* Posts by Doug Southworth

57 publicly visible posts • joined 19 Sep 2008


Brooke Shields pic exposes real/online rift

Doug Southworth

@ Cover them up!

"It's about my family bathing, or running around on the beach naked, taking photos, and having the right to show the pictures to others without fear of arrest."

I agree with you wholeheartedly, but that is miles away from taking those same pictures, enlarging them, touching them up with virtual makeup, and then displaying them to the public. And that is where the law fails us...there is no way to distinguish the two. One mans art is another mans prurient interest.

My point was mainly that there seem to be some in this world, and indeed in these comments, that are very zealous about their right to view what might be considered kiddie porn. It does make me wonder what their intent really is.

Either way, this is one of those debates that will never end, and neither side will come eye to eye on.

Doug Southworth


To all the people saying that the surest way to spot a paedo is show them a pic of a naked youth and see who yells the loudest, isn't is just as plausible that you who are OK with a piece of "art" such as this are just more cleverly disguised kiddie fiddlers? I mean, why else would you assert so adamantly that you have the right to see other peoples children naked?

Just a though...

Irate iPhone owner allegedly shows gun to Apple Store worker

Doug Southworth
Big Brother


Well, even if he did have a CCW permit, he won't now. Brandishing a weapon unless it is being used for self defense when there are no other options is a Class D Felony. Bye-bye permit, which is as it should be. You don't have to tell a police officer that you are carrying in most states however, at least you don't where I live.

*sigh* The anti-gun trolls will be all over this one...

Pluto still a planet, says Ronald McDonald

Doug Southworth
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"US scientific propaganda"

As opposed to what, the perfectly unbiased science of the UK?

Good to see nationalism is still alive and well in all parts of the globe.

Rich people cannot feel pain, don't care if they're liked

Doug Southworth

International Date Line

Is it April first on the other side? I could never get the feel of how that thing works...

Google blames cheeseburgers for destroying the planet

Doug Southworth

I keep laughing when I read the title...

I mean, we let OJ off the hook for murdering his wife, so now we have to blame him for global warming?

Facebook denies denying Holocaust deniers

Doug Southworth

@ Mei Lewis

I don't think it has as much to do with a rabid interest in Jewish history during WWII as it does with preserving history as it actually happened. There is no plausible reason to think that the Holocaust didn't happen, and yet there is a group of people who think that it didn't. These same people, if they had their way, would happily rewrite our history books. We would be losing a part of history, and that diminishes us all.

There's also something in us that simply hates it when something we know is true is called into question. Most people know the Holocaust happened. Someone saying that it didn't, in spite of overwhelming evidence, grates on most people.

Doug Southworth

@ greg

So stating that the follower of any religion is an asshole makes you a bigot. Way to take a stand.

Dell punts £199 10in netbook

Doug Southworth
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Screen size

"Dell has...replace (sic) the 1024 x 600 display with a 1024 x 576 model"

Seriously? How much could that really have saved? Why don't they just make the screen 1024x8 so I can read one line of text at a time. That ought to save some dough...

Enough already. Give me a real screen!

Microsoft insists debt issue not a prelude to SAP bid

Doug Southworth
Paris Hilton

@ amanfromMars

That one made even less sense than normal. Nicely done.

Swedish couple demand right to name baby 'Q'

Doug Southworth
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@ AC 13:15

Nicely done. Beers all around!

Doug Southworth
IT Angle

I don't see the big deal.

So what if they want to name their kid Q? Why should the government care?

Worse case scenario if they lose their appeal, they could name the child Queue...

IT Angle?

Torture case against Boeing subsidiary resuscitated

Doug Southworth
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@Miami Mike

Wow. Really?

I'm glad you don't speak for most of us Americans, though it's bad enough you spoke at all.

If you didn't read Andy Brights post above, go back and read it again, and again, and again until it starts to sink in on you.

My family came to the Americas from England sometime in the early/mid-1700's. One of King Georges governors married a Southworth daughter. My family owned the first stagecoach stop on the coast to coast road in Michigan. We were some of the first pioneers to move West. I could go on and on, but the point is that my family has been here as long as just about anyone's, and I am big a patriot as you will find.

