Posts by Horridbloke

Quitting your job? Here's how not to do it

@AC

" I would view "X worked for Y from A till B." as the worst possible reference possible."

Some companies are so paranoid they won't say anything bad or good about the ex-employee, in case giving praise could result in legal problems at a later date. The result is the sort of pointless XYAB statement described above. The reason for this is companies do not have souls and couldn't give a monkey's about ex-workers.

All of my ex-employers have either gone bust or rendered themselves untraceable from my CV

through rebranding, takeovers, or simple relocation, so a prospective employer would have a difficult job finding anyone able to supply a reference anyway.

The Facebook job test: Now interviewers want your logins

Precedent...

In the early nineties, when I and my college mates were trying to blag ourselves industrial placements, a certain well-known company demanded all applicants supply details of their drinking habits. A lot of us decided not to bother with them on the grounds it wasn't any of their business.

Unfortunately most big companies regard their employees as chattel and always have done. Don't encourage them.

Eddie Murphy heading for worst movie ever glory

Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace

Sixteen years after the event I still bitterly regret sitting through the thing.

Embattled Foxconn raises wage slaves' salaries

Re: Second Suspicion

Stella going down well is it?

Black Ops has best videogame ending ever

Best ending ever?

Impossible Mission. Commodore 64. Mid-eighties.

(Beach Head was pretty cool too.)

Raspberry Pi Linux micro machine enters mass production

@Use?

Learn to code (if you were previously unable to afford a machine).

Put together a browsing machine to hang off the back of your big telly without annoying you with fans or excessive power drain.

Run a very low power home web server or torrent machine.

Have fun and expand ones idea of what computers are beyond the frankly rather tedious Wintel view.

The next big thing (heck, I don't claim to know everything).

Box

Get a cheap project box from Maplin, a tool to dig out the necessary holes and some epoxy or polymorph plastic to fit the board inside (though if only doing one system those three items will nearly double the price).

Thumbs up because there is fun to be had here.

Harry Potter director takes on Doctor Who movie

Isn't it obvious?

Rick Mayall in the title role, with Adrian Edmonson portraying Davros.

While we're at it, have the daleks operating out of a flat in Shepherd's Bush.

Defiant Aussies continue to sell contraband Samsung slab

@grammar check

That wasn't a grammatical error, it was one of vocabulary.

Hack reveals Android tablet within Sony e-reader

Even worse...

How long before some idiot attempts to run Angry Birds on it?

Nokia still in the red in Q3 sales bloodbath

The logical outcome...

2015: Nokia downsizes into a patent troll and bounces back to profitability.

Cassandra database now ready for mere mortals

Developed by facebook?

All queries return the result "lol".

MC Hammer getting into search business

Hammer time.

ViewSonic intros tablet sized to strike at iPad

4:4 ratio screen?

That would make it a square wouldn't it? Come on guys, try harder.

Apple outs iPhone micro USB adaptor

"One still ships with every mobe"

I recently bought a very cheap and nasty unlocked backup phone (a bluechip bc500 IIRC) that came brand new with a usb connector and no charger. The charger wasn't missing, there was no space for one in the box. I already had wall and car chargers that work fine with it, so no problem.

Makes sense - I'd rather have something with a common connector (and a couple of quid off the retail price) then have to keep and search for yet another proprietary cable.

Samsung-Apple patent lawsuit tally hits 21, and counting

Samsung's big advantage...

Apple produce about a dozen (omitting various configurations) consumer - targeted products. Samsung produce hundreds of consumer-oriented products plus hundreds of OEM components plus goodness knows what else. If it comes down to injunctions against products then Samsung's diversity offers huge protection. Would the loss of the Galaxy range hurt them? Not much. Would the loss of the IOS range hurt Apple? Yes. Apple will shortly realise this and stop acting like dicks.

Rubbing an iPhone on your face won't cure acne - FTC

Just as well it didn't work...

I'm imagining a pimply visage with a perfectly rectangular clear patch across one cheek.

Or are you supposed to run it on an ipad for full-face treatment?

Sony turns to augmented reality to sell tellies

Fun possibilities...

Can it handle multiple markers for the full-on Blofeld / Architect's lair experience? I'm sure Sony would be happy to sell me 40 tellies but I'd want to see how it looks first.

Or even better, can the marker be rotated to preview what the telly will look like faced towards the wall (which is the best orientation for it anyway)?

How about printing out a giant market and photographing it from the air?

Perhaps I should get a life.

On first day, Apple sells 50 Lions for every lion

@Real life lions..

