Posts by Jay Castle

Miranda Kerr backs Oz porn-surf banker

Rumour has it....

.....that the jokester that sent the emails was none other than Miranda's brother, Wayne.......

ASA bites PETA over Baby P billboard

Report cruelty to animals immediately?

Why, what're the going to do?

Do PETA imagine some sort of animal court, a la Jungle Book?

As entertaining (and totally darn cute!) as that would be, I fail to see how it stop child abuse.

Stranded Hartlepool pair refuse coastguard rescue

Harsh!

"Prime example of what Darwins Theory of Evolution is a pile of crap. If it was true they would have and should have dies their in the cold as thier DNA should not be handed on to future generations."

Personally, I think people who can't spell or use punctuation correctly shouldn't be allowed to breed either, but I don't hope they 'dies in thier cold'.

Harsh justice, from a cacky-fingered commenTARD!.

Sky 3D to launch in April

I thought....

....that Sky had said that their 3D broadcasts woud be compatible with the sequential shutter glasses, as well as the other types of 3D. If that's the case, and if your LCD\Plasma has a high enough refresh rate (maybe 100Hz?), you shouldn't need to buy a new telly.

Still not sure I want a pair of clickity glasses whirring away on my face though - certainly not for football....

Obama to scrap Moon, Mars expeditions - report

You are an arse.

See above.

Tesco store bans shopping in pyjamas

Not in Tesco....

....but I've been known to pop to the local Co-Op in T-Shirt and PJ bottoms. I wear trainers though so you prolly wouldn't know they were PJs - you would just think I had no fashion sense, which isn't too far from the truth!

Mines the tartan one, with the bed-breathey tissue in the pocket.

Singapore nightclub offers booze for boobs

Time to embark on the Grand Tour..

First two stops, Kuala Lumpur and Singapore.....

Honk, Honk!

Men more different from chimps than women, say boffins

Yes, it was.

"What a jerk-off you must be."

My, how very Christian of you.....

She's back!

Had a funny feeling this story might merit a comment from our illustrious Moderatrix.....

Been too long since I saw post from you, thought you might have finally gotten tired of us! ;0)

What happened to CofTW, by the way?

Avatar renders this earthly life meaningless

Why not?

"I just would never have thought is would be over a FICTIONAL world... lifetards!"

Why? Heaven is a fictional world and plenty of people kill themselves (and others) to get there.

Spam filters stuff Canadian Beaver

Le Mesurier?

Not a fellow Channel Islander, perchance?

UK.gov moves to block Hamas kids site

I'm more frightened....

....by the idea of a Labour Jewish Movement. This country is in DESPERATE need of some legislation for the seperation of church and state.

Political parties have no business hosting religious movements of any stripe; they're more than capable of coming up with made-up, bigoted, racist bullshit without any help from churches!

West Country pagans tie horses in knots

Just when you thought it was safe to get back in the gene pool....

"It is possible it's a pagan ritual and I have had reports of a change in horse behaviour, so if these are children's ponies it is an absolutely awful thing to do."

Fucking moron........

Taser offers obsessive parents total mobe intrusion package

They should definately....

....be ashamed of that fear-mongering website and most of the features offered by this app are deplorable and unecessary but I find myself thinking that stopping people from calling\texting whilst driving is a really good idea.

Especially for young people who, if they are anything like I was, are convinced they're invincible and will pay lip-service to the advice you give them but will do what the feck they want when out of sight.

Guinness to hit three quid a pint

They may well start......

......by drinking at home, but they're not 'puking their ring' before they go into the pubs, are they? If so, then they should be barred entry, by law.

The reality appears to be that both supermarkets and pubs bear a measure of responsibility.

This guy laying the blame only on supermarkets is simply an attempt to divert blame.

That said, the lions share of any 'blame' for the state these people (me included, at times) get into rests completley with the people themselves.

So......

......the people we see puking their ring on the high street at 2am on a Saturday got their booze from the supermarket, did they?

Yeah, course they did.........

BeautifulPeople ejects post-Xmas fatties

A site that requires its users to be vacuous, shallow and egotistical....

Bet the iPhone version of the site is really popular then........

Google Chrome OS goes native (code)

Please, please, please....

.....can the hideous photographic link for this story be removed from the front page? I read this site when I'm eating my lunch, y'know?

I don't need that pair of fuglies staring at me - it's making my feckin eyes water....

Google accused of scrubbing bloody Berlusconi pics

Glorious!

"On Sunday, Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi was hospitalized after a man with a history of psychological problems hit him in the face with a statuette of the Milan cathedral."

I just cannot get the grin off my face every time I read that! The fact that it was a statuette of the Milan cathedral makes him sounds crazy, but I think he just has a fine appreciation of comedy.

Choice of missile = inSPIREd......oh, I made a funny!

IT first to abandon Tiger Woods sponsorship

Tee Hee!

Mourning Woods.....*snigger*

James Cameron poised to make Fantastic Voyage

I loved that movie!

Gotta get a copy and watch it this weekend - thanks for reminding me of it!