I am ashamed that anyone in this country thinks that torture is OK. I'm ashamed that my government instigated it, condoned it, and then covered it up. These people, no matter what their beliefs or what they have done, are human beings. They do deserve to be brought to justice IF they have done something wrong, but no one deserves to be locked away from public view and have their genitals mutilated.

You, sir, are an idiot. If yours is truly the prevailing thought in this country, maybe it's time to go back to England.

LoTR fan film set for net premiere

Doug Southworth

Orcs and Dorks

God save us all...

Will Oracle kill MySQL? Who cares?

Doug Southworth

I'm a little dissapointed...

"After all, as a web developer, you can't appear publicly to be older than thirty."

Ted, no Logan's Run reference? Tisk...

Homer Simpson 'nuclear waste spill' panic at nuke sub base!

Doug Southworth

@ So what's the argument here?

No. I believe the argument is the the media shouldn't get their hands on information they don't understand, and then blow said information completely out of proportion for the sole purpose of frightening the public at large. The purpose of frightening the public? Why, to sell more newspapers, magazines, and any other media you can think of, of course!

Texting peer gets prison

Doug Southworth
Jobs Horns

@ Sarah Bee

Ignore him? Come on....we need flame fodder!!!

Doug Southworth

@ As a pedestrian...

Little extreme, don't you think? I was hit head on last year by a young girl who came over the center line. It was snowy and she lost control. The collision set off MY airbag (or in your world, a "huge bloody spike"), and I hadn't done anything wrong.

I agree this story is sad, and punishment laughable. He should spend about 2-3 years in the pokey and never have a license again.

Google blames Gmail outage on data centre collapse

Doug Southworth

@ 45 minutes a month?

I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that you don't have 113 million users either...or datacenters on other continents for that matter. Things happen. Stuff goes down. Besides, Google isn't saying that they are going to use their 45 minutes of down time every month, just that they are allowed it.

Seems that everyone likes to see the giant stumble, but no one would want his job on a day to day basis.

Vatican endorses Darwin, slights intelligent design

Doug Southworth
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@ Alan Roberts

"they didn't know where they came from or how earth was created (we now know this is because the sun formed from a disk of gas and rubble and the leftovers clumped together to form earth and the other planets in the solar system)"

Ummm...don't you mean "we think" instead of "we know". If you read your sentence aloud, it sounds just about as crazy as saying God made it. That's my beef with both sides of the argument, neither one answers the question. Saying that everything that we see happened by random chances takes just as much faith as saying God created it. And don't start with "But science has proven it!!!" It hasn't. That's why we call these things THEORIES instead of FACTS. Maybe some day we will have all the answers, but we don't right now. BOTH sides need to back off with the childish name calling. It is getting us nowhere, and being a bigot isn't any better than being a racist.

Half Life 2 used for firefight fire drill

Doug Southworth

Eh, who cares

If I die during the fire drill, I'll just respawn and try it again.

Mine's the one with the instant health restoring med kit in the pocket.

Police pursue crime suspect by Wii avatar

Doug Southworth
Black Helicopters


I'm sure that this guy, upon seeing his Mii mug posted all over town, won't go home and change it. This seems totally foolproof.

Maybe this isn't a Mii, and the police in the area just have a really bad sketch artist...

Google will tell your mates where you are

Doug Southworth
Black Helicopters

I'm pretty sure

...that Google is already tracking all of us. They're just being forthright about it now.

Bluetooth message saves scousers' livers

Doug Southworth

I can't be drunk Officer!

My phone says I'm sober! See? Seeeeee????

I'm waiting for the first court case siting this app as a defense.

Woman jailed for texting while driving

Doug Southworth
Thumb Down

That's great...

Evidently, your life and mine are only worth 21 months of this twats life. Good to know.

This kind of story completely pisses me off. I can guarantee you if it had been my wife killed in this accident, I'd be looking to pay off an insider in the prison system to take care of a certain someone.