They are copies (of other lions). They are just imperfect copies.

(Your caveats still apply.)

Google erects Colombian 'g.co' URL shortener for Google+

More sloppy stupid dumbing down

Should Twitter, Google and their customers (ie the advertisers, not you) really be that interested in people who are too stupid to type in a proper URL?

I become really depressed at the weekend when I witnessed somebody I know to be a constant facebook user start IE and get to the facebook site by typing "facebook" into Google (it's her home page) and clicking on the first link. That was stupid enough but this URL shortening thing looks even worse - how is it actually going to make anything easier for anyone? What exactly is wrong with remembering and/or bookmarking some proper URLs anyway?

Big Blue offers staff Apples

@AC with discounted MBP...

That's nice. So what sort of discount did you get and did IBM get at all awkward about this "asset" (whose asset is it at that point anyway?) when you went forth?

Not flaming you at all, I'm genuinely curious...

Cool...

... so IBMers will be able to pay for their work machine instead of having their employer pay for it? Awesome.

(IBM's HR department seemed quite upset when I turned down a job offer from them some years ago. There were things in the employment contract I really disliked.)

Sony preps refreshed PS3 and talks down PS4

I can't wait...

... to see what functionality has been removed from this version.

Facebooking juror gets 8 months

Horridbloke likes this

roflmao

HTC U-turns over Desire Android 2.3 update

The Desire would be so much better...

... without all the uninstallable shovelware it comes with. If I want twitter (I don't) or maps (I do) then I'll install the latest version from the market and not lose several meg of precious flash storage to the factory-installed version whenever it needs updating. This would alleviate the limitations of onboard flash if that's really what was preventing Gingerbread + Sense.

Is the Shovelware still a feature of later HTC androids?

Explosion at Intel's 'Fab 32' Arizona chip plant

Now the factory's rid itself of those pesky vermin...

... just what is it getting to?

(Hope the affected recover swiftly though.)

Lockheed Martin suspends remote access after network 'intrusion'

@AC 15:37

What's a "C Drive"?

iOS dev nemesis Lodsys pressures Android coders too?

I'm not condoning illegal acts...

... but patent trolls are going to inspire and be targeted by a new breed of activist at some point, probably someone a lot nastier than Anonymous.

Gimp, because that's what they are.

Ricoh reveals paper-bright colour e-paper

"Ricoh's boast is a mite hollow."

No it isn't. If other techs exist and this beats them then that's progress and the developer has every right to boast.

Nokia finally gives Ovi brand a mercy bullet

Oh, is that what it meant?

I always assumed it was supposed to be the plural of ovum (even though the plural of ovum is ova) and was intended to allude to new birth and future possibilities.

On reflection I guess "Door" is probably better than "Eggs". Sorry it didn't work out.

2011 Ford Focus

"...won't be a problem when it's new and under warranty..."

Yes it will, because the failure may result in property damage (goodbye no-claims discount) , injury or loss of life. That would suck.

Terminator, for obvious reasons.

AdBlock Plus man disputes Mozilla add-on tests

Mobile devices

Anyone using a mobile device will care about startup time, because leaving the application running all the time isn't a sensible option. I (still) use a linux netbook and the long pause between clicking the Firefox launcher and being able to do anything really grates. FF on my Android device has a similarly annoying pause.

I agree about ABP being a requirement though - it's the main reason I haven't switched to Opera on those devices.

Commodore USA prices up revived C64, VICs

See icon

That is all.

Dell samples shrooms for server shipping

Employee benefits

Can the packaging be safely eaten? Will Dell be offering a choice of flavours or at least a satchet of soy sauce in the near future?

Paris because {TODO: insert double-entendre}

Commodore 64 revivalist posts prototype PC pics

Hello Clarice.

This reminds me of the bit in Silence Of The Lambs where Hannibal Lecter escapes while wearing somebody else's face on top of his own. Truly horrible.

(Yes, I saw the note about the prototype quality and finish. It's still horrible. Plus there appears to be a ****ing fan in the back of it)

Testing confirms Samsung keylogger rumour just a false alarm

Pillock

Does the original alert satisfy the legal definition of libel, ie does Samsung have grounds for legal action?

Bill Gates, because he knows some lawyers.

Crysis 2

A huge let-down

The joy of Far-Cry (and to a lesser degree Crysis) was the large-scale maps and relative freedom in tackling them - you really could play some levels several times and have a very different experience each time. I pre-bought Crysis 2 because I was hoping for, nay expecting, a similar level of freedom only this time in an urban setting. It's 2011 after all, it seemed reasonable to expect to be able to smash into any building, go onto roof-tops when I felt like it and generally make my own path to the required point on the map - you ARE playing a bloke in a powered armour suit after all.