Hackers root Motorola Droid

All very valid points....

.....but for those who don't live in the Dark Ages of Crappy Mobile Operators (ie North America), the 'droid offering can be far more appealing than that bit of rotten jobsian fruit that shall not be named.

So while Verizon don't do this and AT&T charge that, I couldn't give a fig because I'm lucky enough to live in a part of the developed world and get decent rates and coverage.

Actually, it makes a change for us in the UK to be on the winning side when it comes to price\service comparisons with the rest of the world. It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling that only enhances the normal Friday goodness.

Mmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnn..................

No need!

As a user of HTCs lurvely Hero on Orange, I'm yet to encounter a situation where I would need to jailbreak my phone. I've installed 10s of apps, lots of which came from places other than the Market - in fact, HTCs PC software has an app installer designed for this very task!

Admittedly, if I wanted to use the phone on another network I would need it unlocked but I think I'm right in saying that's different to jailbreaking?

Also, can I just say that anyone with an Android phone should really check out WaveSecure, if you haven't already. It was mentioned in article on here a little while ago and is bloody marvellous!

Beer, cos it's Fridaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Pig plague alert: Our safe sex guide

Genius.

Simply put, you have made my Friday.

Thank you!

Georgia cops cuff terrorist elf

Sad, but......

...he's only got his elf to blame........

I'm sorry, even I groaned at that one. Yeah, yeah...I'll get it on my way out.

Facebook status bolsters alibi in armed robbery case

RDP wouldn't work because...

....by the time the bastard page loaded, you'd be cuffed in the back of the paddywagon.

I know, I tried it. Minus the bank robbing etc, of course.....

Ringback tones outselling ring tones

I've had this on my Orange phone for years....

....and I have had nothing but good comments from people - except my Grandmother who, despite several explanations, simply couldn't get her head around the idea and branded it 'weird'....

I mean, who in their right mind WOULDN'T want to hear the Foo Fighters every time you call someone?!

Fifth of iPhone users watching porn

Slow news day, huh?

What a load of bollocks this study is, both the concept and the results.

That is all.

Orange saves callers pennies with iPhone tariffs

This is the first time.....

......I've been able to compare the prices to my current Orange phone\plan - and it's much less expensive than I thought it would be, especially considering that the bulk of my current bill is data.

Definately worth a ponder, come Christmas time............

Governator in acrostic 'f**k you' outrage

Hands-up everyone who.....

......had to put 'acrostic' into Google.

*slowly raises hand*

Bugger.

Agincourt: The sensational truth

Excusez-moi Madame,

...combien pour envoyer mon pamplemousse en Norvège?

Google stalks your social circle

Damned plebby web-speak!

“What we've done is surface that content together in one single place to make your results more relevant,” it said.

No, what you've done is talk a load of Bollocks 2.0 - that's what you've done! WTF does 'surface that content' even MEAN?! And who asked for this app\feature anyway?

I suppose inventing phrases that we don't understand is a great way to promote services we don't want......

Aussie censor wants power to ban iPhone apps

He must be suffering......

.......from the same terminal boredom that his parents were when they named him.

He needs to get some lazily-named sprogs of his own sorted out so he can stop casting about for things to interfere with.

Also, what the HELL is with the Australian Gov't these days? Are they really a bunch of reactionary loons or does it just seem that way?

NZ town cans rabbit-chucking contest

Whether it's a Granmother or a Rabbit....

......when they're done with the body, who gives a fig what they do with it?

I love my ol' Granny to bits and would defend her from any harm but after she's dead and gone, I couldn't give two hoots what they do with 'her'. It's just meat after that. Set it on fire and swing it round your head for all I care.

She's not in there any more and she's certainly not looking down tutting at any

supposed ill-treatment of her carcass. The only people who might care are those left behind and they're just being irrational sentimentalists if they get offended. So there.

West Antarctic ice loss overestimated by NASA sats

@ Bassey

Jolly good show, old chap! Some sense at last!!!

Japanese bloke gets arsey over artificial rectum

He's lucky!

Oftentimes, having the wrong op can be life threatening. However, in this case it's just a pain in the arse.........

Blogging vicar casts Tina Turner into hell

Can't believe no-one's mentioned this one.....

......my funeral song is gonna have to be 'Don't Fear The Reaper' by Blue Oyster Cult.

It's been one of my favourite songs ever since I got fired for playing it on hospital radio. That went down like a cup of cold sick with a hair in it! Honestly, some people have NO sense of humour!

Oz driver prangs ute during 'amorous activities'

Jesus!

Looking at the picture, the poor bastard was probably trying to jump out of the car when he lost control!! And he probably had the drink afterwards, attempting to block the memory of that hideous creature lunging at his nether regions.

A crash into an immovable concrete object would FAR less likely to produce nightmares ....*shudder*

Trojan plunders $480k from online bank account

@ Big-nosed Pengie

Crap analogy. A more accurate one would be:

Motor Car X is the most popular car in the world, owned and used by 80% of the worlds population. If anyone, anywhere is going to do some driving, the vast majority of them will use this car. It has reasonble security, if correctly administered by the driver, but will always be open to theft if the driver doesn't follow sensible precautions and lock the damn doors.