Passport RFIDs cloned wholesale by $250 eBay auction spree

Doug Southworth

@ Pete

I'm not sure if it varies from state to state, but where I live you have 24 hours to present your license if you don't have it on you when stopped.

Nigerian car thief turns into sheep

Doug Southworth
Black Helicopters

Maybe this is what happened to Bin Laden

'cause the US government sure as hell can't find him.

First 'fully accurate' totally voice-controlled phone unveiled

Doug Southworth
Dead Vulture


The only thing missing from that crack job of reporting was the tag line "Call now, and we will instantly double your order!"


UK to rely on mobile operators for universal broadband

Doug Southworth

I'm curious

Is this going to be blanket coverage, like WiFi? Or is it going to be a point to multipoint setup (ie, each house has a directional antenna pointing to the closest tower)? If it is more like the WiFi route, doesn't that cause problems for someone wanting to filter the internet access in their home?

Symantec braces for economic downturn

Doug Southworth


The economic mess will finally kill Symantec off.

Western Digital Caviar Green 2TB hard drive

Doug Southworth

@ Dick Emery

Yes, one can find 2x1TB drives cheaper, but then I would nee a RAID card that could handle 7 drives in order to build my 6TB RAID 5 array...

Exploding core counts: Heading for the buffers

Doug Southworth
Dead Vulture

@ christopher


I want a 1000 monkeys to crank out shakespear's greatest work.

Any idea how long this will take?"

I dunno, but this article, 1 monkey, 10 minutes...

How many times has this same subject been covered already? Yeesh.

Vladimir Putin bitchslaps Dell-boy

Doug Southworth
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Proud day for Russia

I doubt even the developing countries Mr. Putin referenced want Dell computers. My hats off to him for putting Dell-Boy in his place.

Extreme pron vigilantes are after you

Doug Southworth


That watchful eyes if just about the creepiest thing I have seen in a while.

Ooops...gotta run. It's time for morning exercise in front of the telescreen.

Mitsubishi to unveil i MiEV Sport Air at Geneva Motor Show

Doug Southworth
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To quote Jeremy Clarkson

"It is uglier than a war wound"

GM to convert Volts to Amps in Europe

Doug Southworth
Thumb Up

Re: Tanuki

'If you're looking to sell significant numbers of these cars, please - ditch the gawky and eye-challenging styling. Rather, think "mid-range executive" design - use something like a 5-series BMW or a Lexus GS as the inspiration.'

+1, couldn`t agree more.

Doug Southworth

Looks better than the Volt

So of course they won't sell it here...

Seven Japanese poisoned by blowfish 'nads

Doug Southworth
Paris Hilton

Interesting choice of food

They must taste good when properly prepared...but I don't think I'll be the one to find out...

Paris, 'cause she knows all about bad nuts.

Obama reverses Dubya's tailpipe emissions

Doug Southworth
Thumb Up

@ David Evans

"Maybe you shouldn't get your information about the cars Europeans drive (or their socio-economic status) from Hollywood."

I don't actually believe that most Europeans work on donkey farms or drive 600CC, 38bhp, 20 year old Peugeots, much the same way I assume you don't think that most Americans do nothing for tripple the money of anyone else in the world while driving a 6 ton SUV with 2 engines. My comment got the desired effect though.

"In addition, maybe you should also stand any US-made car from the "big three" alongside a European car (of ANY size) from the same manufacturer, (so on and so forth)?"

While I don't disagree that there are many fine cars made in other parts of the world, I think it is foolish to say that ANY European car is superior to ANY American car. I'm not going to get into a huge debate about specific models, but you can see my point.

My earlier comments were written in haste, and in anger, but the main point was that I get a more than a little tired about the "stupid, lazy, fat, worthless Americans and their crap cars." It seems that you don't like it when the tables are turned, as well you shouldn't. I will never say that America always gets it right, but we don't always get it wrong, either.

Doug Southworth
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Too all the Anonymous Cowards...

At least the ones who flame for no reason...shut the hell up. You love to set your sights on Americans, but don't have the courage to put your name on your post. Nice. Must be from France, huh?

