Posts by Dave Gregory

Citrix drops Rush Limbaugh over 'slutgate' slurs

Re: Apologizing for a poor choice of words is fine

For Christ's sake. The contraceptives were not for sexual use - the woman in question had polycycstic ovaries, and the hormones in the contraceptive pill/implant helped control it.

Regardless of your blinkered medieval views on birth control, this is a genuine medical treatment for a painful condition. Think of it as a treatment that has the side effect of making one unable to conceive and now try and tell us it shouldn't be covered by insurance.

Fake doc cuffed in concrete arse shocker

Crooked Little Vein

By Warren Ellis. I honestly thought he was making this stuff up.

Motorola Razr Android smartphone

Ice Cream Sandwich?

From personal experience, NEVER assume that Motorola are going to update everything.

Blighty's slow-crawling broadband streets revealed

uSwitch is trying to promote the nice little fee it gets whenever someone changes provider through them. What else?

PSN hack triggers lawsuit

Seriously

What the fuck are you talking about? Bilgepipe's comment doesn't raise any of these issues you seem to have taken great pleasure in making up and shooting down.

Hunting of incredibly rare two-horned 'unicorns' forbidden

2 horned creatures are very rare compared to single horned creatures

Like all the oxen, cattle, deer, elk, moose, goats, sheep and other fantastically rare beings of the world.

One of us has missed something, I'm sure...

Apple-branded unicorn spotted at 3

Unicorn?

Does this one have 2 horns, like the vietnamese saola things Lewis just informed us of?

Pope says gravity proves technology can't supplant God

EH?

Why would we accept something as the the truth, if by believing it we had to presuppose the existence of something we do not believe in?

"we're all to stupid to understand god's great plan"

Bollocks, mate. There is no god, no plan. Go on. One shred of proof, just one, and you can change the world forever.

Site-saving workers evacuated from Japanese reactor disaster

Hermes

Learn to spell, become coherent, remove tinfoil hat.

That is all.

Thank you.

Another year, another iPhone time slip

Comprehension FAIL

Perhaps the report says this problem affects American owners because the US just shifted its clocks? Read the article, incoherent fanboi, and see that the UK moves to BST on the 27th.

UK biz prejudiced against public sector staff

Dear sir,

May I suggest that you spend a while working in an understaffed, underfunded, high stress environment, such as that which I and many of my public sector colleagues do, and you might just realise that what you are typing is a torrent of ill-informed, prejudiced cow excrement.

Thank you.

Hardware keyloggers found in Manchester library PCs

But

The keyloggers are attached in line with the keyboard, i.e. between the keyboard & the box. Using the usb ports on the front of the machine makes the keylogger instantly visible.

Official: Playboy back cat stashed on hard drive

Nice

"cleaning the jizz off the scammer every now and again."

You, sir, win the Freudian slip of the day award.

Fake student hacker avoids jail over ID theft scam

Bail

Yes and we have a system called remand, in which - if your crime is heinous enough - the legal authorities don't just let you wander about doing stuff.

Bail being set for *any and every* crime tends to look like the same old trick of letting rich fuckers buy their way out of jail.

In this case, he would not have been remanded. He would have been bailed. But try not to patronise us poor old benighted brits too hard, eh?

Oz docs prescribed iPads by Premier

I Know...

...Your tinfoil hat. Definitely your tinfoil hat.

Infection control

Hilarious voiding of warranties as soon as they get moistened with a Clini-Clean or similar wipe. Probably won't do the screen a lot of good either. But it's OK cos an apple product could never be a vector for pathogens.

Opera feted for playing chicken with Steve Jobs

I'm a commenter

and I have friends, a social life, and can hold a conversation without becoming a single issue wonk.

You, sir, are clearly somewhat confused about the "normal" world, which is the world most of us "wonderful chaps" inhabit, be we "reliable", "capable" or otherwise.

Stop patronising us, you insufferably smug git, and quit hiding behind anonymity if you're trying to make a valid point.

Which you clearly are not.

