marijuana 'fine cigars'

Chris Hainey

The only real option should be...

404 brand

I couldn't find my own arse with an atlas after a few blasts

flame for, well... how else are you going to light up?

BOFH: The back-up backdown smackdown

Chris Hainey

Back on form

My colleagues are all looking at me wondering why I have coffee coming from my eyes

CERN catches a glimpse of Higgs-like boson

Chris Hainey


Lester didn't get to give an alliterative rundown of events in the latest proton billiards experiment?

Shame on you El Reg.

James May 'hologram' raves about old tech at Science Museum

Chris Hainey

Re: "... a Fresnel lens is essentially an array of prisms."

You utter bastard. I have that bloody song stuck in my head now

Indiana cops arrest violent 6-year-old

Chris Hainey

Re: @voland


How can we expect kids to behave in class and become model citizens when the teaching volunteers spell worse than 5 year olds.

Some kids just don't want to do the same things in school as others.

Little shits : maybe but these are the little shits that are disrupting my child's classes.

Mail Online is broken

Chris Hainey

The ultimate Hate and Fear Apoplexy headline

Peadophiles Cause Cancer!

But the immortal rule remains, if the DM headline is a question, the answer is ALWAYS no.

BOFH: Where's my free fondleslab?

Chris Hainey

Got the jokes

They just weren't very funny

Chris Hainey

The only thing that can be said here is

Worst. Episode. Ever.

Social networks likely to snub Home Office in riot confab

Chris Hainey

Don't just call the heads of...

Facebook, Twitter, Blackberry etc.

Get the likes of Nike, Adidas, etc in front of the Home Sec as well.

Their products were used during the riots by these little scallywags as well... Probably more efeectively than Social Media

Sandi Toksvig puts the 'n' into cuts - on the Beeb

Chris Hainey

Sandi Toksvig could be punished for

Not sure, but I'm pretty sure there have been a few naff jokes over the years worthy of groaning complaint

Chris Hainey

Point still missed...

From what I heard on this, no offensive words were ACTUALLY said, other than "Tory".

Simply implying a word or using suggestive innuendo is not, and never will be swearing.

It was said with humorous intent and worked. Obviously the Daily Hate and Fear reader has had their statutory sense of humour bypass completed and the overwhelming sense of moral outrage translplanted instead.

Also, the absurdity of your use of Shit in a post complaining about the shock value iof a word which was not said defies all logic.


Total Recall rehash – exit Martians, enter Jessica Biel

Chris Hainey

Re: Leave It Be

Jonny Cab is rumoured to be played by Ed Miliband

/ The one with the mutant friendly pockets

Avast alert finds WHOLE WEB malign

Chris Hainey

So, Avast goes all Grandpa Simpson on us:


No, Grandpa, that's Google


No, Grandpa, that's El Reg


No Grandpa that's Google again


BOFH: In distributed denial

Chris Hainey

Bloody fantastic

Back on form Simon. Where have you been?

Mozilla spills plan for, yes, Firefox 4

Chris Hainey


... will this fix the memory hogging issues of 3.6.3?

Large Hadron Collider to fire up again next Thursday

Chris Hainey

2nd paragraph...

Lewis, you owe me a keyboard

2010 Proton billiards indeed.

Lots of young adults still sexting shock

Chris Hainey

Won't somebody...

... Think of the chil - oh, wait a minute...

Pentagon world-sim tool making good progress, say profs

Chris Hainey
Thumb Up

So, not unlike...

... futuristic massive game of Civ then?

Phorm phading phast

Chris Hainey

One word...


Boeing sets (another) date for first Dreamliner flight

Chris Hainey

This man deserves to be fired...

... out of a cannon in to the sun for the following:-

"However, Pat Shanahan, 787 program vice president, assured: "We're laser focused on what needs to be done to prepare for first flight. We will overcome this set of circumstances as we have others in the past, and we understand clearly what needs to be done moving forward."

laser focused AND moving forward in the same short blurb...

Why do people still insist on using these horrific buzzword phrases?

Learn to use the English language properly


UK ramps up health über-database

Chris Hainey

Not too sure...

... how this is a good thing when viruses (we hope computer related) can wipe out 3 London hospitals for almost 2 weeks...

Although a nationwide database of medical records can only be a benefit if you fall ill away from home and need medical attention where your details and any specific medical issues you may have are easily accessible from a central database, we only have to wonder how long it is before some F*cktard from the NHS leaves a copy on a train somewhere for all of our ailments to be advertised on the internet for Phorm to spam us for better treatments from everything from pile ointments to cheaper opiate based painkillers for backpain...

The white one please with the stethoscope in the pocket

Reg competition: Cisco goes isup

Chris Hainey

How about...

Cisco cleans up in t-cut merger?

the messy overalls covered in car paint please?