And please don't pretend that if your country was bigger than ONE of our states, and you had a job that payed better than shoveling donkey shit on your uncles farm, that you wouldn't buy a larger, more powerful car than you have now.

I know several people who have immigrated here from other countries (Bulgaria, most notibly), and trust me, it didn't take them long to become "Americanized" and buy their first SUV or large car, a bigger house, etc. Please spare me the Holier than Thou, Americans are evil bullshit. If you came over here, you wouldn't be driving the same 600CC, 38bhp, 20 year old Peugeot that you have now. Stop fooling yourself.

And thank you, AC @ 11:23 GMT, for this:

"Europeans don't buy smaller, more efficient cars out of superior social conscience or anything of the sort - we buy them because fuel is generally taxed quite highly and thus seeing our ~$20k go into an economical and well-packaged small car is a sensible decision for us. By contrast, for J. Average Motorist in the US of A, it's an equally rational and intelligent decision to buy a big automatic with squishy seats for that price - the small difference in cost of fuelling it isn't going to make up for having all that extra space, comfort and performance."

At least there is one honest European in here, and I salute you for it.

Linux to spend eternity in shadow of 'little blue E'

Doug Southworth
Thumb Up

Thank you

As someone who is a Network Admin in the public school system, I spend most of my time working with teachers. I agree with you 100%. And thanks, by the way, for writing an article with a few explicatives sprinkled in for effect. It sounded much more well thought out than the usual 5 naughty word per sentence rant, which always makes me think of a 10 year old who has just learned a new word...

China's anti-censor software pimps user data

Doug Southworth
Thumb Up


"a poorly-worded FAQ, which has since been amended, has been misinterpreted"

Hate it when that happens. I'm sure it was a simple slip up, and not the work of a disgruntled employee with an axe to grind about his employers questionable data storage and sale policies.

I'm equally as sure that said employee still has a job...and kneecaps...and thumbs.

Goat hangs self in Canadian zoo

Doug Southworth
Thumb Up

The goat was forced to live in Canada

Is anyone really surprised?

China plans global satnav system

Doug Southworth
Thumb Down

If Chinese satellites

...are like any of the other Chinese crap I own, they should only be in orbit for about 2 months until the 80,000KW peak (53 W actual) solar panals die and the paper thin plastic shell cracks wide open from an impact with a space pebble. At least replacements should only be about $14.99 each.

Fake plane death businessman cuffed in Florida

Doug Southworth
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The only real trajedy

...is that he didn't actually kill himself. What a moron.

Sony rallies chums round proprietary standard

Doug Southworth
Paris Hilton

Sums it all up nicely

"an increasingly desperate research team at Sony with a technology no one wants"

Sounds like pretty much anything Sony makes anymore, and I am guessing that if this shit ever does hit the fan (consumer market), it will cost an arm, a leg, and both testicles...

Paris, 'cause she isn't cheap either...

Windows for Warships™ reaches Royal Navy frigates

Doug Southworth

@ Robert Long


Seriously, I think that...


...you might have a good...



AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*cough* *cough*

Oh, wait, you seriously are stupid enough to believe what you just wrote. I thought you were joking.

Microsoft plague threatens 30GB Zune extinction

Doug Southworth

For the love...

What is it with you anti-Microsoft people??? Every platform has serious pitfalls, Apple and Linux are no exceptions. I happen to use Linux as much as Windows, and both have their strong points. Get over it, as far as computing goes, NO ONE is right...if it works for you, that's all that matters.

Mine's the one with the multi-boot hard drive in the pocket...

YouTube 'poisoned baby food' hoaxer pleads guilty

Doug Southworth
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@ hikaricore

So you are saying this sort of thing should be allowed and protected under free speech? Grow up.

The Year in Operating Systems: No battle of big ideas

Doug Southworth
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Great article

This is where El Reg is at its best (for me at least), summary articles of all the gobbledy-gook that has taken place over the year and where it is headed. Thanks for the snap-shot of 2008 and the look at where things are headed for 2009.