Posts by call me scruffy

G-Wiz electro-car fracas leaves Top Gear blubbing

Leave it alone...

YES the G-wiz is so quiet that it's a threat to pedestrians and cyclists

YES any meeting between the G-wiz and a heavier, comfortable, metalic vehicle (which is called a "Car") will end very badly indeed for the G-wiz

YES any muppet driving these might believe that they are actually driving a real car.

YES they're only going to be bought by the trendy liberal eco nutters.

But look at the plus side... this will deal with all the cretins who've been so smug that they didn't fall for that old robbin reliant gag... AND it'll clean up the genepool into the bargain. Far from banning these things I'd gladly go permenant and pay real tax if only it'd subsidise chavs buying these things.

Teen embeds car in Edinburgh basement

Kids today...

Clearly this is one of those kids who can't handle the chinease vector problem.

If he could then he'd have known that you can't ramraid a window below street level.

Microsoft puts a figure on open source 'patent infringements'

Specifics

Notice that they're talking about 235 instances, not 235 patents. So the 15 violations by email programs for example, could be 15 programs all falling foul of the same patent... Probably something like "searching a history as keystrokes are typed".

As for "silly pictures in menus". (And donning my anorack) RISC OS has had support for icons within menu widgets since version 3 (1992). Prior Art m'Lud!

And there it hangs, I suspet that Microsoft do currently have patents for all 235 claimed violations, and so their statement is neither incorrect, nor libellous. However it could be that some of those patents are as well built as a VB app on a friday afternoon, as such the "full" version of the statement would be "235 infringments that we won't persue, because we'd just see the patents overturned."

New, New Labour gets new logo and website

Colours...

Oh come on...

"New Labour" has been further to the right than the tories, as such Red has no place in their colour scheme. But since ultra-viiolet is beyond the range of most monitors purple will have to do.

Gutsy eBayer touts 'Royal Marine surrender kit'

Even More Sadly,

Robust though their sense of humour may be, BRITISH Soldiers are actually disciplined professionals, although no doubt he can expect a steady stream of heavy lads asking what the fuck he thinks he's doing, he's unlikely to get summary justice and national shunning...

Well not until the tabloids get their mits on it anyway.

lets see.... [clickety] editor@ [clickety] thesun.co.uk [CLICK!]

Home Secretary bigs up fingerprint-activated iPods

iPods and Expensive Mobile Phones

"iPods and expensive mobile phones are blamed for fuelling this growth"

F*** me, and there I was blameing the pikeys... but no, it's not their laziness and greed that's driving the crime figures, it's Nokia's selfishly pushing bigger and better phones without bothering with more security features... And of course the consumer's own hubris for having the spiteful nerve to spend his hard earned on something rather than give it all to dear old uncle Gord, to be given to the pikeys.

Seriously it's not as if existing anti theft measures are used. IMEI's _could_ be used to track stolen phones and nail the fences but... no... that would mean the police having to get up from their mountain of paperwork... oh and it would breach the human rights of the thieves in some ineffable way.

Not that the police seem that bothered anyway. A mate of mine bought a mobile via ebay and found it had been blocked, when he reported the seller to the police for selling stolen goods, he himself was ticked off by the civie on front desk and sent on his way. I once went to a station with a complaint and full evidence of a market trader selling stolen hard discs... again couldn't get past the civie on the front desk, who concluded that because it was a computer part I must have bought it via ebay or somesuch vague reason for it not being a police matter.

Okay so we've heard Reid's hobby horse orwellian advice for the manufacturers... can we have the advice for the youth that he was f***ing asked for now? I dunno something nice and uncontroversial , keep it out of sight, avoid rough areas, that sort of thing.

'As I watch England turn into a quivering pile of dung'

Oh hush now,

It's well known that iranikstan doesn't have any scientists, let alone phd physicists. Infact they don't even have computers, thanks entirely to america (the only country on earth blessed with divine mandate to have computers) denying iranikstan their essen.. I mean technology. In particular the holy RSA, which shall remain sacred and unsullied as none of the uncooth zealots of iranikstan has even the most basic knowledge of math(s) or programming. Hush now, your concerns are groundless, your fortress of america will keep you safe.

Rockabye Southerner

In the oil field

When pump rocks the gold will flow

...

DoH's latest d'oh!

For F***s Sake.

If that's the best they can do, then they simply shouldn't be in the business. I don't mean the webauthor... who shouldn't even be in the business of breathing, I mean the twits who hired him without thinking "..." actually without thinking full stop.

THIS is why ID cards are doomed, while it's easily possible to concoct cunning RSA based forgery proof cards, I'd count us lucky if they were even protected by ROT13.

Wipe your arse less, suggests Sheryl Crow

P*ss artist formally known as sheryl crow....

I'm dumb dtruck by the brilliance... why pollute the world by washing a small cloth napkin, when with a bit of ingenuity and divaesque attention seeking, you can wash an ENTIRE SLEAVE? It'll probably catch on.

Sadly, much like the results of the office canteen, this crap can't be dealt with by a single piece of paper.