* Posts by Steve

47 publicly visible posts • joined 22 Sep 2008

iPhone apps - the 10 smartest and the 10 stupidest


@ Michael C

You'd have to be an idiot to vote Republican in this country.

Or spend money on a phone.

Personally, I'm still waiting for that mobile-app-shaped hole in my life.

Microsoft set to reveal Windows 7 pricing mid-June

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Whatever it costs....

...you'll still need 3rd party file management software. It's worse than vista

Explorer - still can't open more than 15 files at a time. And S-L-O-W

Search - Won't find anything on a data CD, almost totally lacking in configuratability

Generally - I wish I got Mouse Miles like I get Air Miles. I'm forever 'chasing the focus' and I'm knackered! Twice as many clicks to get anywhere after you find it.

So as far as RC7100 goes: I call FAIL! Unless you don't want any more than "really wanting to see just the 5-star photos from last year" and touch your screen then Mickeysoft aren't really listening to you.

XP64 for another year or two it is then. The wallpapers were frightening my kids, anyway.

If AutoCAD would work properly on any other platform, you wouldn't see me for dust. As it is, I'm lumbered.

More doubts on ID card readers


Phone support line?

"Please flick your card after the beep."



"thank you, please hold the line and the cardholder whilst we analyse your sample. Our current waiting time is..... forty.....two.....days.....thankyou"


Can you talk and drive?



"orientation, navigation, communication - in that order." as some pilot said once.

A conversation on a 2-way radio is very different from a 'duplex' phone call. I don't know why, it just is. Try it.

For some reason, when one's brain hears a message on a 2-way radio, it queues it up behind all other actions of changing gear, steering, observation, etc. until a suitable moment when you safely transmit your reply. You have control. Also, the subject matter of these conversations are highly likely to relate directly to your journey. (bike courier, police, trucker, etc)

A mobile phone call, OTOH, is a dynamic, real time brain activity that WILL override and interfere with driving technique. You are sharing control with someone who cannot see what you see. The subject matter is unlimited, and your concentration will be split between this activity and the other dynamic, real-time activity ie driving.

A conversation with a passenger is different again. Unlike a phone caller, they should be able to discern safe or unsafe opportunities for communication, and could also be told to shut up if needed. Again, your concentration remains under your control.

I spent 4-5 years surviving on a motorcycle in and around London as a courier. You can see a lot more of other driver's techniques when you can ride (carefully!) through traffic jams from such a relatively high vantage point. Spotting a tw@ on a phone was easy. Initially., your eyes would be drawn to clumsy driving and you would just KNOW that, if it wasn't a Volvo, it was another distracted selfish prick on a phone. They stood out a mile.

Texters are also easy to spot. They are the ones stuck in the car in front.


Video iPhone coming in June?


@ mad hacker

The difference is, in Europe we have more bus and rail networks. The sight of grown men and women on the train shouting at their clamshells was enough to put anyone off.

bleeding edge of technology? *yawn*

Star Trek Klingon lingo hits cutting room floor


@AC-Nerdburglars 2.0 (AKA, Gene Hunt wouldn't watch it)

The poster who said ODFO was being a bit rude. I mean, he could have said PFO, CYPFO, or even WYMFO.

Manners cost nothing. At least he didn't tell you to FOAD

Wikimedia becomes latest to ban Phorm


Words fail me......

....so I'll leave it to my old friend, the Laughing Dog.

Take it away.....






Sadville besieged by bitey 'spampires'

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I heartily endorse all of this sort of thing

More please.

I find not playing Second Life to be a truly fascinating pursuit. Kind of like an ant farm, but way, way better. I could lose hours to it!

Can marketing get an angle on that?

Vatican researcher claims Templars worshipped Turin Shroud


@ Arnold Layne

umm....no. Go back to your strange hobby


@ real or fake

"apparently they were saying that hundreds of years ago -- they theorised about "vapours" from the early phases of decomposition bleaching the ceremony oils and ointments absorbed by the cloth"

Wonderful. Simply, beautifully, wonderful. If it's true, what a testament to human inginuity. And what a challenge to now interrogate that data without causing destruction.

