* Posts by B

30 posts • joined 10 Sep 2008

Lame Mac 'email worm' limps into view


@Dear fundamentalist

Feel free to STFU! If we wanted rational discourse we would not have come to El Reg.

Macs rock!

Windows blows!

Windows lovers blow sheep!

Apple fine-tunes app censorship


@Mac Phreak

While I don't agree that any censorship is a move in the right direction I do agree with your analysis of Apple's awareness of the legal landscape. I also enjoyed your (accurate) rant towards the haters and the pointless (and now proven historically wrong) arguments about how the iPhone will fail. As wise as they think they are, they somehow haven't managed to see that their opinion matches that of Steve Ballmer, thus proving them wrong. I imagine if they ever came to that realization they would run screaming into the night.

BlackBerries outselling Apple iPhones


You're kidding, right?

"All they have to do now is keep them loyal

Something which apple is having trouble with !"

- Yeah, they're having TONS of trouble. Especially if you ignore that they have the highest customer satisfaction ratings for both phones and computers. But don't let reality intrude, go back and bury your head in the sand again.

Apple slices retail staff as sales slide



I doubt this story is even true, but no, this is not the first of many. Apple is rolling and for good reason, they're making better products. Let go of the hate.

Microsoft gears up for Windows 8



"Oh, and OSX doesn't count as an OS as a Mac is an appliance built to work with other appliances by the same manufacturer"

- The fact that you got this sentence so wrong leads me to believe that the rest of your post is retarded gibberish as well.

Apple proves: It pays to be late


Replies galore

@us market

As an American who can't swing a dead cat without hitting another American (I'm surrounded by the bastards!) I have to disagree with your assessment of Americans buying phones because they are perceived to be American made. While a small segment of the population undoubtedly feels this way (hardcore union members with cult-like devotion come to mind), most Americans don't care. I'll bet only 1 out of 10 Americans could tell you the home country of many phone manufacturers and far less than that would have a clue that Android was released by Google. A small subset of them are technophiles and would know, but most technophiles just want a device based on certain specs, not country of origin. I believe the iPhone is a hit because Apple released a device where all functionality was easy to use, unlike any other cell phone over her released by any other manufacturer (foreign or domestic).

@Jez Caudle

Your post is one of the finest posts I've ever seen. You and I obviously share the same gift of using vivid, clarifying analogies. I find that creating a prostitute analogy clarifies an issue far greater than anything else I could possibly do. If you are trying to make an argument and you really want to pound it home (no pun intended) then go for the prostitute analogy.


How would that work exactly?

I have trouble with some of the suggestions for the iPhone. I would agree that a better camera, video, Flash, and background processes would be nice additions. I don't miss them, but they would be nice to have. But a physical keyboard instantly kills the advantages of the iPhone and turns it into something crappy like a blackberry. The advantage of no physical keyboard is that the keyboard can be modified via softare (as they did at least once already) and you get the new improved version without having to buy new hardware. Along the same lines the budget iPhone nano makes no sense either. Right now an iPhone is $200 with a contract. A nano product would be smaller, rendering the screen real estate unusable for much of the functionality it has now. So now you have a crippled phone (like every other manufacturer makes) and you sell it for what? $99? $49? You've saved the customer very little money and you've destroyed the usability of the phone.

I just don't see a physical keyboard nor a nano version happening. I think those suggestions often come from people who don't understand the design decisions Apple made when creating the iPhone, or how they envision the device being used by their customers.

Apple plays catch-up with new iPhone features

Thumb Up

@Mac Phreak

OMG, there's somebody else on this site who "gets it"! It's not the feature list, it's the implementation. You had me at implementation. You COMPLETE me!


Your comments are so well thought out

"How did civilization cope before all this shit came along? "

Quite right! I mean let's look at a few more examples which illustrate your point as well. . . .

Want to live in a house? Ever heard of a cave?

Want to drive a car to work? What, are you too lazy to feed a horse and saddle it, that you have to get one of those newfangled contraptions?

Want to take a dump on a nice porcelain toilet? You mean you can't find a field nearby with some healthy grass to wipe your arse with?

Want to post your ridiculous hypocritical bitching on a computer? Have you ever heard of pencil and paper, an envelope and stamp? Or how about smoke signals?

Did you really think your post through before you sent it? It's called progress. And since you were posting from a computer instead of using paper to send a letter (see your newspaper rant for a similar comparison) then you seem to have the very same problem you are berating others for. . . .funny how that works, isn't it?


