Posts by Magani

F-35's dodgy software in the spotlight again

Anyone seen the rabbit hole?

ALIS is meant to "diagnose mechanical problems, order and track replacement parts, and guide maintenance crews through repairs. It also allows pilots to plan missions and later review their performance."

Let me get my head around this. In a one-app-fits-all kind of scenario, they've designed an inventory management system and combined it with a flight planning application, a system monitoring application and a performance review ability. Awesome! Someone please tell me that there's an Easter Egg of Angry Birds somewhere under the 'About ALIS' menu option.

Talk about feature creep. Utter madness.

It would seem that someone's view of ALIS was originally Through The Looking Glass.

Australia admits to running offensive cyber-ops team

"...through private and public sector information sharing..."

I take this to mean open slather on anyone who collects data from Fred Public (Tweetter, FarceBork, MickeySoft, Giggle, etc) and can be coerced into giving it to the gummint.

George Orwell would be pleased.

Utah declares 'war on smut'

"the Mormon state had the highest proportion of grumble-flick subscribers in America"

See what religion will do to you? Must think about creating one of my own, possibly with a pasta theme?

Tech support becomes Australia's number one scam

"I am not a scammer..."

The sub-continentals are still at it.

A phone call yesterday at Chez Magani:

Me: Hello?

<about 4 seconds of silence while the demon dialer gets the next available scammer (S)>

S: May I speak to Mr Magani?

Me: Speaking.

S: Hi. My name is Steve and I'm calling you from the Australian Federal Government department of Refund Finance. You have been found to be owed money by the ...

Me: Steve, what department of the government do you work for?

S: The Refund Finance Department.

Me: Steve, the Australian Federal Government doesn't have a Refund Finance Department, so I'm calling you a scammer and will now hang up.

S: <Yelling in background> I AM NOT A SCAMMER! I AM NOT A....

<click>

I would have played with him longer but we had a friend around for coffee. Pity, as I would have loved to have found out how much the Refund Finance Department was going to give me.

AMC sobers up, apologizes for silly cinema texting plan

@John 104

"What are they going to do? Patrol the isles and ask people to leave? Not likely."

Not necessary. After being the target of the odd bit of popcorn and calls from the darkness of "Turn your bl**dy phone off", hopefully the transgressor will get the message.

Czech Republic to rebrand

Are we having a second April Fool's Day this year?

Flying Finns arm octocopter with chainsaw

Texas Chainsaw Massacre...

...is now Finnish (ed)

Tesla books over $8bn in overnight sales claims Elon Musk

Timing??

"The new car went on sale on Thursday night ..."

Funny, but I could have sworn that all you could do was put down a deposit to reserve a place in a queue. To my simple mind, this does not qualify as a "sale".

Elon Musk takes wraps off planet-saving Model 3 vapourmobile

Re: Interesting - Just hope the dates match up.

@Timmy B

"...it still has wheels and breaks..."

One would hope that the breakages would be covered by warranty, though?

French scream sacré bleu! as US govt gives up the internet to ICANN

Obvious, no?

"The consensus requirement only produces warm water. "

The aftermath of a conference where too much of the icon was imbibed?

Dodgy software will bork America's F-35 fighters until at least 2019

Can someone please...

...tell me again why Australia is still funding this flying disaster?

At least the Canadians saw the writing on the wall, but will its southern neighbour 'lean' on it to continue?

FBI channels Kafka with new rules on slurping Americans' private data

Are you a betting person?

"...it is possible that the rules governing the FBI's use of Section 702 data have actually been tightened, rather than loosened."

It's also possible that I'll win Gold Lotto next week. I'd give the same odds on both.

Bill Clinton killed off internet taxes, says Australian politician

Corrections and Clarifications Column

In a previous article, the sentence:

"Vulture South notes that even with 20 million 'net accounts in Australia in 2016, a "fraction of a cent" a year access tax only amounts to a few million dollars annually."

should have read:-

"Vulture South notes that even with 20 million 'net accounts in Australia in 2016, a "fraction of a cent" a megabyte access tax amounts to a motza annually."