I laugh at all the athiestic scorn that fills the comments page of every story like this. Where were the nerds and the geeks and the scientists before electricity? In the monastaries!

MPs battle to save great British pub


@ ponder stebbins

Estimated annual cost to the NHS for treating smoking-related illness = £2billion

Annual tax revenue from tobacco = £8billion

Go check the ASH website. Look at their plan to fill the tax gap when no-one smokes anymore. They admit they don't have one.

smokers also save the NHS money by popping off early, saving the need for future hip replacements, etc.

The government needs smokers.


@ Ponder Stebbins again

".....what constitutes the "nanny state", being made to drive on left hand side (in the UK), is that the nanny state robbing people of the freedom to drive on the right hand side? Is having to stop at a red traffic light the nanny state interfering with the freedom to drive your car whatever way you want."

so, smoking=anarchy? glad we got that sorted!

Smoking really winds some people (like you) up doesn't it?

and that's why

Smoking is Cool

Dead Vulture

@ Sarah

Those would be the electronic cigarettes that are being considered for their own ban?

The 'smoking debate' my arse. There has only ever been one side and the new laws are built on some pretty bad science and statisitics.

How bad? I'd love to know. If only I could find some kind of Technology/Science/Current Affairs website that would Go There....

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@ Sarah

Respectfully, Sarah, 'Let's Not Go There' has been the media's battle cry all along regarding the smoking ban and it's relation to pub closures. I've hardly seen a mention of it in the rags I frequent, and yet it's bloody obvious at the same time. It's not just the pubs, look at the bingo halls. Everyones's freaking out, but Don't Mention The Smoking Ban! are the orders.

A properly air-conditioned environment that takes smoking into account will NOT leave you smelling like an ashtray. Both smoking and air conditioning have been around long enough to have solved that problem. However, something like that will always cost more than opening a window, so lot's of establishments never bothered. Design restrictions on old buildings wouldn't have helped, either.

So now, the civilised thing to do would be to create Smoking Licenses for rooms or areas that are able to meet a certain standard of ventilation. Do you really believe that if something like that actually happened, it wouldn't be massively over-subscribed?

You see, don't you, the short slippery slope between your dismissive 'why not just give up the fags' well-meant nannying statement and genocidal dictatorship? Surely?

So now, when I stand on the wind-and-rain swept train station platforms of my life, or in the toilets at the airport, I feel again the illicit thrills of my schooldays. Smoking is exciting again.

Google force feeds Web 2.0 to US gov

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"Most government agencies prevent their employees from visiting sites like YouTube and Facebook. "These services are presumed to be social rather than job-related.""

Wow! Politicians aren't all a complete bunch of frakkin' 'tards! Who knew?

Most undergraduates 'show fear when asked to do maths'



"i said before i dont care if i start a sentence with a capital. does it matter?"

It depends on your values and the values of your audience

"are you so dumb that you need to see a capital before you know its a new sentence? "

All written communication contains an element of craftmanship, and it reflects the cares and values of the author. If writing were food then you would be Pot Noodle and I prefer Phad Thai.

"how do you cope in the modern world now that capitals arent used all the time? i guess text messages are just like hebrew to you?""

No, when you read my words you hear a voice in your head, and it's controlled by my punctuation. Quite a bit like music/singing, in other words. When I read TXT SPK it sounds like Robbie the Robot shouting emotionlessly. When I read your words, you sound like every half-baked oaf I've ever met (which is a lot: I too work in engineering / construction.). Maybe I'm completely wrong, but first impressions, eh?

'Cybercrime exceeds drug trade' myth exploded


Isn't it obvious?

(Number of pirate movies & tunes available worldwide) x (Apropriate RRP on itunes) = a trillion whatevers.

BTWWTF is a Trillion anyway? As a logical thinker, I'm confused: isn't it the same as a UK Billion? (ie 1e12, or a thousand thousand million)? I'm still trying to get my synapses to bridge "Five Thousand Million" with "Five Billion".