@David Harrington

"It has been clear since the launch of the original model that the iPhone has been missing many features which come as standard on other platforms and also that Apple want people to pay extra for basic features which are available for free on most other phones, such as MMS and over the air backup."

- Except that is NOT clear since I'm not paying extra for this update. I get it free. Awwww, -1 point for innacuracy. . . Pity though, you sounded so regal right up until I compared your statement to reality.

"Most people also forget Apple is still a minor player in the mobile phone business."

- Depending on how you measure it, I guess you could say this is true. If you just look at the numbers then they (being a new entrant into the market for not even 2 years now) are definitely minor. If you look at influence and pushing the competitiion which has rested on their laurels for too long, then Apple is a MAJOR player. If they are so minor why are YOU talking about them?

"Finally, the closed nature of the platform is a serious concern - in that respect alone it is much worse than any Microsoft product."

- A concern to who? Not me. Open doesn't necessarily mean better, it just means open. And why would Apple be worse than MS? What is your logic on that skewed statement? If they are both closed then why is Apple worse? Hate much?

"Not to mention the lack of an SDK which actually supports the features of the hardware..."

- Again, -1 for innacuracy. An accurate statement might be phrased "an SDK that doesn't expose ALL the features of the hardware".

It's not often I see a post that is 100% wrong, but you seemed to have nailed it! Congrats, you should be proud, at least you excel at something in life . . . too bad it's at being woefully innacurate.

Apple restyles iPod Shuffle


@Seanie Ryan

How dare you point out the stupidity of the titans of industry who posted before you. They have the right to their short sighted stupidity and their also-ran, no-name mp3 players that are only so cheap because no one else wants to buy them. Let them marinate in their blind hatred.

Hulu yanks vids from TV.com


Should a call a Waaaaahmbulance for you?

@raving angry loony

" Let me know when someone in the US realizes that the world does not end at their national border."

- I don't think people in the US have a feeling of superiority as much as you might have a feeling of inferiority. Calm down and relax. A story that has the letters US in it does not mean your house is about to be carpet bombed!

Apple routs rivals in sat survey

Thumb Up


Sorry, I was so overwhelmed with your "you get what you pay for" logic that I went into spontaneous cheering. It seems "journalists" have forgotten that when you are a cheap piece of shiit3 and you buy a cheap piece of shiit3 then, inevitably, your experience is that your cheap piece of shiit3 is a cheap piece of shiit3!! And your response is to ask yourself what cheap piece of shiit3 sold me this cheap piece of shiit3!?

I know I paraphrased your response, but your analysis was right on the money.


I'll admit the Register seems to be baiting for hits . . .

. . . and I appear to be contributing to them. I eagerly look at the headlines looking for any article related to Apple just to see how it will be twisted against Apple by the "journalist" (does that title have ANY meaning any more?). This one didn't disappoint. After being forced to admit that Apple tops the customer satisfaction surveys (for several years in a row I might add) the author then deviates slightly and begins to fabricate how these numbers don't REALLY count because Apple buyers are more likely to be shallow snobs who are over enthusiastic and PC users just bought a computing device.

Bravo! You didn't disappoint. No matter what the news I can count on el Reg to apply a different standard to Apple as opposed to other vendors. Apple is not perfect by any stretch, but to try and explain away the results by discounting the replies of those who bought Apple products is a pretty slimy form of "journalism". Are Karl Rove and George Bush running the propaganda department at the Reg now? Is the hope that if you keep repeating a lie long enough it will eventually be truth?

So, in conclusion, I'll be back again tomorrow to read the latest propaganda. I'll admit, I'm hooked on how you manage to spin your anti-Apple bias.

New Windows virus attacks PHP, HTML, and ASP scripts


Best of both worlds, get a Mac

Unleash the flaming dogs of war on me, but I'm going to go ahead and make the observation that the choice of OS is not limited to Winblows or Linux. Winblows is. . . .well .. . .. .Winblows, so it's obvious why you wouldn't want to use it. Linux is powerful, but as several people have mentioned it doesn't seem ready for the masses, and online message boards leave you with the fear of getting gang raped if you ask any questions. So what is a person to do? If only there was an OS that was very easy to use . . . it "just worked" . . . and it also had the power of certified Unix under the hood. . . . .if only . . ...

Sorry if that sounded sarcastic, it wasn't intended that way. Just thinking out loud that there is an alternative that combines the best of both worlds.

Americans get indoor iPhones


Easssy buddy

@Adam Foxton

"Or is this just a "Ooh, the iPhone's awesome. It's the ONLY 3G phone, don't you know. 3G- brought to you by Apple" type article?"

