Posts by Geoff Kennedy

Joy Division designer tackles England footie strip

I was with the author...

Up until "some of the"...

Thai mobe outfit warns of deadly roaming charges

But, never-the-less

yes.. Refreshingly honest AND with a sense of humor.

Nandos 'village bike' ad not sexist, rules ASA

5 complaints in Total?

This means, of course, that 5 billion people were offended.

Oh, the humanity!

Nuclear synthi-jetfuel plants wanted for US Afghan bases

Methane simply a waste product?

It seems to me that an army base, especially one of those remote "inflate-a-camps" can find many uses for methane.

1) Heating Hot Water

2) Cooking

3) Convert small portable, field generators to burn methane, instead of diesel

4) Convert some vehicles to use methane

5) Heating the camps

6) Go look up Thermophotovoltaic systems. Use methane as the starter fuel

7) ??

Bare-chested Shetlander welcomes Google with open fingers

local welcome

SImilar to the "Local Welcome" you'd expect to receive in the Jersey Shores.

HINT: Phot-shop his index fingers from each hand.

Body of James Brown disappears from family tomb

errr..

Shouldn't that be 'UN-living in America'?

Greenpeace applauds Apple climate change flounce

@Neil H

If Apple was the only big-name to leave, then yes. However, it's been more than Apple. And it's not just limited to organizations liek Apple and Nike who are trying to cultivate a "hip" or popular image.

Several power companies, including PG&E (from California) have left and several other companies have made it know that they disagree with this position.

Given that, it's hard for the USCOC to say "We are the voice of Business in the US on this policy" when there are several heavy hitters who are saying "uhm.. no..."

Paris.. cuz do we really need a reason?

'Buy puke-rays and we'll donate to police widows & orphans'

Chunder Gat....

Best... Term.... Ever....

Kind soul donates Claymore mine to charity

WARNING!!

WARNING: This weapon contains ingredients known to the State of California to cause cancer. Pregnant or nursing women should consult their doctor prior to using this weapon.

Trading Standards calls for online knife sale ban

YAY FOR NANNY STATES!!!!!

I think the banning sales of cutlery to underage youth is pretty dense to begin with. If a kid needs a weapon, a ban isn't going to stop him. They'll just steal them. I'd be more worried about them stealing a box cutter, than buying a pocket knife, or *shudder* perhaps buying a kitchen knife for mum and/or dad as a present?

Knives are tools, plain and simple. I grew up in a rather rural part of the US, where almost everyone I knew carried some form of pocket knife. We never had knife fights. Never.

Bing slips into bed with Twitter

Search Overload?

ok.. in the States, M$'s Bing campaign is all about "search overload" and how Bing is a less of a search engine, and more of a "decision" engine.. whatever the hell that means...

Now they are adding Twitter to search results? uhm... Yes.. I consider Twitter an important tool for making decisions.

Microsoft takes hard line on Win 7 hardware

Funny

I use a Micorsoft Blue Tooth Mouse for my iMAC.

Beats the hell out of the mighty mouse that came with it.

Kebabs pose 'no danger whatsoever', Russians claim

Carrot Juice is Murder...

Listen up brothers and sisters,

come hear my desperate tale.

I speak of our friends of nature,

trapped in the dirt like a jail.

Vegetables live in oppression,

served on our tables each night.

This killing of veggies is madness,

I say we take up the fight.

Salads are only for murderers,

coleslaw's a fascist regime.

Don't think that they don't have feelings,

just cause a radish can't scream.

Chorus:

I've heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream)

Watching their skins being peeled (having their insides revealed)

Grated and steamed with no mercy (burning off calories)

How do you think that feels (bet it hurts really bad)

Carrot juice constitutes murder (and that's a real crime)

Greenhouses prisons for slaves (let my vegetables go)

It's time to stop all this gardening (it's dirty as hell)

Let's call a spade a spade (is a spade is a spade is a spade)

I saw a man eating celery,

so I beat him black and blue.

If he ever touches a sprout again,

I'll bite him clean in two.

I'm a political prisoner,

trapped in a windowless cage.

Cause I stopped the slaughter of turnips

by killing five men in a rage

I told the judge when he sentenced me,

This is my finest hour,

I'd kill those farmers again

just to save one more cauliflower

Chorus

How low as people do we dare to stoop,

Making young broccolis bleed in the soup?

Untie your beans, uncage your tomatoes

Let potted plants free, don't mash that potato!

I've heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream)

Watching their skins being peeled (fates in the stirfry are sealed)

Grated and steamed with no mercy (you fat gormet slob)

How do you think that feels? (leave them out in the field)

Carrot juice constitutes murder (V8's genocide)

Greenhouses prisons for slaves (yes, your composts are graves)

It's time to stop all this gardening (take up macrame)

Let's call a spade a spade (is a spade, is a spade, is a spade, is a spade.....

So, what's the f**king difference between a Netbook and an ultrathin?