Up until recently, it's been like the difference between -40C and -40F, ie who cares? Consequently, the argument over how big the numbers are has yet to happen.

My prediction: War, and calculators will get wider.

Boffin builds DIY solar cell from doughnuts and tea


What will the cops say...

...when the price of doughnuts goes up?

Royal Mail disses runaway post van man



If the guy had been sitting in a car and the runaway van had hit him. then he would doubtless be due for some compensation. If he had suffered any losses due to time off work, torn clothing, etc. then that would all be included in an insurance claim.

As he was a pedestrian, evidently without personal injury insurance, he has no alternative but to sue for uninsured losses.

Regardless of this guy's case, the P.O. have a duty of care and should be held accountable for their negligence by the HSE or similar. I fail to see how they can deny their liability. Actually, that's not true. I can see. It's their policy to deny liability until they are led by the nose to it.

Now, there's a lovely image!

Social networking and blogs more popular than email


@ Paul Banacks

don't be starting on the feckin' Pears, son

feckin' apple fanboi....

Facebook nemesis sues Google (and wins)


@ amanfrommars

do you live in a big bath of goo in a Cylon battlestar?

Microsoft courts enterprises with Windows 7


Re: (sic)

"We're convinced Windows 7 HAS an exciting and powerful offering for our business customers, but we want to hear from you," (don't see a problem. They're not selling just software, but a lfe-changing experience)

"We're convinced Windows 7 IS an exciting and powerful offering TO our business customers, but we want to hear from you," (and anyway, Windows is not an offering, it costs money)

"We're convinced Windows 7 WILL HAVE an exciting and powerful offering for our business customers, but we want to hear from you," (makes the last bit confusing and well, it's just.....yuck.)

IM(ES)HO, I would've bunged in a 'that' after 'convinced'. Also, I might have used a full stop instead of a comma (also in the preceeding paragraph). Call me old-fashioned.

Loving Windows 7, though!

Windows 7 test build 'turns off' Internet Explorer 8

IT Angle

@ Eh?

Windows blue-screened halfway through the first uninstall.

Also, I have a Web 2.0 name that needs a definition: Where's the iTangle?

Ryanair may charge cattle to use the bog


Ryanair cabin safety message, c.2011

"...In case of sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the overhead compartment. To initiate the flow of oxygen, please insert 1 Euro...."

NASA talks little green men with Vatican



"I've never met a humble or modest astronomer, but we should be,"

Seems to apply to all the BOFHs and Helldesk Heroes, too. So, so sure they are right, without realising just how much they have to take on TRUST out of the sheer neccessity for Getting Anything Done. How do we know we are not just the crazed imaginings of a head in a jar? Somehow, we still get out of bed in the morning without having an answer.

Faith is a dirty word in emperical circles. It's just a pity that the Universe is neither 100% quantifiable nor measurable. (Something which science HAS proved!) Things like Love, Will, Quality are core components of (evolutionary) life, but Science can barely acknowledge these, let alone see them as anything significant.

Uncertainty exists, QED. A little humility and modesty is a reasonable response.

Grifters punt 'get rich quick' scams at Facebook users


May I be the first?

I for one welcome our Sturmey-Archer 3-gear grip-twisting Overlords

Vatican endorses Darwin, slights intelligent design


@ Mac Phreak

Was that the only sentence you understood? silly cat


@ jake

"Which of the various volumes of books, translated into various languages, and containing various additions and subtractions, are we discussing? Please be specific, I want to read this "greatest acheivement" for myself. BTW, isn't it I before E, and etc.? Except possibly in Koine Greek, or Aramaic, of course ..."

Gosh you really have the big clevers. Try reading the post, maybe following with your finger, specifically the sentence before the one you commented on.

My point was attempting to convey the idea that the Bible has been underpinning human development for a little less than 2000 years. In that time, no amount of mistranslation or Machiavellianistic meddling on the part of our early chuch leaders* has affected the fundamental messages that are the bloody guts of this great work. It matters not a jot whether Adam used a fig leaf or a banana leaf, or if he was really called Alan. The value of the words remains in spite of humanity's best and worst efforts to enhance or suppress them.