Is your comment one of those "Ooh, the iPhone's a terrible crippled phone. It's the ONLY bad phone in the world, don't you know. Bad phones- brought to you by Apple" type comment?

Get over your whiny attitude already. Your anti-Apple fanbois stench is a bit overpowering.

--Written from my iPhone. The best phone I have ever seen or used.

iPhone SMS error bug won't go away


Replies to trolls


"If you bought an iPhone, clearly you bought it because it was cool, not because of what it does/does not do."

- The iPhone is cool BECAUSE of what it does do, and how it does it. If you don't understand that then fine, but don't waste everyone's time telling us why we bought it because you're getting it wrong.

@ G Plumb

"Typical apple, form over function! I hate my iPhone and am not surprised to read about yet another ignored bug. Apple software is written by graphics designers, not programmers..."

- Typical troll, vagaries over specifics. . .

Mac OS 10.5.6 problems? Apple suggests shampoo


What's the real percentage of affected users?

Although there are some obvious problems, I don't see this affected that many people. No one I know, none of the Macs at work, nor mine at home are having any issues. This is a case of the tail wagging the dog. Certainly this would be nice if it didn't happen, but the problems are definitely not as widespread as the article leads you to believe.

Having seen their anti-Apple bias I simply apply this formula to most Apple stories the Reg decides to run:

RegAppleArticle * -1 = TRUTH

or in programming . . .


Are iPhone users just tight?



"Leave the iTards to their quirky gizmos and widgets; Develop business software for business phones. The people who will buy your software don't have iPhones. They have Symbian / Blackberry / WinMob smartphones and PDAs. There's a good reason for that."

-Riiiggghhht., people only buy software on those old school, legacy platforms. The problem is the platforms you have listed are suddenly finding themselves in a whole new ballgame where their sales are being challenged by people buying iPhones.

"No-one ever bought an iPhone for increased productivity, they bought them because they're supposed to be reliable and look stylish."

-If that rationalization helps you sleep at night then by all means stick with it. I bought mine for increased productivity and it has paid off.

"These people probably aren't the sort of people who'd use their iPhone for office stuff due to the lack of actual office apps available and the fact that there are far better devices for mobile office stuff out there."

-And what would those devices be? . . . . Blackberry? . . . One continuous piece of crap after another. . . .Win Mobile? . . . You've got to be kidding. . . . Please enlighten me where this better device is?

"People only buy Apple iPhones and iPods because they want one. It's a lyfestyle product,"

-Again, if it helps you sleep at night then stick with this rationalization.

iHaters stick with these old, tired (and false) attempts to belittle people who like the iPhone, and Apple products in general. I'll be the first to admit that different people like different products, so if something else works best for you, then fine. But the folks still repeating the fanboi, fashion statement theories behind Apple purchases need to wake up and pull their head out of the sand. People are increasingly buying Apple products because Apple is increasingly doing a better job of giving the consumer what they want.

Attack of the quarter-ton, 'fridge-sized' killer jellyfish


Isn't this caused by global warming?

Or is it called climate change now? I forget what the latest PC slogan is for this scare tactic, but I'm sure the jellyfish hoardes can be blamed on global warming by some global climate "expert" who needs some free publicity.

Sun Java piggybacks Microsoft searchbar, divorces Google


Second rate Safari browser

You mean the browser that was the first one to pass the latest Acid test? The one that adhere's to web standards? The one Ballmer recently verbally toyed with adopting?

Just because you didn't like the fact that Apple included it in its download (which it shouldn't have done) doesn't make the browser second rate. Get over your ridiculous anti-anything-Apple bias.

Half of Brits abuse apostrophe's


In related news . . .

over half of Brits DO know how to use an apostrophe. Why is this newsworthy again?

AT&T cops to Jesus Phone-as-modem app


Feeling a bit inadequate AC?

@AC (figures)

Where did I say I was implying the USA was the world? How the heck did you get that out of my post? Get over your inferiority complex and RTF comment again.

your analytical skills = {empty set}


Anyone familiar with the phrase "terms of service"?

The reason the nullriver app was pulled (which admittedly bummed me out) was it was an app that would explicity violate the AT&T terms of service on the iPhone contract. If you bought an iPhone then you probably viewed the ToS and balanced it's negative points with the positive alternative of owning a great phone. (Sorry, but the iPhone is a great phone, not perfect, but hands down better than anything else i've ever owned.)

AC above was right. You all started acting like performing monkeys as soon as the Reg threw you an anti-iPhone banana. Now cue the "fanboi" chants from the monkeys. . . . I have this mental picture of you all throwing feces at the mere mention of Apple or iPhone. . .