"Pige" + "cat" + "ons"

(although I doubt your average Polly goes in for Rebuses)

Greybeard monobrow baldies rejoice! Boffins comb out hairy genes

A note to those with grey hair:-

You've still got hair.

Penguins don't have hair either.

We're doing SETI the wrong and long way around, say boffins

Re: Smarter than us

@AC

You forgot the 'Da-Da-Daaaaaah' at the end.

Raspberry Pi celebrates fourth birthday with fruity version 3

Re: MAME on TV

Why wouldn't Mame stream like any other musical?

I was a little concerned that it would suffer the same fate as the Pi Zero as another victim of The Australian Tax. (The Pi Zero was last seen here advertised for AUD19 or about £9.50 plus postage! Currently neither RS nor Elements 14 have it advertised.).

The good news seems to be that it's going to be between about AUD50 and AUD69, so I can live with at least the former.

To misquote Fleetwood Mac, "You Make Computin' Fun"

NBN rollout behind target, claims yet another leaked report

nbn™ : Good, Cheap, Fast - Pick any two^H^H^H^H one

This program can detect if you're bored – which is going to make annoying ads, articles so much more annoying

Solved?

Never, ever, turn on your PC's camera (or remove the Band-Aid that's covering it).

Works for me.

Oz defence to get $25 bn to spend on digital defences

The F-35 / JSF is unwanted and unsuitable

"The F-35 Joint Strike Fighter (JSF) has been a controversial purchase from the get-go..."

What a delightfully understated comment. It's late, massively over-budget and doesn't address our country's or region's needs in its mission profile. At least the Canadians have seen the light and scrubbed their involvement.

Slightly OT, but while I'm here, can we drop the US-ian word 'get-go' please? There's a perfectly suitable English word 'start' that even saves one letter in the process. If you want to go for impressive multi-syllable words, you could always try 'beginning'. Let's keep El Reg true to its UK (and Antipodean) roots!

Pilot posts detailed MS Flight Sim video of how to land Boeing 737

Re: Cat III is not your normal ILS

"Nope, it cuts out at 50 feet and expects the pilot to keep final control during flare and rollout."

I'll see your 'Nope' and raise you another 'Nope'.

"At the appropriate height above the ground (as indicated by the radio altimeter) the flight control computer will retard the throttles and initiate a pitch-up maneuver [sic]. The purpose of this "flare" is to reduce the energy of the aircraft such that it "stops flying" and settles onto the runway."

From Wikipedia - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autoland

(Yeah, I know it's Wikipedia, but it has quite a reasonable explanation.)

Also: "The lateral guidance from the ILS localiser would however be usable right to the end of the landing roll, and hence is used to feed the rudder channel of the autopilot after touchdown."

At no point does it say anything about pilot interaction being required for the flare or for maintaining the centreline during rollout.

There are different versions of 'autoland' which may be confusing some folk. What we are talking about here is Cat IIIC.

For further info, see:

https://www.quora.com/Aircraft/How-does-autoland-work-and-what-is-the-history-of-it

Cat III is not your normal ILS

"...when autoland cuts out at 500ft and how to use the steering when the control surfaces have stopped working!"

I suggest you go and look at the difference between a standard ILS approach and a Cat III autoland.

The autopilot does not cut out at 500', and the aircraft follows the localiser down the centreline even as the speed drops.

Google is your friend.

Telstra mobile in continental TITSUP

Hmmm

BOFH visiting Oz, is he?

Brit censors endure 10-hour Paint Drying movie epic

Re: Brilliant

I'm waiting for his next major work - Watching Grass Grow. I hear it's far more action-packed.

It's beer-o-clock somewhere...

Trump's new thought bubble: Make Apple manufacture in the USA

Corrections and Clarifications Column

In a recent article, the sentence ending:-

"... it builds in China because the local populace offers it skills not available in the USA."

should have read:-

"... it builds in China because the local populace offers it hourly rates not available in the USA."