Your pedantic nit-picking of my comment is akin to what the Bible has had to endure it's whole life. (follow the shoe! No, follow the Gourd!) The Bible's purpose is to communicate values, ideas and (rather profound) philosophies. It is neither a cryptic crossword puzzle nor an affadavit to be scrutinized.

Those that have eyes to see, will see. Those that prefer pedantry to communication end up feeling smug, but lonely.

Not anonymous this time because, well, fuck you.

*definition of a priest: A begger who can show another begger where to find bread.

Barcelona boffin births swarming microrobots



I bet he wanted to call them "Microbots" but got slapped with a writ from a Japanese toy company

The A-Team flies into Hollywood


".........without cheesing it up."

So it will simply remain cheesier than a cheese licker's cheesy bits, then?

Trivia Hunt: I swear blind that I once saw SOMEONE ACTUALLY DIE in an episode once (thrown off a balcony). No-one believes me, of course (crazy fool!). Who out there in Reg land has The Nerds to provide illumination?

IWF pulls Wikipedia from child porn blacklist

Dead Vulture

What isThe F**ks?

Did you ever write instruction manuals for cheap asian electronics companies in the late 80s?

"We never thought we say such thing"

"But you have to wonder why Wikipedia included in the first place."


Beeb gets its rocks off in Second Life


@ Pete James

You Sir, have won the internets with your underrated derivlious pithicisms

On a broader note; where does this sit in light of new legislation regarding obscene works of fiction?

When it comes to 'perverse', I think this ticks all the boxes.

Aren't the Beeb guilty by viewing this, let alone telling the world?

AVG slaps Trojan label on Adobe Flash


Dear AVG

I refuse to post another comment, please refer to my comment on your previous debacle.

Mobe number middleman turns old sims into gold


Phone numbers?

I remember those! In fact, I used to remember dozens and dozens of them.

WTF do I need them for now? We all have address books!

Which is a shame because I've had the same very memorable Virgin number since mid-90s which, numerically speaking, is a thing of elegance and beauty while saying it out loud is like singing a song.

Only 2-star on numbuz.com but hey, that's numberwang!

(grabs coat, gets out more)

Half of Brits abuse apostrophe's


@ Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F'tang-F'tang-Ole-Biscuitbarrel

Are you by chance any relation to Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-WHIN-BIN-BIN-bus-stop-F'tang-F'tang-Ole-Biscuitbarrel?

I can't stand Python abuse.

AVG slaps Trojan label on core Windows file


Dear AVG

Your antivirus software used to be the Dog's Bollocks. Unbloated, free, efficient and well-thought of by most.

Then, with version 8, you decided to 'encourage' people to upgrade from the free product by persistently nagging them and making it nigh on impossible to update. Now you are bollocks. A fall from grace to rival Tony Blair.

I have Nod32 now, and peace of mind for the first time since I uninstalled AVG7.5. Nice knowing you.

"If it ain't broke, it probably doesn't have enough features yet"

PlusNet customer invited to opt-in to BT's Phorm trial


@ The Cube

Rhyming slang? In russian maybe.



I should think so to!

I've been wondering about Plusnet's intentions re. Phorm. and this sorts it out nicely for me. I've been with force9 since the days of 14k dial-up. Nothing to really complain about in that time, and less so now. I've always trusted them and felt valued by them.

I've never thought of them as a bunch of scamming muppets. In fact, I haven't come across many ISPs that could hold a candle to what F9 do. They may not win the prizes for fastest or cheapest but IMHO they'll still be standing whilst others come and go.

PS I download shitloads. Hardly ever go into the red on my usage. Never more than a shot across the bows from f9 when I come close.

Beatles to bless Rock Band


No, daddy, put on a *spinny* one

and so it was this very morning my two girls (2 & 4) got served I Am the Walrus @ 45rpm. Also, the 4yo can sing along with All Together Now.

