Posts by Joe

Boffins: Send robot lawn tractors to the Moon

Aren'ty there international laws...

against nukes in space? Not that that'd stop anybody, but just thought I'd ask

Obama says his new chopper is 'procurement gone amuck'

Gone amok?

Surely?

Straw slaps ban on Iraq debate docs

And as democaracy slowly dies...

The vast majority of the public care not one jot. As long as nothing affects the TV schedule. I weep for the future of the nation, I really do

NASA CO₂ scan satellite launch fails

One word....

FAIL

Boffin: Earthlike worlds within 30 lightyears of here

I for one....

will not be being predictable in the comments section

Man U fan pwned in Facebook honeypot

This has been doing the rounds on football forums for a while....

And still never fails to amuse! What an utter retard!

UFO ruled out of wind farm prang

I'm sure this will silence the conspiracy theorists...

IT'S A COVER UP!!!!111oneone

Wacky Jacqui Smith says whole country crusading against CCTV

CCTV really has helped...

Look how much safer the streets are now than 10 or 20 years ago....oh...

MP wants Welsh text on ID cards

I'm from lancashire...

So I want mine written in lancashire speak!

Birmingham drops the possessive apostrophe

Let battle commence

"apple's for £1" saw that this morning....ARRRRRRRRRGH

American Stereotype™ walks Google's mean Street View

Hahahahahahahahahaha

Hahahahahahahahaha that is TOO perfect!

Lucky Mancs could get ID cards first, Jacqui declares

Hopefully not Greater Manchester

I live in Wigan, which is in Greater Manchester. If she just means the City of Manchester, I'll be fine!

Vladimir Putin bitchslaps Dell-boy

Oooooh Vlad,

you bitch!

Red Dwarf finally returns to Earth

@AC

Ah, so you're a waffle man??

I have a very, very bad feeling about this...

I just don't think it can come close to the originals, especially as series 7 and 8 were so poor once Grant left the writing staff *sigh*

Doner kebabs: Death wrapped in pitta bread

@ ASH

"Shirley Kebab House Chicken Tikka Kebab is a Naan full of W1N after a night out..."

Surely you mean a Naan full of H5N1?

Shish Kebab ftw

Not just for health reasons, but also because they don't taste like chilli anus

DARPA seeks spraycan wound-polyfilla* for injured troops

@ AC 14:58

This is DARPA, the designers should think themselves lucky there wasn't a specification that it must use frickin' lazers and be able to fly.

That's brilliant!

How long til some South London stab victim dies due to his mates filling him to bursting with expanding wall-insulation foam?

Retired army generals: Spend Trident money on the army

Why don't we...

Just use all the ICBMs and WMDs we found in Iraq?

LibDem cheeky boy rides to Segway's rescue

@ Richard Gadsden

Ah fair enough. I never knew they could listen in on debates from elsewhere. Also it's the Iraq debate that preceded this, which nobody turned up to, that made me question it. Couldn't really care less about segways

Do no MPs ever turn up for debates?

Surely that's what they get paid for?

Cops taser JCB thief in 'slowest police chase ever'

How big a JCB are we talking here?

One of those mini ones you get on roadworks or a proper monster one?

Cash-strapped US businessman jumps from light aircraft

He fled into the woods...

and the rozzers didn't bother to chase him???

'Yes, officer...I have my ID just over he - RUN AWAY!!!"

Grave, 'cos I for one believe him

UFO damages Lincolnshire wind turbine

I for one welcome....

Our new carbon-conscious overlords

Tories pledge high speed broadband for all in 10 years

So he's promising...

exactly what's already been proposed/what is already happening??

Despite how much I hate NuLab I could never vote for that smug, policy-less arsehole.

Lib Dems FTW

MoD tops lost security pass league

Champione!

Champione! ole! ole! ole!

What do they win?

Kamikaze ballooning Brazilian soars to Darwin Award

@ Aaron

Belgium has a coast, Antwerp being one of Europes biggest ports. So not really inland. Geogra-fail

UK.gov to push Obama for tougher rules online

I find NuLab unacceptable....

So can we ban all this bullshit they keep coming up with??

Listen to the guy talk, you can clearly tell he has no idea how the internet works. What next?

'Don't type Google into Google, warns Burnham'

Tosser

DARPA aim to make killer robots invulnerable to damage

I for one....

welcome our Chris Long overlords

I for one....

welcome our self-replicating, indestructible, killbot overlords

China 'bans' BBC's Chinese website

Is it possible...

that they're trying to prevent the creation of a Chinese language twat-o-tron? It could certainly pose a threat to Party rule with it's cutting, incisive social commentary

Aussie boffins use sarcasm to investigate brain illness

O

RLY?

Max Planck Institute punts 'hot, young housewives'

EPIC FAIL

hahaha classic, that's one 'sinologist' getting sacked...

Ofcom rules on Clarkson strumpet gag

Finally

common sense prevails

Lego terrorist threatens democracy

@ Adam Foxton

"even the mainstream Rambo II was dedicated to the "brave fighters of afghanistan" or something similar"

Rambo III actually....

Don't worry, I'll grab it on my way out

Tell Santa to bring more assault rifles

@ AC 14:58

" I think you'll find it was Martha and the Vandellas."

ZING!

Guns don't kill people...

rappers do!

New terror guidelines on photography

I wonder...

which ones will the Filth follow, the actual law or the new 'guidelines' that seek to bend the law to their way of thinking....

Oz bill-dodgers nailed on Facebook

Another??

How many more people have to suffer public Facebook Fail before people learn??

Zoo's polar bear breeding plan scuppered by girl-on-girl

Fail

'nuff said

Juror dismissed over Facebook poll

Ask the average facebook member...

'ya he wel luks gillty, lock him up! lyf means lyf!

Pass this judgement to 5 other people to reveal the secret of eternal life'

Cretins

Google tells the world how to talk

I dread to think...

...what my thick lancashire accent would bring up on those voice searches....

Slo-mo MoD budget traincrash rolls on

Camera grenade??

Couldn't the evildoer in the other room simply shoot/step on it as soon as it flew through the door?

Taser's French distributor cuffed in commie spying case

You owe me a new keyboard....

That sub-heading just resulted in it being sprayed with tea!

Black widows: Coming soon to a kitchen sink near you

Argh!

I hate spiders, no issue with normal one's I live in peace with them but any creature that can bite/sting/poison should be exterminated. I may move to the antarctic to be out of the way of these evil things. Who's with me?

The picture? Well, penguins live in the Antarctic...

Channel 4 in Heathrow Playmobil reconstruction shocker

All you need to do...

is send in the PFY to sort them out

US military: Electropulse bombs now from next year

Scud range?

Someone needs to tell that Maryland fella that even if the 'terrorists' invent an EMP bomb and somehow aqquire a working SCUD to attach it to....where are they going to fire it from?? A SCUD range is around 300-400 miles maximum. So there's not really much chance of it getting anywhere near Maryland unless there's a new militant islamic group, Al-Canadia, that I haven't heard of?

Bebo users release interstellar spamgasm at Gliese 581

I for one....

Welcome our new emo social-networking alien overlords

Yes, that's the one... I'll just take it and be on my way....

DARPA seeks Special Forces submersible aeroplane

@bigyin

Nope Ekranoplan was a water-skimming 'plane'. The one I'nm thinking of was a 2 engined propellor plane that could land on water, submerge, then carry on as a mini-submarine. I can't get wiki at work but it's on there or google 'soviet flying submarine'

Ekranoplans are sweet though, I want one