Thank you.

Stanford boffins snuff out li-ion batt blaze risk

Isn't this a Band-aid solution much like Boeing's B787 'fix' in that it isolates but doesn't solve the problem of self-immolating LiIon batteries.

As mentioned above, batteries that go on holidays when they get all hot and flustered are not really of any great use,

BoMed: Oz weather bureau network struggles to its feed

Encore??

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2015/12/02/report_fingers_china_for_assault_on_australian_weather_supercomputer/

Oz gummint's miserly data retention cash-splash launched

Acronyms R Us

Data Retention Implementation Plans (DRIPs).

Highly appropriate given the state of IT understanding under the grass roof at the centre of Parliament Drive.

Bloke sues dad who shot down his drone – and why it may decide who owns the skies

Re: Practicalities

"But when a drone goes through... your precious Corsa..."

Pay rates for airframe drivers seemed to have slipped in the UK, then?

Re: In dispute?

"While everyone is bickering over ownership the Chinese are busy building runways in the sky."

And on reclaimed land in the South China Sea...

Foetuses offered vaginal music streaming service

Cue baby's first words...

"Who the !@#$% chose that bloody playlist?"

LogMeIn adds emergency break-in feature to LastPass

Why does it need 'improving'?

...“large website icons, simpler navigation, and bolder colours”

Just what I don't need in a program that currently is unobtrusive and works well in the background, are large icons and bright colours.

"Simpler Navigation"?? Can't say I've ever had any navigation problems.

Is this a case of LogMeIn 'improving' a product to the point of losing clients?

I'll wait and see, but as a LastPass Premium user for the last few years (and given LogMeIn's previous antics), I suspect a replacement password manager may be looming on my horizon.

Any ideas for a replacement??

Black chopper because I too have problems with their 'Emergency Access'.

There's an epidemic of idiots who can't find power switches

Rocky Memories

"Dan had negotiated for two nights in [Rockhampton]..."

He has my condolences. I had 3 years there in what was then a boys' school on The Range. There was an old joke:-

In this raffle, first prize is a week in Rockhampton. Second prize is two weeks in Rockhampton...

The Register's Australian technology headline predictions … for 2017!

"STEM replaced by STEAM" where A = Arts

Huh?

The next thing you'll be telling us is that a B.A. is equal to a B.Sc. or a B.Eng.

Bah and (of course,) Humbug!!

The liberal arts are for those who can't get a high enough GPA/TE/ATAR/Whatever-they're-called-this-year score.

I will now repair to the Magani-bunker to await the incoming wrath of telephone sanitisers, hairdressers and HR managers.

ACCC says Trans-Pacific Partnership's IP bits will hurt competition and consumers

The meaning of a Fair Trade Agreement as defined by our major 'partner' on the other side of the Pacific:-

'You play ball with us, and we'll stick the bat right up your donkey <euphemism>'

Windows 10 now on 75 million devices, says Microsoft

In other news...

Microsoft announced that 75,000,000 users help in the world's largest beta test for a new OS.

Gas giant cores actually built from shedloads of gravel

This must come as a surprise...

...to Slartibartfast.

Regulator okays Optus exit from HFC network

What's going to happen?

As a current Optus cable customer, I'm really happy with my current plan.

Does anyone have any idea ('cos Optus won't say) what happens when I get 'given' to the NBN. Are all deals off or ???

Penguins are curious.

Pakistan wants to copy GCHQ and eavesdrop on world+dog's comms

Re: Due diligence

"... advises foreign companies selling surveillance equipment to “do their due diligence” and to stipulate human rights guarantees in their contracts"

I suspect any guarantees will become null and void the moment the surveillance kit gets handed over, It's a SPY AGENCY. Regardless of origin, when have they ever taken any notice of human rights?

