* Posts by Steven Holmquist

20 publicly visible posts • joined 22 Sep 2008

No, I won't SNORKEL in your server room at STUPID-O'CLOCK

Steven Holmquist

Monkeys will be monkeys

My first job was at a web house that hosted a number of fortune 500 companies websites. They had just moved into a new building they had bought and were very proud to show it off to the new hires. While taking my tour they stopped on at the new server room they had just completed. We stood looking through a huge plate glass window at all the flashing lights of the switches, listening to the HR lady tell us of the cost of all the new SparkBoxes, racks and equipment. As I'm taking this all in I notice in the ceiling of the new server room all the bright and shiny sprinkler spigots for the fire system. When I mentioned the idea that, perhaps water and electronics might be bad, the HR lady stood and looked like a deer in headlights. So after I started I went to my new boss and said the same thing to him. The look on his face could have matched the HR lady. He ran into the server room and stared at the ceiling. After cursing a blue streak in Chinese (he was Chinese), the quick fix was to hang a tarp over all of the equipment until the pipes for the sprinklers could be cut. Fun times...

Revenge smut bullies who send 'grossly offensive' messages WILL be prosecuted

Steven Holmquist
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If I understand correctly...

What this means is that if I get my ex to have signed a model release for said pics before kicking her to the curb, then I'm perfectly fine and safe from this legislation even if it could be thought of as Revenge Porn, Yes?

Remember gents, get it in writing when you snap those holiday pics!

NASA to unsheath giant asteroid space probe

Steven Holmquist

Andromida Strain?

Is it just me or does the return capsule look like the SCOOP probe from the movie?

Yes, the BBC still uses FTP. And yes, a Russian crook hacked the server

Steven Holmquist

Nothing new

Had an account exec a few years ago that bragged about being able to FTP from his desktop. He used the built-in support in his browser as the FTP tool and regularly posted to the server. Tried to get the FTP access shut down, but since he was higher in the food chain, my concerns were overlooked. He's now a VP of Digital at an advertising agency. I'd be willing to guess he's still using FTP through his browser.

10 Types of IT managers from hell

Steven Holmquist

They missed one.

The Absolute Douchebag

My former boss tried to start his relationship with me from a position of power. It was our first face-to-face meeting and my yearly review. I had also requested a salary review. The meeting started out with him saying that he'd never worked for a company that had a full time web developer. He felt it was a waste of money and was a job better out-sourced than kept in-house. Then spent the next hour telling me that I was better off quitting, could make three times going elsewhere, and to do myself a favor by just leaving. From there he did his best to make me look like I was incompetent by editing my code on a project after I had gone home. Then trash talked me to the executive committee whenever given the chance.

And yet, when one of our sites fell under attack, my code and my security precautions prevented any damage or access. While I was praised by the executive committee, he said I just got lucky. Even after I gave my notice, moved on to a new job, he had the nerve to call me to see if I'd be willing to do contract work for him.

His "IT" experience was a collection of buzz words, redirection, and bullshit. He never showed any actual knowledge, and even a simple google search could be used to disprove his "claims".

Lets face it, sometimes an person can bluff their way into a position, and if they bounce around enough can pass themselves off as knowledgeable.

Forget Mars: Let's get someone on the Moon – NASA veteran

Steven Holmquist

Possible Reason for not going back to themoon

Maybe the folks at NASA reached an agreement with the Nazi's to leave them alone and never return in exchange for them not launching an attack against the earth al la "Iron Sky".

NASA to flip ion engine's 'OFF' switch after brilliant 5.5 year burn

Steven Holmquist

But you might also want to consider...

By sending a probe now into deep space, it could still send back telemetry and data that might make that next deep space mission safer/better for a live crew instead of a remote device. So while the distance and time to get there aren't practical for a human crew, the data sent back could give us a better idea of what to expect and what is out there. It's one of the interesting things about Voyager being on the fringes of our galaxy.

Why not send a probe? We have everything to learn and nothing to loose.

Snowden: 'Hey, Assange, any more room on Ecuador's sofa?'

Steven Holmquist


I'm often surprised at the "Outrage" folks have to learn that a government is spying on them and everyone else. First of all, it's a government. By their very nature they watch and keep an eye on everyone. To think otherwise, you are kidding yourself.

Second, most politicians are lawyers.

Did we all forget the old joke about lawyers?