What I got was a remake of the City17 bits of Half-life 2 with nicer textures, inferior story-telling and the oh-for-pity's-sake-this-isn't-a-game-it's-a-barely-interactive-movie quality of COD4. I've also encountered an apparent scripting issue in the game where, after defending a location against a horde of nasties, nothing else happened and the friendly NPCs wandered around the battlezone for several minutes until I gave up and quit.

Oh well. Serves me right for pre-ordering, I won't do that again.

Hollywood eyes Blade Runner replicants

Oh good...

... We can look forward to a crowd-pleasing comedy bit with a CGI'd only-about-forty Harrison Ford deep in the heart of the replicant factory.

(By "oh good" I of course mean "oh ****".)

Pitiless teen burglar murders three witnesses

I only hope...

... a suitable jury can be found:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/8264782/Cat-ordered-to-do-jury-service.html

Nvidia four-core chip to power quad-res Apple iPad

@BF

You do know "hyper" (above) and "hypo" (below) mean the exact opposite don't you?

Italian white van man nudges sound barrier

@ac

You're new here, aren't you?

Asus to punt Core i5 Windows 7 tablet

@Wibble

I agree with you on all these technical details, but the product will perform one useful function: the armchair pundits who bark about their perceived need for "full" Windows plus Office plus Photoshop in their tablet will finally buy one, realise what a terrible product it is, and shut up.

I'm looking forward to seeing how many cooling vents the thing has. Will it be possible to actually put it down (or even hold and use it for that matter) without the thing overheating and shutting down?

Flame because that's what it's going to do to somebody's sofa.

Microsoft ARMs Windows for iPad assault (allegedly)

x86?

I'm wondering what proportion of modern Windows software actually IS x86 - Redmond has been pushing everyone towards .net bytecode or whatever they call it for a long time. In theory a .net framework for ARM would run all this managed code stuff.

Legacy x86 code can be handled by an x86 conversion layer / emulator that runs like poo and crashes every half hour - everyone's a winner.

Of course that ignores the ridiculous hardware requirements to install and run even the most mundane .net applications.

Infinity Blade

Exploding Fist?

International Karate was better.

US smartphones – Once you’ve had Android there’s no going back

iPhone users are gimps...

... seriously, Apple's offering is the phone equivalent of a rubber gimp suit. That became clear to me the first time I suffered someone telling me how they could instantly tell what the weather was like in a major city six time zones away.

I have an unlocked HTC Desire, because buying a phone on credit is stupid and because I don't want my service provider frigging up my phone with branding, disabled functionality and other poo. I just want them to give me internet access and stand aside. The rough edges don't worry me and the wifi tethering function is just so nice.

ViewSonic tablet defies death by Steve Jobs

@karl 14

They have:

http://www.reghardware.com/2010/10/08/dixons_advent_vega_amico/

Unlimited CRB checks may fall away

&Jobsworth CRB amplification insanity

The stupid CRB implementation detail that makes things several times more awkward than they need to be is the fact that a CRB check and disclosure is done for and therefore sort of owned by, the organisation that requests it. This could be an employer, a professional regulatory body or a sports club.

For example, a friend of mine who works in the legal field and had a full check for that was told their existing piece of paper was no good for helping at the local sports club, who would require their own CRB check.

An individual could therefore need to fill out the long-winded form (and pay the admin charge) several times. Add the overcautious-school scenario described above then multiply by demands to do a new one every three years and things rapidly become impractical.

If an individual could get one check done, obtain their certificate and then have that certificate accepted by all the bodies that currently demand a check, that would be a massive improvement.

(Of course this wouldn't help the soft-evidence problem.)

Paris, because she's been checked over lots

Back-to-college 15in Notebooks

@Boghog

Because Mac users are all rich, smart, healthy and successful whereas students are poor and prone to diseases.

Apple's iPhone 4 denial: insulting or ignorant?

@John Fielder

I think you've stumbled across the explanation. The found/stolen prototype that caused all that bother a few months back was in a different casing, disguised as something else. So the exposed antenna etc won't have been subjected to the full round of field-testing. Oh dear.

Oscars can Sacha Baron Cohen Avatar skit

Is it because...

... although Cohen was once quite amusing on the 11-oclock show or whatever it was called many years he has been embarrassingly rubbish since then?