Post Office complaints: Write to M.BARRASS

Barras

He does the panto at York Theatre Royal every year, alongside Berwick Kayler.

Colonel who slammed Afghan HQ PowerPoint culture is fired

That would be

The US Marine Corps.

"Every man is a rifleman"

British Airways sorry for 'landing on water' nonsense

Yeah, right

'cos they clearly wouldn't have anything more important to do on their minds.

Wingnut.

ISS cooling pump refuses to come quietly

No no no no.

"Because the heat echange process works better in the cold of space instead of the relatively cosy interior of the space station?"

Vacuum does not work like that. Keeping things cool in space is a REALLY big problem.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SpaceIsCold

Malaysia bans 'satanic' Man Utd kit

Red Crescent?

You do know this is the same organisation, right?

And for precisely this reason?

MPs call for crackdown on pre-paid credit cards

Election?

Didn't we change government a few months back? You may have slept through that.

Zuckerberg: I'm 'quite sure' I own Facebook

Similar situation down our street

A guy builds a house in his back garden.

His neighbour waits until he's got half the roof on before pointing out that it's 3m inside his boundary. Monumental cock-up, but kudos to the guy for waiting 'til he can maximise his profit before striking. I suspect this is (roughly) he same thing.

Lawyers may be considered evil, but paying a good one early can save a lot of cash in the long run.

(this just occurred to me 'cos I'm sat in the garden looking at the bloody white elephant)

UK.gov may cut BBC licence fee in 2012

Just...

Wow. I'm an ordinary decent Briton, and I've never referred to the BBC news as Pravda; nor has anyone I have ever met.

Some kind of congratulations must surely be in order for - in a single post - invoking: relationship violence, (implied) drug-rape and Godwin's law.

Unless I'm getting the wrong end of the stick, and beating drugged up teenagers is common practice down your way, to the point that you'd actually say this in real conversation without offending anyone?

Zuckerberg sweats privacy criticism

Dammit!

Is THAT why my manager suspended me again?

Bill Gates backs ball-busting ultrasound

Doesn't mean no sex

In fact,it doesn't even mean no ejaculation. Semen will still be produced, but viable sperm will not. As I understand it, the result is similar to a temporary vasectomy (but much less painful and invasive). So really, once you've got the last of the little fellas out of your system, it's fun as normal, without the risk of causing pregnancy (of course, this is no protection from STDs).

Sheffield hospitals pay thousands for dodgy software

Because

I got up at a sensible time and walked to the polling office this morning.

Ubuntu's Lucid Lynx: A (free) Mactastic experience

Cannot download release notes

Please check your internet connection.

:'(

Has Canonical been slashdotted?

Rogue admin waits for verdict

Hang on

I'm not going to prison. Anyhow, I'd be a quite considerate cellmate.

Death row inmate claims allergy to lethal injection

Paralysis

That's why they switched over. So the thio wears off as the muscle relaxant takes hold. You are aware, in fact fully conscious, but unable to move any voluntary muscle as you (a) become hypoxic and (b) the KCl causes your heart to go into VF.

Real nice. That's why they changed it. With an overdose of an anaesthetic induction agent you're out and stay that way.

Not that the death penalty is anything I could ever support in any way.

Because

Last minute - literally! - reprieves are possible. Imagine the cost if the state gave a man who was about to be aqcuitted hepatitis or some other such nasty blood-borne disease.

Yeah

Cos no-one innocent ever got murdered by the state. Not saying this man is innocent, but, seriously, are you some kind of sadist? Punishment by rape is currently (allegedly) popular in Iranian prisons. Why not f*ck off over there and see how good an idea you think it is. Barbarian.

US 'Anubis' stealth assassin robo-missile nearly ready

So it's small then?

"As soon as its target is found, the silent Switchblade plunges out of the sky like a small robotic kamikaze, detonating its small warhead on impact to take out things as small as an individual human."

New use found for 'world's most useful tree'

Yes but

Visquene sheeting isn't also highly nutritious.

'Doctor Dark Energy': The Ultimate LHC eccentric?

Damn it

My rant earlier forgot to rope in these lunatics!