"How can you tell if a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving."

Let's face it, all governments lie.

They will all spy and watch everything and everyone.

Soylent days and soylent nights

Steven Holmquist

Re: not a balanced diet

"Water, blackstrap molasses, imported habanero peppers, salt, garlic, ginger, tomato puree, axle grease, real hickory smoke, snuff, butts of clove cigarettes, Guiness Stout fermentation dregs, uranium mill tailings, muffler cores, monosodium glutamate, nitrates, nitrites, nitrotes and nitrutes, nutrites, natrotes, powdered pork nose hairs, dynamite, activated charcoal, match-heads, used pipe cleaners, tar, nicotine, single-malt whiskey, smoked beef lymph nodes, autumn leaves, red fuming nitric acid, bituminous coal, fallout, printer's ink, laundry starch, drain cleaner, blue chrysotile asbestos, carrageenan, BHA, BHT, and natural flavorings."

Isn't that the recipe for most American Beer?

LOHAN must suck juice while mounted on rigid rod - but HOW?

Steven Holmquist

Why not keep it simple?

In my youth, I used quick disconnect sockets at the ends of wires all the time. The type I used had a round cylinder female end. I'd just bare a length of wire and fold it over and stick it in the quick disconnect. As long as the end of my wire was outside of the socket, the only thing that kept my wire in the socket was friction. It never took much to pull the wire out of the socket. I used to use this as part of an alarm system in my room, and later as part of the wiring I did for a key switch for my garage door opener. If someone pried the key switch off to try to open the door by shorting the wires, they would fail due to the wires not being long enough to allow movement and due to pulling out of the quick disconnect socket.

Just my two cents...

LOHAN to slip in sexy little black number

Steven Holmquist








LOHAN's cold heart beats beneath silicon breast

Steven Holmquist








Igniter and



Six of the best ways to mess up IT change management

Steven Holmquist

Leaving the IT group out completely

I'm in the middle of this situation right now. A complete redesign of the corporations website with new whistles and bells, plus the merging of all the business groups into one entity. Yet the marketing department holds seminars and demos of the new site to staff and the executive group without including any IT staff. So any feedback, complaints, problems, questions are now filtered through the non-tech savvy Marketing group. So now I have to translate change requests that start out, "The thingy on the page isn't looking right." Just Effing wonderful....

Readers suggest LOHAN mount single mighty rod

Steven Holmquist
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Why not test fire?

It would seem that even a low level test of any launch system using a smaller rocket would be a good way to test any of the suggested launch options. If at 100 feet the rocket is able to leave the platform it would give a good idea of how it might perform at a higher altitude. After all if a test rocket doesn't make it off the platform at 100 feet, it's not going to do it at height.

LOHAN to suck mighty thruster as it goes off, in a shed

Steven Holmquist







Lame Stuxnet worm 'full of errors', says security consultant

Steven Holmquist
IT Angle

Has anyone concidered...

Perhaps the "errors" or "flaws" in the code was to throw off the suspicion that it was built by a security agency? Why else overlook such obvious errors unless you're trying to make it look like it was built by amateurs.

Emotional arguments do not make Street View illegal

Steven Holmquist

Then by his own statements...

..He would force every news photog to get permission slips for anyone ever shown in the background of a news photo, sports event, etc. This "privacy complaint" is just a waste of time and money.

Brits 'a bunch of yellow bastards', says irate Yank

Steven Holmquist
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On behalf of the rest of the American population...

I would like to apologize for one of my less evolved fellow citizens. While I normally don't have a problem with my gun-toting counterparts, I can at least laugh along with the rest of the world in regards to the photo. The arse that complained must not be secure enough with his manhood to be able to laugh and see the humor. As a people, I have nothing but respect for the folks across the pond. I just hope that while every country has its share of citizens that can be called a complete waste of a human existence, that this situation will not cause you to see all Americans as gun-toting hillbillies. But see us as people with family members we always have to take sharp objects from least they hurt themselves.


Illuminati spook fails to disarm Soviet cow nuke

Steven Holmquist
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I'm surprised that only one person picked up on this

The description he gave of the warhead was the same line used in "True Lies". I wonder what other movies he'll quote when he comes up for trial? Some suggestions for him:

"We're on a mission from God", - Blues Brothers

"The Truth? You can't handle the truth!, - A few good men