Motor Car Y is another motor car, that some feel is just as good as X but is only used by a very small number of drivers for various marketing reasons, not the least of which is that it hasn't been around as long as X. The security on this car is comprable to that of X, however the drivers of Y tend, because of it's nature as a smaller, less popular car to be hobbyists or enthusiasts and spend more time fiddling with the system to make it work better. In addition, because of it's niche market, thieves have found it more profitable to target X instead of Y.

If you were to do a study on the number of thefts of property from Motor Car X or Motor Car Y, would you be at all suprised to learn that the majority of thefts occur from X, rather than Y?

No, didn't think so.

Montblanc punts £14k Mahatma Gandhi pen

Why would anyone want a Gandhi pen anyway?

The man was a pompous arse who wouldn't allow his wife to be supplied with life-saving medication when ill, arguably causing her death and stated that it was "god's will".

And when he fell ill? "Gimme those damn pills doctor, this HURTS!"

"Buy this beautifully crafted pen with an 18-carat solid gold, rhodium-plated nib and a saffron-coloured mandarin garnet on the clip for a more than reasonble price, so that everyone who sees you sign anything will know that you, too, fail to have the courage of your convictions."

Hypnotist expands breasts, cures irritable bowels

I tried a hynpotist once.....

.....to help me give up smoking. He would record the sessions so that I could take the tape home and spend an hour or 2 listening to them.

The day he told me it didn't matter if I fell asleep listening to them as it would "still work" is the day I realised that he was no more worthy of scientific credibility than those "learn french while you sleep" load of bollocks that were popular a few years ago.

It's all a load of total crap.

Ralph Lauren says sorry for incredible shrinking pelvis

@ Kwac

"And a magazine gets criticised for not 'touching up' Sarah Palin."

I know she's a crazy Republitard, but I would DEFINATELY 'touch-up' Sarah Palin!! *snigger*

Don't worry, I'm on my way to the coat rack......

Man jailed over air traffic control IT kit eBay scam

If she ran up such a huge bill.....

.....while he was around to keep an eye on her, imagine the freakin' nightmare that'll greet him on the day of his release!!

Poor bastard is gonna have to steal the crown jewels to pay that bill!!

Prehistoric titanic-snake jungles laughed at global warming

@ evangelistic climate nerds

Oh no! Someone doesn't agree with my interpretation of evidence that I choose to read, from sources that confirm my already-formed beliefs about changes to an almost un-predictable global system that may occur in the unknowable mists of the future.

Boo-frickidy-hoo.

It'll happen. Or it won't. No amount of wanking on about it will change the outcome. Unless, of course, you believe that those with a vested interest in the myriad financial incentives supplied by the latest Threat To The World As We Know It will wake up one day able to hear reasoned argument over the chiming of the cash register......

Sony claims 'lightest notebook' crown

Prolly only this light....

...cos it's made of spit and twigs. Another truimph of form over function for Sony.

Good work, lads.

Not.

PC tune-up software: does it really work?

Any reason why.....

....Uniblue PowerSuite wasn't included in the testing? I've used it for a while and have found it pretty good. Seems to help more with system stability than speed but I've definately noticed a difference.

Think you missed a trick there, boyo! :0P

iSnack 2.0 morphs into Cheesybite

Doesn't matter what it's called....

.....it'll still taste RANK!

Miss Bee, Miss Bee! Any chance of a puke icon? Pweeeese?!

MySpace confession sinks car-death conviction appeal

Not sure of the US law....

......but where I'm from, if you're behind someone who brakes hard and you crash, it's your fault. Period.

Not matter what the driver in front was doing, you should have been aware that you needed to leave more braking space.

I'm not saying this woman was a genius but nobody made this other idiot chase\race her. It was his choice. Just cos he's dead, doesn't make him less of an idiot.

Tories oppose charges and speed cameras

Dammit!!

I really wish the Tories would stop talking sense.

If they keep this up, I'm gonna have to vote for them! *shudder*

Egyptians uptight about 'Artificial Virginity Hymen'

@ AC, 00:22 GMT

"I hate this sort of story on the Reg. It just allows the bigots to let loose with their supposed intellectual and moral superiority. For a woman, medically, multiple partners has been associated with increased infection rates of clamidia, gardinella, thrush, herpes and HPV and these, in turn, lead to increased risk of cervical cancer and birth defects (in utero infection). Men with multiple partners are frequently passive infectors. Basically, a number of commentators, such as Germaine Greer have noted that the so-called "sexual freedom" of today does not benefit women, who may feel obliged to have sex to be percieved as desirable/wanted but rather men - for pretty obvious reasons.

So you may not like the idea of societies which value female and male virginity (yep, in Islam the man is supposed to be a virgin if he's never been married) but that's up to you lot to judge your of value system and why you have that set of filters. You might find judgementalism of others' value systems a bit low in validity after all."

Yeah, what-EVER....