Good music is good music. Even better if it's analogue and cranked up!

BBC's speak you're branes collapses under Brand-Ross sex outrage


I R speke ma branes

Let's not be hasty

Ross = baby

Brand = bathwater (wierdly, I think of Russell Brand whenever I have to clean out all the hair'n'pubes from my plughole; you know, when you pull out about 6 inches of the stuff - yum!)

Europe gives temps same rights as permanent staff


@ Dax Farrer

I'm a UK contractor. Someone let me marry their daughter once and now I not only have 2 beautiful kids but I actually got to spend some proper quality time with each of them after they were born.

But I do have a penchant for violent behavior and an unhealthy fixation on money.


@ Job security?

As a UK contractor, my experience is similar to US AC's above.....More money, less politics, no pension.

After 11 years I've lost count of the number of times I've sat in a client's office with my back to the petty, bitchy, backstabbing, apathetic, jobsworthy, cynical,political mess going on around me. Meanwhile, I'm working my tits off and GETTING PAID FOR EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!!!. No wonder the permeez get snooty sometimes.

When it gets really bad - like when that ageing hippy man-hating spinster next to me wouldn't stop flirting with that non-bald engineer who does those really complicated internet brain puzzles like ALL THE TIME - I draw a little pound sign on my monitor bezel (next to the clock), then grit my teeth and stare at it until the red haze passes. I don't think I could bear to stay in any office more than 3 months or so.

Job security? I don't know many people who have that. My wife was made redundant 3 times before she thought stuff it and started her own company. Neither of us have looked back, really.

So to all you temps out there getting a third of the money and none of the perks - all your bosses are screwing you. You can either hang around until you get these nice new rights (assuming the companies don't find ways around them), or leave numptyland behind you and find something more lucrative to do. Or, you could even get a proper permie role. Then, you'd still be getting screwed, but you'd also think that losing your job would be the end of your world!

Oh, and to the other AC poster above - the Government pays your paternity leave. If you applied for it, it's yours. And take the 2 weeks off.

US judge rejects lawsuit against God


@ Alan Fisher

God spent a lot of time in the Old Testament being really 'hands-on' and smiting his enemies in ways that would have put Tarantino and Peckinpah off their lunches. That was until he had an argument with Jonah about what nastiness He was about to do to Jonah's persecutors and BACKED DOWN! Check it out...quite a watershed in the whole big story of God vs. Man, it almost makes up for the really boring bits.

After that, He could still be pretty vindictive until JC arrived with the new heresy ("can't we all, like, get along? yes, non-jews too") and upset everyone (well, everyone that mattered ie the pricks) with his new-fangled 'forgiveness' idea, which can subvert the Powerful even today. The last communication from God to Man after Jesus steps out of the picture comes from the drawing of lots (bingo!) and is basically an instruction to go forth and create bureaucracy (maybe "all the sixes, clickety clickety click")

IMHO, God subscribes to the view 'if you love something, let it go...' . What's the point of putting all that effort (a week of construction, sure, but what the Design stage?) into creating beautifully simple things like Evolution and Free Will if you just end up with a lot of little robots parroting your praises and doing what they are told? Sounds less like God and more like Man to me.

We are more than an ant-farm to Him, if not to the gubmints / corporations (as true today as it was then).

If I was God, I would find Mans efforts to sue me infinitely amusing and not a little cute.

Armed cops ice South London devil dog


When I t'were a lad...

...I remember we had dog licenses.

We don't have those any more. Oh no, far too intrusive, bureaucratic, expensive, etc. (or whatever)

BUT! I.D. cards, childrens database, road tolls.....worth every speculative penny!

Boy band sings praises of Windows 7


@ Nic Brough

Earnest Errol Quinch, is that you?

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Where does the 'u' come from?

Surely 'Celebritards' or 'Celbretards'?

Chesticles is solid gold, though!

Superfluid leak downs LHC for months


brass monkeys....

..have no wedding tackle. They were used to carry (iron) cannon balls around ships. When it got cold....well, you do the physics.