Cell phones don't fry brains, boffins say

No, AC,

They're the ones who don't accept that they're wrong even when large-scale, highly soundly methodologically designed research and analysis demonstrate that they are.

You know, the ones who say "My neighbour has wi-fi, and I get headaches, therefore the two things are causally related". The same ones who force me into suffering crap phone reception because they won't let anyone build a new mast within half a mile of a local school. The ones who endanger the health of my friends kids by not getting theirs vaccinated.

Now, go RTFA. "...but rather that it simply proved that no cell-phone causation could be discovered in their study of 59,984 brain tumor sufferers... the increased risk in this population is too small to be observed, the increased risk is restricted to subgroups of brain tumors or mobile phone users, or there is no increased risk.

"Our finding that brain tumor incidence rates were either stable, decreased, or continued a gradual increase that started before the introduction of mobile phones, is consistent with mobile phone use having no observable effect on brain tumor incidence."

60 000 a big enough sample for you?

Makes no difference

The anti-scientific wingnuts who are convinced that phones cause cancer, that vaccines cause autism and that wi-fi and microwaves cause all kind of unlikely bullshit illness have absolutely no history of listening to evidence. They decided what was true in their pathetic little internal universes and no amount of rationality will ever - EVER - get them to shut the fuck up.

You can wave this kind of study at them forever and they'll just bleat out the same nonsense over and over.

Police smoke out 300-pound frozen turkey thief

In a heartwarming touch...

...couldn't the local store owner have given the homeless a slap-up meal, thus avoiding the heartbreaking unpleasantness of a family suffering a burglary?

Or are some people more deserving of charity than others?

/left-wing bleeding heart

Replace Bulldog gridiron mascot with robot, PETA demands

If we just ignore them...

...will the granola wingnut twunts of PETA go away?

It's probably wild optimism, but hope springs eternal.

Man catches MSI laptop with... his arse

WTF?

Is it some kind of prison metaphor?

Home Office ditches compulsory ID card trial

@AC 15:37

Don't you just cut'n'paste this exact post into every comments thread on the subject, appalling spelling and all? You make a valid point, but you make it exceedingly annoyingly.

2060: Humvee-sized, bulletproof meat-eating spiders attack

Cannibal spiders

You describe them as cannibals. If so, then why not just let them eat one another.

Problem solved.

Farmers furious at EU's sheep-chip scheme

I believed this...

...until I read of a successful trial in France.

Come on, there's no way French farmers would swallow this nonsense. They'd burn the sheep first!

Knee X-ray biometrics plan to fight spoofing

And then...

...You have a knee replacement in late middle age and become a terrorist.

What a completely retarded idea.

Scientology spokesman confirms Xenu story

re my earlier comment

I think that what I should have said was I get smug (often masking frustration) when theists can't see that atheism is qualitatively different to theism. That was the ignorance I meant, not implying that theism == ignorance.

That said, religion and theism confuse the hell out of me - I just can't get my head around the idea of believing in something like that, so I probably frustrate the hell out of believers. I also probably frustrate them by my refusal to accept something that I can see no evidence for whatsoever.

@Sarah Bee

Thank you for making a very important point.

And I'll admit that I myself do tend to get a bit annoyingly smug when theists simply can't see past their own ignorance (although I do try not to).

Apple 17in MacBook Pro

£2k?

You are having a laugh, aren't you?

Jared, I've never bought a Mac, and never will. Not because of the sealed battery, simply because the things cost considerably more money than (I think) they are actually worth. You're right, it does look mighty fine, but not 2000 quid's worth of mighty fine.

Oz bloke in underpants wrestles 'lunatic ninja' roo

First thing I always think

"My initial thought when I was half awake was, 'it's a lunatic ninja coming through the window'."

I wake up like that most mornings, dear...

Polish Spitfire shoots down BNP

Well said guys

Once more the BNP superbly demonstrate that they are in no way racist, or prone to gross sweeping generalisations, whilst simultaneously employing well reasoned highly intelligent arguments.

I know who I'm voting for!