US stocks up on semi-automatic rifles


Wow, NOW we've got a debate

I thought I was the lone voice in the wilderness on this one. Good to hear some other folks both inside and outside the UK understand that banning gun ownership only endangers the law-abiding population.

By the way, when will we finally get that knife ban in place? Especially against those "assault knives" that are capable of stabbing up to 10 people per minute? How many children die because of knives each year? Isn't it worth banning knives to save some kids?

On a related note, I saw in the newspaper the other day that some poor child choked on some assault candy. Another pointless death that could have been averted . . . .


Physician heal thyself

I'm a US citizen and I'll take a moment to respond to some of the hypocritical stupidity exhibited on this forum. I see a parade of ridiculous logic saying that legal gun ownership is not necessary, that semi-automatic weapons are only used to shoot innocent people, etc, etc. Have you people seriously been reading the news lately? Your own government wants a DNA database, complete monitoring of all phone calls, emails, internet use, cameras about every 5 feet, and that's all the crap they've rolled out so far! Wake up and smell the coffee folks. Your government, my government, all the governments seem to be using child porn and terrorism as excuses to justify monitoring and reducing the rights of its' citizens. While I am not advocating hiding in a bunker, I will say that an armed population greatly inhibits a governments ability to easily subjugate its' citizens. That is what the 2nd Amendment was written for and that is why gun owners jealously guard their rights. Getting the guns away from the population is the first step in trampling the citizens rights. Look no further than your own uber-monitoring society. You don't have to be a conspiracy theorist to understand that if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and sounds like a duck, that it's probably a duck.

As for guns and crime, gun laws won't stop that. Most gun owners are responsible with their weapons and use them for hunting, self defense, or simply to blow apart coffee cans filled with water for fun. Criminals will always find the guns, laws or not. Just like criminals will always find ways to break the law and plant bombs on subways? . . . . .Sound familiar? . . . .

I guess my point is the high and mighty comments about the barbarians in the States sound a bit ridiculous from a populace who has rolled over and spread their ass cheeks for their government to f' them? The alarmists who are freaking out over here are definitely over the top in their paranoia, but paranoia isn't that big a deal if all they are doing is buying them and storing them at home. As unenlightened as they are to your highly evolved state of being, at least they haven't given up the fight to their government overlords yet. How have you managed to justify your apathy in the face of what your government is doing to you?

Apple scotches pre-Xmas Mac desktop revamp rumour


It's not that tough to figure out. . . .

Seems simple enough to understand. Rumor of upgraded products before Xmas could potentially cause buyers to wait for the upgrade before ordering. Since they know this could have an effect Apple dispells the rumor so people will not erroneously wait for a non-existent upgrade. Common sense, right?

No, wait, let's see how the Apple hating Reg readers twist the analysis of this easy to understand event into an "Apple is evil" scenario. . . . . . How predictable.

Honda shows Insight hybrid in Europe


The reasoning behind the design

To answer those who rip on the futuristic concept car appearance of the Insight (which I agree with) let me post a bit of an explanation. I've read an article about this somewhere, but the point of making the car look so "wierd" is that they actually did studies with focus groups and found that buyers in that market wanted a car that stood out so people would know they were driving their eco-conscious car. Apparently a lot of people who chose the Prius vs the "normal" looking Honda Accord hybrid chose the Prius for exactly the reason you (and I) don't seem to understand, they liked the whacked out styling. With more digging in the focus group they found out that it wasn't so much the actual styling that they liked about the Prius, it was the fact that the Prius looked so odd that everyone who saw one knew it was a hybrid. The buyers wanted attention from others more than they wanted a normal looking car. The Honda Accord hybrid, on the other hand, look almost exactly like a normal Accord and thus didn't offer the attention these buyers craved.

Wierd as it sounds, that was what the focus groups uncovered. Based on those findings I drew my own conclusion which was, "Never underestimate the stupidity of people."

Apple channels Pandora with iTunes 8


You have a problem with $80 headphones?

Although I don't care enough about audio quality to spend that much money, I've seen lots of 3rd party headphones for iPods that cost much more than that. Please notify me when your hit piece article about their headphones is published so I can writhe in joy at your fairness and impartiality . . .

Apple code of secrecy imperils Aunt Mildred


A bit of FUD in your article, don't you think?

"And given the presence of millions of recently compromised websites, how hard can that be?"

Millions of compromised websites that infect machines by exploiting a Quicktime flaw? Sorry, but that is NOT what your link sent me to. Your article would be more credible if you didn't spread the FUD on so thick.


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