Brandis' metadata retention recipe doesn't prohibit USB drives stored in a garden shed

I foresee a 'Yes Minister' moment in an ISP's future

James Hacker: [reads memo] This file contains the complete set of papers, except for a number of secret documents, a few others which are part of still active files, some correspondence lost in the floods of 1967...

James Hacker: Was 1967 a particularly bad winter?

Sir Humphrey Appleby: No, a marvellous winter. We lost no end of embarrassing files.

Norks execute underperforming terrapin farm manager

Re: Putting aside the absurdity of the punishment...

Terrapin Farm + Nuclear ambitions = Teenage Mutant Ninja Terrapins?

Australian government mulls secret terror court proposals

Ideas? What ideas?

"so who is giving the Australian Government all these ideas?"

I think it's the other members of the Five Eyes or whatever they're calling themselves. Swap ideas between agencies; agency passes it up the food chain; gets to minister with glowing recommendations about how this will finally stop all terrorism activities, boats from the north, naughty people leaving to fight in Syria, poverty, road fatalities, etc, etc ad nauseum.

As @rossde said, most or our elected representatives aren't interested in thinking; merely following the party line is hard enough.

Obviously icon does not refer to our pollies.

ACCC clears copper for the NBN

Beaurocracy-speak for fiddling while Rome burns?

"“Using existing infrastructure means we can build the nbn network sooner and at less cost to taxpayers than originally anticipated. What’s more, all the technologies being used in the nbn network can be upgraded to deliver even faster speeds and greater capacity when consumer demand calls for it,” said nbnTM chief Bill Morrow, in a statement."

Sounds like an excuse to not lay fibre, and hope someone comes up with a way of extending the life of the rapidly decaying copper. I thought the whole idea of the NBN was to give Fred Public a new high speed network NOW, not keep throwing the problem into the future.

KRAKKOOM! SpaceX Falcon supply mission to ISS EXPLODES minutes after launch

MSFT Diversification?

"...supplies including Microsoft's Hololens headgear and food-making kit."

Microsoft has always made quite good hardware, but their ability to combine augmented reality with a Cuisinart is really revolutionary.

Pity the ISS crew won't be using it.

How much info did hackers steal on US spies? Try all of it

Whatever you do...

...don't tell our political masters about VPNs.

I foresee a time very soon when my system will be on a non-log-keeping VPN 24/7.

(And before you ask, while I have nothing to hide, I also have curtains in my house. Bugger off, Big Brother!)

El Reg illuminates again

Thank you, El Reg, for showing me another instance in the seemingly never-ending list of words that Merkins use differently to other English speakers:

"Had your wages garnished?"

My first thought was of my pay packet lightly sprinkled with pepper and a few parsley flakes. It would seem however, that they were referring to what I'd always known as 'garnishee'.

Am I alone here, or do fellow Strine speakers (to say nothing of K1W1s or those from the Mother Country) also know it as 'garnisheed wages'?

New Windows 10 Build 10122 aims to fix file association hijacking

"Adobe’s PDF reader is better..."

Really? This is Acrobat we're talking about here?

Suggest you widen your horizons and try something like Foxit or even Nitro.

Get off the phone!! Seven out of ten US drivers put theirs and your lives at risk

An Antipodean Slant

Queensland has just introduced a 'double demerit points' penalty for a second and subsequent offence in any one year, for using a mobile while driving. This could amount to loss of your licence for 3 bookings in a twelve month period. That's the good news.

All the boys in blue have to do now is catch the offenders. Despite the Minister's press release and TV interview yesterday, it seems only about 2000 fines have been issued in the last year. I think I've seen more than that in my local area over a similar period, (tradies, school Mums, etc) so maybe they need a better eye test for the Police Academy?

Oz government to put dark fibre net on the auction block

Straw-grasping has become an art form for this government.

Film at 7:30 this evening.

Spotty dwarf Ceres BARES ALL in NASA's SHINY CLOSEUPS

Re: Clearly, no mirrors. True.

Is he any relation to Anna?