@Chris

no.. they'd be asshats in that reference...

However an asshat will likely have too much hardware in the chassis.

Spysat-spying spysats on track for launch, says Boeing

This is all great and good

But who is going to watch the watchers responsible for watching the watchers?

Doner kebabs: Death wrapped in pitta bread

Donner Kebabs?

Coming from the left side of the pond, the headline reminded me of the "Donner Party" for some reason...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donner_Party

Who reads The Register?

You'll come for BOFH

But stay for Paris Hilton, Playmobil, and FoTW

Cows can't detect earthquakes: Official

hmmm

This sort of research is just udderly ridiculous. I certainly hope the scientists involved have moooved onto greener pastures for research, as opposed to milking government money for this endeavor...

Mom stole daughter's ID to shake pom-poms

Sounds like the makings for good TV...

Strangers with Candy, anyone?

'First algae-fuelled airliner flight' takes off tomorrow

A large, bloated object that run on pondscum and nuts?

I thought those were lawyers....

Harvard prof slams US nut allergy hysteria

Preach it!

I am allergic to several nuts, including peanuts. That being said, I've never had a reaction, unless I actually consumed them.

There ARE people who are that allergic to certain nuts, however the kids (an their parents) know it and will have communicated it to the schools. If it's not the case, the abundance of caution is really just an abundance of douschebaggery

Plod hopes Bluetooth messages will stem drinking

hmmm

so... to receive said messages your phone must be discoverable. Said messages will be sent via a secure government server (oxymoron anyone?)

I give it 2 weeks before someone starts using open bluetooth connections to gather information from open bluetooth connections.

Palin didn't know Africa is a continent, McCain aides say

@kain preacher

Of course we do:

51) Canada

52) Mexico

53) Australia

54) New Zealand

55) UK

56) Afghanistan

57) Iraq

Fisker prevails in Tesla tech theft claim fight

WANT

nuff said...

Daughter cremates mom on improvised barbecue

Culvert BBQ

Usually, you cut a culvert in half length-wise, then put a grill on top.

Similar to a BBQ made from a 55-gallon oil drum, only bigger.

As for the Back-Yard Gourmets with a Geriatric twist, they have to be nuts. They own an Almond orchard... and they're last name is Allmond. Totally nuts...

Mine's the one with grease and sauce stains and the tongs in the pocket.

BOFH: Unfriendly ghosts

JIMTHEBOSS

We know that you prefer the type of lass who requires "soft lighting and focus" for a decent holiday snap.

Gay sheep romp turns Tyneside blue

hmmm

I'm shocked he didn't film the "fight" and post it on ewetube...

Malaysian blogger 'detained' for two years

@Islam Alert

I dunno.. I always though 7 was a pretty cheeky bastard...

BOFH: Remote access malarkey

@Danny

Isn't it MORE fun to destroy their lives first... then kill them off?

hmmm

Ok.. no one died... I'm hoping ofr a part II where a certain Boss and certain lUser take the high jump.... into a dumpster filled witl glass

American Airlines typo dispatches corpse to Guatemala

I can see AA's side of this

Afterall, the peon who entered the data is probably union. The contract probably dictates that they can only type 3 characters per airport.

Changing the GUA to GYA requires a total of 7. Obviously the $321 is the union penalty owed to the employee. AA was simply passing their costs of doing business along to the consumer.

Caterpillar plans 600 tonne godzilla-lorry robots

BAM

"Replace the dumper on the back of this lorry with a big metal box, fill with howizers, cannon, gatling guns, grenade launchers, flame throwers etc.

Forget tanks, It could take out a city on its own!

At 600 tonne I doubt anti-tank mines would even damage it! As for RPGS!.. Might have to re-inforce the tyres."

The thing has a 380-ton capacity, not includiing the dumper. I would assume a military version would also remove much of the cab superstructure, to reduce the vertical profile. Also, the mechanism (hydraulic, I assume) to tilt the dumper would likely be removed, and replaced with smaller mechanisms to allow for independent action of any weapons placed on the platform. That's going to shed quite a few tons off the beast.

One could probably add several inches of armor plating in front of the wheels to reduce the effects of an RPG. It's conceivable that a military version of this could possibly be only vulnerable to ordnance on the magnitude of a bunker buster. With a chassis that size, and the lack of need for human compartments could lead to a design that spreads redundant systems throughout the machine, leaving it capcable of sustaining damage and still being mostly functional.

Although, its size would also leave it worthless for anything but full-on assaults in relatively flat terrain. An enemy with time to prepare could utilize exposives to make the ground itself impassable (say a trench wide and deep enough to bottom out a single tire).

Still.. there would be quite the psychological aspect of seeing 4-5 of these heading towards your position, each topped with several howitzers, machine guns (screw 7.62. stick with 30mm gatling for this beast), and of course a supply of hellfire, AAMRAM, and 2.5" rockets for good measure.

Paris.. well.. I'm certain she's had her own experiences facing behemoths with big guns.